I wrote and published this story on the UAChuck&Blair italian forum after the episode 3x12, on New Years's Eve.
I don't know how this story came to my mind, but it's been a hard job for me, to put it down into words and transform it into this shot. It's a very deep and emotional story.
I hope you're going to like it, and please, let me know what you think about it!
HISTORY REPEATING:
I'll be on your grave 'till my final days
"Stop staring at that girl Bass, it's a funeral"
"Do you think I care about the defunct Mrs. Thompson?"
"This is not a legit reason to pick up at a funeral"
"Why are you so interested in me? Where's your lovely Nathaniel?"
"A: I don't care about you. B:Nate is speaking with his grandfather. C: a funeral is a sacred thing. Pay respect to the poor Mrs. Thompson"
"So... do you tell me... what was the most beautiful thing you remember about Mrs. Thompson?"
"Fine! Nothing! But it doesn't mean you can't behave"
"I have no respect for an head mistress who expelled me 4 times in a month"
"She's dead"
"Yes, and I'm alive"
"Chuck Bass, you're a boor and you'll rot in hell"
"There's nothing I'd love more... But don't be too worried Waldorf. I promise that at your funeral I'll behave"
"I'm quite certain about it, since you'll be old, whiskered, lame and you won't be able to put together neither 3 words in the same sentence"
"We're all here together, in the presence of The Lord, to consign you the soul of our beloved Blair Cornelia Waldorf Bass"
"Stop it Chuck! I don't wanna hear this story anymore"
"Are you scared Blair?"
"Me? Scared by ghosts? You're forgetting who're talking to"
"You're afraid of ghost!" the 6 years old Chuck Bass teased her.
"You Know something Chuck? If I were you, I'd be scared, because when I'll die, my ghost will hunt you down for the rest of your life"
Serena's hand tightened the hold of his own hand. A black veil covered her long blonde hair. She had taken his hand when they had left his limousine and she had accompanied him till the family crypt.
He couldn't remember how much he had drunk, but he had to be there to greet the love of his life for the last time. He had to dress properly and behave. It was what he had promised her, what he would have done.
"Blair was a strong woman, full of courage and will to live…" Erick spoke.
To live...
"Chuck, the doctor said that there's nothing left to do. We have to let him go" the seventeen years old Chuck Bass stared at his father in his hospital bed.
It was the last time he could see him.
He couldn't bare it.
He run away.
"Why all the others kids have a mother while I don't?" Bart Bass looked at his 3 years old son. He was expecting that question, but he had never thought about the answer.
"Because your mother is dead" he replied, closing his heart to him.
"What is the death?" The knot of Bart tie tightened. He wasn't ready for that conversation, not yet.
"It's when the heart stops beating and you can't breathe anymore"
"And When did mom's heart stop beating?" Bart Bass took a deep breath. He wasn't ready.
"When you were born" he couldn't control the disdain in his own words.
"Mr. Bass, some complications had occurred"
"You said that the delivery went good, the baby is fine!"
"Yeah, The delivery went fine and your wife was fine"
"Was? What does it means? Where's Blair?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Bass but your wife didn't make it"
"No... It's not possible. My wife was fine!"
"Chuck.." Nate's hand touched his shoulder.
"Mr. Bass.."
"I told you, I want to see my wife now!" he shouted
"If anyone tried to get at you, she defended you with her armor and hunted out the enemies. She was always ready to support you, to help you resolve your problems and mistakes.."
"I see you're wearing your beret. Who are we spying on tonight?"
"Serena's shady Southerner."
"Well I can't say he does much for me either."
"She was always beautiful. The most charming Queen of the Constance"
"Well you look ravishing. If I were your man, I wouldn't need clues to find you."
"You were amazing up there..." the limo speeded on the street. Blair had just danced for him at Victrola.
She was amazing.
"Her stubborn ways and her initiative let her enter in the lives of whoever was around her. It leaded her to conquer the heart of ones she cared about the most. She has never given up on them"
"Stop! Don't go, or if you have to leave let me come with you."
"I appreciate your concern."
"No, you don't. You don't appreciate anything today, but I don't care. Whatever you're going through, I wanna be there for you."
"We've talked about this. You are not my girlfriend."
"No. But I am me, and you are you. We're Chuck and Blair...Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever did, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you though anything."
"And why would you do that?"
"Because I love you."
"That's too bad."
"She wiped out her self-esteem to stand by their side"
"Gossip Girl can be wrong about you all she wants. But I won't let her be right about me. I will not be weak anymore. You can't run, you have to stay here, and hear it this time. Chuck Bass, I love you. I love you so much, it consumes me. I love you. I want to be right, tell me you love me. Everything we've done, all the gossip and the lies and the hurt, will have been for something. Tell me it was for something"
"Maybe it was, but it's not anymore"
"And she tied them to her, making them grew up"
"You were right. I was a coward running away again, but everywhere I went, you caught up with me. So I had to come back."
"I want to believe you, but I can't. You hurt me too many times."
"You can believe me this time"
" That's it?"
"I love you too"
"Why?"
"Because I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass".
"And What About the La table Elitaire?"
"What about them. I believe in you. And if this is what it takes for you to believe in you, then it's worth it"
"They think I've lost my mind"
"Have you?"
"No"
"Then How can you be so sure?"
"Because you believe in me"
"You're not like that anymore. You're strong. You carry people. You carry me. You're becoming a man in a way that your father never was."
"She's been a present, sincere and sensible wife. She wanted that baby so much. She wanted her because she loved Chuck more than she loved herself. She was the fruit of their love. She gave her own life to give her baby this world"
"Chuck there's something I need to tell you" She entered his office running in his arms without caring about his board meeting.
"Blair, can we do it later. I'm busy at the moment"
"Fine, daddy" And his own life was full of joy. He embraced her and lifted her up. After months of attempts to have a baby, their prays had been answered.
"I don't know how much these words can value, but I promise her that we'll do anything in our power to make this baby grow up healthy and wonderful like her. We'll remind her everyday who was her mother and what she meant to us. Blair, you don't know how much we'll miss you" Eric voice was broken by the tears.
"Chuck I want you to promise me something"
"Save your energies, Blair"
"No Chuck! Promise me that whatever happens.."
"Don't say it, Blair"
"Chuck, promise me that you'll raise Evelyn, loving and spoiling her, as you did with me"
"Blair stop talking nonsense"
"Chuck, promise! Promise me that she won't ever grow up like us, that you'll always be there for her, bringing her to school and reading her tales"
"I promise" he felt a knot in his throat.
Why did that conversation sound like if it was the last one?
Why all that he could feel was the wish to hold her close and never let her go?
Why did he feel that it wasn't just a precautionary promise but her own will?
Why did he lack of air and his heart was crying?
"Chuck you'll be the most amazing father in the whole world" He could read sufferance in her eyes. Her fawn eyes were sad, like if they knew that they would have closed for the last time.
"And you'll be the sexist and most incredible mom of the world" She deeply looked at him as she wanted to print that image forever in her memory.
"I love you Chuck" it was their last kiss.
He wasn't allowed to the caesarean section.
Rain had fallen during the all ceremony.
The priest had read the preaching and then it had been his own moment.
While the strong arms of Nate and Serena supported his weight, he had lowered down and had touched her coffin for the last time.
He had brought her peonies, they were her favorite flowers.
"Hey, do you mind if I stay?"
"Yes. But that's why I love you." He watched her getting into the limo. He gently closed her door and stare at her, leaving smiling behind the black window of their car.
"I won't come to the reception"
"Chuck, please, attend at least 5 minutes" Serena suggested him. The limo had just left the cemetery.
They had to lift him up with strength to take him away. It had been agonizing.
They knew how strong him and Blair were tied. They knew that it was the nth infamous destiny's hit for him. Watching him like this, destabilized everyone.
"I said I won't" those were his last words.
They left him outside of his building, following him with their gaze while, lack of life, he entered it.
They had thought they had lost him too, a few days before.
After mourning Blair's body, he had refused to see Evelyn and disappeared.
They had found him 12 hours later on the Victrola's roof, drunk and ready to follow Blair.
"I wanted to greet you Nathaniel, but I had no time"
"Chuck , please, don't do anything stupid"
"You know Nathaniel, I think it'd be the less stupid thing of my life"
"I know you're shocked but"
"Shocked? I'm shocked? Have you any kind of idea, Nathaniel, of what it means losing everything? Do you know what does it mean, waking up in your bed knowing that she won't ever be there anymore? Do you understand that in a few days her pillow won't hold her perfume anymore? It'll be like she hadn't ever been there. I'll be left with my memories and her clothes in the closet but she won't be there"
Nate didn't reply, because he didn't know what to say.
"And don't even think to tell me all those craps about how life goes on…that I have to survive for her. She was my life. She left, so I've already died with her"
"It's not true Chuck! Your life is right here, in front of you" the broken voice was Serena's, who was holding in her arms a white bundle where he could see a tiny hand.
Chuck identified it immediately.
His heart ached.
"No one cares!"
"I do! don't you understand? I don't want you going anywhere! I couldn't bare it!"
"Chuck you have a wonderful baby who needs her father. A girl who'll grow without a mother. Do you really want to deprive her of her father too?"
"I want you to take care of her. I don't know what to do.. I don't."
"You don't what? Stop it now! Blair loved that baby as much as she loved you and if she was the one on that ledge we both know what she'd do. I know it won't be easy, but we'll help you..."
The baby started crying loudly as if she had realized some sort of danger.
Chuck thought she had a sharp voice, like her mother.
"Please Chuck, do whatever you want to yourself, but don't do this to me!"
"Please Chuck, live to remind you daughter who Blair was and how much you loved her" Serena stared at her, careless of the baby's cry, while Nate showed his hand to Chuck ready to catch him.
He had promised Blair that he wouldn't have been like his own father. He had promised her that he would have taken care of her. Blair had given him the best gift ever. He would have found his Blair again in the eyes and in the smile of their baby. He would have raised and loved her as the most precious and delicate thing that he had ever had in his hands.
Chuck took Nate's hand and climbed down the ledge.
Nate held him with strength. He had worried about him. He knew that the road was hard, but he would have stayed by his side, it was his promise to Blair.
Chuck stepped back and walked slowly toward Serena.
The little Evelyn was kicking and shouting at the top of her voice.
He stared at her for the first time in days. She was utterly beautiful. A little princess. Tiny, with the snow white skin and the precious features of her mother. She had the same nose and lips.
He tenderly took her in his arms while the tears filled his eyes. He had never seen something so perfect and alive in his own life.
When the baby felt the warmth of her father's arms, stop crying and nuzzled against him.
He didn't know what and how to do it. He didn't know how to face the future but one thing was clear. Blair hadn't abandon him, she had left him the thing she had whished the most, what they had created.
He leaned close to her little head and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I'm sorry. Daddy won't leave you anymore"
Serena and Nate held each other for support.
When he arrived home he went directly to Evelyn's room.
Lily sat next to her crib.
"Charles, you're here. The baby is fine. She ate an hour ago. She's an angel"
"Thank you Lily"
"If you want I can stay a little bit more so you can rest"
"No. I'll do it on my own. I'll call you if I need you"
When she left his home, he was on the rocking chair and Evelyn was tightening his finger, sleeping peacefully.
10 MONTHS LATER
"Charles I understand that taking care of the baby is demanding, but you can't come to the office whenever you want only to disappear again for entire weeks"
"Lily I don't care about the Bass Ind."
"Don't be silly Chuck! You know better than me how much you like your job. You've worked hard to release yourself from your father's name. You can't just give up on everything, especially now that you've made it a leading company of the sector"
"I had different priorities, before. Now I've Evelyn"
"Listen Charles, I know what does it mean to have children"
"Really? I don't think that Eric and Serena are on the same opinion"
"Charles, I know I wasn't a parent as good or present as you, but I'm not here to hear your moral"
"And I don't accept advices about how to raise up my daughter from you"
Lily left the room without hesitations.
"Chuck, don't you think you've gone too far with my mom?"
"I don't intend to start that argument, all over again, Eric"
"I know Chuck, but being here with Eve all the day, every day, doesn't help"
"Eric, I appreciate that you come here every day and that you care about us, but we are both fine"
"No, you are not! I can only imagine how painful it is for you, being without her. I know how strenuous is doing everything alone and want to be there for her every single moment, but don't you think that you're becoming a little bit pathological? Eve is growing every day and she'll start being independent. She'll want to meet people and go out. What will you do then?"
"I'll think about it when It'll be the time"
"Chuck you've build a company and you are an amazing father. Eve is not going to leave you and you're not abandoning her while you're at work. You're just having your own spaces that will fit with hers"
"I don't want a baby sitter"
"Who has talked about a baby sitter? Lily, Eleanor, Cyrus and Harold would fight to decide who has to take Eve and for how long. Not to talk about her incredible uncles and her aunt that know how to change her diapers, feed her and taking her to the park"
"I don't know.."
"Yes, you do, Chuck. She loves you unconditionally, regardless all the hours she spend with you. Don't be too possessive and let us help you because we're not doing it for pity. We care about you and we all love Eve so much, we just want to enjoying her too"
He entered the old Van der Bass penthouse. Lily lied on the sofa, sipping her coffee.
"The market index are terrible, I believe we need to buy the building on the 15th"
Lily turned to see Chuck who was holding the baby Eve. She was lovely. The brown Blair's rolled hair and his caramel eyes.
When the baby saw her grandmother, she smiled at her. Lily couldn't control herself. She stood up and went to take her up in her arms.
"I want to apologize for what I said to you..." he whispered. He was not good at apologizing.
"You were right Charles, I've never been a real mother" The baby took her thumb in her hand, and looked at her father with a shining smile.
"I've decided to come back at the office and work for Eve. One day it'll be all hers and I want her to be the richest one"
"She already is the richest one... she has you" Chuck lowered his gaze. It wasn't enough. She didn't have Blair.
"Can you take her today?"
Lily looked at the baby, then at Chuck with happiness.
"Oh Charles, you know that I was waiting to hear it from you..." And she talked to the baby. "Have you hear your daddy? Today you'll stay with your grandma Lily while he's at work!"
"Thank you Lily... You'll find everything in her bag, the clothes and the food... For anything you just have to call the office and I'll be back in a few minutes"
"Don't be worried Charles. I Haven't been a present mother, but I've raised 3 wonderful guys, don't you agree?" Chuck didn't answer.
"I'll pick her up at 18"
It was noon and it had been 3 hours since he had left Eve to Lily. He missed her and lived every single meeting, staring at the phone, trapped by the need to know if she was fine and the anxiety of a possible emergency call.
Drin Drin.
At the second ring he answered.
"Don't tell me, you were staring at the phone?"
"What the hell do you have in mind Serena? I'm at my desk waiting for a business call"
"Of course..." She didn't believe him. "I'm just calling to tell you that everything is fine. Today I don't work so I came here to see mom and Eve, who were playing with Gatto".
Gatto was a cat penuche that he had brought Eve and called like the Tiffany's.
"Has she eaten?"
"Yes and now she taking a nap"
"Is everything fine, right?" he took a relief breath. Being away from her made him claustrophobic.
"Chuck, You have a wonderful baby! Everything is fine! I'll see you for dinner, bye!"
It entered the van der Bass apartment at 17:59.
He was tired. Used to the baby rhymes, he had lost the work routine and the patience to anyone who asked him what to do and how. He would have fired many of them in the next few weeks. He only worked with the best.
When he entered he was assaulted by Serena.
"Chuck, how was at the office?"
"Stressful day"
"Chuck, man, I knew that my little nephew was here so I came for a while"
"Fine Nate, now if you could excuse me..."
He made street between them. He hadn't seen Eve for an entire day and he had almost reached the aggravation.
She was with Eric who was making her doing the plain. She was happily smiling at him.
She adored uncle Eric, who basically lived with them, like Serena and Nate. When they finished working they all stopped by at Chuck's and played with Eve and brought him company for dinner.
And Eric, had a very special place in Eve's heart. Every time she saw him, she started smile at him.
With Nate she got bored immediately because he kept on kissing her and telling her how beautiful she was.
Serena was her nightmare. She kept on bringing bags full of clothes and she played dressing her up in continuation.
When the baby saw Chuck, she started kicking. Her eyes shined and she stated to say all the happy sounds she usually sais when he was there. By the time he was next to her she opened wide her arms to him.
"Da..da.. ." Chuck's eyes softened.
He suddenly took her in his arms, holding her close.
The silence filled the room.
It was her very first word.
Dada.
"I know that I've been here this morning, but today something wonderful happened and I couldn't wait to tell you.."
He stopped for a second trying to control his emotions.
"Today she said her first word. She called me dada!"
"I've always thought she would have said mama and I wouldn't have been able to fill that gap... but she said dad instead..." he paused for a second.
"Today, I started working again. I'm back at the office and I've already laid my eyes on a new building... I had to fire tons of employee, you have no idea how much incompetent they are.."
"It's been strange being apart from her all day long, but in the end it was worth it"
"You should see her. She's beautiful... When she wakes up, she starts looking at me and when I open my eyes she smiles..."
"She looks like you... She has your nose, ... your lips, ...your skin"
"God, Blair, how much I miss you... It's been 10 months and..."
"It's difficult looking at her and know that, sooner or later, she'll ask me about you" Chuck took a deep breath.
"I have to go now, She's home with Dorota, who came back tonight. Her mother's dead and she had decided to raise up Eve, as she did with you. I'm really glad about it..."
"I love you so much, I'll be back soon"
He stood up and stared at his wife's gravestone, then with brisk pace he reached the cemetery exit.
For many years it had been a narrow place for him. In those 10 months it had become his house. He went there every day with peonies and he told her about Eve and how life was difficult without her.
Beside Lily, Eleanor and the park, it had been his only out after her death.
Since that day his life would have been quite busy again, but he wouldn't have stopped to pay her visit.
He would have never stopped bringing fresh peonies to his Blair.
3 YEARS and HALF, LATER
"Daddy why is mommy gone?"
Little Eve sat on the chair of her nursery and was serving her daddy his coffee.
Chuck paled. It wasn't the first time she asked him it, but he was never ready to give her the answer.
Wasn't she still too young to know it? Or the truth was that it was too soon for him to open up on their loss?
He hadn't realized that he had lowered his gaze to the floor, but Eve did. She sensed everything, all his emotions, all his mood changings, she could read though every line of his face.
"Daddy, are you sad?" he suddenly put his eyes into hers.
She was worryingly staring at him, with her big eyes wide opened.
He couldn't lie to her. She would have understood it and started with tons of questions to unmask him. It was her question's phase. She asked 3000 question a day and never stopped chatting.
"Just a little" he let the word slip out of his mouth.
"Daddy, Why are you sad?"
He gave her his hand to invite her close, then he took her up and let her sit on his legs.
"Look Eve.. mommy is died 3 years ago" his stomach was burning. He hated accosting Blair's name to the word death.
"So she is in the sky with Bambi's mother?"
Chuck opened his eyes wide. He had never allowed her to watch that movie as he hated that part. When he was himself a kid he couldn't watch it. It was like he could feel the same way as the lonely Bambi. It was like him. Like Eve. He lost his mother too.
"When have you watched it?"
"To weeks ago with uncle Nate. Uncle Nate say I'm beautiful as Bambi, but more beautiful than Ariel"
She loved watching The Little Mermaid. Every time Eric arrived home, they watched that movie and at the end, they played being under the see. She was Ariel and Eric was forced to play Sebastian and sing 'Under the see'. She even scolded him on the French pronunciation.
He, instead, was the prince, her prince. The memory made him smile, but soon it vanished on his face.
"Yes princess... mommy is in the sky and look at us from up there...". Chuck didn't know how to do it without difficulties.
He didn't want it to be like with Bart. He had said in his face that his mother was dead giving birth to him. He had said to him that he was his guilt. He didn't want that Eve felt the same.
"Do you miss mommy?" His daughter's question surprised him.
He had made everything in his power to always look happy and domestic with her. Only when she was sleeping, he closed himself in his room and stayed hours contemplating Blair's clothes in the closet. When the baby was sleeping out with her grandparents he used to drink so much till losing his own senses .
His eyes watered but he stopped the tears from falling.
"Every day" he admitted. The baby took his hand in hers.
"Do you miss her too?" he asked her slowly with the fear to hear her reply.
"All my friends have a mommy who bring them to kindergarten and buy them dresses. I have grandma Lily and Grandpa Eleanor and Cyrus and Harold. They pick me up and bring me to the park. Aunt Serena buy me bags and shoes. I don't buy dresses. Grandma Eleanor draws them for me. I'm more lucky. And uncle Nate buys me chocolate in secret".
Chuck became upset.
"Ops I couldn't say it!" the baby smiled innocently.
"And uncle Eric" she proceeded "he always play with me.. and Dorota who clean me and cook biscuits for me.. and I have the beutifulest daddy in the all world. My friends don't have a prince this beautifulest".
Chuck couldn't stop from holding her tight. He adored her. Everyone did.
"Daddy, where are we going?".
They were getting out of the limo, parked into the cemetery, right in front of the Bass family crypt. Chuck took her little hand in his and guided he towards her mother.
"We're visiting mommy"
"Why are we here if she's in the sky?"
His daughter was really clever, he thought.
"Because, when someone dies... his soul goes in the sky, while his body stays here, so we can pay a visit"
"What's soul daddy?". It was an hard question to answer.
"It's... the most beautiful thing we have, which helps us to love who is around us.
"Do I have a soul?" she was curious. He picked her up in his arms.
"Of course my princess. You have the most shining soul I've ever seen".
The baby giggled with her arms tight around his neck. She smiled while leaning her head on his shoulder.
It was a matter of a while, before they reached Blair's gravestone with her picture.
"Here is where mommy sleeps" he explained her.
"What beautiful flowers!" Eve seemed enchanted. Fresh pink peonies decorated the marble, next to her mother's picture.
"Do you like them?" he asked surprised. Since Blair had died, he had never put peonies at home, just next her, in the cemetery, so Eve had never seen them.
"Lot. Can you buy it for me?" She had her mother's tastes. His heart started beating faster.
"Anything you want princess" he smiled at her. He would have never disappoint her.
They stayed there for a while and Eve fell asleep on his shoulder.
"Kitten, have you seen? I've told you, she was beautiful"
"You'd have to see her, while she fights with Serena, telling her that she can't match colors! Or how fast she gets bored when Nate try to do the mime or tell her jokes.."
Chuck was smiling with proud. He loved his baby girl with all himself.
"I adore her…when I have to go to the office and leave her, she hold a grudge against me...she's like you... the same enterprising and independent ways.. the same stubbornness... She has your smile too..." he softened.
"She has your rolls. Dorota wanted to cut them, but I stopped her. I love those soft brown rolls, and their effect on her mellow skin" he automatically caressed his daughter's head. She made a content sound but she kept on sleeping.
"Now she had entered the question phase... she speaks for hours... you'd have to hear her..."
"Today she asked me about you, that's why we're here. I don't want that she doesn't see her mother or that she doesn't know where she is" The baby stretched a bit.
"Can we go home daddy?" she asked with her sweet voice. He couldn't stop but smile at her and agree.
"Yes, now I greet you mommy and we leave" At those words the baby leaned back her head on his shoulder. Chuck printed a kiss on her forehead. She was burned out.
"I guess she need her bed... I'll be back soon" he whispered to Blair, rocking their baby in his arms.
FIRST SCHOOL DAY
"Good morning kitten... I know that I usually come at night, but today is a very special day!" he leaned on her gravestone to change the flowers.
"Today I've accompanied Eve at school for the first time" he put new peonies in the vase.
"You have no idea how good she looked in her uniform. I 've bought it a red headband with a huge lateral bow that matches with her tie... She was perfect..." He nodded to emphasize his feeling.
"You don't know what I found out today... Dan Humphrey's son is at school with her... I can't still believe it! Some people shouldn't be admitted..."
"But Eve is so lovely... Do you know what she said to him when she had found out he came from Brooklyn?" he smirked " 'are you sure it does exists? I've travelled around the world with my daddy, but I've never heard about this oklyn" Chuck couldn't contain his laugh.
"What a character she has! She has already her group of minions... Whenever she says something they are there to obey..."
"There's something evil in her that remind me me of both of us.."
His phone rang.
"I'm sorry, I have to go. Tomorrow night we'll hold the annual homeless gala event. It's not like your parties but Lily is doing her best to honor you..."
"I'll be back soon my love"
EVE'S ELEVENTH BIRTHDAY
"Dad, the pool party was amazing. At school they'll envy me! No one has ever had a pool birthday party in December!"
"Anything for my princess"
"And something beautiful happened"
His daughter's loving eyes made him anxious. It remembered him the way Blair behave toward Nate.
Eric, who was silent, sensed it.
"John kissed me!" she yelled full of joy.
"Oh my god, this is wonderful Eve" Serena jumped up from the chair and hugged her tight.
Eric coughed staring at Chuck, whose jaw was tight and the first hidden on the sofa.
That ass of an Humphrey would have paid it. No one could have touched his princess without his own will. He would have made him expulse from the school, or better, be threatened by some hooligans.
"Aunt Serena, it's been so amazing... he's so sweet... the best kiss of my life..."
"I have an idea" Eric interrupted them, knowing that Chuck was a vulcano ready to erupt. "Why don't you go upstairs ladies? I need to talk to Chuck".
Eve ran in Chuck's arms and throw her arms around his neck.
"It's been the best birthday ever! And it's all because of you, daddy!" She kissed him soundly on his cheek and left him there, following Serena up the stairs.
When she was out of sight Chuck exploded.
He stood up to the mini bar and brought a bottle of scotch. He desperately needed it, but Nate took it away from his hands.
"Nate, I'm not 2, anymore" he admonished.
"Chuck is good that she's this happy " Nate tried to reason.
"Is it normal that my eleven years old daughter kiss Humphrey's son?" He asked with fury.
Eric hold his laugh. He knew that Chuck had never liked Dan. I was unbelievable that Dan's son could be Eve's first love.
"You've lost your virginity with Georgina at the same age"
"I was a boy"
"And she is a girl who, in a few years, will go to the Constance and be introduced in society" Nate explained.
"Nate spare my brain with your shining theories. By the way, I've decided, I'll send her in an European college" he was serious.
"Chuck" Eric spoke. He knew exactly where the real problem was. "We all know that your only love after Blair is Eve, but you can prevent her from living her own life"
"I'm not doing it. I'm just giving her a better education"
"And what you going to do, being apart from her?"
"I'll move in with her" it made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.
"Ok, Chuck. The fact that she's starting hanging out with boys doesn't mean that she doesn't love you anymore..." Chuck tightened his jaw. Eric had got him.
"I can't lose her too" he whispered staring out of the window.
"You won't Chuck! You're the most important person to her. Now she'll need you more than ever, when she'll be back home crying for a breakup"
"I'll be his worst nightmare" The only thought made him look like a killer.
"No, it's her life Chuck. You'll just have to stand by her side, but you won't chose for her"
"Of course I can. I'm her father!"
"You couldn't" Nate specified. "Man, she's like you. She doesn't listen, She use her own mind"
"Then she won't go out until I'll say it"
"We both know that you won't do it, You've never been able to say her no to anything"
"Damn it" he scolded himself.
He had become weak. The women of his life had weakened him. He needed Blair next him, She would have known what to do.
"Chuck, have faith in her. She'll need you. I seriously think that she'll have tons of difficulties to find her right one, because the comparison to you will be almost unreachable"
Chuck sipped the liquid of scotch from the only glass Nate had conceded him.
Fuck, he felt like a prisoner in his own house.
"Can you believe it? He kissed her! That Humphrey insect kissed her!"
"I'd like to go there to remind him that he had to forget her once and for all and send his father to the
other side of the planet!"
He stopped for a second to stare at her picture. He loved that picture. He had taken it at Serena's party when Blair had just told him that she was pregnant. She was radiant.
"It's not easy Blair... tell your own child how life works. She'd need a mother who'd brushes her hair and listen to her dreams... she'd need a mother who'd bring her out for shopping and give her advices about how to live her first crushes. What do I know about crushes? When I was her age I lost my virginity to that bitch! I didn't thought to behave like a prince then, I usually spent hours staring at my nanny's back and chest and I drank, hidden in the Captain Archibald cellar"
"She needs a prince, someone intelligent, perfect.. someone like... someone who's not like me"
"How could you choose someone like me Blair? I've always been a stupid child"
"I don't know what can I do if I'll see her cry for an ass like me... what I'd do if she won't come back at night... If I'd find her with a bottle of alcohol in her hand"
"God.. Blair... You don't know how much I need you"
EVE SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY
"It's been seventeenth years..."
"Today Eve is a step away from being an adult, but to me she's still a little baby... my fragile flower..."
"But she's strong... you can't imagine how much Blair... She's the queen of the Constance, she knows how to behave and she walk with her head held high..."
"Sometimes I can't even think she's just 17... in some kind of ways she's more mature than me.."
"I organized for her a big party, but those days she's a little agitated"
"I think that she's over with John"
"You've no idea how happy I am about it... but at the same time I'm quite worried about her intimacy with Dorota's son... They've grown up together in a strange influence... one moment they insult each other, the moment later they're plotting together... He's a type, but he really cares about her, he's always by her side and there to protect her..."
"He remember me something" he shyly smiled.
17 years old.
"I still have a vivid memory of your seventeenth birthday Blair" he smirked.
"God Blair... you were amazing up there. It was then that I understood that you'd be mine forever. Nate had never understood you, the fire you had inside, and the fragilities you hided in your courage"
"I thought it was the time to give Eve your Erickson Beamon... I bought you thousands of more expensive gift later, but that necklace had always had a special meaning to me. It represented our journey"
He was lost in his memories.
"I jealously preserved it during these years, knowing that one day it would have been hers" he smiled with deep and pure love.
"She looks more like you every day... I can't look at her without feeling something fluttering in my stomach.. She has your smile, your moods, yours poses, your tastes...Sometimes I feel like a seventeen years old again, but then I open my eyes and I realize that you're not here with me, to love her unconditionally the same way you loved me... It hurts so badly..."
He was nearly crying. It had been 17 years but the pain was always the same.
"I'm sorry" He composed himself "I'm a little sentimental these days. It's all your fault" he smirked.
"I just wanted to tell you about this day... " He glanced down at his trembling hands "Thank you Blair, for giving me the best days of my life"
"I will always love you..."
SNOWFLAKES BALL- EVE's 18th BIRTHDAY
"Mr Bass, I'm here to pick up your daughter"
Michael was in the living room with Dorota who was trying to adjust his bowtie.
He didn't listen to his mother. He was stubborn like a mule. With him, Chuck was always authoritative but he liked him.
There was something about him, that reminded him of himself.
He was nefarious and brilliant. He was attending his third year at the Economy course at Harvard and during the summer he worked with him at the Bass Ind. He was talentuos at business. But the thing that surprised him the most, was the sweetness he reserved for his daughter.
They were equal and sincere to each other, two strong characters, tied together by a deep knowledge and an intense feeling.
He was sure he was her right one, even if they needed more time to understand it.
"Here I am" Eve appeared at the top of the Bass Apartment stairs. She had a strip less long dress, her brown hair touching her shoulders and her mother's necklace.
Chuck had a flashback of the Christmas party of Blair's eighteenth. She was a wonderful and refined fairy. At the time he was scared to confess her how he felt toward her. He had been a coward. He should have taken every single moment that destiny had given them.
They had been interrupted by Lily. His father was dying.
A terrible peg in the heart hit him. That thought tightened and he lost his breath.
Impulsively he got closer to Eve and held her in his arms.
Eve threw her arms around his neck, as she was used since she was his little baby.
"You've given a meaning to my existence, princess. I love you so much, don't ever forget it" Eve shuddered at it. She could read sadness in his father words.
"Don't be too sentimental dad! It's just a ballet. You'll come later, right?" she asked him as if his presence was the most predictable thing in the world.
He stood silent, looking at the perfection of her face. He inhaled her perfume and smiled at her.
"Yes, I'll see you later"
He watched her leaving toward the elevator with Michael.
They would have had fun at the party. They would have bickered for a while, then he would have asked her to dance with him, because that was what they could have had, what life gives to us.
The time for a dance.
The time to meet each other, find each other, walked together, only to leave each other with the promise to meet up again later.
And she would have accepted. Because, if you love someone, you take every single chance you have and you live it hard, giving all yourself before it faded away.
"Is this the way you felt that day?" Chuck walked nervously back and forth, in front of Blair's gravestone.
"That knot in your through, the sense of sadness and awareness? Anger for the impossibility to change things?"
"And what about her? I Can accept everything, but not the pain she'll feel..."
He was tensely moving his hands in the air.
"I love her more than anything in this world. She doesn't deserve this destiny... she doesn't deserve our destiny Blair"
"It's been terrible, looking at her and knowing it, feeling it..."
He stopped walking, passing a hand in his uncombed hair.
"Watch over her Blair, stand by her, I beg you... She'll need you, more than ever...".
He deeply fixed her gravestone, than he tuned to leave.
"Before it's too late.." He stopped and looked at Blair's picture for one last time. "Next year she'll attend Yale... She desired it so much..." he announced her with a proud tiny smile.
"Have you seen Eve?" Serena was anxious.
Tears were pouring down her eyes. Nate approached her.
"Serena, What happened?" He was worried.
"Chuck had an accident on his way here..."
Nate felt it and lowered his gaze.
"He didn't make it"
My beautiful princess,
I knew that sooner or later, I had to leave you, but I've never though it could happen to fast.
A few minutes before, when I held you in my arms, I didn't want to leave you. I didn't want to abandon you. You're still so young and you still need me...
My life has always been a whirlwind of sufferance. I've grown up alone, without a mother, like you. My father had never looked after me, till the day he left me alone when I was at your age. I would have never survived without you mother.
You've asked me about her too many times, and I've always changed the subject or stopped during the tale.
I've always loved her, even when we insulted or ignored each other.
She was a tough nut. She wanted to be always right. I loved the way she bad mouthed me and pretended to be immune to my charm. But what I love the most about her, in addition to her beauty ( I adored her legs), was her stubbornness.
The more I pushed her away, the more she came back. I tried to tell her many time that I was the wrong one, that I couldn't love her the way she deserved, but she had never believed at my fears. She fought every single day to make me realize that I was just lying to myself.
I'm this man, just because of her.
She gave me her heart, her happiness, her soul... she gave me you.
When she died, I wanted to follow her, so for the second time in my life I ended up on a roof. If the first time she asked me to go back and don't kill her heart, the second time it had been you. Serena was holding you in her arms while you were crying.
I'm sorry for ever doubting my love for you. I thought that my life without her wasn't worth living. I was wrong. You gave it a meaning, you taught me how to raise up again, how to enjoy the unique moments a family can give you.
Those were the moments I wanted to share with your mother every day. I brought her peonies and I told her about your days. I did it every single day of these 18 years.
I know how much you had missed you mother, but I did everything I could, to give you my love and make you the happiest.
I don't know if it was enough, the only thing I know is that you brought me back a smile I thought I've never seen on my face.
It's been difficult, raising you up and finding her in you. You're like her, you have her features, her character, her energy, her intelligence, her beauty. Those are the reasons why I know that you'll be successful. You'll do great things in your life, you'll value every instant, you'll love unconditionally and learn from your mistakes.
I leave you everything. All my properties, my empire... my heart.
I know you'll manage it with intelligence, giving prestige to your own name and to our family.
Eric will be you legal tutor. He's been the second man, holding you in his arms. And you fell for him suddenly. He loves you more than anything, even if you forced him playing Sebastian for many years. He'll be a careful and present father for you. I would never entrust him my life, but your, because it worths much more.
Stand by uncle Nate and aunt Serena, they are the persons who cares about you the most. I know that sometimes they're a bit strange, but they are the most united family I have ever had. It was us, The Non Judging Breakfast Club. One for All, All for one.
They are your family since your fist day and they'll always be. They'll always be there for anything, tied and solid, anytime by your side.
Don't cry for me princess, I'm leaving you in safe hands.
You'll live your life enjoying it and adding value in everything you'll do and anyone you'll meet.
Your mommy and I will guide you from up there and we won't never stop from loving you with all our hearts.
I love you, my princess
Dad
This letter had been written a few hours before the accident.
Eve sat in the cemetery, in front of the family crypt.
Chuck was lying next to his Blair Waldorf. He had finally found back his soulmate.
A week had passed from that excruciating goodbye.
She would have missed him so much, but she would have never disappointed him.
She would have gone to Yale and then she would have ruled The Bass Empire with her uncle Eric.
Eve placed the peonies in the vase, she greeted them and left their gravestone.
Since that day on, she never stopped bringing fresh peonies to her parents.
They were her mother's favourite flowers and her father would have never allowed that his Blair's flowers could wither.
THE END
A special thanks to CryWilliams, for her help and her precious support!