Didn't Get to Say Goodbye

Hi guys! This is a one-shot surrounding Kyle and his thoughts on Casey's death

I am a UK viewer so Casey's death hasn't aired here yet (I hate the fact that we are like two months behind!) but I have seen Lincoln's last interview, the shooting scene and some clips that come before and after that scene

The scene with Kyle and Phoebe after the shooting inspired me to write this because I think that on the show they will concentrate a lot on Brax's grief (and Steve did a really good job from the what I have already seen) so I thought I'd do a one-shot on how it affects Kyle

I don't think that there's enough of Kyle in the show, as a Braxton brother, they always leave him out a bit since he wasn't part of the Braxtons when they first came on the show so that's my reason for doing this one-shot

It was sad to see Casey leave after three and half years on the show but I wish Lincoln the best of luck with his career!

Please check out my other fanfics – Life as a Braxton and A Twist of Fate as well

I hope you enjoy this and please remember to leave a review with your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I don't own Home and Away


Summary: A one-shot about the aftermath of Casey Braxton's death and how it has affected his brother, Kyle Braxton


I couldn't believe it even though that I had seen it with my own eyes, even though that I had witnessed it all, my brother - my little brother - is dead and there was nothing that I can do about it.

The gunshot had come out of nowhere and Casey just stopped mid-sentence. I'll never forget the look on Brax's face as he took Casey into his arms and sat with him, telling him over and over again that he's got him and that everything would be okay.

There was nothing I could do; there was nothing any of us could do, apart from stand by and watch as the life slowly escaped him, leaving behind his lifeless body. Brax clung to the limp body in desperation when the cops turned up; even though it was evident Casey was gone. Eventually, they had to take Brax away, as he screamed and yelled for Casey.

It broke my heart seeing Brax like that – he has always been the strong one, the one we all looked up to, the one who always knew what to do and yet, I've never seen him more broken. He had practically raised Casey and for Casey to then die in his arms – I can't even imagine what must be going through his head but I know that I have to try to be there for him, because he needs us – after everything he has done for me, this is the least I can do for him.

It still hasn't sunk in properly – I keep expecting to see Casey come through the door after his shift at the gym, raiding the fridge or sitting on the couch and watching TV.

I just wish that things could have been different between us. I wish that I hadn't kidnapped him and taken him to the desert, that we hadn't fought over Tamara and that we hadn't wasted so much time hating each other.

I regret that I couldn't have spent more time with him. But I am glad, and grateful, that recently we had been getting on – just like I had always imagined when I was younger, I had always thought what it would have been like growing up with my three brothers instead of being kept a secret from them.

I think the past few weeks are the happiest I have been in my life. For once, everything was great in our family – Heath, Bianca, Darcy and Harley were settling down in the city, Brax and Ricky were trying for a baby, Casey and Denny were going out and I had Phoebe by my side but as always with our family, it didn't last and trouble always seemed to find us and this time, trouble came in the form of Jake Pivoric and the consequence this time was Casey's life.

Even at the end of his life, Casey was a loyal and forgiving brother and that is how I will always remember him. His last words were 'I'm sorry' as he looked up at Brax (as he had done his whole life) and he took his last breaths seconds later. Even then, when he was about to die, he was apologising as if it was his fault.

I loved Casey as a brother but I don't think I ever told him, because it isn't something us guys just say to each other and this has just made me realise that I shouldn't take what I have for granted and that life is short – you always hear people say someone is too young and too good to die and Casey was one of those people.

I wish I had been able to be more of a big brother to him, like Brax and Heath had, but because I didn't grow up with them, I missed out on that and we had a rocky start when we first got to know each other. I'm glad though that I knew him and I'm proud to call him my little brother. He gave me a second chance, and a third, and forgave me for what I had done and honestly, I'm so glad that he did because I can recall some good times with him now, not just the bad.

When Casey found out that he wasn't actually a Braxton, that we weren't actually blood related and that he was actually a Barrett, I realised that it didn't matter - your family are those people who are there for you and those people that you can rely on and Casey was one of those people – he was family. Living with my brothers the past few years has shown me how much family means to them – they've always got each other's backs and I'm glad that I have them.

I wish I could thank Casey– for giving me another chance and for letting me get to know him because he was one of the best people I have ever known, always thinking about others and putting them before himself, and I'm sorry that his life came to an end so suddenly and too soon – but I can't thank him now, because it's too late.

A lot of things are on my mind at the moment but the most dominating subject is the fact that my little brother has gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.


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