- 1683 -

Serva me, servabo te...

Not even the plague could kill the dreamy wanderlust in Feliciano's eyes. Nothing could, Gabriel swore. Turks, diseases, death, the ominous feeling that Vienna was facing its last hour as war raged outside the walls - Feliciano's only reaction to all those realities was to pull his cloak closer to his frail frame, fingers digging deeper into the rich cloth as he shivered from fever.

Did Feliciano know why Roderich had demanded Gabriel to bring him to the church?

To check on Antonio's health, yes, but Gabriel suspected that Feliciano didn't know the ulterior motives at play; or how angrily Gabriel had argued with Roderich about the decision. Or how badly the argument became when Elizabeta stepped in on Gabriel's side. Or how the cruel words Roderich used stung worse than any slap the man could've given him. And certainly, Feliciano didn't know how much Gabriel cried afterwards, scared of Roderich, of the Turks, and for all of their lives.

If Feliciano knew any of those terrible things, it didn't show.

"Look at those clothes. He's definitely English," Feliciano observed quietly, pointing at a man nearby who was on his knees, touching the face on an unmoving girl. The priest standing over was reading from a familiarly thick book. At that point, instincts suddenly took over and Gabriel clasped his hand over Feliciano's, giving it a long, protective squeeze. A weak laugh escaped from Feliciano's dry lips as he returned the gesture. You could tell he was a singer by his laugh, Gabriel thought. The only beings with such pure and delightful tones were singers and God's angels.

"I wonder what life is like in England. I heard there, you can get on a boat and travel across the ocean for a small fee, to the lands beyond. I think we should go together someday, especially because Grandpa's never been there," Feliciano continued. He kept up the feverish talk, seemingly unaware of the calamities surrounding them. Gabriel was only half listening to Feliciano's prattle as he watched another nearby priest drape a covering over someone's corpse. It was a small corpse, and Gabriel's stomach twisted to think that the person might not have even been older than Feliciano or himself.

No older than fifteen, they were already dead.

"Just you, Grandpa, and I. Who knows what we'll find there?" Feliciano coughed as he finished his sentence, and the noise brought Gabriel back to attention. A sense of alarm took over.

With the exception of his foul mouth, Lovino had sounded the same way the evening before he died: that sickly cough paired with too-pale skin and a tired voice. Despite himself, Gabriel found himself wondering if Feliciano's body was swelling under all the fabric covering him, and if so, if his friend were hiding those lumps on purpose. Nevertheless, he wrapped the cloak tighter around Feliciano to keep him warm,making sure not to let go of his hand.

"Recover first," Gabriel said sternly. It came out colder than he expected, and he quickly added, "I don't want you to be sick when we finally decide to go somewhere else."

"Alright, alright. I do want to get sick if we go East, though," Feliciano laughed, closing his eyes and leaning back into the wall. "I wonder if Grandpa was right about all of their strange medicines. Don't you think it would be interesting to try them? Oh, did you also know that they don't believe in God there? Grandpa said he knows a man from the East, that they're good friends. He said he would take me there to meet him one day. I'm sure you could come with me, Grandpa would be more than happy to take you too."

"You're ridiculous." That was what Gabriel had told Feliciano the first time they spoke, on that chilly autumn day when Roderich decided that Gabriel needed to learn how to sing. He had thought all of Feliciano's dreams were silly, unrealistic, and that no matter what, they wouldn't really come true.

Gabriel was still hoping to be proven wrong.

Now, carefully choosing his words, Gabriel replied. "You're too imaginative."

The line between imaginative and ridiculous was crossed somewhere. Feliciano just happened to walk between the two on the path of optimism. In the short time they had been friends, that was something Gabriel had managed to understand.

There were some people in the world, it seemed, who spoke of the world as if it were beautiful. Feliciano was one of those very people.

"Everyone has a strong imagination. We all just think of different things," Feliciano said. His dimples became prominent as a smile split across his face, some of the rosiness returning to his cheeks. "Don't you agree? Roderich loves music, Elizabeta loves sewing, I love singing, and you love painting. You know, you should paint more! Are you working on a painting at the moment?"

"I've been busy lately," Gabriel answered quickly. He wasn't sure if Feliciano picked up on the white lie, since his friend only yawned and nodded in reply.

Gabriel did have a painting hidden away inside of Elizabeta's wardrobe. It was carefully placed between her old nightgowns, he remembered, under the yellow one and on top of the blue one. The woman had given him permission to stow it there after he explained to her that it was a surprise gift for Feliciano, and that it would take longer to complete since he wanted to paint both Feliciano and Lovino this time.

Lovino remained unfinished. His spot in the painting would just be an awkward blur of colours next to Feliciano's smiling figure, and Gabriel couldn't stand giving Feliciano such a cruel gift. Neither of them ever brought up Lovino after the morning they realised he had died, and like that, the boy had ceased to exist in their conversations.

"I think you would like it if we went south, across the sea. There's sand everywhere and the sun's bright, the perfect place for you to relax and paint. Don't you ever want to travel and go everywhere?" Feliciano asked. His voice was softer now, sleepy, almost. In response, Gabriel gave Feliciano a quick kiss on the cheek when he made sure nobody was looking. It earned him another laugh from his friend.

"I'd travel if you came too," Gabriel said. Behind him, he could hear a woman's wails suddenly breaking through over the muttering of the priests. He bit on his tongue, refusing to turn around. "Which means I most definitely will. There's no chance that you wouldn't, after all."

"You're right, you know me so well! I think I've said this before, but I'm so glad we're friends." The smile reappeared on Feliciano's face as he spoke and in that moment, Gabriel found himself in silent accord, the way he had been so many times before whenever he lacked the courage to say his thoughts aloud. He expressed his agreement this time by letting Feliciano talk to his heart's content without any interruption.

God felt merciful enough to let them meet in this life, and Gabriel couldn't ever be grateful enough for such a gift.

"It would be dangerous, but maybe when we stop fighting, you and I could go to the Turks' lands together. I've always wondered what it's like in their home, but I'm sure it's just as beautiful as it is here since they fight so hard for it," Feliciano said wistfully. The series of coughs that followed afterwards made Gabriel cringe.

"Rest first. I'll wake you when more people leave and so we can look for Antonio. We can talk more then," Gabriel said, entwining his fingers with Feliciano's. It made him feel warmer amidst the solemnity of the church, even though Feliciano's hands were anything but warm. "Roderich will be upset if we went back without checking on Antonio."

"You should sleep too, the church is usually full until evening," Feliciano said with another yawn. He gave Gabriel's hand a squeeze once more, as he began to drift off to sleep. "You know, I've always wondered what it's like in God's kingdom, in Heaven... It must feel different to walk on clouds, don't you think?"

"Of course."

"I had a feeling you would understand."

Even as he lay there dying, the wanderlust embedded inside of Feliciano simply wouldn't slip away with his spirit, it couldn't.

Dear God, please, show mercy on our souls one last time...

(A/N): I've had so many feelings lately and I just can't figure out how to express the admiration I feel for the purity of this ship, so have a drabble. Their love is something special... title is a reference, of course, to the song "If I Die Young". I have no clue why I used the name Gabriel, I think I saw someone use it to refer to HRE once and I liked it more than Otto. As for historical context, I tried to make it accurate to the state of Vienna in 1683, during the times leading up to the Battle of Vienna. Please correct me if I'm wrong! Ahhh I talk so much in these notes..Once again, I'm super appreciative if you read this entire work and leave a comment, you guys are the best!

-cyon