Hey guys! Proper AN at the bottom

Disclaimer (robotic, monotonous tone) I do not own Merlin

warning - character death

Right! Now the boring bit's out of the way, on with the fic!

But Life Happened

If I'd have lived, it would have been different. I no doubt would have been imprisoned, at least for a bit. And if Arthur had been being really stupid, he may have even tried to execute me. Of course, I say tried. He wouldn't have succeeded. I would have just escaped, and helped from the sidelines. In secret.

But none of that can ever happen now.

Because of That Day, when everything happened.

That Day had started perfectly normally. I woke Arthur up, as usual, and then quickly dodged a goblet, as usual. I told him that he had a council meeting that morning, and he groaned, as usual.

What was not as usual was when a messenger ran into the hall, half way through the meeting, telling us that Morgana's army had been sighted, and was no more than half a day's march away, at most.

Immediately everyone sprang into action. Arthur started barking orders at me to fetch his armour, Gwen rushed to help Gaius with setting up somewhere to help the injured that there would no doubt be, and I, I just made sure that I had full access to both my magic and the dragons. I had a feeling that this battle was going to be significant. That the war between Morgana and Arthur, and indirectly me, would end today. I just didn't know what the cost would be.

An hour later we were all ready. Looking back now, I sort of wish there had been a delay of some sort, but I suppose the end result would have been the same anyway. Especially if it was destiny.

Arthur had decided that we should march out to meet Morgana, rather than wait for her to come to us. That way she wouldn't be able to take us by surprise, he said, and less damage would be done to the castle.

If I'd have lived, I would have fixed any damage done to the castle anyway.

We lined up on a field, facing the opposing army, a few miles from Camelot. Arthur at the front, with me at his side, facing Morgana at the head of her army. I leant over to Arthur

"Whatever happens today" I told him "Please don't think too badly of me for it."

"Don't be such an idiot" he told me "I know more about you than anyone. You're not going to surprise me."

I said nothing

I felt so guilty for deceiving him like this. But one way or another, he would know soon. For good or for bad, for better or for worse, he would know. And that thought scared me almost as much as the thought of the upcoming battle.

By now, Arthur was almost directly in front of Morgana. They had stepped forward to meet each other, and almost subconsciously, I had followed. But no-one had expected anything else. You never found one of us without the other, and we had finally, after much prompting from the knights and Gwen, acknowledged our friendship. We had a strong bond, almost like brothers (but neither of us would ever admit to that), and I just hoped that the truth wouldn't destroy that bond.

Arthur spoke. "May the best Pendragon win" he said.

Morgana sneered. "Indeed."

We walked back to our respective armies, the air full of anticipation for the battle ahead. I reached out to the dragons with my magic, and told them to fly just out of sight, for now.

Arthur spoke to his knights, just some brief words of encouragement, and Gwaine came up to me and slapped me on the back. "Good luck protecting the princess" he told me "I reckon you're going to need it. Even with that…..talent of yours"

I looked up at him sharply. He just winked and walked off, back to his place in the lines, ready for battle. I suppose I wasn't really too surprised. I had expected someone to work it out sooner or later, and it hardly surprised me that it had been Gwaine. He was more perceptive than most people thought, and people spoke more freely around someone who was supposedly drunk all the time.

Both sides were now ready. They were tense, both waiting for the other to make the first move. Then, all of a sudden, Morgana waved her arm, and a dozen balls of magic flew through the air towards our army. Great. The enemy had magic users. There was a sudden panic, as the soldiers saw no way of avoiding the spheres. This was it. Showtime.

"Please don't hate me" I said to everyone in the area, particularly Arthur, before thrusting my hands out in front of me, and creating a wall of energy which I sent towards the enemy, wiping out the magic in it's path. I no longer needed incantations to make my magic work, it was so powerful.

There were some shocked cries behind me, and a low "I knew it!" from Gwaine.

I didn't turn round, partly because I didn't want to see the betrayed look I was sure would be on Arthur's face, but also partly because I had bigger problems on my hands.

Morgana looked at me furiously. "YOU!" she said "You have magic! AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! WHEN I WAS HAVING THOSE DREAMS, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME! NO, INSTEAD YOU POISONED ME! YOU HYPOCRITE!"

I was shocked. Morgana thought I poisoned her because she had magic? She really thought that little of me? I will admit I was a little hurt, even though we hadn't been friends for years.

"You think that's why I did it?" I asked softly "That was never the reason" I told her "Ever. I wouldn't do something like that to anyone. Not Ever. Especially since, like you said, it would make me a hypocrite." I paused for a minute, while Morgana looked shocked. No actual fighting had been done yet, and everyone was watching us.

I continued. "I poisoned you because you were the vessel for the spell that was sending everyone to sleep. It was the only way!" I pleaded "I didn't want to do it! I wanted to help you! I honestly did! But…"

"But what?" she snarled "Why should I listen to you anyway. You lied to me. About my magic. About our magic!" I flinched "Why should I listen to you now?" she asked.

"Because the Morgana I knew is still in there, somewhere." I told her insistently. "I'm sure of it"

"Enough of this" she said. "You're probably not very good anyway, knowing you. That's why you didn't tell me. You were embarrassed! Let me show you how the real magic users do things."

I was fed up of this by now. I was sick and tired of her big words and fancy statements. And making assumptions all the time. It was time I set her straight.

I summoned some wind to lift me a few feet off the ground, and called the dragons to me. They landed with two large thumps, causing the armies to scatter in alarm. When I spoke, I added a bit of power to my voice, so that all could hear me.

"MORGANA PENDRAGON!" I yelled "I AM THE WARLOCK, BORN WITH MAGIC, TO PROTECT CAMELOT. I HAVE MORE POWER IN MY LEFT HAND THAN YOU DO IN YOUR ENTIRE BODY! IT IS MY DESTINY TO PROTECT THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING, ARTHUR PENDRAGON."

I gestured to him, turning around as I did so, looking at him for the first time since everything had changed. He looked shocked, but also a little proud. That confused me. Why would he be proud? I turned back to look at Morgana, who had a shocked look on her face. Oh well. In for some, in for all. I continued.

"ARTHUR PENDRAGON" I said again. Then I lowered my voice, though everyone could still hear me.

"Who will unite the land of Albion, and be the greatest king this land has ever had." I raised my voice again. This was it. No more secrets.

"AND I WILL HELP HIM, IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO. EVEN IF HE KILLS ME FOR IT, I WILL HELP HIM. FOR I AM THE LAST DRAGONLORD, THE SON OF BALINOR. I KILLED NIEMUH AND CORNELIAS SIGAN. I SLEW YOUR IMMORTAL ARMY, MORGANA. I HAVE A DESTINY TO FULFIL. AND YOU, MORGANA PENDRAGON, ARE STANDING IN MY WAY." I paused to give my final statement more effect.

"I AM EMRYS!"

There was a shocked silence on the field. No-one moved. We all just stood there. Then Morgana screeched

"NO! You cannot be Emrys. He is an old man. Nice try, but I call your bluff, Merlin. You are not Emrys." She started to laugh.

"Oh believe me, I am Emrys. Did I forget to mention that I am also Dragoon the Great? It is he who is the old man that you saw. An ageing spell was all it took. I most definitely am Emrys. And now, I must complete my destiny."

I threw my hand out in front of me, and, catching Morgana unawares, shot her backwards through the air. She landed on the ground with a loud thump. She quickly got back to her feet, and retaliated. Around us, I could hear the sounds of the battle going on. It had finally started. The end was upon us.

There was a shout as one of our soldiers was blasted with magic. Damn it. I had forgotten about the other spell casters. I quickly and silently erected a faintly shimmering, almost invisible shield over Camelot's army, one that would not impend on the fighters in any way. Then I got back to my fight with Morgana.

By this time, she had summoned a large ball of energy, which was currently swirling in her hands. She shot it towards me, but it was no sooner released than it was blasted out the way by Aithuasia. 'Go, and help Camelot' I told him and Kilgharrah with my mind.

Soon Morgana and I were quickly exchanging regular shots, but neither of us could land a hit on the other. Then, suddenly, Morgana, instead of firing at me, fired at Arthur. For some reason, the shield didn't block it. He must have been outside of its range. It was so sudden; I didn't even have time to react. He was down, and wasn't getting up.

I let out a roar of fury, and summoned all of my magic, every last drop. I didn't care about anything right now, other than the fact that Morgana hurt Arthur! That was the only thought my brain would comprehend.

Once I had all my magic, I let it out in one go with an almighty yell, and then fell to my knees. When I looked up, I saw that the Morgana's army was completely gone. There wasn't a single soldier left. Morgana herself was just a pile of smoking ashes. I had obliterated them all.

'Arthur' I was my only thought 'get to Arthur.'

I got up and stumbled towards him, passing people I knew but didn't remember. Remembered but my brain didn't comprehend.

I reached his side, and dropped to my knees next-to him. He was unconscious, unsurprisingly, and had a large wound in his side that was bleeding freely, as if he had been gored by a large animal with tusks of some kind. The puddle of spilled blood from it was large, so large that I was kneeling in it, and it was still spreading outwards steadily.

I reached out with a trembling hand and probed the wound. Arthur groaned, clearly not as out of it as I had thought.

"Sorry, Arthur" I said "But this is going to hurt"

I had never been much good at healing spells, but I had to do this. There was no choice in the matter. This had to work.

I poured every remaining spark of my magic down my arm, through my hand, and into the wound. I ignored the cries of surprise from the audience gathered behind me as Arthur's wound began to close. I felt both Kilgharrah and Aithuasia lend me their magic so I didn't pass out from exhaustion, either magical or physical, and finally, the wound was completely healed.

I sat back on my heels and wiped my hand across my forehead, as Arthur slowly opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. I swayed unsteadily as the exhaustion from the day caught up with me.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked me "what did you do?"

"Ummm…."

I didn't know where to start. Morgana? The dragons? The battle?

My magic?

I opened my mouth to start talking - about what I wasn't sure - and felt an odd sensation. A sudden warmth in my chest. Someone gasped. It may have been me. I looked down and saw a sword poking through my chest.

Someone had stabbed me.

Everything went silent as I swayed, and was gently caught by Gwaine, the only one not frozen in panic. He, somehow, managed to pull the sword out of me and laid me on the ground without panicking or shaking too much.

Inside my head, I was making connections. I had destroyed the whole of the opposing army, I realised numbly. So, I had to have been stabbed by someone on our side. Someone from Camelot. After all I had just done. Even with my magic, I had still saved Camelot. And this was my only thanks.

Now, it was Arthur's turn to kneel next-to me. He looked at me sadly. I was dying, and we both knew it. Not even magic could save me now. He took my hand.

"I'm sorry, Arthur" I told him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for" he told me "I had always known you were hiding something from me, and I waited for you to tell me in your own time. I just wasn't expecting something quite this big. But I would have waited forever."

There was a pause when we just looked at each other. Then Arthur asked

"Was it true? What you said to Morgana? Was it true?"

"Every last word" I told him truthfully

"And Dragoon the Great?"

I snorted "Not the best false name I've ever come up with, I'll admit"

"You made me carry you!"

"You try walking that fast at eighty!"

"Idiot"

"Prat"

Even now, in my last moments, we were insulting each other. But I knew I hadn't long left. And I still had things I had to say.

"Kilgharrah?" I called. He approached, being careful to mind the soldiers.

"Yes, young warlock?" he asked

"What happens to the dragons when the last Dragonlord dies?"

"They either nominate another, or the dragons die." He said bluntly, for once not speaking in riddles, perhaps realizing how little time I had left.

"How do I nominate another?" I asked him.

"Simply tell me who it is you have chosen, and I will do the rest."

"And will they have magic, because of being a Dragonlord?"

"Indeed."

I glanced at Arthur, but knew immediately that he was not the right choice, and he seemed to know it too. I glanced round at the other knights, the ones from the roundtable in particular. I knew immediately who it would be.

"Gwaine." I called "Come here" he walked over quickly. Arthur looked at me incredulously. "Gwaine?" I asked him "how would you like to be a Dragonlord? As my last gift to you? To have magic, and to help protect Arthur?"

"Merlin" he told me "It would be an honour."

"Then I choose Gwaine" I told Kilgharrah "to be my successor as Dragonlord"

In response, the Great Dragon learned over and breathed a fine mist over Gwaine. Then he said

"It is done. As soon as you, young warlock, pass on from this life, then the transfer will be complete."

I chuckled weakly "Then he won't have long to wait." I told them.

Everyone looked at me worriedly as I let out a shuddering breath. I hadn't noticed, but the pain had been getting steadily worse as the conversation had unfolded above me.

"Go to Gaius." I instructed my two best friends. "Gwaine - he can help you with your magic, as he did for me. Arthur - he can tell you the full story of everything I ever did with my magic to help you and Camelot. And remember, I forgave you for it all years ago."

I let out two tears as I felt the last of my life leave me.

"Goodbye, my friends. My best friends." I whispered with my last breath. I felt Arthur bend down next to me. The last thing I ever heard was his whisper in my ear.

"Goodbye, my brother."

If I'd have lived, it would have been different. But life happened.

AN - so? what did you think? was it okay? this fic is several firsts for me, so i would really like some feedback please guys. it's my first Merlin fic, my first death fic, and also (possibly) my first multi-chap fic. which is my next point/question. would you like me to continue this? i already have a second chapter, which does need some tweaking, and the start of a third. i also have ideas for a possible sequel! so what do you think. please leave a review and tell me!

-APP