A/N: This became my attempt to write a story without any dialogue until the end. Hopefully, I've done it well enough!
Wordless
It wasn't something they talked about. Ever.
It just ... happened.
Puck didn't stop it. Why would he? Whenever Finn showed up, eyes dark and tongue silent, he knew it would happen again. And the self-proclaimed sex shark was cool with that. Or, at least he never said otherwise. And they never talked about it.
The first time, Puck figured it was some sort of punishment, for sleeping with Quinn, for lying about the baby, for asking right away if things were cool between them.
Things were not cool.
It felt like it should have been raining that night, but it wasn't. The air hung heavy and wet with unshed moisture and Puck was alone in a dark, cold house until Finn pounded on his front door.
There was nothing to be said.
With a quick right-cross, Finn struck Puck's cheekbone, hard enough to sting and rattle him, but not hard enough to crack the bone. Puck had always been heavy-boned for a Jew, anyway. He wasn't so easy to break.
Because he knew he had this coming, Puck refused to fight back. Finn refused to yell and scream at him, instead just grabbing Puck and shoving him against the wall, rattling the framed pictures in which Puck's little family pretended to be happy. The closest Finn came to speaking was a raw, frustrated noise of grief, not even anger, but grief.
The grief made Finn hang his head and sniffle, and were Puck any less of a friend, he would have said something: made fun of the kid or even offered consolation or something. Finn didn't need or want either response. Except for boning Quinn, Puck had always been a good friend, so he kept his mouth shut, taking the punches and the shoves silently. It was all Finn's fault in the first place, joining glee club so he wasn't around that night Puck got to Quinn. Just like the paintballs, Puck got it in his head to punish Finn for breaking rank.
Puck had gone too far, sleeping with Quinn, instead of just making out like he'd planned on.
This night, just a few days after Winter break ended, Puck received punishment in turn. Except when Finn looked back up at Puck after shoving him against the wall, his expression was softer and his hands shaking as they idled up to brush the quickly forming bruise on Puck's cheek. Finn's eyes offered an apology, and Puck nodded in forgiveness, pulse quickening as he realized how close together they were standing. There was a reason the Puckster went out for football and not wrestling, even though he was fucking good at the latter. With football there were pads and jerseys and cups in between him and the rest of the players. With wrestling, just like being pressed against the wall by his best friend, there was next to nothing between him and the others. Puck would be found out.
Heavy hands on Puck's shoulders turned into a man-hug, and then a real hug, with stomachs touching. Carefully, Puck let his arms come around Finn's back, but as soon as they encircled the taller boy, Finn cried out and shoved him away.
Angry eyes found Puck's, or maybe they were scared.
Puck didn't know how to respond to that, his tongue useless as he grasped for something to say.
Finn never gave him the chance to get something out. Instead he leaned forward, hands rough on Puck's shoulders again, pinning him to the wall. His face was so close that Puck breathed the same air and struggled against the urge to lean forward and close the gap between them. And then Finn did it for him.
As soon as the five to ten milliseconds of shock wore off, Puck returned the kiss, not really caring what it mean besides the fact that Finn was touching Puck with something besides hate. When the kiss deepened and the tips of their tongues met, Puck felt almost surprised that Finn's taste tugged a jolt of want from his heart, through his core, and straight to his dick. He'd known for years that dudes got him hot, but somehow, Puck never figured Finn would be one of those dudes. He was. Like, big time.
After a few minutes of heated kissing, Finn grabbed Puck by the shirt and dragged him through the empty house, almost as familiar with the route to Puck's room as Puck was.
The first piece of clothing wasn't lost until Finn closed Puck's bedroom door behind him, but then all of a sudden, Puck's clothes were being torn away from him and he didn't fight it. He let Finn do whatever the fuck he'd come here to do.
The next day, at the basketball game, when Rachel was cheering her pretty little head off for her "boyfriend", Puck could still feel Finn's "punishment". It wasn't painful, thank god, just a constant reminder that they were even now, if you counted the tallies a certain way. Puck liked to think that since he'd gotten off too, he was still winning. But he didn't say it, just gave Finn a knowing glance mid-game. That kid had way too much on his plate right now to even think about talking to Puck about whatever the fuck had gone down between them the night before.
It happened again a few weeks later. Finn must have overheard Puck talking to Matt about how his mom and sister were going to be away for the weekend and wondering if they should have a party, because Puck sure as shit didn't tell Finn the info to his face. Nothing ever came of the party idea, since everyone was too occupied with Madonna music to want to party and Rachel was dating Jesse St. James, the douchebag of Carmel High.
Puck was just wasting time, playing videogames in his sweats, when Finn showed up at his bedroom door, probably after letting himself into the house. Raising one eyebrow in silent question, Puck offered Finn the spare controller, but Finn shook his head no. Instead he jabbed the TV Power button to plunge the room into darkness and straddled Puck, grabbing his face in two hands. Puck had just enough time to wonder whether Finn smelled faintly like Santana's god-awful perfume before lips crashed into his and shaking hands found their way under his t-shirt.
It felt different from the first time, no less passionate, but less hostile than the time before. It almost felt like Finn was trying to prove something, but he didn't say what and Puck didn't ask.
The third time happened after that whole Finn's mom was dating Kurt's dad revelation and that time around, Finn kissed Puck gently, touched him almost reverently, and took him slowly in the backseat of Finn's car after basketball practice. They almost got caught by the school security guard and they still didn't talk about it.
Finn had no idea why he kept going back to Puck, but he sort of figured if they didn't talk about it, it didn't happen. Except it did happen, and it kept happening. Finn craved the feel of Puck's skin under his fingers and the taste of Puck's tongue in his mouth.
And the craving wouldn't go away.
He worried that he wasn't the All-American straight boy that everyone expected him to be. When Rachel wanted love and commitment, Finn just wanted to get out and go back to Puck. When Santana talked him into losing his v-card (his with-a-girl-v-card), Finn felt so disgusted with himself that he ended up going to Puck afterward, to get the feel of her out of his bones.
When Mike helped them put together their costumes for the KISS number, Finn had the most difficult time keeping his eyes and his hands to himself. Puck was just so ... Puck - all hard muscles and that bulge in front that made Finn wonder what it tasted like.
It freaked him out, especially when Azimio and Karofsky ragged on him for putting on makeup in the bathroom. They'd called him bisexual. Was that even a thing? And Finn wasn't, right? He didn't like Kurt. But he couldn't stop himself from having sex with Puck whenever the opportunity arose.
The first time, he'd meant it as a punishment, payback for fucking Finn over, metaphorically, if not literally. And he hadn't meant to go that far. But the way Puck responded made Finn think his choice of punishments was stupid and Finn was stupid for wanting it to keep happening. And all that stupidity and insecurity came tumbling out when Kurt redecorated their room without even asking Finn what he would like. The decor made Finn wonder if he did accidentally end up naked in Kurt's presence would something about his body give away the fact that he liked, no craved, sleeping with Puck? Would Kurt find out and redouble his efforts at getting Finn to go out with him? Would he tell?
The first place Finn went after Burt kicked him out was Puck's. The guy's mom and sister were out, Finn didn't ask where, and Finn silently offered himself up to whatever Puck wanted. Finn had been a hurtful douche to Kurt, so this time, he deserved the punishment.
It didn't kill the cravings like Finn hoped it might. It only made them worse.
When Puck wanted some payback for what Jesse St. Douchebag did to Rachel, he looked to Finn for support. They'd always been able to talk with a look, but somehow the past few months had made it easier to tell what Finn was thinking. They'd said all of maybe five words to each other since Sectionals, and it was always in the presence of everyone else, so Puck was pretty sure Finn was on board with the whole "if they didn't talk about it, it didn't happen" deal.
After slashing all those tires, by silent agreement they went back to Finn's house and celebrated. Twice.
Quinn had Puck's baby.
Finn told Rachel he loved her.
If he loved her, why did he keep cheating on her? All summer, whenever Rachel was busy, Finn went looking for Puck. Sometimes he was out, but most times Puck was easy to find, easy to convince with a dark look or a little smile that things would be better if they were naked.
Funny thing was, Finn did feel better when they were naked together. He thought he might feel even better after they talked about whatever this was. Or he'd feel much, much worse.
Sometimes, especially late at night, Puck found Finn first. The dude perfected climbing through Finn's window and waking him up with heavy hands and lips. A few times, Finn pushed him away and rolled over to go back to sleep, but most of the time he allowed it.
If neither of them spoke, it wasn't like he was really cheating on Rachel, was it?
When Puck stopped providing extra services along with his pool-cleaning business, a rumor got started that he was cripplingly depressed. Oddly enough, after every time he was with Finn, that heavy weight on his shoulders - Beth - felt the tiniest bit easier to bear.
Rachel was a problem. If she was around, Puck couldn't just show up at Finn's and push the guy into bed. But Puck didn't want anyone else. How could he have what he wanted, though, when Finn seemed just fine keeping this a secret?
Puck tried finding other people. He tried a few cougars. He tried getting sucked off in the bathroom of a Dayton gay bar. He tried forgetting that Finn even existed.
One night, when Puck climbed up to Finn's window really damn late, Rachel was there, on Finn's bed, with Finn's hand cupping one breast, pulling it out of the top of Rachel's dress. That was supposed to be Puck's nipple Finn was sucking on. It was supposed to be Puck's leg the jackass was humping. It was supposed to be Puck's lips sucking on the salty skin of Finn's neck.
Crazy with frustrated jealousy, Puck drove his mother's Volvo into a deserted convienience store. When he realized what he'd done and that the cops would ask him why he'd done it and how he couldn't say the words out loud, Puck grabed the ATM and tried to make a run for it.
Finn didn't even fucking visit him in prison.
For a long time after Puck got out of Juvie, Finn didn't even want to look at the guy. He was so stupid and their thing together was so messed up, Finn just wanted to forget it had ever happened. But then sectionals came around and Rachel found out about his thing with Santana. Santana was nothing. If Rachel knew about Puck, all of her yelling would make sense, but she didn't. No one knew.
When he got off the bus back in Lima, Finn caught Puck by the arm and jerked his head to get the other boy to follow him home. He told his parents and Kurt that Puck was staying over to play video games and celebrate their win. He managed to convince Puck, with desperate kisses and careful touches, to have sex three times that night. It was a record that was three months in the making.
Puck couldn't go back. He couldn't keep going forward; he couldn't focus on school and putting up with his mother and not drowning himself in her liquor cabinet, without Finn. So when Rachel propositioned him, Puck agreed with every intention of cutting things short. Finn would get his reason to dump Rachel and Puck would have season tickets to angry sex with Finn.
It worked.
Lauren agreed to be Puck's beard after she caught him staring at Finn one too many times in class. Puck complained long and loud to the glee club guys about how Lauren wasn't letting him get anywhere and he was pretty sure she was just messing with him. Finn smiled to himself and Puck noticed that even after Quinn and Sam broke up, Finn didn't go after her.
When Finn told Rachel that Kurt was blackmailing him about his browser history, it wasn't exactly true. No, when Kurt brought Finn warm milk one night and found Puck already there, going to town on Finn's dick while kneeling next to the bed, he squeaked and sloshed milk everywhere, just managing not to drop the glass.
Puck wiped the spit from his mouth and grabbed his jacket, climbing out the window without a word, while Finn struggled to pull his boxers back up and get covered. He tried in vain for two minutes to say something by way of explanation, but Kurt just shook his head and closed the door.
It was cool, though. Kurt didn't hit on him, or even hint at it. He didn't say anything when Finn drove Puck home after Rachel's party and spent the night, tasting the alcohol on Puck's tongue.
A few days later, when Kurt was complaining about Blaine thinking maybe he was bi and how that wasn't a real thing, Finn threw down his game controller and left the house before he punched his brother. Later that night, he found an apology note on his pillow and sighed, nodding to himself. It was easy for Kurt to get it - the whole not-being-straight thing - but Finn was still convinced that no one else besides Puck would understand.
When he and Finn did talk, it was always about school or glee club and usually other people were around. They didn't talk about what this was or where it was going or about how Puck was pretty sure they were exclusive now. They didn't talk about spending most nights together, until one or the other had to sneak back home. They definitely didn't talk about the morning they woke up holding hands, with Puck pretty sure he had started that shit.
When Puck got home one morning, stinking like sex but insisting he'd just been at Finn's house, his mother called him out of school and drove him to Temple, insisting he stayed there thinking about what he'd done to some poor innocent girl until she came to get him. Rabbi Birchfeld asked Puck halfway through the day if he wanted to talk over lunch an Puck agreed, talking the whole time about baseball and about how it was stupid to be a Cubs fan.
When the Rabbi told Puck that god loved him, Puck just smiled. He knew that shit already. Why else would he make up for Puck's dad leaving by giving Puck an awesome sex life?
When Kurt asked Finn when he was going to stop hiding behind the fact that Rachel broke his heart and start telling the truth, Finn shrugged. He wasn't even sure what truth to tell. If Rachel found out he and Puck had been sleeping together for over a year, she'd be really hurt. If he told anyone, Puck would probably kill him. If he told Puck he was pretty sure he loved him in a let's-always-be-together sort of way, Finn would get his ass kicked. If Puck knew how many times Finn had bitten back on crooning the guy's name when Puck did something unforgivably mind-blowing, he'd never sleep with Finn again.
He and Puck came to a silent agreement to room together at nationals in New York, and if anyone noticed during the afterparty that only one of the beds had been slept in, no one said anything. When Sam asked Finn why he and Puck were rooming together despite the fact that they hardly ever talked to each other, Finn shrugged and mumbled something about comfortable silences.
During the summer, between Nationals and Football Camp, Finn practically moved into Puck's house, spending as much time there as his mom would allow. Conversation about things like video games and movies became easier, but sex was still a silent affair, usually initiated after dark or when the house was sure to be empty. A smirking glance, a passionate grab, a subtle caress, all used to say what neither one could voice out loud.
It wasn't until the night before their first day of Senior year, when Puck realized what it was going to be like, having to be around other people again, and not just for the week of Football Camp, where they could get away with sharing one bunk almost every night, that he found his voice. Climbing up to Finn's window, shoes scraping on the tree bark and then the shingles of the eaves in front of the guy's window, Puck tried to think of what he could possibly say after all this time. Pushing open the window (always unlocked by silent agreement), he threw one leg and then the other into Finn's room, toeing off his shoes and dropping his jacket on the floor before crawling into bed and waking Hudson with a dirty kiss.
Fin smiled and pulled Puck close, hand edging for Puck's waistband until Puck caught his wrist and held it tightly. In response to Finn's silent question, Puck cleared his throat and said, "Kinda love you, dude."
Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Finn watched Puck for a long moment before licking his lips and letting them settle into a lopsided grin. "Yeah. Me too."
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