The soft snoring made him feel as if he was drowning in his own room. Why on His green earth He thought it was a bright idea to let his older brothers out of their cage and to bring them to him was beyond anything he could think of. Sitting up slowly, as to not disturb the two at his sides, he slowly crawled out of his bed. His footsteps were near silent as he padded across the room and opened the small balcony doors.
The breeze was cool as it it him softly across the face. Gently ruffling his hair as if it were a tender hand gliding through the locks. He leaned forward, hands clasping the balcony railing so tightly that his knuckles went white. Looking down for a moment, the shining moon was blocked out as his hair fell over into his face. Tears dripped onto the cool metal railing, not making a sound as they hit.
Every time he shut his eyes he could still see the swinging swords and the lightening crashing and the blood seeping from their wounds. He could still hear the screams and clashes of metal swords and the screams. He's breaking inside at every moment and it never seemed like anyone was seeing it.
He sniffled hard, looking back up at the moon slowly, his eyes shining bloodshot because of his tears. Tears were still falling down his cheeks like salty rain drops and he couldn't seem to stop them. Roughly he shoved himself off the railing, stepping backwards a small step, hands coming up to brush at his chest. He could still feel the faint indentation of the hole that had been there only weeks previous.
Letting his hand fall roughly to his side, his gaze returning to the moon hanging up lonely in the sky. He didn't want to go back in there and get back in that bed, but then he did, and he wasn't sure he could keep pretending to be okay either and for once in his life he didn't know what to say this time.
The one who raised him was the one who had killed him, had Dad not been so keen on having him return he would still be dead.
Lucifer was not the brother he had once known any more. His anger and pride, the hatred, everything about him had changed and it pained Gabriel every time he was now forced to interact with him. It was as if a knife was always being driven into his chest and twisted around and around. He didn't need this any more, it killed him every time.
And Michael, his biggest brother was cold. He could still remember him being the tall softy whom would scoop him up off the ground and place him up on his shoulders, who would cuddle him and cradle him close to his chest whenever nap time had come around, when he'd been a giant cuddle bear. Every time he looked into his eyes though, all he saw was the coldness that had taken over, the cold commanding officer. The drill Sargent he had turned into.
This was slowly killing him every minute he was near it and yet like everyone else now a days, Dad didn't seem to care.
What was new? He was starting to get used to it.
And he wasn't sure what scared him more.
His head bent low once more as he slowly curled into himself on the hotel provided chair on the balcony. He couldn't go back in there, not yet, not so soon. More tears hit his thighs silently, not making a sound against the calmness of the night. His only blessing was that when he slowly started crumbling, started breaking in these dark hours that he could do so silently.
Rubbing at his face with his free hand, he sighed long and harsh.
But that didn't stop the new waves of tears.
The elder, Michael, woke slowly when he felt the slight movement of his brother leaving the bed again. He did not need to look over to know that Lucifer was silently watching his retreating back from where he was laying. After they watched as he silently made his way to the balcony, the elder two turned to look at one another.
"I don't think he's as ok as he likes us to believe he is"
Michael shook his head slowly, turning his attention back towards the balcony doors, the light breeze making the curtains flow in a gentle dance. A harsh sob reached their ears, and while they softly pushed the blankets back and made to stand they weren't sure what was more alarming; the fact that Gabriel was slowly breaking or that he was so adjusted to the first that he could do so almost unnoticeable to anyone but him.
They both padded to the doors, looking out silently as he slowly unbent himself from the railing, looking up at the sky, the moon, and how the gentle light cascading over his features made his eyes shine with unshed tears. He bent forward once more, tears hitting the railing softly as he did, allowing his hair to cover his broken features. He sniffled harshly, almost angrily, and shoved himself away from the railing roughly.
Lucifer's heart clenched when a hand wandered up to rub at the spot that he knew the indentation of his stab wound still lingered as a haunting memory. They watched as he brought his hands up higher, running them through his hair and clamping down slightly, before his hands fell forwards to his sides, defeated.
He took a step back, sinking in the chair that he didn't have to make sure was there indicating that this was not the first time he had come out here whilst they were asleep, thinking he was sleeping in between them.
Defeat was not a look that suited him.
Only when he curled into himself did they move forward. Padding softly to his side. Gabriel startled harshly when hands rubbed at his back and his hair. He should have known that he couldn't sneak around with these two, he couldn't when he was a child and that wouldn't have changed now. He was pulled forward, gently, softly, into someones chest. He didn't see who, he was far to gone to notice either, and he grabbed onto their shirt so tightly that they both feared he'd tear the thing at its seams.
Arms wrapped around him softly but strongly, pulling him closer as the sobs began rocking his body once more. Michael didn't say a word, not a single sound, as he slowly pulled his broken baby brother down from his chair and into his lap. He too was startled when the younger archangel fell forward and clasped onto his shirt, burying his face in his chest, the sobs pressing against his skin and tears soaking his shirt. Gut wrenching sobs echoe around them through the night and Michael turned slightly to look up at Lucifer, their eyes connecting for a single moment.
Maybe this was worse then they thought.
Much much worse.
Little did he know, that they could still see things as well.
Still see him shooting up in between them whilst they fought, not realizing that someone else was there, and as he took every punch and insult directed at the other without so much as a complaint against; better it be him then another.
See him falling to the floor in defeat even back then as their fights escalated.
How Lucifer could still see him, hear him, with tears streaming down his face with his voice hoarse from the sobs he'd cried begging him to just apologize and to just do as he was told. To not do anything stupid and to just give them a chance.
To not leave.
How Michael could still hear him, see him, falling to his knees in defeat after he had damned their brother for eternity, screaming for him to come back. For Michael to bring him back, to just hear him out, to just listen. TO give him another chance and let their brother come home.
If he'd known back then that his dearest baby brother was going to break this much that he had been breaking and he would decide to leave rather then stay with what was left of their family, his last words he's ever spoken to him would not have been "Grow up Gabriel, that thing is not our brother, and you would do well to remember that, to remember your place, you are nothing but a messenger". If he'd known he would have never have let his brother leave his side that day, it was only when Gabriel had been reported missing had he really realized what he'd done and what he should have done.
It only made it worse to know that they were the reason he was broken.
After what seemed like an eternity his sobs finally died down into nothing, and Gabriel attempted to pull himself backwards, but the arms around him refused to budge. If anything they tightened.
"I'm so sorry Gabriel, so sorry"
He stilled at the voice, realizing who it was now, the rough but gentle voice in his ear. He didn't respond, he didn't know what to say. Forgiving was easier said then done, forgetting was easier said then done.
"You are much much more then a messenger, you always have been"
Gabriel leaned forward, resting his forehead on his brothers chin. Michael shifted only slightly, pressing his lips firmly to his forehead. His love, his sorrow, was genuine and absolute. The lips didn't move even as he continued to speak into his temple.
"I should never have told you that, should never have said that, and I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize what I should have done, that I should have fallen to the ground with you, pulled you close and not let you go, I should never have let you go, I should have held you and told you how much you were loved, how much you meant, and I am so sorry that I hadn't"
The younger archangel made no response, as he was not expected to, but Michael was not giving up this time. He may have already lost him, but it would not be for lack of trying.
"Please, Gabby, please let me make it up to you, let me have another chance"
He should have said no, he should have screamed and shouted, he should have thrown things and fists, he should have caused them as much pain as they had caused him. But he didn't, he couldn't, he was just too tired to do anything but lean in closer. Michael took his movement as he wanted and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him tighter.
He stood, with Gabriel still wrapped in his arms. Lucifer backed away silently, knowing that his time was to come and that Michael needed this first. He followed slowly as the eldest archangel practically carried their brother back to their bed. He climbed in on the other side, neither saying another word, and wrapped his arms around his baby brother's waist as Michael gently laid him out in the bed, climbing under the covers on the other side. He let his hand slowly glide upwards, Gabriel let his hand glide upwards, and splay out over the small indentation of a sword wound, pushing a small amount of his grace into it.
When he removed his hand, Gabriel shot up in alarm (nearly hitting Michael in the face but they ignored it) and prodded at his chest; feeling nothing, no indent, not stab wound. Lucifer wrapped his arms around his waist tighter, his nose brushing against his neck.
Aware that in this instance, actions spoke louder then words ever could.
Gabriel leaned back into his embrace, pressing into his chest as they laid there.
Maybe he shouldn't have, it had the chance of biting him in the ass later.
But he was willing to give them a chance, to forgive them.
To trust them.
So the song is called 'Little Do You Know' by Alex and Sierra! Go listen to it! Its awesome and I think it ultimately fits their relationship amazingly! You should totally go check it out!
AN: There I took them down for you, are you happy now? Now you have no beef so please just leave me alone. You say your the mature one but your the one harassing a teenager.
But you know what? I don't even care anymore, my neighbor has a family member in the fbi and said we could try and find and sue for harassment but I said no that it was easier this way.
I apologize for offending you although you deny doing it to me..
So here, I promise not to upload any song fics WITH lyrics so long as you promise that you and your little flaming friends will never comment on another one of my fics about me being a cunt, moron, bitch, etc.
because if I'm not posting what it is you hate then your seriously just being mean and harassing.
Thank you.
FYI, I'm talking to you Catspats31 and whoever else has nothing better to do with their life but to call me names and threaten me and my followers.