Hi - I've wanted to write a darvey fic since they finally become canon I've promised myself to write if they ever come so here I am
The rays of sun were coming through the window of bedroom warming the room itself and their bare bodies that half covered with sheets. Quiet sounds of peace was in a sync with their slow and steady heartbeats.
Harvey couldn't remember any moment in his life that he could taste such a pure happiness, to be this close to it. Not even the other time; there was many unknown back then, they were naive and young, had no damn idea what this might mean, what the thing between can become. He let the fear rule him for a very long time, for years.
He willing to let the fear to control him, make the rules for both of their sakes, drew the lines. It was both easier and hardest part of life. Always having her around, making decisions with her, letting her in like he did no one else, giving and sharing credits of his success with her but not the heart, though it did belong to her, always were, since the moment they had met at that bar.
But he does now, now he did and it was all that mattered. Now he was holding the woman he loves in his arms, he knew this was it. She was it and he didn't plan to lose her ever again.
He shook his head softly, a small chuckle on his lips, careful to not to wake her up; he was probably the biggest idiot in New York if not the planet. He wasted too many years, his cowardice cost many years to him, to them.
Thirteen years. Thirfuckingteen years. The things they could have, done. He closed his eyes for a moment and dreamed a little girl with bright strawberry hairs with his eyes and the smile of the woman he loves; he sighed heavily, focusing on useless things, on what he couldn't change wasn't going to do any good for them. He didn't even wanted to have a tiny shades of regret on his mind or heart though it was about the past now they were here.
He pulled her closer to himself, hugging tightly from behind, feeling her bare back on his chest. He wanted her to wake up soon so he could feel her all over again. So he could expose her again and again. Make her his forever.
He digged her nose into her hairs, taking a good sniff of her dazzling scent, making his lungs full of it. How much he loved this, how much his heart was at ease, finally made the longing and ache stop and come to an end - more like a beginning.
"Wake up, darling." Harvey whispered softly i to her hair, close to her ears but not quite. He did, really did wanted to let her sleep. It was obvious he was exhausted, needed her rest. When he thought about the past a few days and how wasn't going easy on her last night as well - though she didn't complain at all.- he couldn't blame her.
Donna groaned slightly and dig her head into her pillows harder - not a morning person, a gentle smile has formed on his lips, it wasn't a shocking news but still the other time he wasn't around to have this with her. A morning with her, though he had all the time with her from now.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty." His tone was even softer on her ears. Donna made no move to change her position, just tighten her grip on his hands that now rest on her waist.
He began to kiss on her hair softly, nuzzling, going down as kissing and nipping her ears, his mouth has meet with bite marks and hickey he has left. He could feel Donna was wide awake now that her mouth has left a sweet moan as he kept his assault on her skin.
As he lowered himself on her breast, taking her right one into his mouth, Donna moaned his name in a way that Harvey just longed for push himself back to her warmth, to inside her where he felt happiest.
"Har-vey," Donna cried out his name as his hands were all over her, feeling her skin, heating up her entire body.
"Shhh." His fingers found its way to her center, slipping one into, feeling her heat, her insides were tightening around. Her moans were getting louder as his continued the act. Losing herself to the pleasure Harvey were bringing her.
His mouth was still on her skin, he couldn't stop himself from tasting her delicious lips, breasts, flat stomach, her freckles. Just her.
As she cried his name loud as she never done as she came through his fingers. A very pleasant smile on his lips, she opened her beautiful eyes and finally meet with his gaze while he licked his fingers, tasting her juices again and again.
"Hey," Donna said softly, her smile genuine and big but still were clouded with its pleasure and the worries about what's ahead of them.
"Hey." Harvey's tone was gentle as ever, he lowered himself on her lips again, stealing a kiss before getting out of the bed."Breakfast?" He asked without taking his eyes of her.
"Sure," she watched as he got out of bed and pulled back his boxer that was lying on the floor. "Are you going to prepare?" She raised an eyebrow dramatically.
"Yeah," he took his shirt from the coach Donna threw last night after ripping out of him, it was missing a few buttons, a cocky smile never lost on him as he threw it to her. "Come on, get up."
He walked out the room as he heard the noise sheets were making. The house were looking much different than he last time he was here. He remembered Donna mentioning making a few change but it was looking like a completely different one.
Realizing how much he has missing those past months, almost years were breaking his heart. Since his relationship with Paula there was a coldness they couldn't pass. They did try to bring back their old, innocent, harmless friendship but once they did cross the forbidden line it was impossible to back to old, play the naive act.
He went to kitchen as he began to prepare breakfast. It didn't took much for him to found where to found things he needed tough he wasn't familiar with her kitchen. As soon as the aroma filled the house he has seen Donna standing next to door. Bare foot and in nothing but his shirt.
What a sight it was. He wished, prayed for more days like this - for the rest of his life if it's possible. "I hope pancakes are fine with you." He pour a cup of coffee she was eyeing longingly and handed her.
"Thank you," she placed a soft kiss on his lips as she took the cup from his hands, her fingers playfully touched his before breaking the contact. "And yes, it's more than fine."
"Then let's eat, shall we?" He asked, he could see Donna wasn't letting herself fully enjoy with the moment, not until they had the talk and clear everything between them.
If Harvey has to admit, he was afraid of where this talk might take them, what kind of closed subject might come alive, but the only thing he knew for sure; he wasn't going to back off, wasn't going to run away, from her, from them ever again.
He didn't wanted to watch as her slipping away from his hands, moving on with someone else though that person was better for her, though that person was without weight of past as its baggage. He wasn't going to let her go, not without a fight for her, not without speaking his feelings out.
"Hey, it's going to be okay," Harvey's tone was so loving that it almost bought Donna to tears. He gently took her hands into his. "Let's just eat and then we will talk, about everything." He promised her.
They quietly eat their breakfast that no one of them could speak up, no words could come out form their mouths that might harm their morning. They both wanted to have this moment to themselves before opening up about what they were holding all this time, about about the hurt they were pushing into deepest parts.
"I -" Donna break the pregnant silence as her shaking voice echoed in the room. "When you finally told me P-Paula, I honestly didn't know what to do, you hit me pretty hard with that once I didn't see coming. It's probably why it hurt so much more than anything, more than Zoe, or Scottie, or anyone else for the matter."
A humorless laugh covered her lips and his heart ache to make it better. Take the pain away from her. He wanted to speak up the right words but he knew he has to let her speak, make her release her hidden thoughts.
"I wanted to be happy for you, I was happy for you. Please you do believe that, I never waned to take that from you. You did, you do deserve happiness Harvey. Even if it's not with me. Even if it meant I had to cut our ties for the sake of your relationship." She sighed heavily, even with months has been past since then the feelings still hard to remember.
"It's just made me realize how I was always. Always putting you before myself, that your needs come first. I know you never asked for it, you would never. It was something I did myself, I put you the middle of my life for so long that I felt completely lost without it. That's why I kissed you. I had to know if it was because of my feelings towards you or if I was protecting myself from men using you as the excuse. The answer made the things worse but I finally did knew I couldn't live like that more." This part probably was going to be the most painful of all happened that time.
"When Stu come with that offer, I did think about it you know. I felt like it might be what I needed to do. For the both of us, for our sake, but then I understood it was your doing, I feel betrayed, cheated. It felt like all the trust and friendship we had built trough years felt like nothing, meant nothing." Her eyes were filled tears, recalling the look in Stu's eyes.
Harvey knew he was going to regret that call the moment he has done for the rest of his life, the hurt he was seeing in her eyes, and knowing he did cause this was enough to make him hate himself. No words could make it better, it was a mistake he had to live with.
"Then I took the action, getting you out the trouble I've caused. I hope you know I wouldn't blame you, I wouldn't hate you, if you did choose her over me. I knew it was getting serious, I know you actually, really cared about her and wanted it to work. It would hard but Harvey if you were going to be happy in the end if would be worth." Harvey sighed, he were so blind to her feelings, her hurt, her pain, he couldn't believe what a big idiot he was.
He swore to make this woman happiest if she would allow him, if this talk would end good for them.