To: Annie
From: +61487572651
Hey Annie, it's Eren!
'Sup?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Jaeger.
How the hell did you get my phone number.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Mina gave it to me! =D
You didn't answer my question, by the way.
P.S are we still on for sparring tonight?
To: Eren
From: Annie
I will kill her.
No. I didn't.
Will you go away if I say no?
To: Annie
From: Eren
But then who will help you hide the body?
Annnnniiieeeeeeeeeeeee.
Don't say things like that - you're making me think you don't like me!
To: Eren
From: Annie
What.
Yes?
Good. Because I don't.
To: Annie
From: Eren
...you know, that thing that's like "Friends will try to talk you out of killing someone. Best friends will help you hide the body." or whatever.
What are you doing?
And yet you're texting me back.
To: Eren
From: Annie
I don't have friends.
Waiting for you to go away.
Yes.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Yes you do. What about Mina, Reiner, Berthold, Mikasa if you count rivals, and Armin? They're your friends! And I'm your friend too!
Well, you're going to be waiting a long time then XD
That doesn't make any sense, Annie.
To: Eren
From: Annie
You're annoying, that's what you are.
...
Yes it does. You're just an idiot.
To: Annie
From: Eren
And yet you regularly skip your BIOL lectures to hang out with me.
What?
Is this some girl thing I'm never going to understand?
To: Eren
From: Annie
They are slightly more annoying than you are.
You have a lecture on now. Pay attention and leave me alone.
Yes.
To: Annie
From: Eren
See? I knew you cared!
...how do you know that?
Then explain it? Come on, Annie, help me out here!
To: Eren
From: Annie
I stopped caring at age 3.
Because you're loud.
Your pain amuses me, so no.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Wait, wait, wait a minute... I swear I've seen that phrase before.
What does that have to do with anything?
You're a sadist. You know that, right?
To: Armin
From: Eren
Hey, Armin, does "I stopped caring at age 3." ring any bells for you?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Right.
I could hear you telling Armin your schedule from the other side of campus.
I'm just a fragile little girl.
To: Eren
From: Armin
Uh... I think I reblogged something similar on tumblr when you were at my apartment yesterday?
To: Annie
From: Eren
Do you have a tumblr?
...so you were listening for the sound of my voice? XD
Yeah, and I'm Mikasa.
To: Eren
From: Annie
What? No.
When we spar tonight, I will punch you in the throat.
What are you doing with Jaeger's phone, Ackerman?
To: Annie
From: Eren
You do, don't you!
So we are on for tonight. Took you long enough to answer =P
HOLY SINA ANNIE MADE A JOKE.
To: Eren
From: Annie
Shut up, I don't.
Fuck off, Jaeger.
And?
To: Annie
From: Eren
I should tell Armin. Maybe he could find yours for me.
You know, some days I think Connie's right when he calls you a tsundere.
Annie, are you OK? So, Annie, are you OK? XD
To: Eren
From: Annie
No. You shouldn't. Because I don't have one.
Springer is even more of an idiot than you are.
SHUT UP WITH THAT FUCKING SONG ALREADY.
To: Annie
From: Eren
So what's your URL then?
Aaw, I feel so flattered.
But your reactions are hilarious!
To: Eren
From: Annie
I DON'T HAVE A TUMBLR.
No, I was wrong, you are the greater idiot.
I will kill you.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Then why did you use that quote?
Of course I'm great! I'm Eren Jaeger!
...so basically you'd become a Smooth Criminal?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Mina has a tumblr. And I have eyes.
I don't know why Ackerman hasn't murdered you yet. I hope she snaps soon.
A quantum supercomputer, calculating for a thousand years, could not begin to approach how much I hate you right now.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Oh. That makes sense.
You'd miss me if she did, wouldn't you?
No. No way. Is this a Sword Art Online Abridged Series reference I see before me?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Of course it does.
I never miss.
...fuck.
To: Annie
From: Eren
I bet you're like me. You sometimes think about getting one, but never go through with it.
And you yell at me for over-using jokes?
I never picked you for liking anime. What else do you watch?
To: Eren
From: Annie
I could never be like you.
That's because they weren't funny the first time.
You won't leave me alone until I tell you, will you?
To: Annie
From: Eren
That wasn't a denial =P
Are you kidding me? I'm hilarious!
Well, duh.
To: Eren
From: Annie
No. It wasn't.
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
...fine. Code Geass, Death Note, Bleach, Black Rock Shooter, RWBY, and Attack on Titan.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Sorry if this seems like a random tangent, but you're pretty honest, aren't you?
I'd like your help sleeping at night ~.0
You know, I've watched all of those, too. Did Reiner introduce you?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Lies are easy. Life is hard.
...I don't know how to react to that.
I introduced him.
To: Annie
From: Eren
I wouldn't quite put it that way, but I can't say I disagree.
A simple yes would suffice =P
Huh. Really? That's awesome XD
P.S I'm on my way to the dojo now.
To: Eren
From: Annie
Maybe you're not a complete idiot, then.
I think I will give my response in person.
I'm already there.
In another universe, the first thing Annie would have said to Eren when he arrived would have been "Solarplexussayswhat?"
In this one, she just punched him there instead.
To: Annie
From: Eren
So to be less of an idiot I just have to agree with you?
You didn't have to make it so fucking painful!
I had fun, y'know. Did you?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Yes.
I've hit you harder than that.
You are an adequate sparring partner.
To: Annie
From: Eren
But what if you're wrong?
Yeah, but that's when I'm expecting it!
Thank you, I think?
To: Eren
From: Annie
If.
That was another lesson. Not every blow is one you see coming.
You're welcome.
To: Annie
From: Eren
*Sigh* I'll never win this, will I?
You should sell fortune cookies.
Hey, while I remember, do you want to get lunch tomorrow?
To: Eren
From: Annie
You are a hundred years too early to be able to beat me.
Why?
I want to get lunch every day.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Seriously, Annie? SERIOUSLY?
You are a veritable font of small wisdoms.
...you know what I meant.
To: Eren
From: Annie
Yes.
How do you ever know words like that?
Why?
To: Annie
From: Eren
I will never understand you.
Ouch. Also, blame Armin. He had two things as a kid: a love of reading, and irresistible puppy-dog eyes.
Because you've been teaching me for three months and I haven't done anything for you in return. So I owe you at least lunch.
To: Eren
From: Annie
Good.
I have no trouble believing that.
...okay. I have a break from 1300 to 1400.
To: Annie
From: Eren
I swear, your superhero name would probably be Miss Terious.
Considering you mixed him up with Krista at one point, I'm not surprised =P
So do I =D Also, why do you use 24-hour time?
To: Armin; Mikasa
From: Eren
Annie agreed to have lunch with me!
To: Eren
From: Armin
Nice work!
"Eren!" Mikasa yelled. "I am literally downstairs. You could have just told me in person. Anyway, I'm still not quite sure what you see in her, but congratulations!"
To: Eren
From: Annie
That is the worst joke I have ever seen.
What do you mean?
Because I do.
To: Annie
From: Eren
You know you laughed at it.
Krista is basically the human equivalent of a puppy.
Annnniiee, tell me!
To: Eren
From: Annie
It was a chuckle of disbelief at how bad it was.
Don't tell Ymir that.
Why do you want to know?
To: Annie
From: Eren
Whatever helps you sleep at night. XD
Why not?
Because you're interesting, and I want to know you better.
To: Eren
From: Annie
I am not going to dignify that with a response.
Do you really want me to explain?
...ask me tomorrow.
To: Annie
From: Eren
But you just did?
Of course I do!
Okay, I will =D
To: Eren
From: Annie
To point out how juvenile you were being, idiot.
Fine. Imagine all the doggy-style jokes.
Where are we getting lunch?
To: Annie
From: Eren
*Sigh* Yes, mistress.
Firstly, how would that even work, and secondly, you have a terribly dirty mind =P
I don't know. I was going to let you decide, since I don't know what you like to eat.
To: Eren
From: Annie
Good. You're learning.
You're the one asking me about the finer points of lesbian sex.
Okay. Meet me outside your lecture hall.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Should have known you liked to be in control =P
Why do you even know about the finer points of lesbian sex?
...you know what lecture I have on, and where it is?
To: Eren
From: Annie
Fuck off.
Why shouldn't I?
Yes.
To: Annie
From: Eren
Kinky.
Are you a lesbian?
Why? How?
To: Eren
From: Annie
You must hate your solar plexus.
No. Would it matter?
I told you before. You're loud.
To: Annie
From: Eren
I think it hates you.
Of course not. I just didn't think you were.
...you've been stalking me, haven't you?
To: Eren
From: Annie
It's not my fault you're an idiot.
Okay.
No. Why would I do that?
To: Annie
From: Eren
Well, this idiot is tired and has an early lecture tomorrow, so I'm going to bed.
Goodnight!
To: Eren
From: Annie
Night.
"Hey, Annie, who were you texting? I've never seen you use your phone so much," Mina asked.
"Nobody," Annie said as she moved into the bathroom. When she came out a few minutes later, Mina had taken Annie's phone from where she'd left it on her bedside table, and was currently reading something on it - something that made her grin, wild and madly amused.
"No fricking way. You spent your whole day texting Eren? That is so cute! And to think I only gave him your number today - yet you're already going on a date tomorrow. That kid has game."
"Mina," Annie said, her fists not quite clenching, "if you do not give me my phone back right now, I will tell Arlert your tumblr username, and who has been sending him all those anonymous compliments."
Mina's face was the picture of betrayal. "You wouldn't."
Annie's only response was to hold out her arm, palm up.
Grudgingly, Mina sighed, and placed the phone in her best friend's hand, though she couldn't resist a parting shot.
"Well, at least now I know why you're always so eager to spar with him, eh? All that full-body contact—"
The rest of what she had been going to say was cut off by the strategic application of blunt trauma to the cranium.
Otherwise known as a pillow to the face.
I've never written one of these before. Was it worth reading?
Yes, Eren, Annie, and the rest of the cast live in Australia (my phone gives the area codes of new numbers until I add them to my contacts, so that's what Annie's does). You're welcome to come here and try and take them away =P
Also, yes, they all text in full sentences - because I do, and because I could never write an entire story in text-speak. My brain would die.
Oh, and in case anyone didn't notice, yes, Annie refers to Eren as 'Jaeger', but saves him in her phone as Eren. I assure you there are reasons for that; I think the 'text' of the story more-than-hints at them.