Crossing the Line

Title: Crossing the Line

Summary: Thanks to Heather's treachery, Lindsay is about to be kicked off the island...unless a certain techno-geek has something to say about it.

Disclaimer: The characters and plot of this story are taken from blah blah blah come on we all know the drill, is this really necessary?

Pairings: Main: Cody/Lindsay, Side: Noah/Gwen, Ezekiel/Bridgette and Duncan/Leshawna.

Warnings: Crack pairings that may make some people cry. Also, mild language and dialogue inappropriate for small children, but overall, not any worse than the actual show.

JoeMerl: This story is dedicated to Winter-Rae, the great crack-pairing artist; the main pairing is my own idea, but this story is specifically written because I kind of wanted to imitate her style. (Hey, I'm even doing the Author's Notes like her!) However, unlike most of her stories, this one is multichaptered and mostly written in the first-person (Cody's point of view). Basically this is an AU version of the episode "That's Off the Chain!" The sudden breaks with the script format represent Confession Can segments. I hope you enjoy!

Crossing the Line

Chapter One: Partners

"Aaaggghhh…"

Noah's hands tightened on his book. "Eighteen."

"Huh?" I looked up, startled out of my thoughts.

"Eighteen, Cody. That is the number of times you've sighed in the last half hour. Have you ever listened to someone sigh eighteen times in thirty minutes? It gets really, really annoying."

"Okay, jeez, sorry."

Noah grimaced and returned to his book. Rolling my eyes a little, I turned back around to stare across the beach, to the dock where Lindsay was sitting, swinging a flyswatter at an annoying bug. I grinned, letting my head rest in my hand. I felt like I could just sit there, watching her all day…

"NINETEEN, Cody! NINETEEN!"

"Noah man, really, calm down. I mean, you could read that thing through a hurricane without breaking your concentration and somehow a few little breaths of air manage to---" Suddenly I broke off, my eyes still on the dock. I let out a grin. "Oh---"

Lindsay, in her continuing quest to nail the fly, had absentmindedly swatted Heather in the face. I giggled. Even Noah had to snicker. "Well, then. Go Lindsay."

"Yeah, isn't she---hey!"

My eyes widened as I turned back to the dock; Heather had taken the flyswatter from Lindsay's hand and gave her a few small (but still very rude) slaps on the nose with it. Lindsay drew back in surprise, while Heather sat up and put her foot in Lindsay's lap. Lindsay made a face, but a moment later started giving Heather a pedicure.

I gaped, motioning across the beach. "Ugh! Can you believe that?!"

Noah, however, was far from indignant; he snickered again. "Well, you can't say Heather doesn't know how to get payback," he muttered, burying his face back into his book.

I glared at him. Turning back to stare at the dock, I reached out and slapped the book out of his hands, dropping it onto the sand.

"Hey!" Noah snatching it back up. "What's your problem? Oh yeah," he muttered, and I didn't have to look to know he was rolling his eyes. "Your little thing for Britney Spears over there."

"Don't make fun of Lindsay!" I snapped. Then, after a moment, "Or Britney Spears! She's been through a lot."

"Oh, whatever." He opened his book and hid behind it again. "Do you even know how ridiculous you look, sitting there all day and just watching her like some sort of insane stalker?"

"I don't do that."

"Really? You've been doing it for more than an hour now."

"I have not!"

"What time is it?"

"It's nine o'…" I checked my watch, then frowned. "…Oh. It's after ten already? Okay, fine, I'm obsessed." I sat back down, letting a smile crawl back over my face. "But can you blame me? Even filing Heather's toenails, she looks like some sort of beautiful angel…"

"And here comes sigh number twenty." He looked up from his book, following my gaze across the beach to where Lindsay and Heather were sitting. "You know, she's not even that good-looking."

I spun around, gaping at him. "'Not that good-looking?!' Are you blind, man?! She's perfect. What with that hair, that smile, those enchanting blue eyes…"

"A chest that weighs more than her head…"

"Hey! Have some respect for the lady!" I snapped, even as my eyes drifted back over, trying to estimate whether or not that was true.

"Oh, admit it. You only like her because she looks like she just waltzed off the cover of a fashion magazine." He turned a page of his book and allowed a rare, small smile to cross his face. "I like my girls with a bit more personality, myself…"

"I would think you'd be happy I'm not into Gwen anymore."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because really, you were such stiff competition..."

"And besides, I do not just like Lindsay because she's good-looking. I mean, have you ever stopped and talked to her?"

"Yes. It was remarkably similar to conversations I've had with my five-year-old niece."

"Now, see? There you go making fun of her, but I bet she's never said anything bad about you…on purpose," I added, with a slight shrug. "That's what I mean. Haven't you ever noticed how nice she is? How cool she is to everyone? I mean---she's like, this beautiful, rich, popular, amazing girl, and she just treats everyone so perfectly. Even Heather." I released Sigh #21 out, turning back to watch her toil on Heather's nails. "I've never met anyone as cool as her."

"Hmm. Too bad she has the IQ of your average garden snail."

I turned to glare at him again, and for a moment I seriously considered snatching his book again and throwing it into the lake. Luckily, the loudspeaker started up before I could make such a mistake, emitting a shrill screech before Chris' cheery voice boomed out.

"Morning, campers! Your next challenge awaits you at the Arts and Crafts Center."

"Arts and Crafts?" I said, standing up and brushing sand from my jeans. "Sweet! That sounds much less suicidal than usual!"

"Hmph. It's still Chris picking the challenge," Noah muttered, rising to his feet and following me across the camp. Before going, though, I let my eyes wander back to where Lindsay, looking relieved to have a reason to cancel Heather's foot treatment, was smiling as she walked down the dock.

"Man, she has a great smile," I sighed, as Noah grumbled "Twenty-two" under his breath.

"Welcome to the Arts and Crafts Center," Chris said, motioning to the small shack.

"More like the Arts and Crap Center," Duncan grumbled. Leshawna turned and gave him a look, and he instinctively winced as she raised her hand as if to slap him.

"Yeeaah. It use to be an outhouse, but now it's where Chef parks his road-hog."

Chris turned and suddenly kicked in the door; Duncan, Ezekiel and I immediately got up to look inside, marveling at the beautiful, pristine motorcycle parked incongruously in the room. Noah and the girls didn't seem very interested; in fact Noah, when I turned back, was trying to snake his arm around Gwen's waist, only to have his hand repeatedly slapped away. Both of them wore expressions halfway between annoyed and amused.

"Which brings us to your challenge," Chris said, as we all turned back to him. "Building your own wheels."

"Motorcycles?" I said, feeling another grin break out over my face.

"Not quite," Chris said, motioning to a pile of scrap metal off to the side---handlebars, wheels and bars that looked way too scrawnier than Chef's bike.

"Bicycles?" Ezekiel asked, as Bridgette reached over his shoulder to pull his finger out of his nose, looking annoyed.

"Correctamundo, Zeke my man. Once you've collected the basics, you can trick them out anyway you want with props from the Arts and Crafts Center." He put a camouflage helmet on as he got into his ATV. "Best design wins! And, to prove I'm a nice guy, I'm even throwing in a bike manual."

He threw it casually over one shoulder as he drove away; Heather caught it. "Ew! It's furry!" she screamed, throwin' it away; I let out a cry as it hit me in the chest.

"Oof!" I examined it. "It's just some mold spores."

"Uch. Freak." She turned back to the Arts and Craft Center. "We get first dibs."

"Ugh. This is like shop class," Noah muttered, digging through the pile of broken bike pieces and grimacing at each one. "Except without a doctor's notes to get me out of it."

I raised an eyebrow. "How do you get a doctor's note to get out before shop class?"

"Balsa wood allergy."

Ezekiel pulled a rusty bike's body out of the pile. "Hey, Coody, do you think this looks stable?"

"Huh?" I glanced up. "Uh…yeah, I guess." I pulled out a pair of handlebars. "Hmm…"

"Okay, that scrawny little white girl is getting on my last nerve!"

I looked up as Leshawna stormed over, arms crossed angrily over her chest, Gwen and Bridgette walking slightly behind her.

"What's the matter?"

"Heather and Lindsay are hogging the Arts and Crafts Center," Bridgette muttered, rolling her eyes. "Heather won't let anybody else in until they're done picking out what they want." She shrugged, then looked down at the pile." So, how you boys doing over here?"

"Ugh. Most of this crap looks older than I am," Noah grumbled, tossing a wheel down angrily.

"It shooldn't be too hard though, eh?" Ezekiel asked, down on his haunches as he dug through the mass of parts.

"You know anything about this kind of thing, Zeke?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, my dad's taught me a bit about mechanics and stuff," he said, shrugging. "Building a bike can't be too much harder than fixing a tractor, can it?"

Bridgette scoffed. "I have no idea. I can barely ride a bike without killing myself, let alone build one." She suddenly leaned over Ezekiel and wrapped her arms around his chest; he froze instantly, white face turning red. "But you'll help me though, won't you?"

"I---uh---zuh---shoor, eh?!"

Bridgette smiled; Ezekiel practically swooned. The rest of us rolled our eyes as they walked away, arms full with a collection of parts. "I don't suppose you know anything about this?" Gwen asked Noah, raising an eyebrow.

He scoffed. "Sorry, honey, not my forte."

"Oh, nothing is ever your forte."

"Well, do you have some sort of special talent for this sort of thing?"

"I'm sure I can figure it out if I use the manual," she muttered, holding it up in her hand.

"You all might as well not even bother with this challenge," Duncan said, laughing as he pulled parts out of the pile without any effort. "I've got this one in the bag. There's no way you losers can beat anything I throw together. Heh-heh-heh---OW!"

He nearly fell forward as Leshawna's hand collided with the back of his head. Noah and I snickered. "Oh, quit your braggin', Baby Boy," Leshawna grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. She grabbed an armful of pieces randomly. "I'm gonna go work in the shade."

She stalked off; Duncan glared after her, rubbing his head. "You know, Leshawna doesn't like it when you act rude to people," I observed. "Maybe you should try being a little nicer to people."

Duncan gave me a look. "Oh, like I need advice from a dateless loser like you," I muttered.

"Hey!" But he stormed off after Leshawna before I could come up with a decent comeback. Gwen rolled her eyes. "Aw, don't worry about him, Cody. He's just in a bad mood because Leshawna's not letting him get into her shirt."

"Smart girl," Noah muttered, examining a pedal. He turned back to Gwen. "Well, honey, wanna try to put together a pair of working bikes?" His voice was even more dripping with sarcasm than usual.

"Sure, why not?" She looked around Noah to me, holding up the bike manual. "Are you gonna need to borrow this, Cody?"

"No thanks," I said, waving her away. "I think I know what I'm doing."

"Okay."

They walked off, leaving me alone at the pile. That was okay, though; I still had plenty of pieces to choose from. I sifted carefully through them, biting my tongue in concentration.

Cody: This shouldn't be too hard. It's like Zeke said, no big deal if you have experience. Heck, I'd been making robots since I was nine. Okay, a lot of them wound up either breaking down or blowing up, but those were mostly programming errors.

Now, where to work? I looked around the yard. There were Ezekiel and Bridgette, working together---well, mostly Ezekiel working; as I watched, Bridgette bent over to try to help him screw something in, and a moment later was tending the black eye he got when she accidentally elbowed him in the face. Nearby Noah was flipping through the bike manual furiously, muttering to himself while Gwen laid out the pieces for their two bikes on the ground. Past them Duncan and Leshawna seemed to be working separately, but they definitely seemed to be collaborating: Leshawna looked like she was asking him for advice, while he, from the sly look on his face, seemed to be flirting in response.

"Aw, poor little Cody doesn't have a partner," a mocking voice said from behind me, causing me to jump.

I spun around; Heather was standing there, filing her nails as she leaned against the cabin. I scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just occurred to me---since we voted DJ off, you're the only guy still here who doesn't have a girlfriend." She snickered, letting her eyes wander across the field at the others. "I mean, if Smart-Ass, Delinquent and Home-School can all get dates, what's it say that you're still single?"

I felt my face heat up. "Well, you don't seem to have a boyfriend either," I snapped, trying to stay calm.

"Oh please. I could have any of you boys in a heartbeat if I wanted," she said, holding up her hand to admire her nails. "Frankly, I just don't like the selection."

And with that, she turned and sauntered away back towards the cabins. I frowned after her. "Hey, don't you have a bike to build?!"

"No thanks; unlike you, I have a partner," she shot back, not even turning around.

I frowned after her, quirking an eyebrow. Then I sighed and, hefting up my armful of equipment, headed off across the yard.

Cody: Stupid Heather. Where does she come off, making fun of me because I don't have a girlfriend? And like any of us guys would actually date her…granted, she is hot, but that's not enough to make up for the fact that she's mean as a snake. (crosses arms, looking away) Hmph…stupid Heather.

But, of course, she was right, I thought grimly, carrying the pile of equipment in my arms…I was the only guy left on the island without a girlfriend. And the only one left without someone to work on a bike with…

I walked around the side of the Arts and Crafts Center, looking at the ground---then jumped when I looked up, seeing the one other person working alone.

Lindsay.

A grin passed over my face. "Well, alrighty, then..."

JoeMerl: And that's Chapter One! And let me just say, whoo, this story is hard to write. Don't know how Winter-Rae and the Kobold Necromancer manage to pump out ten thousand words every couple of days...hopefully I can have Chapter Two edited and put up shortly, plus update some of my Invader Zim stuff before someone blows a gasket. ;-) Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and until next time, please leave a review!