Title: Walking
Universe: XXXHolic
Theme/Topic: Watanuki's Birthday
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing/s: Watanuki, Doumeki (lightly DoumekixWatanuki)
Warnings/Spoilers: None I can imagine.
Word Count: 1,222
Summary: Watanuki grows up a little.
Dedication: Don't know anyone who would want it, to be honest.
A/N: UHM, this is kind of a world of SUCKAGE as far as fic goes, but I feel better now that my obligation to Watanuki for his birthday is done with, and I suppose that was the only purpose behind me writing this all the way to the end. Sorry for being so boring! Hopefully the next few fics will not be so stupid. No promises tho. XD
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

On the eve of his eighteenth birthday, Watanuki dreams.

He sees himself as a child looking at himself that exists now, the two of them all alone in their small, deafeningly silent apartment. There he is as a lonely, quiet little boy, looking shyly up at the older him with big eyes.

"Um…hello?" Watanuki says, and wonders if the dream still counts as a dream when he knows it's a dream and can control what he's doing.

"Hi," the him of the past murmurs.

"Are you okay?" Watanuki asks awkwardly, and gets down on one knee so he can look himself in the eye.

Two timid ones peer back at him through unruly bangs. "I was worried," the child admits after a moment, and looks Watanuki over carefully.

The larger boy's brow furrows. "Worried? About what?"

"Us."

"Us?"

A nod. "It was so quiet here… for so long."

Watanuki doesn't understand what the child-him means. "I don't…"

"I didn't think today would come like this."

"Today?"

The child smiles then, a bit shyly. "Congratulations… happy birthday."

Watanuki blinks. "Is it midnight already?"

Another small nod. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, "It's not so quiet anymore, ne?"

Watanuki definitely doesn't know what the kid is talking about. "Excuse me?"

The smile on the young-him's face broadens a bit at his own confusion. "I have to say goodbye now."

"What, so soon?"

"Yes. I just wanted to say… everything's okay."

"It is?"

"Yes."

And then the child is turning around, still shy, but more sure of himself as he moves now. "It's too bad I won't be able to see you anymore, but I think you'll be okay."

Watanuki stares. "What? What do you mean…" He reaches out to stop himself.

His fingers slip through air. The child starts to walk. "So you can keep going forward, I'll disappear."

"Wait!" Watanuki finds himself shouting. "I don't understand."

The child pauses for a moment then, and allows himself a quick look over his shoulder at Watanuki. "Everyone's voices…they're a nice change," he says. "So don't worry. Keep going forward."

And then he starts walking again, until he fades from sight and Watanuki has no idea what's going on. He can't move to follow, can't call out anymore. The only thing he thinks he understands is that something is moving on and that something else has come to take its place in his life. He doesn't know what it is, or if he feels ready for it yet.

It makes his chest feel tight, like he can't quite breathe.

But just when he thinks he's going to drown in the strange sea of anxiety the child's disappearance has inexplicably left him with, he wakes up to the sound of his cell phone, blaring merrily beside his ear.

The ringtone seems exceptionally loud and kind of obnoxious in the quiet space of his small apartment at this time of night, and he wonders blearily, Who calls a person at this hour?

He picks the phone up, looks at the display. Scowls.

"What do you want?" he asks, when he answers.

For a moment, there's no response. And then a quiet, "Happy birthday."

Watanuki wants to shout at Doumeki-the-idiot for waking him up at this hour to say that when he knew that they would very well see each other at school tomorrow, but when he looks at the clock and realizes that it is indeed midnight (and his birthday), for some odd reason, Watanuki doesn't feel like starting up another pointless fight with Doumeki now that he's awake already anyway.

So he sighs and says, "Thank you," instead, and rubs his eyes tiredly. They're a bit gummy.

Silence again after that, and Watanuki almost thinks that the bastard has gone and fallen asleep on him, even when he'd been the one to call in the first place.

But then, a gentle, almost amused sounding, "It seems like you've grown up a little," floats over the phone between them.

Watanuki scoffs a bit. "What makes you say that?"

"Nothing," Doumeki responds, and there is something warm in his voice that Watanuki had never noticed before until just now. He wonders if it's just an effect of being sleepy, or if he's still dreaming. He feels his cheeks turn pink a little bit either way.

Licking his lips, he asks, "Shouldn't you be asleep by now?"

"It's midnight," Doumeki says.

"So?" Watanuki responds, and feels slightly indignant at the teasing implications he's catching in the other boy's tone. But not enough to yell, so he curls back up into his futon with the phone pressed to his ear and just listens for a bit instead, because even if Doumeki is an inconsiderate ass sometimes, Watanuki realizes that it's still nice that the other boy remembered his birthday at all.

"So… it's midnight and we're not five anymore," Doumeki tells him, and Watanuki can imagine the bastard's smirk even through the line. "Or do you still have an early bed time even after all these years?"

Watanuki blinks, on the verge of snapping back something scathing at being teased like that. But then he realizes something. "I'm eighteen," he breathes.

Silence.

And then, "Are you sleep-talking?"

Watanuki fights the urge to roll his eyes. "No. I just… I'm an adult now, is all."

Doumeki chuckles a bit at that, but not mockingly (and perhaps that's proof that they've both grown up a little bit). "Welcome to the club."

Watanuki sighs. "I had a dream," he admits, after a moment.

"Did something try to eat you in it?"

"Not as far as I could tell. But you woke me up before it was finished."

"Oh."

They both don't say anything for a while after that, but it's not an uncomfortable silence. Watanuki pulls the blankets up over his chin and yawns. On the other end, he can hear Doumeki shifting around a bit too—perhaps settling for the night himself. "Thank you for the birthday wishes."

There's another long pause after that, and Watanuki can tell Doumeki is still slightly puzzled by the other boy's civility.

"You're welcome."

"I'll see you at school tomorrow. Get some sleep."

"Aa."

Watanuki hangs up first.

He smiles to himself as he puts his phone back on the ground beside his pillow, and when he closes his eyes again he doesn't feel as disjointed as he had just a little while ago, while he'd been dreaming. While he'd been losing something.

He falls asleep thinking that it's nice to have someone in your life to call you and wish you happy birthday, even if that person's timing is horrible and he clearly has no manners at all.

Watanuki doesn't have any more dreams after that, but rather, spends his first night as an adult looking forward to seeing everyone at school tomorrow.

And he hopes that the child he'd been—wherever he is now—knows that there's nothing to worry about anymore, that the sacrifice of that child's life so that this adult may live on will not be something to regret.

Because Watanuki will do his best to be the kind of adult that the innocent-hearted him will be able to approve of. He knows that Doumeki, Yuuko, Himawari—everyone—will help him get there.

All he has to do is keep moving forward.

END