Title: Sydpunzel
Authors: The SSS Club
Rating: PG, I guess
Summary: A parody of Rapunzel. Written in script form. Load of nonsense cause I did it when I was supposed to be doing my homework.
Disclaimer: Rapunzel doesn't belong to us. And you know Alias doesn't. Or else we would be sitting in chairs sipping sodas (not wine cause we're underaged. And champagne tastes horrible) with David Anders and Jennifer Garner.
Authors' Note: We didn't have a beta for this and our English isn't exactly that good, so we probably have a whole load of grammar and spelling errors. Sorry.
PRETTY LITTLE HOUSE OF IRINA & JACK
IRINA: Jackie! Get me one of those lettuces next door, please? (IRINA bats her eyelids demurely.)
JACK: ...er, no?
IRINA: Fine! Then I shall be sick! coughgetmelettucecough
JACK: OMG I can bear it no longer! I shall get them for you, my darling!
(IRINA stops her coughing)
IRINA: You do that. I'll read Vogue.
EVIL ELENA'S LETTUCE GARDEN
ELENA: WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. HERE? (steam snakes out of her ears)
JACK: But my wife is coughing, see?
IRINA: (coughs loudly)
ELENA: OMG NO! TAKE THE LETTUCE! BUT YOU MUST GIVE ME YOUR FIRSTBORN!
JACK: Yes, ma'am (salutes)
PRETTY HOUSE OF IRINA & JACK
IRINA: OMG JACKIE-O! SYDPUNZEL IS SO PRETTY! coughjustlikemecough
JACK: OMG I KNOW! JUST LIKE ME!
IRINA: (smacks JACK on the head)
JACK: I meant, feel the wrath of my stony glare! (glares)
IRINA: ...why did I marry you again?
DOOR: (is being knocked on)
EVIL ELENA: (barges in) I am here to take my little girl!
LITTLE SYDPUNZEL: (claps gleefully)
EVIL ELENA: (bends down) Coochie coochie coo!
TALL, TALL TOWER
(Over the years, LITTLE SYDPUNZEL grows up to be, well, SYDPUNZEL)
EVIL ELENA: Sydpunzel, Sydpunzel. Let down your hair!
SYDPUNZEL'S HAIR: (is being let down)
SYDPUNZEL: Careful, you idiot! You pulled the last one off completely and it got soiled completely! This wig cost $500!
EVIL ELENA: (pouting) But I paid for this one!
AREA AROUND TALL, TALL TOWER
PRINCE SARK: ( is passing by)
SYDPUNZEL: (is coughing)
PRINCE SARK: OMG WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COUGH! Sydpunzel, Sydpunzel, Let down your hair!
SYDPUNZEL'S HAIR: (is let down)
SYDPUNZEL: SORRY! BUT I TOOK THE WIG OFF! IT'S HANGING ON THE HOOK, SO DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU FALL WHILE CLIMBING!
(PRINCE SARK climbs up the TALL, TALL TOWER)
SYDPUNZEL: HI! I'M NINETEEN
PRINCE SARK: HI! I'M TWENTY!
SYDPUNZEL: OOH!
PRINCE SARK: OOH!
SYDPUNZEL: I LOVE YOU!
PRINCE SARK: I LOVE YOU TOO!
(make-out time)
AT NIGHT IN THE TALL, TALL TOWER
EVIL ELENA: YOU KNEW I WANTED SARK! NO FAIR!
SYDPUNZEL: WHO CARES ABOUT YOU! I'M GONNA LEAVE MY WIG HERE AND WANDER AROUND LOOKING FOR MY PRINCE SARK!
LATER AT NIGHT IN THE TALL, TALL TOWER
PRINCE SARK: Sydpunzel, Sydpunzel! Let down your wig!
SYDPUNZEL'S WIG: (is let down)
PRINCE SARK: (climbs up)
EVIL ELENA: (pushes him down)
PRINCE SARK'S BUTT: (lands in thorn bushes)
PRINCE SARK: OW! YOU EVIL WITCH! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU! I'M GONNA LOOK FOR MY SYDPUNZEL!
THE (VERY) SANDY DESERT
PRINCE SARK: (wanders aimlessly in desert, winces with every step he takes)
PRINCE SARK'S BUTT: (has thorns stuck in it)
PRINCE SARK: (hears a familiar coughing) SYDPUNZEL!
SYDPUNZEL: PRINCE SARK!
(huggies and kisses for all. Everybody now: aww...)
PRINCE SARK: OW! Do ya think you can take these thorns out for me?
SYDPUNZEL: Of course! With the help of my superswank!tweezers, I can do ANYTHING! (pulls thorns out)
PRINCE SARK: (gasps) YOU'RE MY HERO!
(and they lived happily ever after)
THE END
WE TOLD YOU GUYS IT WAS RUBBISH!