Written after viewing a tumblr post about miscommunication as a plot device, a lovely story on the same post by squirrelstone, and a tag by tinyconfusion. Consider me weirdly inspired!
Rose was re-organizing her closet when she heard the front door opening, followed by the distinct sound of cursing in several different languages, not all of them human. Wondering what the Doctor was up to today, she stood up and dusted herself off before popping her head out of the bedroom door to ask.
What she found was a sight so strange that she momentarily lost the power of speech.
The Doctor had his back to her, holding onto a rope with both hands and yanking ineffectively. Attached to the other end of the rope was a- a llama, maybe? An alpaca? Rose didn't know the difference. It was, essentially, something quite large and quite fuzzy. It clearly was uninterested in entering the flat, as well, hence the Doctor's tugging and cursing. There was a battle of both strength and wills happening in front of her, and for the life of her, Rose could not figure out why.
"Er, Doctor," she hazarded, stepping closer to observe the questionable fiasco happening in her entryway. "What, exactly, is that?"
The Doctor turned to grin at her, the rope going slack for a moment when he stopped focusing on it and giving the creature an opportunity to pull back more- this caused the Doctor to be jerked nearly back through the door himself. Letting out a louder curse this time, he gained (a small amount of) control over the situation and turned back to Rose, keeping his grip tight this time.
"This," he said finally, "is an alpaca." He sounded very pleased with himself.
This did not entirely answer Rose's question, so she tried again.
"Okay," she answered, nonplussed. "Um, why are you trying to bring an alpaca into our flat?"
"Because you wanted one!" he cried happily. The alpaca looked suspicious of all of the talking- especially the Doctor's exuberant voice- and redoubled its efforts to escape.
"I- what?"
"I asked you last week what you wanted for your birthday, and you said an alpaca! I know your birthday was yesterday so I'm a little late, but it turns out that alpacas are hard to come by in London. That's why I gave you the earrings yesterday, so you wouldn't think I forgot to buy you a present, when in reality, I was just trying to find your actual present!"
Rose wondered if he'd suffered a concussion or some other head injury, because she was reasonably certain that she'd never, in her entire life, asked for an alpaca from anyone. "Doctor, are you feeling alright?"
The Doctor's expression fell slightly at her confusion. "Yes, of course! Why are you so… unexcited?" He looked a bit put out that his surprise wasn't going over well. "You asked me last Wednesday, I remember it very clearly. You were sitting right there-" he gestured to the couch- "reading that magazine-" he gestured to the coffee table where the latest edition of Rose's favorite fashion magazine had been abandoned when she'd finished reading it- "and I was in the kitchen fixing the dishwasher. Well, I say fixing, but I suppose that may have been the reason that we had to buy a new dishwasher over the weekend. But the point is that you sat right here in this very room asking for an alpaca, which I have procured. So why aren't you smiling?"
Rose glanced from the Doctor to the alpaca to the magazine and suddenly it clicked. She stared back at the Doctor for a long moment before bursting into hysterical laughter, leaving him confused. "An alpaca sweater!" she cried through tears of mirth as soon as she could speak. "I wanted a sweater, because I'd just seen a really nice one in the magazine!"
She could not wait to tell Jackie about this.
The Doctor's face had taken on a very comical expression- his eyes had widened, his mouth had dropped open into a perfectly round "o" shape, and his cheeks were rapidly pinkening. "Happy birthday?" he asked sheepishly.
Rose only laughed harder. She threw her arms around his waist, giggling, and rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you," she said genuinely. He may have been misguided, but he'd been trying to make her happy, and she couldn't fault him for that… She made a mental note to have a talk with him later about thinking things through before acting, though. Again. In which universe would she have ever asked him for an alpaca? That appeared to be a question he hadn't considered.
The Doctor didn't stop blushing, but his face did turn happier when Rose's lips landed on his cheek. "So, erm, I suppose we ought to see if alpaca breeders take returns?"
Chuckling, Rose agreed. She approached the alpaca, cooing at it like she might a baby, and it seemed to like her far more than it liked her husband. She gently coaxed it inside, wondering idly how the Doctor had managed to get it up the stairs, and shut the door, catching just before she did so the gaping face of the neighbor across the hall. "Maybe you should make a few calls, yeah?" she suggested with a tongue-in-teeth grin, pulling the rope out of the Doctor's unresisting hand.
He just nodded dumbly in return, watching her and their temporary pet before digging in his pocket for his mobile. His gob seemed to be failing him for once in the realization of his mistake.
Rose pulled out her own phone to search the internet for information on what alpacas liked to eat, shaking her head. One thing was certain… life with the Doctor was never dull.