A/N: I own nothing. TRIGGER WARNING. Contains mentions of stalking and rape.

It's hard to believe a year has passed, I think to myself as I watch the scenery through the cab window. Everything about the town we drive through looks exactly the same as it did the last day I spent at VGHS. The memory pulls at my heart as the cab slides to a stop at the curb, the sudden lack of movement disorientating.

"We're here, ma'am." The cab driver half turns in his seat, waiting for my move. I let myself gaze out the window a few more moments before I sigh and fish the cash from my pocket.

"Thanks," I throw over my shoulder as I hoist my solitary bag up and start walking towards the front doors. The outside of the building looks remarkably unchanged, statue, flagpole and random tables unmoved like the scene had been frozen for the past three hundred and some odd days since I last stepped foot on campus. In fact, it seems a little dead, seeing as I'm the only soul within eyesight. I glance at my phone and surmise that it's the middle of a class period. Naturally, all the students would be there.

I decide to head to Calhoun's office first as it's only the logical thing to do—and exactly step one of what I wrote down on my official 'Jenny's Game Plan' notepad on the flight over. I wasn't trusting myself to do this right by just winging it and felt like a game plan was most definitely in order. So, trusting my game plan, I make my way through the hallways, thankfully avoiding most everyone but a few stragglers who don't seem to notice me until they've come within a few inches of almost bowling me over. Freshmen, I contemplate. I can tell it's a sign of changes when my only response is a courteous smile and nod as opposed to the grievous tongue lashing I would have given them only a year ago.

A year, I think again. Has it really only been a year?

Calhoun's office, not surprisingly, looks exactly the same as it did before, with the only exception being the addition of a few new photographs. I smile as I recognize the one of our 32 player team from the infamous Napalm Bowl. The glowing looks on everyone's faces tugs at my throat as every little detail from that day comes rushing back.

I'm in the middle of regaining my composure when I hear Calhoun come through the door.

"Just what the hell are you doing in my office, student?" He says as he walks backward through the door, his hands full with his lunch tray and what looks like the world's largest coffee cup.

"Um…hi." I stand up, not sure of what else to do. Calhoun turns and struggles to keep from dropping his cargo when he makes eye contact.

"Matrix! What are you doing here?" He sets his tray and coffee down and straightens his tie. I raise an eyebrow, unsure of this new Calhoun personality I seem to be confronting. He clears his throat and looks back out the office door as if he's searching for someone.

"Are you the advance party?" He asks, his eyes still looking out the glass window.

"Uh, I'm not sure what you mean," I say, following his eyes to the window. He immediately looks back at me.

"You know, for the team." I guess my blank expression serves as his answer because he becomes exasperated. "Scouts! Did you come here with scouts? Investors, coaches, any of the above?"

"Oh. Uh, no. It's just me." I say awkwardly, sitting back down.

He sighs, then follows suite. "So then I ask again—what are you doing here, Matrix?"

"Well…I was kind of hoping to enroll again."

After spending an hour in Calhoun's office debating the finer points of why I wasn't in Paris anymore, I made my way back down the hall towards the dorm rooms and my not-so-new living quarters. Apparently the student who was supposed to be residing in my old room had been expelled already as he made the mistake of picking a fight against the best FPS player VGHS had on the roster. I have to say, I didn't feel bad for the kid, seeing as it got me my old room back.

I was trying to get the door open when I heard a scream from the end of the hall. Immediately looking in that direction, I was confronted by what looked to be a flying ball of red fuzz, until I realized it was just Ki barreling towards me like a madwoman. I didn't have any time to react before she collided with me head on.

"Jenny!" She screamed again, this time her voice assaulting my eardrums from close quarters and rendering them inoperable. I blinked from my spot on the ground and sat up, straightening my shirt.

"Ki." I said laughing, taking her offered hand and standing up. "That was quite the welcome."

"Well, obviously," she says, fixing her hair and tucking her tablet against her chest. Her eyes take in my duffel bag, and the partially opened dorm room between us before she looks back at me, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah…I'm kind of a student again?" I say quizzically and watch as her eyebrows soar higher. I can tell she's about to begin her next vocal assault when I hold up a hand in protest and point at the dorm room. "Can we talk in here?"

I drop my bag on the bed and collapse on the couch, watching as Ki closes the door behind her and sits next to me. She watches me for a few moments before talking.

"You're enrolled here again?"

"Yeah," I sigh, looking at my feet. The silence stretches for a moment before Ki starts in again.

"What happened to the Panthers?"

"It's a long story," I sigh again, this time meeting her eyes. "I had a late flight and haven't slept in a while, so I think I'm just going to crash for the night." She nods and makes her way to the door. She's almost gone before I cave to the voices in my head.

"Wait, Ki." I stand up and follow her to the door. She turns at the doorway and eyes me expectantly. I have this feeling she already knows what I'm going to ask.

"Where's Brian?" I ask, trying to will my voice not to break or stumble through two measly words.

She smiles and waits before she answers, almost like she's aware of how important her answer is. What am I kidding, she obviously knows.

"He's with Ted right now, questing. They haven't stopped playing Deathstalker 3 since it came out last week." She tilts her head and continues watching me. Wavering under the stare, I shuffle in the doorway before looking back at her.

"Do me a favor?" She nods. "Don't tell Brian I'm here yet. I want to go clean up and surprise him."

Her eyes light up. "Oh, I think I can do that."

I've been here less than two hours and I've already made a mess on the floor of my room. I look at myself in the mirror again, twirling to examine my outfit for the fiftieth time when I finally decide I've given up. This will have to do, I think to myself. I walk out the door and down the halls before I change my mind, doing my best to do absolutely no thinking as I make my way to Brian and Ted's room. Ki had texted me a few minutes ago to let me know that she'd convinced Ted to go out for pizza—without Brian, she'd emphasized—so I could have some time for just the two of us.

I'm at his door before I can give much thought to what my first words to him will be. I steel myself for a moment, staring at his name tag above the whiteboard which someone had drawn an elaborate dragon breathing fire on. "Questing!" it said boldly. I tentatively knocked on the door, the quiet sound of my rapping doing terrible things to the heartbeat in my ears.

I let a few moments pass before I convince myself to knock again, this time louder and with more force.

"Coming!" I hear Brian say from inside, his voice surprising me for no reason at all. The door opens and there he is, his face a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Hey Brian," I say, proud of myself for not getting those two words wrong. He looks at me a long while, then abruptly shuts the door in my face.

I'm halfway between collapsing in a ball of tears and knocking his door down when he opens it again, his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. I can see the redness in his cheeks and tell he's struggling to stay composed. I'm still trying to figure out what all of that means when he picks me up in a bear hug and twirls me out into the hallway, his laughter joyous and contagious as we spin round and round.

I giggle with him as the world spins, then finally stops as he lets me down gently in front of him. I lean forward and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I feel his hands slide onto my lower back and grip my shirt tightly, his face buried in my neck as he mumbles a few words I can't catch.

"Say again?" I say, still breathless and giddy from all the twirling. I pull his face up to look at him. He smiles sadly, his eyes wet and glistening.

"I said, please don't wake me up." His voice is thick with emotion as he looks me deeply in the eyes. I choke back a sob and then press my face into his chest, burying myself there before answering.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Brian:

Jenny decided we should go to her room on the chance that Ted and Ki would probably be finishing their pizza date soon. I definitely wasn't complaining; some alone time sounded perfect. We walked to her dorm in silence, the giddiness from before waning away. I wasn't sure if it was just me second guessing myself or if maybe I really had jumped the gun, but I was starting to regret acting like a kid in a candy shop earlier. It's been a year, I tell myself repeatedly on the walk over. There's no telling what's changed since we last saw each other.

Once we're in her room, Jenny crashes on her couch, leaning back against the armrest with her legs stretched down the length of the couch. I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to give her the wrong impression by distancing myself, but not wanting to overstep either. I settle for sitting at the end of her feet, space between us but not too far. I tuck a leg under me and angle myself to face her.

When my eyes meet hers, she's staring me down. I try to gulp down some of my anxiety, but her gaze is piercing and I'm afraid I'm going to wither away if I don't break the silence.

"So, uh…" I start weakly, scratching the back of my neck. I clear my throat and restart. "Did you want to talk about anything?" She nods, her eyes not leaving my face. I laugh nervously, not being reassured by her silence.

"What, uh—what did you want to talk about?"

Her eyes leave mine and settle on the door across from us. A few beats pass and then she sighs. I notice she's wringing her hands in her lap. I swallow nervously again.

"You know how we kind of stopped talking a few months ago?" She asks, her voice faint and her eyes never leaving her hands. I start to nod, then realize she isn't looking at me.

"Yeah." I know in my gut where this is headed but I refuse to acknowledge it until she says it out loud. She waits a few more moments, then speaks again.

"I dated someone in Paris. Just one. I, uh—I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did." She gulps, her turn to be nervous at the silence. I just watch her, waiting for the rest to come. "It didn't last long—a month, tops. We didn't end on a good note, either." She glances up at me, but I guess she can't decipher my expression any more than I can decipher the whirlwind of thoughts that pass through my brain. "Actually," she starts again, "there was some…violence. That's part of the reason I'm here."

I'm unconsciously reaching for her before I catch myself, just as she notices as well. She smiles sadly and nudges me with her foot. I squeeze it reassuringly, trying to smile despite the thunderous noise in my ears. Just as I think I'm about to explode, the crescendo reaches its apex and shatters all around me.

"I dated someone, too."

She's silent for too many heartbeats before she nods. I notice my hand is still on her foot and I squeeze it again, not sure what else to do. "It was longer than a month, but not much…I guess I didn't break away clean, either." When I look up from her foot, she's studying me. I'm focus on rubbing her foot now, the contact keeping me going. "I really tried to move on but I never did, I guess. She broke up with me when she finally realized I was a lost cause." I sigh, waiting for what came next.

"When was this?" She asks.

"Last week, actually." I glance up at her and can tell she's a little surprised. I smile thinly. "What about you?"

"We broke up two months ago, but…" She trails off, looking back at her hands. I squeeze her foot again to get her attention, reassure her that I won't judge her no matter what she says next. Her eyes slowly trail up to mine and when they do I realize they're full of tears, just waiting to burst.

"Jenny…"

"He stalked me. I tried to get away from him for weeks, but he kept finding me, showing up wherever I went. I changed my phone number twice, moved from my apartment to a friend's, then into a completely new apartment on the other side of town." Her voice is picking up in speed and I can feel a crushing weight bearing down on me from somewhere, like an impending sense of doom I couldn't name. I struggled to get ahead of it before it crushed me, but I had no idea where it was coming from or what it meant. "We had a late practice one night, and when I came home he was in my living room, lighting candles, like it was the most normal thing in the world." I realize I'm gripping her foot tightly and clenching my jaw, like I'm preparing for impact.

"He raped me, Brian." Her voice is faint and quiet, as if it's thousands of miles away with a dark and stormy ocean between us. Almost like we're on opposite continents.

The tidal wave hits me with full force and I feel my breath get knocked out of me. I can feel myself reeling, struggling to stay upright against the onslaught of emotion, the look on Jenny's face breaking my heart. As much as I struggle to grasp everything she's just said, I'm aware that every moment I go in silence, without response, is a moment she's already experienced alone. The pain I'm feeling cannot compare to what she's already gone through.

I will myself to move, and quickly, trying to show to her with action that she's not alone. I let go of her foot and reach out my hand to her, which she takes in hers without a moment's hesitation. Leaning forward, I brush my lips across her knuckles, kneading her hand between my forefinger and thumb, not sure what I'm doing but just happy I'm doing something. She lets out the breath that she's been holding and reaches out for me with both arms. I pull her in as she curls into a ball against my chest.

"You're safe now," I murmur into her hair, my arms tightening around her like I can hold back everything the world wants to throw at her. I feel the front of my shirt grow moist as she cries, her fists balling up the front of my shirt. I squeeze her tighter, determined that if I can just hold her closer then I can make all the pain go away.

I don't know how long we sit there, her sobs racking her body as I silently struggle with emotions of my own. The shock gives way to sadness, to anger, and then back to the beginning as I hold her tightly against my chest. Eventually, I feel her hands loosen on my shirt and I loosen my arms around her in response. She tilts her head up to see me, her face streaked with tears, but her eyes clear and sharp. I feel her fingers slide across my cheeks as she takes my face in her hands, my own tears there surprising me.

"Why are you crying?" She asks, her voice still thick with emotion. I shake my head gently, the words not coming out. She watches me closely, but I can't hold her gaze, so I close my eyes.

"I couldn't protect you," I say, the words falling before they register in my brain. I choke back more tears of my own.

"Oh, Brian," she breathes, laying her head against my shoulder. I hold her against me and let myself succumb to the waves.

Jenny:

The klaxon of an alarm blares in the distance, slowly growing louder until it's the only thing I can hear. I wake with a start, my head jerking up and my hands fumbling around me for whatever is making all that noise. I realize that Brian and I must have fallen asleep on my couch, and from looking out the window I can tell its morning, but what hour I'm not so sure. The alarm seems to be coming from Brian's pocket, so I gently shake him awake. He grumbles a bit, but doesn't move from his position. I grab his shoulder again and shake harder.

"Brian, you need to wake up." Another shake and his eyelids slide open. He watches me through hazy eyes for a moment until it seems to dawn on him where he is.

"Oh shit!" He jumps up from the couch and pulls his blaring phone from his pocket. He silences the alarm quickly and runs for the door, seeming to forget that I'm still here. He stops abruptly at the door and does an about face.

"I've got to go TA for Ace in a few minutes, and I was late for the last class, so he'll kill me if I'm late again." He starts to turn again, then changes his mind. He walks back and crouches in front of me, taking my hands in his. "I'll be back in about an hour. You want to go have breakfast with me then?" He asks, his smile contagious.

I nod, and he kisses my hands before standing. Throwing a smile and a wave my way, he opens the door and closes it behind him. I stare at the closed door for a few seconds before deciding to get up and unpack, instead of think about the confession I made last night.

It doesn't take long to unpack my single bag, which was mostly just clothes and a few personal effects, including the only framed picture of Brian and me. I set that carefully on my desk, then start hanging and putting away my clothes. I decide I need to make a store run soon to get all the stuff I'm missing.

I'm writing my shopping list when I hear a knock at my door. I open it, not entirely surprised to see Ki bright and cheery.

"Good morning, Ms. Matrix," she says regally, then steps around me into my room. I shake my head at her antics, then close the door. I can tell she's trying to find the most tactful way to ask how my night went without sounding nosy, but her silence is evidence she hasn't found one yet.

"It went well, Ki," I say laughing, her relieved expression confirming what I had assumed. "We actually fell asleep on the couch talking."

She nods enthusiastically. "That's great, Jenny. Did he tell you about—" she starts, then stops abruptly.

"Yeah, he told me he had a breakup last week, but he didn't say who she was or give many details." I sit back down at my desk and relax in my chair. She sits on the couch across from me.

"Well, I'm sure he will, Jenny. I don't think he'd keep it secret from you. He might just need some time," she slowly, unconsciously defending Brian and at the same time trying to play mediator. I laugh and shake my head.

"I'm not worried about it, Ki. I'm sure he would have told me last night but…well, we kind of talked about me a lot." I look back at my list, not quite ready to have that discussion again this soon. Ki seems to read this without me saying so, and looks at the list in front of me.

"Oh, do you need to go shopping?" She asks excitedly.

"Yeah. I didn't bother bringing a lot of stuff with me on the plane. I just figured I'd get it when I got here."

"Well, we can go shopping this afternoon if you want. I think Ted is busy with the drift team tonight, anyway."

"Sounds like a plan," I say.

"Good!" Ki jumps up and walks over to me, awkwardly leaning over to give me a hug. When she pulls back, she's smiling from ear to ear. "I'm so glad you're back, Jenny. Brian really needs you right now."

I nod and walk her to the door. "I'm glad to be back, Ki."

After she's gone, her words echo in my mind. Brian needs me, I think to myself. Aren't we a pair.

Brian:

I was about to walk back to Jenny's room when I remembered I still hadn't changed out of the clothes I wore last night. I take a cautionary sniff of myself, then change direction. God, I smell awful.

Once I've changed clothes, thrown on some deodorant and given my teeth a thorough cleaning, I head back to Jenny's. Not surprisingly, she's as gorgeous as ever when she opens the door. Jeans that hug her in all the right places, her shirt showing off her tan, lean arms, golden hair framing her face. I notice she's looking at me funny and realize I missed what she said.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you." I feel my cheeks get warm, embarrassed to be caught staring, but not nearly as mortified as I would have been back when we first met. She joins me in the hallway and takes my hand.

"I said, what do you want to do for breakfast?" She shakes her head and laughs. "You're such a weirdo."

"I can't help it, a beautiful woman opened the door." It's her turn to blush.

We head to the cafeteria and sit down with some of the FPS team. A few of the newer team members stare at her, but whether it's out of fear, awe or respect, I'm not entirely sure. Either way, I feel the urge to wrap my arm around her or hold her hand, just to show them the way things stand—but when I get to thinking about it, I'm not so sure I know how they stand, either.

I'm still debating on whether I'm being moronic or not when Jenny puts her hand over mine and silences my thoughts. I smile at her and she smiles back. Problem solved.

Jenny:

After breakfast, Brian and I made our way to the FPS classroom, which was empty. We both sat down at a station and booted up Field of Fire. We joined a pub game for fun and enjoyed messing around with some randoms, a few of which recognized our in game names and pestered us.

A few games later, we took a break. I kicked my feet up on the desk and watched Brian as he re-examined his weapon loadout. He's so cute when he's focused, I decided, watching him squint in concentration, his teeth biting the edge of his lip. After a while, he noticed my staring and blushed. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You know, laughing at a guy like that doesn't do much for his self-esteem," he said quietly, still tinkering with his character. I sighed and then nudged him with my foot. He leveled his gaze at me again. "What?"

"I want to talk about us," I said simply, not trusting myself with anything more complicated.

"So, let's talk." He closed out of Field of Fire and turned his chair in my direction.

"What are we?" I asked. The question felt stupid, but I needed to know.

"I'm not sure." He was watching me closely and it was making me nervous. I decided to press on.

"Well, I wanted to pick up where we left off…if that's okay." I add, not sure why I'm second guessing everything all of a sudden. Brian looks away and doesn't say anything for a while.

"I don't think we can do that, Jenny." His voice is soft, but his words are loud. For not the first time since I came back to VGHS, I'm confused. I'm about to ask him what the hell he means when he breaks into a shit eating grin from ear to ear. "We're going to have to redo that first date of ours. I recall our last one being ruined by your mom."

I wait a few moments before I punch him.

"Hey! I need that arm, you know."

Our first date ends up being to Endless Food and Fun, where we shove our faces full of pizza and play DXM for way too long until our thighs are tired. Brian drives us back to campus in the car he bought over the summer. It's old, kind of rusty, and the backseat has cigarette burns, but it runs, doesn't smell funny and has a radio that works. We jam out to music on our way back, and I'm mildly impressed by Brian's singing. He catches my eye when Crazy Girl by the Eli Young Band comes over the radio, then surprises me by singing along.

Wouldn't last a single day

I'd probably just fade away

Without you, I'd lose my mind

Before you every came along

I was living life all wrong

Smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?

I wouldn't dream of going nowhere

Silly woman, come here and let me hold you

Have I told you lately

I love you like crazy, girl

We've pulled into the campus parking lot, but neither one of us makes a move to get out. He's watching me closely, the song still playing its final chorus in the background. My head feels light and my body feels warm, and I know I've got the dumbest smile on my face, but I can't take my eyes off his. When the song ends, he turns off the car and the radio with it. We sit there for a moment more before I break the silence.

"I love you, Brian." I didn't know what I was going to say before I said it, but it came out all the same. He smiles at me, all goofy, and reaches for my hand.

"On our first date? A little early, don't you think?" I smack him playfully on the arm and he laughs. "I'm just kidding." His smile softens and he pulls me closer to him. "I love you too, Jenny."

Brian:

I walk her back to her room and open the door for her, but instead of following her inside, I stand in the entryway. She notices and cocks her head, a question playing out on her smile. I shake my head.

"It's late," I say, pointing at the clock. She doesn't look convinced. "It's also our first date, remember?"

"Oh c'mon, Brian." She scoffs, but she's still smiling. I consider staying, like I've already done a thousand times since our 'first date' started, but I still haven't changed my mind. I walk over and take her in my arms.

"We've got plenty of time, babe." I say, kissing her on the forehead. When I pull back, her cheeks are red. I chuckle.

"I'm getting good at making you blush. You must be out of practice."

She shakes her head. "I can't help it. You tend to have that effect on me."

We stand there a little longer, her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her waist. With a sigh, I disentangle myself and head for the door. I stop before I close it completely and stick my head back inside.

"Your old spot on the FPS team is open—assuming, that is, that you still want it."

"And school your ass again? You got it, BrianD." She says with a smirk and her hands on her hips.

I wink at her. "Only if you call me captain."

She's still shaking her head when I close the door behind me.