Standard Disclaimers apply to all of the characters from Inuyasha by Rumiko Takahashi and to the selected song lyrics of Alone by Heart. I don't own them, so don't sue.
AN: This is written for Moonlight Flower Sanctuary's Week 24 Prompt, Songfic.
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Introspection: Revisited,
By Winterwing3000
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He wonders if everything changed without him aware of it. He never cared for the passage of time. He has too much of it and has barely begun to live. So he spends it quite leisurely despite the territorial patrol and the occasional victorious battle against lesser demons for land. He never needed the company either; it was always their own decision. Jaken became his retainer for reasons beyond his concern. The girl, Rin, attached herself to him for reasons beyond his comprehension.
He cannot grasp the actions of the young girl; they were too trivial, too humane. His upbringing was too different compared to hers. Yet he was partial to rearing her under his philosophies and the ways of the demon world. Perhaps this was the reason why the old miko took custody of his human ward.
It was something decided without struggle on his part. The woman whisked her away the moment he returned. He merely looked at the girl as the old bat rattled on about the differences between humans and demons and said, "Rin, you will choose in eight years."
After he left her quieted in the village, he asks himself why but dismisses it quickly. He doesn't need a reason for the things he does. He never cared for the decisions she made. She was not his to dictate and her presence, or lack of it, will not disturb him entirely.
That was until Jaken and Ah-Un began their mutters and mumbles and when they traveled passed large fields of flowers, he thinks of her momentarily: the brief vision of her flowery crowns, of her smile, and of her checkered yukata.
This leads him to think of her. She is human and humans grow quicker than demons. And he wonders if she changed. She was one of the constants for a short period. During that time, she was no different from when his sword bequeathed life to her to when she left his charge. So he thinks of her health, of her smile, of the changes that she has to make and wonders if it was difficult.
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Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
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He visits her for the first time after a season's absence. It was to quell the thoughts of her changing without his notice. He brings her no gift but he promises her a second meeting, and a third, and a fourth, and eventually it becomes habitual. Every visit, he sees no change (same hair, same smile, same eyes) although she insists that she has grown by showing him the shortness of the sleeves and the tightness of the sash.
So he brings her a newer, larger, more elaborate kimono after countless of visits. Three more years and he still cannot see the natural metamorphosis of the human girl. It was until Jaken blindly points out how tall and pretty Rin was under the spring sun as she approaches them with an armful of medicinal herbs and her sweet smile upon her full lips that he realizes that she was nearing adulthood. Her hair was sleek, her fingers delicate and long, her curves pronounced, and her eyes innocently alluring.
It was an abrupt realization and he refused to return until snow fell. She cheerfully greets him but he quickly leaves when he finds himself disturbed with the changes. He finds his body reacting in ways he was unfamiliar to and cannot find peace when he fully visualizes her as he passes the blossoming forests and meadows of his lands.
He contemplates his reactions and finds it difficult to understand. It was not something a demon knows, but a human does. As he walks by the other woman's grave and he finds his answer.
He wonders if she knows it and if this was why she changes without him knowing.
Within two years, time and time again, he sees her. Her state of transformation stops by the end of summer and for that he is relieved. But his unrest remains as the words of question seizes his tongue and his throats freezes the sounds.
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You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight, oh
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone
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Now he waits for her at the edge of the forest, their meeting place for the past eight years. For it to have been eight years, he wonders why everything changed without him being aware of it. He wonders why he changed without being aware of it.
"Sesshomaru-sama?" A rustle of leaves and she is beside him.
"It has been eight years, Rin." He sees her brown eyes light with eagerness.
"It has, Sesshomaru-sama." Her lips curve into a smile.
"You have made your choice then." He watches as she bows her head, expression hidden by the curtain of brown silk.
"Yes." She stands up straight and waits.
Sesshomaru stares at the young woman with clear golden eyes and begins to walk toward the setting sun. Her footsteps mirror his in rhythm and he wonders no longer.
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AN: It's been a while since I've written song lyric-included fanfiction. I expected this to come out a bit more… happy. It just came out really weird and somewhat OOC on Sesshomaru's part. Eh, anyway, comments? Criticism?