Here's a new story that I hope you enjoy. I don't own any of these characters and don't be alarmed if you see a few crossovers.

Rufus flies onto a wide open plain covered with hills and small shrubbery. He gets out and walks up to the screen.

"Now you are about to see a superior show which will take you on an exciting trip to distant lands to catch rare and magnificent creatures. We at Free Agent X bring you… Monster Catchers."

Tidus and his party walk up to Rufus. "Are we on? Alright, I can't tell you how much this show is going to rock! We are here in the beautiful Spiran Calm Lands. I am Tidus and guys, would you like to introduce yourselves?"

Rikku jumps up and down. "Oh yeah! Hi, I'm Rikku and I'm an Al Behd. I'd usually get all into it and stuff but we've got to watch out for the monster's condition since we are supposed to catch them alive."

Meanwhile, Braska comes up smiling with his camera on his shoulder. "Hey Rikku, if you don't mind standing there for a moment, I'd like to get a shot of you there."

Rikku swirls around to face the older man and blushes. "Oh really? You want to film me?"

Braska nods. "Yeah, I want to get this thing set up for when you guys hunt. So, good luck to you all and let's make our first show a smash."

"Hee hee, thank you." Rikku gushes.

"So where should I stand?" Lulu asks, swiping a lock of hair from her face.

Braska points to a spot behind Rikku. "Let's see, how about over there."

Zone hops out of the helicopter holding a large boom microphone. "Hey guys, I'm totally new to this area. Are you sure you can catch-

Before he can finish, his mike strikes Lulu right between her breasts. She gives him a frosty look. Zone takes notice of the busty woman and goes beet red.

"Whoops! Don't worry, it's fuzzy so it doesn't hurt to get hit." He stammers out still focused on her chest.

"Really," she says as she snatches it out of his hands. "Let's see if that's true." She strikes him on the head.

"Ouch!"

"Do that again, and I'll electrocute you."

"Ah yes, that reminds me," Rufus steps in, "everyone must gather round. I'll have to go over some rules and regulations."

Tidus nods and motions for everyone to huddle and Auron, Yuna, and Kimahri step in closer to the man in the white suit.

"Right, the producer's gonna talk."

Rufus steps back from them. "Right, of course you all realize this show's purpose is to catch money—(cough) I mean monsters. So they must be intact. Also I'd like for you to look around at this valuable equipment…None of it should be damaged or else it comes out of your pay. I understand you will need weapons to help subdue the creatures so," He pulls out a brown sack, "here are your weapons and armor and junk."

He tosses it to Tidus, who begins to distribute the items, but Lulu snatches out of his hands. She rummages through it.

"What the hell is this? You didn't buy this from a real shop! BAG OF ICE SPELL? That's not a spell!"

Tidus just laughs nervously. "heh heh. Okay Lulu, just calm down. I'm sure everything will be alright." He places a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs him off.

"Get your hand off me."

Yuna stumbles over and picks up a staff. "This is going to be wonderful. Oops!"

The tip of her staff falls off. "The top came off Mr. Man" She brings it over to Rufus.

He looks at it for a moment then takes it from her. "Let me see this." He eyes it for a moment as he thinks of a way to make it work.

"Crazy glue will do. Here." He hands it back to her. She takes it.

"Okay." She says and wanders off to the tool box to find the glue.

Lulu is disgusted at this. "Oh for goodness sake," she turns to Rufus, "I have many, many magic spells. What do I need this for?"

"A few of those spells must be restricted, for your safety." Rufus replies.

Lulu throws her hands up. "Oh, Sir Auron, you know this is wrong, say something!"

Auron says nothing. This infuriates her more.

Wakka walks onto the field. "Hey, you guys weren't at Bazku's Burger Hut, where were you?"

"I hear they have great food there. Oh," Braska replies, "you're late. Stand over there."

Wakka looks around at the cameras and sound equipment and a huge smile grows on his face. "A SHOW!"

Lulu rolls her eyes. "What you didn't know? After all, to get here you had to pass the perimeter that was marked 'Halt! Show in Progress'"

Wakka squints at her. "Are you tryin' to hurt me?"

"So we gotta make this show interesting. You know, so we gain viewers." Tidus says to them.

Wakka raises his hand. "Aha! I know!" He takes out his boombox and pushes play.

He begins to dance and sing. "Oh my, starry eye surprise, sundown to sunrise, dance all night, we gonna dance all night to this DJ."

"Hey get away!" Zone backs away as Wakka tries to sing into the mike.

Rufus has gotten tired of the weird party. "Alright, that enough! Let's get rolling, I see some monsters besides…(we may not have the rights to that song). Go get them and remember intact specimens please. I'll be in contact via radio."

He walks over to the helicopter and hops on as it takes off. He hangs outside it long enough to warn them. "I'll be watching you."

The crew scrambles together as Braska gives them the signal to begin. We are on in three, two…" He gives the symbol that they are rolling. Tidus just blinks.

"We weren't taping that other stuff, were we?"

"You idiot! That's not important, here comes some monsters." Lulu snaps back.

Rikiku nods. "Two Nebrios and a Skoll heading our way."

Kimarhi grabs a dull spear and moves to the left. "Flame Flan and Shred from the other side."

"Maybe it would be best to split into two groups." Rikku advises Tidus.

Tidus cofirms the younger girl's idea.

"I'm going with Tidus!" Yuna shouts. Tidus rolls his eyes and signals for Kimarhi to follow him. Lulu, Wakka, and Rikku go in the other direction.

Wakka is still dancing and Rikku slaps his arm. "Wakka, stop it. We are in a dangerous battle."

He just brushes her off. "Aw man, come on, these guys don't scare me-

He gets stung by the Nebrios. "Owwww! Whoa dizzy…"

Yuna sees him and waves her staff. "It's alright Wakka… Esuna!"

But before her spell can be cast, a huge restriction barrier blocks her staff. She brings a hand to her mouth as if she said a bad word.

"Uh oh, I can't say that spell." She resumes her battle with the Nebrios.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll get back at it for you." Tidus promises, but Rikku warns him.

"Remember Tidus, it has to be intact."

Wakka is more concerned about his condition. "You guys I'm dyin' here!"

Tidus is too busy trying to kill the bug. "Rrrrgh! Get ever here you stupid bug!"

"You can do it, Tidus!" Yuna cheers. She just seems to be sitting on the grass clapping her hands.

Tidus shakes his head as he takes another swipe. It dodges easily and flies up into the air.

"It's too hard to catch it! It keeps flying away!" He nods to Kimarhi. "You have a better reach than I do, go for it!"

Kimarhi runs in to battle the Nebrios.

Meanwhile, Braska and Zone are a safe distance away catching the action. Braska can't be seen but Zone's boom stick picks up his conversation.

"Hmmm, this is a bit of a problem."

"What is?" Zone replies.

"It is a little difficult when they split into two groups like this. I think I'm going to need another cameraman."

"Oh…heh heh heh."

"What's so funny?"

Zone snickers. "I just remembered, Rufus said I could be in charge of music as well as sound. I've got some killer banjo music to go with this hoe down."

He puts on a CD labeled "bluegrass" and presses play. The fast-passes music blares out of three loud speakers and the two parties turn around, appalled.

Zone and Braska just snicker.

"No! You can't play that, Kimarhi's running in now!" Kimarhi refuses to fight with the music on.

Wakka gets up from where he was sitting and begins to dance. "Music!"

Yuna tries to stop him. "No! The poison will work faster!"

Lulu grabs her before she can reach him. "Shh1 Let's see where this goes."

Yuna doesn't get it. "Huh?"

"Oh shut up." Lulu pushes her back towards her party.

They resume fighting while Braska and Zone watch.

"How does Lulu do it?"

"Lulu? Oh, the girl with…yeah. I wonder how she stuffs all that into her dress."

"I was talking about her hair. I wonder how she puts it up. It must cost a fortune in hair products and sevices. How does she sleep in that?"

"Lemme see her."

"Whoa don't shake the camera. Way to go Rikku!"

"I don't think she sleeps in anything."

"Zone! She's just a kid! Have some decency!"

"No! I was saying Lulu sleeps naked!"

Lulu hears this. "WHAT?"

Yuna starts to get into the music and grabs Kimarhi's hand. "Come on Kimarhi let's dance!"

Kimarhi looks at her with desperation. "But Lady Yuna…"

Tidus bust out laughing. "HA HA! You gotta do what she says."

"B-but, er…"

"Kimarhi!" she pleads.

Kimarhi resists as much as he can. "Me? Dance? Urgm! Er! DAMMIT!"

He begins to dance with Yuna who giggles and twirls on her tip toes. Tidus can't stop laughing.

Meanwhile, poor Rikku is struggling to fight the monsters on her own. "You guys," she struggles out while striking the Skoll. "we're fighting here, remember?"

Tidus regains himself. "Sorry, I got it. The Nebrios are down!" He knocks the bugs out of the air and onto their backs. A crew of men with the logo "Monster Catchers" labeled on their white uniforms come out of nowhere and traps them. The monsters are pulled from the battlefield.

Rikku nods furiously. "GOOD! NOW HELP ME!"

Wakka finally tips over. "Ugh!"

Auron just watches in fascination as the Skoll comes over to the incapacitated Wakka.

Lulu pulls out a 'magic spell'. "Take this!" She throws it at the monster.

It breaks on the Skoll like a Molotov cocktail. It spreads a little onto Wakka.

"It's on fire…so it Wakka." Rikku gasps.

The Skoll shakes itself and rolls over on the ground. The fire fizzles out.

"That was cheap. Anybody could've made one of those and thrown it." Tidus shakes his head.

"Ya think?" Lulu retorts, pissed off.

Rikku slams a good hit on the Skoll and it goes unconscious. "Caught it! Whoo hoo! Score one for Rikku."

"Well I caught two Nebrios" Boasts Tidus.

"Awww!"

"AAARGH! Kimarhi could've done that!" Kimarhi shouts from where he is dancing.

Yuna just giggles. "I'm having so much fun!"

Braska shouts over to them. "That's great you guys, now just take care of that Flame Flan and Shred over by Zone."

"Over by what? Yikes!" Zone makes a run for it as he realizes how close the monsters were to him.

Tidus starts to run over. "I got it-AAH!"

Kimarhi pushes him over and runs toward the monsters. "No!"

"The Flame Flan needs to be weakened by ice magic. The Shred had to be hit with a piercing weapon." Rikku shouts.

"Ice magic, huh? Here's some ice magic." Lulu tosses a 'bag of ice spell' at it. It breaks and spills over it like liquid nitrogen. It freezes up solid.

"So stupid." She mutters.

Yuna jumps up and down. "Yay!"

"Way to go Lulu!" Rikku pumps her fist in the air.

Kimarhi tries to hit the shred, but it has no affect. Tidus tries to get a hit in, but Kimarhi keeps moving around.

"Move Kimarhi! We need a piercing weapon!

"I can see your underwear!" Zone shouts to Tidus.

"For real? (SHRIEK!)" Tidus screams, to everyone's amazement, like a girl.

It stuns the entire field. Kimarhi grabs his head. "Uhh, horrible!"

The frozen Flame Flan shatters.

"Ooh, I have a headache." Rikku moans.

Even the Shred shakes its head.

The scream didn't faze Yuna in the slightest. "I can't see his underwear."

Kimarhi is down on one knee. "Can't…fight…"

"Hey, my underwear isn't showing!" Tidus finally checks himself.

"No, really?" Zone bites back, regretting his joke.

Tidus looks over to Auron, who is taking a sip from his canister. "Old man, get over here. You have a piercing weapon."

Auron walks in. "As you wish…"

He takes out the Shred in one strike. Tidus grins. "Finally!"

Auron walks back to his spot, but not before throwing a pebble at Tidus.

"Hey!"

Rikku takes a look around, satisfied. "We did it!"

Braska shouts back to them. "Way to go! You guys are doing so good, that Malboro should be no problem!"

Tidus turns to the cameraman with fear. "WHAAAT?"

Rikku looks around frantically, hoping it's just a joke. "You're kidding, right?"

"I'm having so much fun." Yuna keeps repeating.

Kimarhi spots the green-tentacle plant monster. He shakes his head. "Kimarhi not wearing status protection."

"None of us are." Rikku moans.

Braska zooms in on the Malboro.

"I think we should feed it Wakka and make a run for it." Lulu says deadpanned.

"I don't want to die a virgin!" Zone wails.

The Malboro uses it's signature attack.

"RAAAAARRR!"

BAD BREATH!

The green gas goes everywhere. Everyone begins to yell and scream as they try to get away.

Zone gets dosed and wobbles in front of the camera. "Uh-! Wha-z nerf hayee you no burff!"

Rikku goes blind and mute. She tries to shout for help and stumbles and falls. Kimarhi has been confused and begins to spin around swinging his spear everywhere.

"HEE HEE HEE!"

Yuna takes off her underwear and goes running through the tall grass. (We're not sure if she was hit or not.)

Lulu is confused, asleep, mute, and poisoned. Tidus is blind, confused, berserk, and cursed. He takes his sword and hits Lulu. "Bambies spflingrrr mocadaca."

Lulu snaps out of it and runs away.

Wakka somehow wakes up groggily. "Wha-…Ssstarry eyed surrrpriiise?"

Braska has only gotten a whiff of it and begins to feel noxious. "Ugh…burp…feel sick…Pan right…Boxes on the coral sand, how the ocean sings…"

Rikku is wandering around for help not knowing she's being stalked. ("Help me!")

Auron staggers behind her. "Jecht you bastard! Sprffllejfjfigl!"

Lulu comes back with her doll. "Esuna!"

She breaks the restriction barrier. "Bag of Exit Spell!"

She throws a bag that breaks. Smoke fills the field and she grabs everyone and they make a run for it.

Meanwhile, Rufus is watching from a monitor in his office. He slams his fist down on his desk.

"How dare she! That is coming out of their pay!"

End.

Notes- How I love mayhem and massacre. Please let me know what you think. I am open to constructive criticism and comments. Thanks.