It's been a minute Sorry to all still waiting on Breathing Slowly I whole heartedly plan on revising and finishing that bad boy I just needed time to gain some perspective and once I finish with my spring semester I plan on starting in the summer. this little insert however is just something that I'm dealing with personally and I thought it best if I brought it to life via Brittany S. Pierce. Enjoy and as always comments are more than appreciated.
-Ash
A World Crashing Down.
She said she'd kiss me if I kissed her first. She said she likes me but she doesn't like girls. She said she loves me but more like family. She said she doesn't think about dating me but if it happened then it happened. She says a lot of things. But the last thing she said was you are above all else you helped me when I was on a cliff ready to jump, you saved my life.
Her life.
What is a life if not the connection you share with other people. how do you measure your worth if not from the people closest to you? These are the things running through my head when she texted me that night to tell me a bunch of contradictions that sum up as her feelings.
Wouldn't it have been much easier to tell me the end result. Why must she use me in her thinking process as a guinea pig rating my reactions to the things I dare not let myself think about. Is she my best friend above all or is she meant to be something more? And yes, I know how very cliche it is of me to potentially fall for my best friend but what can I say I've known her for over two years we're like two peas in a pod she's gone places with me that no other best friend before had gone. So why? Why would she ruin something that was going so good by half ass explaining something I never asked a question to?
It's open doors I never thought would open again. Which leads me to my next problem not only has this brief stint in my regular programming make me wonder how deep my feelings truly go but my birthday is coming up and not only is she invited but it's a three-day camping trip with 7 of my friends and two tents. Of course, my best friend, her, is going to want to sleep in my tent and of course everyone expects it that way. Thing is you can't control your body when your asleep it does what it wants when it wants same with hers and let's not forget she's the one that put it in my head that she's feeling feelings for me and that she'd be down to kiss I mean does that not sound like an invitation? And then I'm left with, should I kiss her? If I kiss her what happens? What if she really does kiss me back and if so what will that do to me and my poorly protected heart? I'm left with a lot of short sticks in this story I call my life. I'll be sure to update should things change but for all I know I'm the only one stressing because she left me with all the cards.