Just a short drabble to get myself back into writing. It's the first time I've ever written one! It leaves plenty to the imagination but despite that, I hope you like it.
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Falling
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Sasuke's at the door again.
He's always here, he always comes. We always fight, I always fail. It's never-ending.
His touch, filled with anger or lust, always excites me. My skin bristles when his punch lands. It tingles when his fingers brush my sides.
My resolve always crumbles as he determinedly beats me down. There's no need. I try to fight but it's never enough. Because I don't really want to fight him. I want his hands on me, his lips and fingers on an endless search. For what, I don't know.
I fall onto the bed as he pulls off my clothes. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. We're always like this.
I'm falling for him.
Inside I know it. Outside I despise it. He's relentless; his fingers prod into me before they're even lubricated. His body shows need, his eyes show desperation.
It feels like I'm there forever – in that place of pleasure. In reality it's short, so painstakingly short, before we're overcome by desire. And then I'm alone again.
His fingers dig painfully into my shoulder as his thrusts get wilder. It's not long before I see white, a white as blinding as Heaven's gates. But that's a place I'll never see. I know only because every time I see it, during these times with Sasuke, it grows dimmer. Sasuke, someone so overfilled with sin, always left traces in me. Every time he entered me, he took more of my soul.
He wipes us over with his abandoned top, lies down next to me and presses a soft kiss to my temple, then cheek, then the corner of my mouth. I look up as he hesitates, hovering over my lips. And as I stare up into his eyes I'm surprised to see something else there. Something that hasn't been forbidden.
His mouth moved, gently forming words that mean more than they can express.
He leans down and kisses me sweetly. His eyes close and his fingers brush down my neck. I smile against his lips and breathe the words that sound rehearsed in my mind. Too often had I thought them. Too often had I rejected them.
He stays beside me, holding me. He isn't leaving this time. I let my eyes fall, let the darkness gradually take me.
Because I'd already fallen.
And I'd be damned if Heaven were any better than this.