Kallen's POV
When I first met Lelouch Lamperouge, I never thought he'd mean something much more to me. I'd merely thought of him as an annoying, little brat. I thought quite lowly of him. But, then came Zero. The mysterious man who declared himself as the Knight of Justice. Of course I was fascinated, I mean, who wouldn't? It's not everyday that someone with a black mask and a matching black cape strides through your city declaring that he works for justice, and are allies with the weak.
That Zero saved my life when I was attacked by the Britannia soldiers. I didn't know who he was at first, but I trusted him. Because of that incident, I felt like I owed him a debt, and I still do today. He guided me to the path of justice and invited me to join his organization for justice, "The Order of the Black Knights", along with other worthy canadiates. I became his deputy, his most trusted ally.
We had so many difficult times together, as a team, but we'd also had many victories, which led the Elevens to donate their most advanced KinghtMares, including the shiny, all-powerful, almost indestructable, red, Guren Mk II. I was the best fighter there, so obviously, the Guren Mk II belonged to me. I'd grew to love my KnightMare, even updating it to the Guren Flight-Enabled Version, and later on, the Guren S.E.I.T.E.N. Eight Elements. We would receive new KnightMares once in a while, after our old ones were trashed.
Sometimes we would just hang out and chill for a while, if the Britannians weren't on the move whatsoever. However, that happened rarely, so we were always ready to anticipate Britannia's moves. For a while, I really did like being in the Order of the Black Knights. I was even happy, even with C.C there. Things were looking quite bright for our organization; that is, before Zero betrayed us.
Zero, or rather Lelouch, said we were pawns for his game. Pawns, can you believe it? And here we were, working our asses off for him, only to be treated as disposable soldiers. I remember his words to me: Kallen, you are my most prized pawn. But, a pawn is a pawn. There should be no favourites at all. Right?
I had so much trust in him, that I didn't believe that he'd betray us, and join Britannia. I never would've believe what others said about Zero joining forces with that wretched country. Nor did I believe my eyes when Suzaku pierced through his mask to reveal... Lelouch. Everything was coming to me so fast, like my breath was caught in my throat. That brat, Lelouch, and this highly 'god', were the same person? No, no, this had to be a mistake. I glanced at Suzaku's face in exasperation, but only to get my worst fears confirmed. I'd also learned something vitally important. No, no, Lelouch didn't perform miracles as some might say; he had this power, Geass. Was he crushing our hopes by using trickery? Did he use Geass on me to make me loyal towards him? Did he tweak my own will to his use? I didn't know. Everything was so messed up; it was inevitable. At that time, there were so many surprises, good and bad; though I must say, the majority of them were terrible. Zero abandoned us. He abandoned the Order of the Black Knights. He abandoned me.
Yes, all of us were shocked, but we soon got over it. It was the reality. Why did you toss us aside, Lelouch? Yes, we understood that we were pawns for your 'game', but couldn't you at least acted like you cared about us? No, that was not meant to be. You've deceived us all, Lelouch. Why?
A year passed after 'Zero' faked his death. As bad as things may be, I began to look at the world from Lelouch's point of view. At last, I could understand what he was doing, and why he disposed of us so easily. I really did forgive him. As things progessed, I became aware of my feelings towards Lelouch. That night, when I caught him using Refrain, I panicked. He looked so depressed, that he tried to kiss me. Due to my feelings, I almost let him. But then, I realized that I needed him to be Zero, not Lelouch. I wanted, needed him to lead the Order of the Black Knights once again. He hesitantly accepted, and that was how we got out leader back.
That peace didn't maintain for long. During one of our meetings, somehow Zero's identity was revealed. I couldn't stand to watch him being scorned by everyone else in the room, so naturally, I defended him. But were my words enough to convince the rest that he is good, not evil? No. The worst part was Zero's response when I asked him what I was to him. He repeated the same words that he'd told me a year back. "Kallen, you're my most prized pawn." Yes, I knew right then that he meant it. No no, he didn't sugarcoat it; he just said it right out. That jerk.
After several failed attempts on killing him, it was time for me to step up. I argued with the others, especially Ohgi, about how much Zero helped us in the past. They all scoffed at me, saying I was naive, and that was all in the past. Yet, why do I feel like I want him to live just as much I do? The Order of the Black Knights had already allied with the Britannians, and were working together to eliminate a single person: Zero.
All of that cautious planning and procedures fell apart when Lelouch was crowned Emperor. Damn, I was more than shocked. I was flabbergasted. Lelouch, an Emperor? That meant...he was Britannian all along! He used us Japanese, and that was a fact, but for what cause? If he was the next one in line for throne, why did he make all of us - all of the Elevens suffer?
What surprised me, the whole Order of the Black Knights, was the fact that he himself declared a UFN, which stood for "United Federation of Nations." He was actually proposing a peace treaty. He who disrupted peace was trying to patch things up again by creating the UFN? I was appointed as an escort for him to the meeting between the leaders around the nation. When he saw me, there was no spark of surprise. I knew what he would probably do to me with his Geass, so I specifically ordered the Black Knights to gun me if I seemed like I was under the influence of the Geass. There was a moment of awkwardness before I finally broke the silence. I recounted history and the memories we had together, until I finally got to my question. After I asked Lelouch what he intended to do now that he was Emperor, he remained silent. I desperately wanted an answer, and I was so desperate that before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him. He gave me no reaction, which I took it as rejection. I stalked away after departing from him. You know, if he showed any signs of liking me back, I would've done anything, even as far as following him to hell. I was indeed in love with him. And he hurt me. Very badly.
After the meeting, I'd heard that Lelouch took all the leaders hostage somewhere. I never should've trusted him! Turning to the Black Knights, I vowed that I would be the one to take him down.
That was before I was taken to get executed in front of the huge crowd the next day. The whole organization was there: Ohgi, Toudoh, Tamaki, Chiba, Sumeragi, and the rest. I glared hatefully at Lelouch, who was grinning down on us in his carriage. Suddenly, the crowd gasped, and parted. Standing on a pole was Zero. But wait, wasn't Zero Lelouch? Lelouch was over there, in his carriage! What could that possibly mean? The Zero who was definitely not Lelouch, cut his way through the guards, as they tried to defend their Emperor. In a flash, he reached Lelouch. Drawing his gun, the Emperor tried to defend himself, but his weapon was knocked out of his hands. At the speed of lightning, the new Zero, Zero Requiem, stabbed Lelouch. The now former Emperor fell from his high perch above the automobile. Damn, I was screaming so loudly, residents from the other side of the Earth must've heard me loud enough to go deaf. Blood stained the carpet around him as he fell. Crap, I really wanted to go to him, but these fricking damn restrictions were holding me back. I remember screaming so much that my voice went raw in a few minutes. I remember crying so hysterically that the area around me became a large puddle of tears. Lelouch's death pained everyone close to him: Nunnally, Suzaku, me, and some of the Black Knights. Just then, I knew that he planned his death. I just knew. And Lelouch left me.
It's now two years after the legendary Black Rebellion. I am sitting in my room, racking my brain for answers to a math problem. I can finally tell everyone who I really am: Kallen Kozuki. No, the Kallen Stadtfeld everyone knows is long gone. There is now freedom in this large world of ours. Every has changed, every rule that Britannia has ever belittled us with are now erased. Heck, we even got our true name back: the Japanese, instead of Elevens. We Japanese now live in a country that is no longer called Area 11, but Japan.
Even after the whole event, I still haven't forgotten you, Lelouch. Not one bit. You have opened a new door for a new world where both Britannians and Japanese will coexist and collaborate together. This world we live in now has peace, thanks to you. Without you, none of this would've happened. We would still be fighting for our very lives, the peaceful scenery we see now would be a battlefield once more. Even if your body isn't here on earth, your soul is. I wanted to tell you so many things when you were still here, but I guess this is an inevitable fate. Some may say you died, but to me, you're always alive. In my heart.
Short one-shot story on Kallen's true feelings and her emotions on the Black Rebellion. I just decided to write this because I wanted to delicate this to Lelouch's memorial. I specifically chose to write in Kallen's POV, because it seems that she is one of Lelouch's closest accquaintances, besides Nunnally and Suzaku. I probably would've killed myself if I had to write this in Nunnally's POV, because I can't say much abut her. With Suzaku, it could've worked out, but I think it would've been more effective with a girl narrating this. Especially when the girl might be Lelouch's love interest. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this, and please...Review!