Hold me one last time before I die
by: yugioh-fan88

Summary: Years after the shaman fights, Ren learns that his days are numbered. Everyone reacts strangely to this, especially Horo. (Ren X Horo) (Yaoi!) R&R!

Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Angst

Disclaimer: Shaman King © Hiroyuki Takei.

Author's Note: This fic won't be very long. I am basing this after a dream I had. Read & Review!

Chapter 1: Shocking news

Ren looked out the clinic window sadly, tears rolling down his cheeks. For the first time in his life he was crying. He slapped the glass with his hand and let out a silent sob as the rain beat down against the window. Perhaps he was cursed. Whatever it was he hated it. It all started we he went for his monthly check-up at the clinic...

-Flashback!-

Ren walked into the clinic and waited for his turn in the waiting room, hoping this wasn't going to take too long.

"Tao Ren?"

He looked when his name was called and followed the nurse. It took about ten minutes for the doctor to finish his tests. Just as Ren was about to leave the doctor held him back saying he had grave news for him.

"Make this quick I have a life to live." he said coldly, leaning on the wall.

"Your life is the subject here Mr. Tao." the doctor began sadly. "We cannot identify that cause, but something is slowly killing you from the inside. We estimate that you have perhaps a month to live..."

Ren stood in shock for a moment before his anger flared up. "And why didn't you tell me this last time I was here?"

"You weren't showing any symptoms of this before now. We are sorry Mr. Tao. I suggest you get your life in order before you pass on. Write out your will, say 'I love you' and anything else you missed. I also suggest that you tell your friends the grave news as soon as possible."

Ren looked at the ground and walked away without a word.

-End Flashback-

And so here he was, leaning against a window, crying. Even though he prayed for this to be a dream he knew it was real. Nothing could have prepared him for the harsh reality the doctor told him... How would he tell his friends? They had been through everything together. To put them through such pain would be unfitting of a Tao.

Ren thought back to what the doctor had told him. He had his will written for the longest time but updating it wouldn't hurt. But saying 'I love you'... Exactly to who, would Tao Ren say 'I love you' too? He looked through his options, sticking to the boys since he knew very well that he was gay.

/Who would it be.../ he thought to himself. /Hao & Yoh are off that list already since they're together... Perhaps Horo.../

He sighed at that. The Ainu-baka Horokeu Usui... The only person Ren actually loved. What irony that he was Ren's only choice. However he had a feeling that Horo did not share his feelings. What a complicated month this would be...

Once he returned home...

Ren sighed heavily as he walked into the house. Everyone was home because of the hard rain, making it the perfect moment for him to tell everyone his condition and his fate. As he walked through the hallway he stopped at a picture of everyone together and gazed at it, lost in thought. All his friends clustered in a group after they had found out that Hao was good. Everyone looked so happy in that picture... even himself. He actually had a small smile on his face... and he knew why too. Horo had an arm over Ren's shoulder with a huge grin plastered on his face.

/Why is it... that just when things seem to look perfect... something punctures the happiness/ he thought with a small sigh.

Ever so slowly he walked towards the living room where everyone was watching a movie to pass the time. He really didn't want to interrupt a comedy with such sad news... but he had too. The last thing he wanted to do was keep this news to the last minute.

/May as well break their hearts now./

He walked into the living room and glanced at the movie before clearing his throat to show that he was back. Anna who had control of the remote paused and gave him a cold stern look.

"What?" she asked.

"I... have something to tell you all." he began as everyone looked at him. "I went for my monthly check-up and... it seems that something is killing me from the inside..."

A few people looked shocked at this and Yoh couldn't help but ask. "Did they give you a time limit?"

Ren nodded. "Yeah... a month."

Everyone reacted to this in different ways, like Ren expected. Pirika and Tamao almost fainted, Anna did nothing more then bite her lip, Yoh hid his face in Hao's poncho, sobbing loudly while Hao himself looked down sadly holding his brother tightly. Manta couldn't help but let out a few strangled tears along with everyone else. The only reaction Ren wasn't expecting was Horo's. Almost as soon as Ren finished his sentence, the Ainu ran off to his room without saying a word to anyone.

Silently Ren left the living room, leaving everyone to an unbreakable and miserable silence. He headed off to Horo's room hoping he could console his friend. He knocked lightly on the door only to be met with no answer and a few light sobs.

"Horo... it's me... Let me in please?" he asked calmly and almost sadly.

Scuffling was heard on the other side of the door before it opened an inch and Horo peeked out, eyes puffy. "Hi Ren..."

Ren smiled a little because Horo had listened to him. "Hey... let me in please?"

Horo gulped and nodded before fully opening the door and allowing Ren access to the room. Ren entered and sat down on the desk chair while Horo closed the door and went to sit on his bed. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes as they both tried to think of what to say. Both seemed lost for words, neither being able to believe the news. Finally Horo broke the silence.

"I can't believe that you're just gonna leave us in a month..."

Ren nodded a little but couldn't come up with anything to say... he was scared of his coming death.

"Look... even though you're a Tao you must be scared of this... I mean no one's perfect right?" he laughed a little. "So... talk to me. Tell me what you're worried about, what you need to get done, what you need to say. I'll hear you out, right here, right now. So talk." he said with a gentle smile.

A/N: Not bad of a start if I do say so myself. Tell me what you think. Read & Review!