OP FTW?
(A/N) So as the title suggested, this is just some random crap I felt like putting out, something not as serious as the other stories I've been writing. If you're looking for a story that has a great series of events, interesting characters and clever plot line... then now would probably be a pretty good time for you to f**k off out of here. But, if you're after something that probably wasn't necessary to begin with or you just want something random to look at, then feel free to read on. So join me in this random, unnecessary, and clearly unprovoked rant of mine.
OP OC's (Mary Sue's/Gary Stu's)
The seats in the theatre were slowly beginning to fill, the audience members shuffled to their seats and mingled amongst themselves as they waited for the show to begin. Ponies and Mobians alike filled the room, which is rather convenient seeing as this story is located in the MLP and Sonic the Hedgehog crossover section of the Fanfiction website. The lights slowly began to dim and the curtains separated, giving off a view of the entire stage. Music cranked through the speakers and staged lights snapped to life, the host walked out from the side onto the center of the stage. The audience erupted into cheers and applause. Not because of who was hosting, but because they were glad the show had finally started after the two hour long wait for the author to finally write anything past this point. The host for the show was none other than Connor Jenkins, that human OC from the Sonic the Hedgehog side of things. Writing a description can be a long and daunting thing sometimes, which is why a sign had been placed out front of the theatre asking viewers to go to the authors profile page for a full description of the character. Connor made a cutting motion across his throat, signaling for the music to be shut. Vinyl Scratch was unfortunately to busy head banging to the beat of the music to see this. One plug pulled out of a power socket later, the music was finally turned off. Out in the audience, a pony named Bon Bon turned to her friend, Lyra Heartstrings.
"Why do you think Connor got the job of being the host for the story... I mean show?" She asked.
"Well Connor is Cheezel1993's OC, why else would he be the host?" Lyra replied.
Bon Bon didn't question the cliche behind Lyra's answer, that was because the author refused to allow her to do so.
"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, and whoever the hell else is out there," Connor began. "I would thank you all for coming out tonight, but it's not like any of you really had a choice in the matter." That got some nervous chuckles from everyone in the audience. None of them really knew why they had decided to turn up for the show, it was as if some sort of outside power had forced them to do so.
"So, Mary Sue's and Gary Stu's," Connor continued. "Where should I start. Well for one, let's go with the most basic element that makes up the Sue's and Stu's. Powers. How many powers can one person have? I mean, seriously. The shit these people are able to do just doesn't make sense, and that's saying something for a fictional being. They could just about wipe out a planet just by looking in its general direction, probably even kill an invincible god just because they feel like. If you are going to kill some enemy or another, don't just snap your fingers and turn them into dust, at least make it interesting for the rest of us. Take off their head, glue some mirrors to it and use it as a disco ball in the back room of some nightclub. Come on, do something that'll grab our attention. But why is it these OC's need to have that much power? It just isn't necessary. And it isn't just powers, it's the character in general that's OP. It more or less means that they're a pro at everything. Running, doesn't matter if they don't have super speed, they'll still find a way to beat Sonic in a foot race. How about flying? Five minutes in the air and they're already a pro at it, besting Rainbow Dash with a roll of the eyes."
"And then there's the other skills one can acquire. Speaking every language in the world and never having taken a lesson linguistics isn't something someone should be able to do. And don't make up fighting styles just because you want a few more ways for you're character win a fight. While we're at it, why don't we just go ahead and say you're an expert gardener and a qualified master chef. This shit makes less sense than Epileptic night at the Discotheque. I mean, come on. This all just builds up to create a very uninteresting character that no one will give two shits about. If you want a better character, then how about dropping a few skills and at least losing a fight once in a while. Even get injured for a change instead of coming out of every battle unscathed. And if you do get injured, there's no need for everyone mourn over you as if you were the only hope at stopping some sort of impending doom. There are other characters here, I'm sure they can do something. Probably even stop the threat before you're off your arse and back on your feet again."
Down in the audience, a male Alicorn leaned over to a red hedgehog, known as Scott, sitting beside him. "Man, this guy's an asshole," he said to Scott.
"Dude, you're an Alicorn," Scott replied. "The only Alicorns there should be are the Princesses. You're not royalty or anything either. And I didn't see anyone staring at you when you walked down the street the other day. You'd think turning out there was a fifth Alicorn in the world would actually be a significant event."
"Now don't get me wrong," Connor said up on the stage. "I very nearly turned into a Gary Stu myself. There's one thing most Gary Stu's have, and that's scars. I have heaps of those. Having a tragic past, you can check that off. Somehow surviving some sort of event that should have killed you? Eeyup. But that's about where it all stopped. I have no superpowers, my mind just about craps itself every other Tuesday, and I'll probably be turned into a pasty smear on the ground if I go up against more than one person who actually has powers. I can't think of anything else to bitch about as far as Gary Stu's and Mary Sue's go, so that's it from me peeps. I don't know what's going to be ranted about next time, but I'm sure the author will come up with something at some point. So until next time, Catchya!"
Applause rang out through the theatre as Connor waved out at the audience. He gave a short bow before jogging off to the side and into the backstage.
(A/N) Soooo... have I pissed anybody off? This is more of just me taking the piss rather than a rant. But it felt good to get it out there, haha. If you hated this, then please, give me all your hate juice. If you have any ideas for a rant, then feel free to PM me about it, I might even use your OC for the next one. But please, don't put your ideas or OC requests in the reviews. I don't know when I'll update this again, but I'll try to at some point if this gets enough attention. So until then my friends.
Catchya :)