Note:
This is an alternative story of how the relation between Carol and Daryl had evolved, would she have divorced Ed long ago. In this "universe" they are friends from childhood, as to keep that sense of understanding and deep friendship they share in the series.
Don't get me wrong, I love "The Walking Dead" exactly as it was written, but I was curious to see how it all would have evolved if Carol would have been stronger from the beginning.
It all starts before Rick finds the camp in season 1 and will, more or less, follow the series.
Rated M for language…for now.
I hope you enjoy it!
Be careful for what you wish
Shane and Lori had returned that night back to their car, their faces pale as paper. They couldn't give a big explanation of what was happening in Atlanta, but Carol had decided to trust them. Two days had passed since then. Now they were settled at a refugee camp, not very far from Atlanta itself. Carol had put up her tent next to Lori and Shane and had realized then that the two weren't actually a couple.
"Shane is my husband's best friend" Lori explained that evening as they were sitting in front of the small fire place. "He…died after sitting in a coma for some weeks" her voice lowered as she explained.
"I am so sorry to hear that" Carol said playing with the ring on her finger.
"Now everything what matters is keeping Carl safe" she looked at the woman. "And you…you're married right?"
"Oh, this?" she raised her hand with the ring on it. "No, I am divorced, but I keep this on my finger to never forget…to always remind me how I have to be" she smiled shortly. "My marriage ended badly, but at least it ended".
"So you have no one left?" Lori asked.
"I…don't think so. Just my regrets from the past. But there is someone I wonder about" she stopped as they all looked up at the approaching lights of a car.
Shane appeared out of his tent, stepping in front of Lori. He had managed organizing this camp and keeping everyone safe. The car stopped and three men got out of it.
"Hey, we saw the lights and…got place for another three souls?" the tallest said as he approached.
Shane's hand searched for his pistol just to make sure. Carol blinked a few times trying to see the face of the man clearly as he seemed familiar.
"M…Merle?" she took a step next to Shane.
"Well, if it ain't pretty Carol" the man called Merle opened his arms like wishing for an embrace.
"Is Daryl with you?"
"Yeah and yo' man here as well".
The other two men approached and while Carol joyed seeing one of them, her face went pale seeing the other.
"You know them?" Shane asked Carol and she nodded. "Should I trust them?"
Carol made a pause.
"Oh, come on man. You saw the world outside. We're big; we've got what it takes. We hunt, we get food" Merle said as his brother Daryl stared at Carol.
"Well, fine, after all this camp should be open to anyone" Shane said and approached the men.
"There you go, ya see?" Merle shook his hand. "This' my brother Daryl and this' Ed. The two o' them…" she pointed to Carol "are husband and wife, like the Lord wanted it".
"Were, Merle, were" Carol said out loud and turned around to walk to her tent. She sat in front of it, ignoring Ed's staring.
"Be careful for what you wish…" Carol whispered to herself and Lori sat next to her.
"You wished to…see him?"
"Ed? Heaven, no!"
"So your wedding ring…"
"Recalls me of him. I am afraid that if I throw it away I will make the same mistakes…again, sometime. It recalls me to stay…you'll laugh" she smiled.
"You can tell me…look in what times we live, you think there is anything I would laugh about?"
"To stay strong" she looked at her friend.
Lori smiled bitter and squeezed Carol's hands.
"You've gotten here alone so I guess you are pretty strong".
"I hope so, Lori. But just seeing him…all the guilt he made me feel comes back to me…all that…fear. I wished to never have to see him again, not because of hate, but because I am afraid of the fear I feel towards him. I am afraid he can turn me back into…paste in his hands".
"You loved him so much?"
"No…he manipulated me so much, he turned me into that. I am sorry…you shouldn't hear me say these things, it's not nice to speak like this of your ex-husband".
"Carol…you don't have to worry about that with me. I would rather you would see me as a friend".
"Thanks" Carol smiled at her new friend.
Merle and Daryl had set up a tent, somewhere farther from the group. Ed was also setting his tent close to theirs.
"So I guess ya high school sweetheart popped out of nothing" Merle mocked Daryl as they were arranging their new temporary home.
"Shut up" Daryl grunted.
"Oh, come on, you were all pinky teddies around her. Carol there and Carol here".
"I said, shut the fuck up, ol' man. Mind ya own fucking business" he ignored his brother.
"I don't really like those three. To me they look like a bunch of rednecks" T-dog said to Shane.
"I know…but having more capable men around here, won't harm us. Maybe…maybe these times have changed people".
"Your pretty optimistic, Shane".
"If not keeping hope than what? Maybe we can all get together…somehow".
"Mom, I'm thirsty" Carl came out of his tent.
"I'll get him some water" Carol offered.
"You don't have to" Lori said.
"I always wanted children and I kinda like your boy" she winked and she stood up.
She walked to the barrel with water Shane had brought in today. Her eyes stared at the newly arranged tents. She knew she had to avoid Ed no matter what.
Carol stopped in front of a man and looked up into Daryl's eyes. She smiled light hearted.
"Looking good, Carol. Always wondered where ya ran away" he said with his hoarse voice.
"You know…just far from the town".
"Glad you actually…did".
"I had a little help…"
"Now ya make me feel sorry I wasn't the one to help".
Carol chuckled and looked down.
"Came for some water?" Daryl asked taking the plastic bottle out of her hands. He filled it up.
"Thanks" Carol said and smiled again. But she saw Ed approach and her smile faded.
"See you later" she turned on her heels and left.
"What business do ya have talking to my woman?" Ed asked.
"Ed, go bore someone else with ya shit".
"Carol…she's just confused. And now…who will she turn to?"
"Hopefully not you" Daryl said bored and also walked away.
"Here you go" Carol handed the bottle of water to Carl. She looked up at Daryl returning to his tent and Ed drinking water. He was staring at her. Carol sighted.
"Hey…you can sleep with Carl and me tonight" Lori said. "There is enough room in there for all of us".
"That would be…I appreciate it" Carol tried hiding her eyes as she thanked Lori.
She moved her mattress that night and placed it next to Lori's bed. Carl had fallen asleep, his new life felt exhausting to him.
As the two women chatted, Carol saw a shadow pass the tent and approach hers. She lifted her upper body.
"Carol…don't".
"I want to send him away…I feel safe being here, but I can't spend all my nights here with you" she stood up and went out.
To her big surprise she didn't find Ed outside, but Daryl. He looked somehow embarrassed at her.
"I was ahm…I was making sure you're fine" he mumbled.
"I thought it was Ed and…I came out to say some nasty things to him" Carol shrugged a little amused.
Daryl nodded and passed her.
"Daryl…" she called and he turned. "It's…really nice to see you again".
The corner of his right lips smiled and he turned after looking rather long at her. Carol didn't need words to understand him. She could read him inside out ever since childhood. She returned to Lori.
"It wasn't Ed…but Daryl".
"Mhm" Lori smiled half asleep.
Carol turned the dim light off.
"You went through a lot, you need your sleep" she whispered as she pulled the light blanket over her.
It was laundry day and Carol together with Lori and some other women gathered the dirty clothes in order to wash them at the collected water of the dam. Glenn was the one to drive them and he gathered fire wood while the woman washed the clothes in the water.
Andrea was always complaining about her washing machine and got the women talking as she did so. They scrubbed the clothes, while Glenn still gathered wood. He had too much to begin with, but somehow he felt a little uncomfortable around so many women.
Daryl passed them with a dozen of squirrels attached to his belt. He was dirty like a pig and Carol left her washing place.
"I can…wash that for you" she said pointing as his shirt.
He stared somehow amused at her.
"Come one…we have shared tasks here. I wash your shirt and you share of that squirrel meat later…even if I am not sure I want that".
"Ya'll like it, I cook it well" Daryl smirked and took his shirt off. She recalled Carol of the times she would watch Daryl play basketball in high school. Also…taking his shirt off. He handed her his dirty shirt.
"We wash on Wednesday. You can bring me your clothes and I will take care of them" Carol said holding the shirt in her hands.
Daryl nodded.
"Maybe I can catch a rabbit for ya" he said with the same smirk on his lips. He turned to leave.
"Hey, Daryl…you don't intend in leaving, do you?"
He looked long at her.
"Not now, no more" he mumbled shortly.
Carol squeezed the shirt at her chest as she watched him walk back to the camp. Lori had to hide a smile when Carol returned with the shirt, cleaning it with care.
That evening Carol had gathered all the clothes from where they were drying. She folded them carefully and, as she stumbled upon Daryl's shirt, she decided to return it. Ed and Merle were chatting with Shane so she went to Daryl's tent. She knocked on the frame and the man came out.
"Clean" Carol handed it to her.
"Smells nice" Daryl said pleased. "They cooked up the meat, ya should have a taste. It's my own recipe".
"Are there more ways to cook squirrel meat?"
"Neah…" Daryl laughed and so did she.
"You look like a whore in that color" Ed approached pointing at her red blouse.
"Mind ya own business, Ed" Daryl grunted.
"Don't cha agree with me?"
"No, she looks pretty in it".
"Well, you' opinion is nothing worth to me. You' look like a whore" Ed repeated.
"Always charming, Ed" Carol's face turned almost grey as she looked at him. She walked away, feeling her limbs slightly shiver. She sat down next to Lori and Carl.
"Tonight's specialty…squirrel" Lori laughed handing a piece to Carol.
Merle, Daryl and Ed also approached and sat to eat.
"It's not that bad" Carol said as she took a bite.
"I am so hungry this tastes like fine cuisine to me" Lori joked with her.
The long haired woman looked around at the new guests and realized the look in Ed's eyes every time she was looking towards Carol.
"You can sleep in my tent for as long as you wish" she whispered to Carol.
"No…it's fine, I'll be fine in my tent" Carol whispered back to Lori".
"Has anyone, any funny story to tell? It wouldn't harm us" Dale broke the silence. "But please no horror story".
Everyone laughed.
"I have one and it goes like this…" he started telling the story to relax the atmosphere.
Ed stood up bored and returned to his tent. He put up a fire there.
"Keep that low, we have rules here" Shane called after him.
"I'll get that" Merle said and stood up." Come on, man ya want those biters to turn you into a snack?"
Dale resumed his story and, as much as Lori was paying attention she noticed how Daryl was staring at Carol.
Lori brought Carl to sleep and came out to sit with Carol a little more. The woman seemed to be sleepless and Lori could guess why.
"So Daryl…he watched you all night" Lori started saying.
Carol chuckled looking down at her hands.
"Daryl and I are the same age and we used to play around as kids. We went to high school together, well, as much as he attended we always got together well. And he…he invited me to prom" Carol said like it was very important, knowing she will amuse Lori. "Yeah, he did. And I said yes. You should have seen me then how I was sewing one of my mother's old dresses to make it pretty for the prom and I think I did a good job… at least the look in his eyes said that. We danced…and I know Daryl doesn't look like the dancer type…but he danced with me".
Lori laughed entertained.
"Rick and I…we also went to prom together" she said.
"Your husband?"
She nodded.
"We got married young…but please, end your story".
"Well…we were so young and it felt so strange…we didn't even kiss that night. While others made out we…just danced and stared at each other…kinda like we do now" Carol smiled playing with a straw of grass.
"So what happened? He still stares at you".
"His father took him out for a hunt that summer. My parents were starting to insist for me to get a job, as money was never enough around our house. And I did as a waitress. I met Ed there" her smile disappeared. "Daryl didn't come down from the mountain that summer or autumn. When I asked Merle about it…he said Daryl's just fine there and when he comes back down, he'll take him up to the town to help with his …business. And I believed him like a fool. Then Ed asked me out to the movies. He was pushy that night and, I, stupid and young. And like that… I got pregnant. My very first time…"
Lori placed her arm around Carol's shoulders, comforting her. She somehow knew where that was leading.
"So Ed said he'll make me his wife and he did the next month. But I lost the baby…and that's when it all started. He was furious about it. He blamed me…when Daryl finally got back from the mountain I was married and had already miscarried a child. He stayed a day and left. To the town, to the mountains…I don't know. I never knew…" she said looking towards their tents.
"You were young then, Carol…we all made our mistakes" Lori said playing with the ring on the chain of her neck. "And sometimes…it's too late to see it. How long I wished to be able to take back everything I said to Rick. What a fool I have been" a tear appeared in the corner of her eye and she brushed it away.
"Hey, you two are ok here?" Shane approached going down to look at them.
"Yes, yes we are…just telling stories of the past" she smiled at him.
"Is Carl asleep?"
Lori nodded.
"I think I am going to bed" Carol said wanting to give them privacy. She had learned something in her crazy life: not to judge, no one, nothing. She smiled at Lori and went inside her tent.
Truth be told she couldn't sleep well that night. She imagined shadows walking to her tent, she had the impression Ed entered a few times, she tossed from one side to the other. She woke up dizzy when the sun was rising, thinking how she could fear a living soul more than a dead one in those times. She felt she had sweated much last night and the day announced itself warm so she wished for a shower. And then she saw Daryl.
"Morning. Hunting at this hour?" she approached him.
"Yeah…morning is best" he smiled down on her.
"Are you hunting…near to the waters?"
"Why you ask?"
"I would like to…well, clean myself. And if you…"
"Sure, come with me" he said and the two left.
They walked in silence until they reached the water.
"You can clean… I'll turn" he said and did indeed turn.
Carol took her clothes off quickly and entered the water with the soap she was carrying. Daryl was searching the surroundings with his eyes as he heard the water break from Carol's moves. She cleaned herself quickly as she didn't wish to hold Daryl too long from his hunting. As she left the water and grabbed the fresh clothes she had brought with her, she stopped for a glance of a second, realizing how much she trusted this man and how secured she had felt with him. She was in the woods, dressing herself after bathing naked. She had feared shadows, walkers, Ed and who knows what else last night and now it seemed she… didn't fear anything. Daryl took a peak, making sure she was ready. He turned as she was fully dressed.
"Carol…what happened?" he asked.
She looked at him long, waiting to continue.
"Why did I return and ya were married and had…lost…ya know".
Carol pressed her lips together.
"I was stupid…that happened" she whispered.
"Did I do something wrong that night?" he asked.
"You? It was me…you left and I…"
"You don't need to explain ya self to me. Come on, I'll take ya back to the camp" he said and started moving. She followed him.
Then he suddenly stopped.
"Ya got a knife?"
"Yeah, this" she took the knife out of the pocket of her jeans.
'That's kinda a small. I'll give you a bigger one. Walkers attack, you go for the head, understood?"
She nodded and he smiled shortly. Then he started walking again.
"Listen, Daryl…" she said as they reached back.
"Who helped ya that night? That ya ran from Ed?" he turned to her.
"It wasn't someone. It was the memory of…I thought of you and ran away".
He smirked and stared long at her.
"You cut yo' hair short" he said.
"Yes, after I left. I…tried changing everything about me. Is it that bad?"
"No, you're as pretty as always" he said. "Goin' hunting. Maybe I catch a deer this time" he waved his hand at the forest.
"Good luck…" Carol smiled at him.
She watched him leave, as she felt her lips couldn't stop smiling.
End note: No, I don't think Lori is a bitch and from my point of view she has always been there for Carol. Also Shane devolpes as he does because of folowing events. There is not much white and black in this world, just events and choices which color the grey.
Anyway thank you very much for reading!