Snow-wizard

A Modern AU with the three Durins. Hope you enjoy it and Merry Christmas!


"No Fee! That's too small!" Kili scolded the twig Fili had found for their snowman's arms.

"Yours has too many branches!" the older brother snapped back. The two glared at each other, clearly neither of them making a move to find a different branch.

"Maybe we should get Mum to decide," Kili suggested as his nose started to feel chilly.

"Mmph," Fili mumbled. "Fine."

The two youngsters rushed back inside through the backdoor and stumbled into the kitchen where Dis was busy preparing the table for their Christmas dinner.

"Boys!" she exclaimed. "Take your boots off inside," she eyed their dripping snowboots. "You'll ruin my carpets."

"Mum, whose branch is better?" Fili demanded, the two of them holding the broken twigs up.

"Why do you ask?" Dis raised an eyebrow as she set down the wineglasses for the adults.

"Because we're building a snowman!" Kili practically shouted.

"Wow, what's this I hear about building snowmen?" a voice came from the living room as Thorin walked in with the newspaper tucked under his arm and the boys rushed to him to demand the same question.

Dis turned away with a sigh. "Perhaps you should go out and help them build a snowman, Thorin," she said.

"Oh yes! Please, uncle!" Kili squealed in delight, forgetting all about the branch ordeal. "We need someone to put the hat on!"

"Well how tall are you planning on making it?" Thorin laughed as the two pulled him towards the closet where he donned his boots, coat, gloves, hat and scarf.

"As tall as possible!" Fili said with determination and Kili nodded in agreement.

"Alright then," Thorin said and he went to open the back door that lead into their snow-covered yard. The snow clumped at their boots as the three rushed outside.

"That's where we're gonna put Grampa Saruman," Fili pointed at a small circle of Dis' garden rocks.

"Grampa Saruman?" Thorin raised an eyebrow. The late neighbour of theirs, who was a friend of Gandalf's, had often come to celebrations, although he was quite a grumpy fellow.

"We thought he would like having a snowman built for him," Kili said. "It's like he'll still be here for Christmas."

"But I thought you were terrified of him," Thorin said as he bent down, balancing on his haunches as he tested the snow to make a ball. Kili shrugged and kicked at the snow with his boot.

"Will Uncle Frerin come for dinner?" Fili asked. Frerin, Thorin's brother, was a soldier in the army and was away across the sea as they spoke.

"No, Fili," Thorin sighed as he rose. "Frerin is at work."

"Aw," the two mumbled in disappointment.

"Now come on then," Thorin clapped his hands together, snow flying from his gloves. "Are we going to make this snowman or not?"

It wasn't long after when all three had rolled their section of the snowman. Kili was proud that his was the largest so it went on the bottom. Fili heaved the second one on top and Thorin placed the head delicately to complete him.

"Mmm," Thorin mused, wiping at his running nose. "We should probably give him some arms and a scarf. It's dreadfully cold out here."

Fili grabbed the two branches they had found earlier and Kili ran back inside to grab one of the old tattered scarves that had been ruined when Dain had borrowed it last winter and his pig got a hold of it.

As Thorin finished the smile on the face of the snowman with a few stones, Kili hobbled back outside, looking quite amusing in his thick coat and trailing scarf with… a bottle of whipped cream?

Thorin took the scarf and wrapped it around the neck of the snowman and stuck a few stones down the centre to make buttons but halted when he saw Kili frantically shaking the bottle with two hands.

"Kili? What are you doing?" he asked, almost scared by the dead-set expression on his face.

"We have to give him a beard!" Kili cried out with perseverance before flicking the top off and pressing one gloved finger to the top.

It went everywhere.

Fili and Thorin were covered in heaps of whipped cream, and so was the snowman. It wasn't much of a beard anymore, more like a mask.

Thorin was glad this wasn't happening inside and that with a few kicks of his boots, the whipped cream on the snow was gone.

Fili was laughing hysterically and wiped some of the cream from the snowman's eyes and Kili was muttering in disappointment at how the beard didn't look like the beard he wanted to.

Thorin couldn't help the grin as he straightened the scarf and gently took the now empty bottle from Kili, who was looking at the ground in embarrassment, twiddling the cap of the bottle in his fingers.

"You know," Fili said after a moment of silence for the wasted whipped cream. He looked down at the cap in Kili's hands. "He still needs a nose."

Thorin looked at his oldest nephew as Kili suddenly understood his idea and smiled gleefully, pressing the cap into the centre of the snowman's face to form a nose.

And with a top up of a Christmas hat, their Grampa Saruman was complete. Thorin pulled out his half-dead phone so the two boys could pose majestically and stoically with the snowman in the dimming light before Dis called them back in to get ready for dinner.

It wasn't until later that evening when Dis had brought out the apple pie for their guests the incident resurfaced.

"Do we have any whipped cream?" Bilbo asked from his spot beside Thorin and Gandalf. Thorin stopped in taking a bite of the pie and eyed his nephews who began giggling uncontrollably.

"I thought I had bought some, but I must be mistaken. My apologies, Bilbo," Dis said. "We do have some ice cream if you wish."

"You know, Thorin," Dis mumbled to her brother as she scooped some ice cream onto Bilbo's plate. "I found whipped cream on Fili's boots and Kili's hat in the closet earlier and an entire empty bottle without a cap in the recycling bin. Have any idea how that might've happened?"

Thorin smiled innocently and simply held up his glass of red wine as a toast to his sister.

"Merry Christmas, Dis."


A/N: Ta-daa *hides in corner because of the feels* I don't know what this was. It was just like poof in my mind. So yeah! This is what I spent my Christmas Eve writing! Hope y'all have a great holiday season. Maybe I'll do another one for New Year's or one that actually involves Christmas. Also I added in "Grampa Saruman" because, I don't know, I wanted to include something about Christopher Lee for this one. He was a great actor and still missed by many. It might be a bit random but I was in a creative flow~

I don't own anything from Peter Jackson or JRR Tolkien!

-Inspired Inspiration