Chapter 1
'Ok thank you everybody and that's a wrap on the Doctor Who Christmas special and a golden wrap on the 11th Doctor Matt Smith!..'
Jenna stood outside the entrance to BBC Cardiff Centre and tightened the grip on the strap of her handbag. She was more than a little apprehensive about the whole ordeal. It was about four hours after Jenna had wrapped on the last scene of the Doctor Who Christmas Special and and that meant the Wrap Party. Well technically Matt's leaving party but no one called it that. Only thought it.
To be frank that just made it more awkward.
Another thing that was making tonight awkward was Karen Gillian. Nobody was going to twist her words. She loved Karen, they were good mates but so were her and Matt in fact Karen and Matt, they were best mates and as selfish as it sounded Jenna somehow knew that she was going to be stuck in the middle, between them talking about the days when they ruled Doctor Who. It sometimes felt as if they were closer but Jenna always knew that was nonsense. Matt loved then both equally she was sure... It was just so complicated...
A shiver woke her up from her daydream as she realised she was still standing outside the main entrance. She looked around to make sure no one had seen her frozen there in the cold before walking in, the rush of hot air immediately following in her wake as she made her way round the building and to the Wrap Party.
Even she was calling it a Wrap Party...
The BBC looked empty at this time of night only a couple of programmes running at this time and no visitors, the security guards the only people in the main reception. She walked past them, finding herself hanging her head as she did, slightly intimidated by them. They nodded at her nevertheless as she flashed her pass as the door opened and she headed down the corridors.
She could hear the music before she reached the set the party was in. She wiped her hands slightly on her dress in an attempt to make them less clammy. Then, head held high, she walked into the room; coloured disco lights and music throwing her slightly before she planted a fake smile on her face, greeting members of cast and crew, making small talk as she was handed a drink and pushed towards the main bar. She looked around as she talked hearing the commotion from the end of the hall before realising who it could be.
She excused herself quickly and made her way to the noise, smiling and placing her drink to the side. It was Matt. She knew it was, she would recognise that voice from anywhere.
But it was also Karen and she scolded herself as she realise her heart had dropped when she heard the Scottish voice. She was being selfish. She had a boyfriend and she loved him. She didn't need Matt all to herself.
She found herself stopping though, just a little distance off, just watching them. They were laughing about something. Karen looked so ridiculous laughing with tears streaming down her face and her ginger hair everywhere. She had to admit she did love the woman. Just a bit.
She giggled slightly, despite not knowing what was going on over there. But it was as if Matt heard her despite all the background noise and the music because suddenly he turned and spotted her, smiling.
"Jenna!" he cried over the noise of the music, as suddenly she was running towards him, Matt scooping her up and spinning her round slightly before plonking her back on the ground and hugging her tightly. "Hey mate,"
"Hi," she said, too quietly for anyone to hear but him as she nuzzled inside his jacket.
"Look I told you I was irresistible!" he joked as Karen laughed.
"You are far from irresistible!" she retorted.
"Well I beg to differ!" he smiled as Jenna poked her head up again, hitting him lightly on the arm. "Oi! I know! Stand on my feet!"
"What?" Jenna asked smiling, confused.
"Stand on my feet!" he repeated as Jenna kicked off her high heels and obliged. Matt smiled then as Jenna clung onto him he started walking back towards Karen, Jenna walking with him on top of his feet, giggling as she finally fell off.
"You two are ridiculous!" Karen laughed.
"Says the ginger!" Matt replied as they shared a knowing look and burst out laughing. Jenna watched them, determined not to be awkward.
"Just cause I remind you of the spice girls!" Karen cried as Matt smirked. Another inside joke then...
"Yeah ginger spice!" Matt laughed.
"What spice are you then?" Jenna asked lightly, trying to be part of this conversation.
"Oh don't worry Jen..." Matt replied as he and Karen shared another knowing look.
"No! Which spice would you be?" Karen asked suddenly interested in teasing him.
"Oh sporty spice!" Matt cried.
"You would not be sporty spice!" Karen laughed.
"Well you used to do all that football didn't you?" Jenna said.
"See! Football! It's a sport!" Matt smirked. "Thank you Jenna!"
"Oh don't even start you are not sporty spice!" Karen contradicted.
"Yes I so am!" Matt laughed.
"No!" Karen cried her Scottish accent coming strongly through.
"'No!'!" Matt imitated as she hit him playfully. "Just cause your too scared to admit I'm as gorgeous as Melanie Chisholm!"
"Oh! No, no, no!" Karen began before suddenly the music faded.
"Hello everyone," Steven cut through from the middle of the hall as he tapped his glass loudly to shut everyone up. "Matt?" he asked as Matt walked to the middle taking one of the two microphones Steven had. "Right well I'm going to say this hopefully like a man and not burst into tears myself!" he started as laughter echoed across the room. "As we all know it's Matt's last day today and I feel sort of sentimental about the whole thing. Me and Matt started off together, I was the new runner of the show, Matt the new Doctor and frankly between us we had no experience! We were beginning to ask questions such as 'will this ever work?' And I'm sure most of you were as well!" Steven said as the tension faded from the group. "And I'm happy to say that, Yes! Yes it did and I have to thank Matt for making it work with me and for... For being the Doctor. So thank you. Thank you Matt. Round of applause!" he finished brushing away the single tear rolling down his cheek as Matt patted him on the back, just managing to keep it together himself...
Jenna watched finding herself battling tears as she blinked wildly and clapped. She didn't want Matt to go and strange denial she'd been in made it harder to admit.
He was going...
Strange doubts had only just begun to cross her mind though. Questions of weather he would miss her. He'd admitted that he'd begun to wonder weather he should have done another year, maybe even with David but they were never more than just thoughts and now it was too late. She was truly going to miss him more than she knew she did now. Weather or not he would miss her in the same way she might never know... She hoped so though...
"Speech! Speech!" Karen suddenly cried as other members of the set and crew joined in and Matt laughed, holding his hands up to quieten them down.
"Fine! Fine!" he laughed. "Don't expect it to be as good as Moffat's though! Could you just go and write me a speech? Yeah thanks mate!" Matt joked with Steven before turned back to the group. "Well Of corse I have everyone to thank for this amazing, incredible experience. Steven of corse and the cast and crew, especially my co-stars, you're all amazing, Karen, come here you big ginge!" he said as she laughed and ran over. "And of corse, yeah everyone thank you, thank you so much, now I'll shut up before I start crying!" he finished as the party applauded and the music came back on.
He didn't mention her...
Not like it was a big deal, it was one silly speech but it felt like a kick in the stomach to Jenna as Karen and Matt hugged wildly and she ran over to talk to Alex and Matt came back to Jenna smiling.
"Good speech? Hey I didn't cry! Much!" he smiled as Jenna looked up at him.
"Yeah, yeah... It was good..." she replied trying to act as best as she could. She was good at acting at least...
"Hey that's a start! What are you up to now then? Going back home?" he asked not noticing the emotion behind her voice. Jenna was glad of that although part of her wanted to break down in front of him. Admit her true feelings..?
"Yeah... Going back home to drop of some stuff and see everyone, Richard mainly, then coming back for read-throughs and interviews then I'm going home again for Christmas," Jenna replied not looking at him directly.
"Ah! That's something I won't miss! The interviews!" he smiled. Jenna didn't smile back for a moment lost in though as Matt frowned at her. "You ok Jen?" he began as Karen suddenly called him over.
"Matt come and look at this this is hilarious!" she cried as he looked back at Jenna.
"It's fine you go," she butted in before he could speak.
"Matt!" Karen called again.
"I'll be back," he smiled as he ran over. Jenna watched him for a moment as he laughed with Karen and Alex.
"No you won't..." she whispered as she walked away.
"Jenna!" Karen suddenly called as Jenna turned. "Come over here you big oaf!" Jenna smiled, walking back over to the group. "Oh God my hair in this photo!"
"I can't believe you brought your phone to my leaving party!" Matt cried, the words 'leaving party' stinging Jenna more than she'd anticipated.
"It's a camera phone! Stop being such a spoil sport!" Karen cried in reply before turning back and showing the group a picture of her and Matt that she must have taken before Jenna got there. "Isn't this like when me and you, Matt, were in Cardiff town centre?"
"Oh yeah! That was a laugh!" Matt smirked.
"Yeah and we me these..." Karen started.
"Fans!" Matt and Karen cried together before bursting into laughter. "With the orange hats!"
"And they were like..." Karen began explaining to the rest of them as Jenna phased out. Matt was staring at Karen, Karen at the photo. Their memories... Jenna felt almost like an intruder.
She didn't want to see Matt so happy. She wanted him to cry, to be upset, to not want to leave. She wanted him to feel how she felt...
She felt so selfish but it wasn't fair it just wasn't fair...
"Jenna? Jenna!" Matt asked bringing her out of her daydream. "Are you sure your ok? You've been staring into space for the last ten minutes and I know that Kazza is boring, trust me, but-"
"Oi!" Karen interrupted as Jenna came back into life.
"No I'm fine I just need to..." she started, excusing herself, before walking calmly off until she was out of sight of the others, then beginning to run, only letting the tears come when she was fully outside the building. Matt watched her go, his eyes narrowing slightly with worry and confusion.
Something was wrong...
Xoxo
The cold air hit Jenna roughly as she stepped into the night but she adjusted quickly and walked over to a bench nearby. It was too stuffy in there... She just needed to clear her head...
She sat down leaning back and wiping the tears from her eyes sighing. She's didn't know what to do anymore... She would be fine maybe in the next week? But at the moment she was lost...
"Jenna?" a voice asked from the distance as Jenna turned her head. She just wanted to be alone.
Matt...
He spotted her as she sat up and he walked up to where she was, sitting beside her and wrapping an arm round her.
She didn't want to be alone of corse she didn't want to be. She leaned into him, lifting her, still bear feet, up onto the bench as well, letting her hair cover her face as he kissed her on the forehead. She would treasure that kiss...
"What's up? Hey?" he asked softly into her hair. "Your shivering," he said as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. Jenna knew she wasn't really shivering. She was shaking. But that didn't matter. Not anymore.
"I'm ok..." she protested her voice breaking slightly as she laughed.
"I've been ignoring you haven't I?" he smiled genuinely. "Don't give me that face! Of corse I've noticed! I'm sorry..."
"It's fine I... Don't want to be a drag!" Jenna smiled and sitting up slightly.
"No! Your many things-" Matt started before leaning into her comically. "Short being one of them..!" Jenna giggled, slapnping him playfully on the chest. "Hey got you laughing!.. No I know... I am ignoring you, I know I am,"
"And that's fine, I'm sure you have your reasons," Jenna replied.
"I do have my reasons! Well my reason... You see Karen left ages ago. I don't get much chance to see her anymore..." Matt explained.
"And you want to see her now," Jenna sighed sadly. He wanted to see Karen rather than herself... That stung...
"No! No! It's not like that at all!" Matt contradicted her as her heart lifted a little. "Karen left an age ago but I'm leaving you today... And I don't want to leave you Jen, your my best mate. I've been ignoring you cause I'm an idiot. I thought I'd miss you more if I spent the whole of tonight with you and I'm right I will. But it's worth it Jen... You're worth it..." he finished as Jenna looked up at him. He was telling the truth. She could tell by looking in his deep hazel eyes and looking at the worried look written across his face. She smiled broadly as he relaxed hugging her tightly once more.
"Thank you..." she whispered into the cold night.
"What's up then Jen? Come on I'm all ears..." Matt said as she sighed slightly, resting her head on top of his shoulder...
"It's just..." she began as Matt waited patiently for her reply.
"What?" he prompted, his warm breath tickling her bear neck. Jenna smiled into him looking up as he stared down at her with a warm smile.
"I don't want you to go..." she finally admitted, breaking down into his shoulder, as the tension of holding it in the last few days escaped her. Matt sighed and at first Jenna thought it was a agitated sigh, a humoured sigh even... But it wasn't.
It was a tired sigh. Like he knew.
"Oh Jen... Nor do I..." Matt replied as she scooted further towards him and he held her there, as they stayed there, in each other's arms. Jenna wished she could just freeze the perfect moment. But she couldn't...
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hi! Well this is exciting isn't it? :) Happy 2014 everyone!
So basically I'm going to be updating once a week, every week depending on how popular this get (y'know reviews = more chapters :D) and it's going to be switching back between the present day and the times when Jenna and Matt were on set in Doctor Who if that makes any sense! Oh you'll get it! Lots of Soleman in this but-
Ohhh you'll have to wait and see! Any ideas are welcome so review! Ok it's God knows what hour in the morning for me so I'm going to sleep haha! Night x