Hello to the person on the other side of this monitor. Thank you for considering this little experimental story of my worth your time. I will gladly accept all your thoughts and emotions after you read this 1st chapter.
I was cleaning my music library of old songs and stumbled on few that made me want to write something like first its going to be a series of one shots from different points of view. This is the first, Blossoms chapter. How her perfect life turned out after leaving her home town to study.
P.S I don't own the song! Its Kelly Clarkson - Because of you.
listening to the instrumental version can get you into the flow of the story. purely my opinion
They say a song is the rhythm of a life. Which tells a story that is hidden in a persons soul.
It awakes emotions that people never felt and uncovers faces that we wanted to forget.
Blossom:
In my freshman year I met, wasn't the guy girls usually pay attention too. But I did.
He was smart, like me.
He followed the rules, like me.
He had a strong sense for justice, like me. And our goals were alike.
So, for me he was the perfect guy or so I thought.
Right after High School we went away to college in New was the first boy in my life, that made me feel like a woman and should have been my last.
At that point in time I was happy, young and in love. With a bright future ahead of me. But that happiness didn't last long.
It all broke apart 2 years after the Science Award was nominated for the prize that he worked his whole life for.
I was there right beside him,supporting when they announced the winner...
It wasn't him.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
That night ,was the first time I saw him in rage.
He was trowing things,ripping up photographs,awards were scattered on the floor and after there was nothing more to break, he turned to me...
The only thing left unbroken...and the only thing that stood in his way...so he said..
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid
"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"he yelled at my face. Holding me by my hair roughly against the wall.
"IF I hadn't wasted all these years flirting and doing what you wanted IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!"
Now thinking back on it I could have fought back ,I wasn't a weak I have powers.
But I didn't .
Was it love? Or was it fear?
I still don't know.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
After that night, he was finding mistakes in everything I do.
How I walk,how I talk, how I dress or how I cook.
Everything was wrong to him.
I tried to reason with him but he would just go back to yelling and abusing me more.
I cried so many times because of him, but never in front of would just make him hurt me even more. Since in his eyes I deserved every second of it.
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
I couldn't tell my family or friends what happened, I couldn't tell them I made a mistake.
Or I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to fix it. I still believed it could be fixed.
Dexter at this point had locked himself inside his Lab.
He didn't eat what I made or talked to I know he would go out to get food when I was away.
When I did see him, he would once again blow out in rage how something went wrong and I was at fault. At these moments I always though, is this the person that I met in High school? The one I fell in love with?The one I saw my future with?
Was I really that blind?
I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was slowly watching, the boy that I fell in love with at 16, fade away like he never existed.
And a person I never met appeared before me.
He told me things that shouldn't be true.
That he had cheated,he never loved me, it was all a game.
I was the prize he won. That wanted me only for my looks and my social status. That I should have made life easier for him. But instead I broke it all. All his dreams.
I was breaking inside little by little , I didn't want to believe it.
That I was used right from the start. Outsmarted by this...this...human? Can someone really be this cruel and still remain human?
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
I watched him begging me to stay with him, when he came home drunk one night.
I watched him stumble through our flat all broken and in tears.
He called me, Olga.
And begged for forgiveness, said he loved me and that he never meant to let me go.
Only I wasn't Olga, I wasn't what he wanted all along.
It was a game for him, a show.
And I was a fool for believing him.
And now I cry In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
I was devastated as everything that I lived for these past 5 years had shattered in font of me in a year.
A year all it took to break my dreams, all I ever believed in.
Everything was gone.
Because of I believed I trusted him.
Because I was stupid to fall in love with him.
And now the only thing I can do is try to forget.
I left our house, destroying it myself.
Burned everything to the ground, not leaving a single memory of him or us
I quit my job and my studies. I left everything behind and did the only thing I could think of.
I took the first train Home.
Back to the place where I made the biggest mistake of my life.
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid Because of you Because of you
Blossom closed her diary with a the remaining sounds of the song ,that she has been listening for hours, come to an end. She drifts her gaze to the outside world in the window, vanishing in a blur before her eyes.
Or are those tears,that she still cant stop, forming in her eyes?
"I wish it would rain" she said softly in a tired voice. As it echoes in the silence of her empty cart. She leans against the cold glass and closes her eyes.
Maybe if it rains she wont have nightmares tonight.
Author Again :
Well for now this is the first. Bubbles is next~~
Will be up later today or tomo~ If you liked or disliked it please do tell~~
and more information about this story can be read above or ask me directly :) Have a good day~~~