The Feeling Inside.
Chapter 1
The feeling inside. What is it? Is it sorrow, happiness, guilt? Nobody knows. It touches us all in some way, it comes in many forms be it sorrow or happiness. It touched me with guilt. Exactly two years ago, something happened to me. A few things actually. The feeling inside isn't just one feeling, it's many, many different ones that leave you feeling confused. It left me feeling like an empty shell. Something happened to me two years ago, something which I am now still paying for. I have lost two years of my life because of one person and many different feelings. Feelings of guilt over something that I let happen. Here's where it all started…..
"Buffy come down here." Joyce shouted to her young blonde daughter.
"Coming mom." Buffy skipped down the stairs and into her mom's arms. Joyce spun her around and platted her long golden locks of hair.
"Mummy, why do I have to go?" asked six year old Buffy.
"Because you're a big girl now Buffy, you have to go to school." Joyce explained.
"But I don't want to go mummy." Buffy moaned.
"you have to go, now come on Buffy get in the car or you will be late." Joyce pattered her daughters back and watched her jump into the passenger side of the car.
"They grow up so fast." Joyce smiled, grabbed her keys and went to drive her daughter to school.
The next few years of my life weren't really that important. I grew up with a strong relationship with my mother and kept that relationship. However, when I was fourteen, mom started acting different, weird even. On my fifteenth birthday, mom brought home a guy, Rupert Giles. He was very well mannered, well dressed and mom liked him, so I guess that meant I liked him too. That soon changed, it wasn't as if he was nasty to my mom or anything like that, he treated her very well, spoilt her even. They would often come in late at night laughing and joking together, that wasn't the bad part, I really liked seeing my mom happy. It was the fact that he kept my mom form me. I hardly ever saw her when she was with him. I remembered one Friday night; Friday's were always movie nights with us, and it had been that way for ever.
Instead of staying in with me she went out with him, I didn't mind that happening once, but it happened more than once.
"Hey mom, I rented 'shadow puppets'." Buffy said walking into her mom's bedroom. Joyce was stood in front of the mirror putting in some fancy earrings. She turned around to face Buffy.
"How do I look?" she was wearing a black dress, with sleeves, that came just below the knees.
"A little bit too well dressed to be staying in and watching a movie." Buffy replied with a look of confusion on her face.
"Oh Buffy, didn't I tell you? Rupee got us tickets for the opera. Last minute tickets from his work and all.
Buffy looked disappointed.
"Is it okay if I go honey?" Joyce asked.
Buffy nodded, "go."
"I'll be home late, don't wait up." Joyce kissed Buffy on the cheek and left.