Hi! This is my first attempt at a Clara/12 fic but hey I gave it a go. The speech Clara gives in this fic was thought up immediately after I watched the first episode and promptly acted in the mirror haha! You may have to re read the speech as well it gets sort of complicated but this is how I think Clara's reaction would have been after the first ep. Review! It gives me hope that I've written something half decent haha! Thank you x
Haircut
"Clara..?"
The Doctor didn't know if that was a question or a statement or just him being... Nice.
No. That wasn't really him... That really really wasn't him. He wasn't really a hugger... Or a comforter... Apparently. So how could he comfort his companion who, seemed to be, completely out of the blue...
Crying?
What frightened him even more was when she looked up at him, the browns of her eyes faded over slightly, red at the sides, dark eyelashes stuck together in clumps as she wiped them, black streaks appearing on her fingers and she just stared... new tears clouding up her vision.
And he knew, he knew from the fond look she had written across her face, the small trembling smile spread across her lips, just why. Why he was so frightened...
"Doctor," she breathed as if she was half expecting half dreading his presence. It startled him somehow, bringing him to the present as he carried on looking at her, trying to figure her out... "I'm sorry just-" there was a pause. A deep breath, shuddering but calming as she properly turned to face him.
He nodded slowly, not knowing what else to do but not wanting to seem rude, to seem... Well his normal self. He wasn't going to say anything though, not that he knew what to say- that was new...
"It's like when you get a new haircut," Clara suddenly started, throwing the Doctor completely. He must have given her a look as well because she pulled a face herself, putting her hands to her face so her brown hair draped over. Another deep breath and she reappeared, nose thin as she breathed in, tears finished. "That sounded stupid didn't it..." she frowned as the Doctor shifted position shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Well... Yes," he agreed bluntly. "But-"
"No wait, let me finish," Clara cut him off, more deciding to herself, than shutting the Doctor up. It didn't stop him raising his eyebrows though.
Control freak...
"You know when you need one. It's not because you have spilt ends or you're hairstyle is boring or whatever but because it's time. It's time for a change. And you know that so... you get it cut. Really short, something drastic because somehow it has to happen. And it's fine, it's cool, it's nice! Takes time to adjust but you do, people do... because it had to happen, it wanted to happen. And you're better for it... You are, you really are... But then, one day you'll be doing something, something stupidly, stupidly... Mundane! You'll be watching tv or, or doing the dishes! Or something! And suddenly you'll miss it like hell... You want it back..."
"Your hair?.." the Doctor asked, just about grasping his best friends frankly awful metaphor...
"Yes your hair!" Clara snapped back before taking another deep breath as the Doctor raised his eyebrows once more. "Wait no! Shut up!"
Bossy...
Clara placed her hand under her nose as she took another lungful of air. "But you can't," she said looking up at him smiling. "And you don't want to. Never... Still you want your hair back but that's just sentimental because you can't think like that in life, you have to keep moving. And you want to, I want to. I don't want my hair back. I miss it but I still have it. My hair hasn't changed. It's still the same hair. Just looks different..."
"Just to be clear. We're not talking about hair are we?" the Doctor asked, almost confused...
"No..." Clara sighed before smiling and shaking her head.
"You haven't had it cut... Have you?" he asked, staring at it, avoiding the obvious...
"You! It was about you!" she finally burst hoping that anything, just something went in...
And the Doctor thought. And he went back. And he re-thought. And he realised. And he smiled...
"I wonder why you chose to use your hair..." he muttered.
"Oi!" Clara cried, the Doctor flicking one hand up in the air.
"Shall we go?" he asked softly... Ish... as she nodded smiling, tears gone. Back to normal.
"I see you," she whispered, looking down at the floor as he smiled.
"My Clara..." he whispered back.
And of corse he was frightened! Because as rubbish and vain and Clara... that metaphor was, when it came to how he felt about his companion, their relationship as his younger self...
It fit perfectly... And how could he tell her that?..