*Acolyting in church*

Me: Hmm, I could get used to this...

Mike: That's a fancy robe ya got there

Davy: Very traditional

Me: GUYS! What are you doing here! And why do you two always show up together?

Davy: Dirty mind...

George: Hi

Micky: Don't fawn, why must they always fawn?

Priest Lady: And feed on him in your hearts forever...

Me: Maybe Christians are cannibals? I don't dig the whole "eating Jesus" thing they do in communion.

Mike: ZOE! It isn't literal! You might get shot sayin' those things...just look at John. Don't say you're bigger than Jesus, cuz you ain't.

Davy: Chill buddy. She's just figuring things out, right Zo?

George: Whatever makes you happy, girl, that's what you should believe.

Me: Thanks Georgie.

Micky: Churches make me uncomfortable...they're coming with their pitchforks! *falls over and starts rolling around on the ground*

Me: I just don't know what I believe these days. *sighs* What if I want to be a priest?

Micky: A chick priest? Sounds sexy! "Pornographic priestess, man you been a naughty girl, ya let your knickers down..."

Mike: Mick, we're in church, be respectful.

Micky: The Beatles were boss at being respectful. Right Georgie baby?

George: You guys are insane.

Davy: Believe me, HE'S the insane one. He makes us all look normal.

Peter: Sorry I'm late. Hi Zoe!

Me: Hey Peter.

Peter: So what's happening?

Mike: Zoe's thinking about becoming ordained. Don't make me explain what that is.

Peter: *rolls eyes* I'm the real Peter, I'm not an idiot like my TV counterpart. That's cool babe!

Me: THINKING about it. I just don't know what I want to be.

Peter: Here's some advice, be your own hero. If you want to go to seminary, go ahead. Just make sure you keep writing, you're kinda scary when you aren't.

Me: Thanks.

Margaret (other torch bearer): Pssst! Zoe! Go get the wine!

Me: Can I get the bread? I don't like coming in contact with wine.

Margaret: Just as long as I don't have to wash the hands, I hate that job.

Mrs. Hampton: GIRLS! Hurry up, the ushers are waiting on you!

Me: *looks around and notices the clergy are giving me dirty looks and the congregation is tittering* Right, okay!

Micky: Bye babe! You should learn to pay attention if you're going to be a chick priest!

Peter: See ya later!

*all the musicians vanish*