TC Stark: Hi, everyone! So, I decided during this long hiatus to work on a Blaine centered story. This takes place around the time in S2 *spoilers* when Blaine captured by Mr. Boss and "killed". This is an AU that deviates from that stepping off point, with some aspects of the canon timeline incorporated. I do use an OC - Lexi - who I've used in other stories before.

This story is rated M for adult content & is featured on Archive of Our Own as I don't know how much I'll get away with here, as I hate censoring. The story is also on / and if you like this story, let me know either via reviews on here or my Twitter handle TC_Stark and you can find my page on FB "TC Stark"

Ok, long winded intro done, let's do this!

Disclaimer: This story is Rated Me, contains spoilers, and I do not own anything except Lexi!

Chapter One

Blaine always mocked the idea of death. Even as a younger man, so much of what he did could have easily led to his demise. Drinking and driving, taking massive amounts of drugs, and just countless things that showed he truly didn't value his life. When he had become a zombie, he even bragged about being undead - told others to accept that they were no longer alive, and had even killed many, in his pursuit to his useless throne.

After having his throat slit by the man he thought he could outsmart, Blaine slowly began to realize that death was no laughing matter. Even that, he had somehow survived. Blaine had been talking so much about how wonderful it was to be a zombie and suddenly he was one again. Only, there wasn't the allure of immortality this time - only emanate death that was promised due to a side effect of the cure.

Suddenly, death wasn't so appealing. As he coughed his way through another meal and took a glance at his faithful servants, he realized how pathetic and weak it actually was. Not too long ago, they had a thriving business. Selling brains was meant to put cash in their pockets and getting into the Utopium trade was meant to make them kings. Now, he wanted nothing to do with the drug and feeding zombies was a matter of ethics and not earning cash. Morale was low around the funeral home that was for sure.

That day, Blaine had picked out his casket. It had been something he had been through a dozen times with his clients, but picking one out for himself had been a disheartening task indeed. He felt no comfort, as he always thought he provided for others. There was no one to walk him through. Take his hand; make it seem like it was just another journey. It wasn't a step in life - it was the end.

Being so close to death, Blaine realized there were a few things he had wanted to get in order. There was choosing his casket, giving Don E and Chief the pass codes to every bank account and his list of zombie clients. That was all business though. There was something personal he needed to take care of before going off to that great big whatever in the sky.

Sitting in the dark one night, after having his last known friends leave for the day, Blaine sat at his desk. A bottle of wine that he couldn't properly taste and a bottle of Bloody Mary mix - extra spicy - to the side of it. Disgusting. But, he digressed. Staring at his phone, he scrolled through the list of people, realizing so many were drug dealers, murderers, and anything in between. What had really happened to his life?

Coming upon the name Lexi Blaine sat there for a moment, staring at the name and the number. It was one he hadn't bothered calling in three years, yet for some reason had kept in his phone book. It wouldn't make sense to hold onto someone's number that he had had a falling out with. In the span of three years, he had changed phones and numbers so many times. Yet, with each one...hers was the first to be entered in.

Letting out a sigh, Blaine groaned to himself, "Suck it up, man, you'll be dead soon."

With those words of encouragement, Blaine pressed the call button and put the phone up to his ear, "The number you have reached is not in service anymore…"

The automated message continued for a few more seconds, but Blaine hadn't heard any of it. All he had heard was the sound of any hope of making peace with his childhood friend shattering. A woman who he had known since she was eight and he was twelve, when their rich fathers had first struck a deal with each other. A woman who he had shared countless hours playing with, watching TV, listening to music, and traveling with. A woman who he never got to tell how he felt about and who he had cursed, yelled, and called every name in the book when she told him she was marrying a known woman beater.

Putting his face in his hands, Blaine hunched over his desk and allowed himself to do something that he had only felt like doing a few times in his life. When his mother died, when he had to kill his grandfather, and when it seemed like Mr. Boss had finally won. He wept at the knowledge of dying alone.

Ravi and Liv were hard at work, as usual; when Blaine walked into the morgue. They really needed better security. But, seeing the criminal step in was nothing new and considering he was essentially their lab rat, they didn't care. Major for some reason hadn't turned back yet - perhaps for the reason he had never been a zombie for long or hadn't touched brains, before being cured.

Though, any witty remark they had for him was quelled when they saw how sickly he looked and how much he was coughing. Liv cleared her throat and greeted him with a simple hello, before Blaine was handing her a piece of paper, "I know you can use your fancy police resources - I need the address of this woman."

"Stalking women now?" Liv tutted, before gawking at the paper, "Blaine, you want me to find Lexi Sincerbeaux? No! I'm not going to find where the daughter of one of the biggest hotel brand's lives so you can sell her brain!"

"I'm NOT selling her brain! I want to find her, so I can talk to her."

Ravi snorted, "Why?"

Feeling pestered, Blaine irritably responded, "I know you two think my last name is Debeers, but it's McDonough. Like Blaine McDonough, of the McDonough family - like Angus McDonough. Our fathers knew each other, we were friends, we haven't spoken in three years and I'd like to make up with her before I kick the big one. Now, does that appeal to your bleeding hearts or do I really need to go full soap opera?"

Exchanging glances momentarily, Liv took the piece of paper and tucked it into her pocket. The truth was, it was weird helping Blaine find a woman who he cared very much about, clearly. Considering he had killed Lowell, held Major hostage, and forced Drake to work for him - she should have told him to take a hike. But, something in his eyes prevented her from doing that and she genuinely wanted to help.

Of course Lexi would be living in one of the nicest apartment complexes in Seattle. Apparently, from what Liv had found out, she had come back to her home state after a three year stay in Miami, with her ex-husband. Being a Sincerbeaux had already provided her with good money, but he was sure she also got a good settlement from the divorce.

So, there Blaine was on the 5th floor, taking in deep breathes as he read the name Sincerbeaux on the door. He was glad she had decided to go back to her maiden name after the divorce; he hated how Lexi Gusken sounded. It was never the fact that she was twenty-three and he was forty when she and Ed met. It was never after a year of dating they decided to wed. It was who that man was - what everyone in their kind of world knew him for: a woman beater. He didn't care his best friend was getting married - he had been the one not wanting a legitimate relationship. It was just him, all him.

"Blaine?"

Just as he was about to ring the bell, Blaine heard a familiar voice behind him. Heart pounding faster than it ever had in his entire zombie existence, the blonde haired man turned to see the woman he had called a money grubbing whore three years prior. Still as stunning as ever, even if all she was wearing were skinny jeans, a long sleeved v neck top, and her signature five inch pumps.

Nervously laughing, he didn't know what else to say, other than refer to the bags of groceries she was holding, "Let me help you."

Lexi could see there was a struggle in Blaine's step. He looked frail - he was never a heavy man, but had been a chubby kid and certainly more bloated in his heavy drinking days. Now, his hair was bleach blonde and he was as pale as a ghost. There were dark circles under his eyes and she heard the gurgle in his cough.

Frowning, Lexi cleared her throat and handed him a set of keys, "Why don't you just open the door."

Though feeling useless, Blaine did comply with what she asked him to do and opened the door. It was strange how they weren't even greeting each other. No hug, no words. He just watched Lexi walk by him and place all her bags down as he shut the door behind him. It was all she could do - he looked so sick and they had left things off so badly; she didn't know how to act.

Turning around, she saw him standing in a way she had never seen him before. So sullen, so broken. Sighing, he expressed, "This isn't how I pictured us talking again."

"Me either." She simply responded.

"You disconnected your phone."

Lexi frowned, crossing the space between them to reach out and hold his cheek. She shouldn't have had sympathy for him. Should have kicked him out. Truthfully though, it was out of instinct to be this way with him. And she had said just as many bad things, as he had said to her. In the end, he had been completely right about Ed.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know what to do." Lexi spoke softly.

Like a child clinging to his mother, Blaine wrapped his arms around the twenty-seven year old's waist, pulling her into his body. There was no resistance from the other party, just acceptance as he clung on tight. His head rested in her shoulder, smelling her as if he had never before. Trying to remember exactly how she felt against him.

A few moments passed of her holding him, Blaine sadly confessed, "I'm dying, Lexi. I'm sorry to have come here...I...I had to make peace, before-"

Feeling Lexi push him away, Blaine stopped as Lexi looked in his eyes for answers, "What do you mean you're dying? What is it, Blaine? Cancer, AIDS? What?"

"It's worse than that, Lexi, and I can't explain it right now," Blaine sighed expressively, begging her, "I just don't want to die alone. I've pushed everyone away and I don't want to die with our last conversation being me telling you to go fuck yourself, and...please, don't let me die alone."

Lexi frowned, reaching out to hold his face as he reassured, "It's okay...it's okay...I said bad things too. You don't need to apologize, I'm not going to go anywhere."

"But, I am…"

Lexi liked to think of herself as a strong woman. Perhaps, in her younger years; she had been a little bratty. Entitled. Coming from a rich family had done that to her. Through the years, she matured and used that self-entitlement into a drive to better herself and carry herself well. When she had divorced, she found even greater of a need to be persistent and confident - because it was so easy for the world to want to break down a powerful female.

Seeing Blaine in this state, though; was difficult for her. There couldn't be a wall with her, when it came to him. It wasn't time to be a spitfire. It was time to be a friend again - nurturing. Even up to her death, the late Mrs. McDonough had always said Lexi had motherly instincts; even when all she was concerned with as a teenager was breaking young boy's hearts. Ironic, since she couldn't have children of her own. Another reason why Ed felt the need to beat her.

Gently taking his hand into hers, she urged him to go sit with her. They went to her large bedroom, which had brightly white colored walls and what looked like silky, white sheets on her bed. Purple pillows. It looked like a swanky hotel room and Blaine wondered if she had a housekeeper or if Lexi had just become tidy in their years apart.

"I own a business, Lex," Blaine coughed, as he kicked his shoes off to sit on the bed, "I want to discuss leaving it to y-"

Cutting him off before he could go any further, she urged him just to lay down, "Let's talk about that later."

Blaine didn't protest, as he soon fell asleep - a mild cough disrupting him here and there. Lexi held her forehead, as she felt his body moving towards her instinctively. It was such a strange moment to be in. There had often shared a bed together in the past - whether it was in platonic or romantic form. None of those times, though; had been with the foreshadowing of death looming over them.

Despite that Blaine at times, could be arrogant. Selfish. Manipulative - he had been her best friend since she was eight years old. They had done everything together. Seen everything. Movies, trends, cars, vacations; they just told themselves that they weren't going to be a couple because it was what their fathers wanted them to be. To join the two big families. Blaine had had girlfriends, Lexi had had boyfriends, and there was never a time that they weren't cheating on their love interests with each other. Even throughout her whole marriage to Eddie, who she thought she loved; she was always thinking about her friend.

"Ed? Ed fucking Gusken, Lexi!?" Blaine had screamed in the middle of his drug infested house - twenty-six years old and cut off from his rich father and just starting to work for Mr. Boss.

Standing in red five inch heels, a twenty-two year old Lexi folded her arms and narrowed her eyes, "Watch your mouth, Blaine, you have neighbors."

"Fuck the neighbors," A brown haired Blaine threw his hands up, "Why? Why, Lex? Why him? It's not enough that he's twice your age or that you just started dating him a year ago - what's wrong? You don't have enough money you have to marry him and move to Miami? Why!? Seattle not good enough for you anymore? I thought you were more than just a spoiled brat."

Infuriated, Lexi spat back, "Do you not remember that I have money of my own? I chose to do something with the fortune I was given - not sell drugs and get cut off! And I don't care that you did, I know how much of a bastard your father is, but you don't get to say those things to me. You're supposed to be my best friend!"

"I am! That's why I'm telling you that this son of a bitch will beat the shit out of you! He's a known woman beater! Are you that desperate to get away? Or do you just like being treated like a spoiled fucking princess?"

"Excuse me?" Lexi sneered.

Nostrils flaring, Blaine retorted, "You heard me. You're fucking twenty-two and you look like a goddamn hooker with those fucking shoes and your fur jacket and skanky dress. And your fake fucking tits that he just bought you!"

There was a burning rage building up inside of Lexi's being, as she stepped forward and glared deep into his eyes, "If I look like a skank, I just might be your type. What's wrong, Blaine? You're allowed to fuck any bitch you want, but I find love and there's a problem? I told you about the engagement so you would be part of my life! At the wedding!"

The bellowing in Lexi's voice shook Blaine to the core, his eyes wide and wild as they seemed to stare off at each other. It had all started with her coming over and his gaze immediately locking onto the rock on her ring finger. Billionaire Ed Gusken and she had been dating for a year and everyone knew he was wanting to move back to Miami. It was a relationship the drug dealer hadn't liked since day one - not since the first time he was told he couldn't see his best friend because the older man didn't like it.

Furious though, over their fight, Blaine simply leaned forward and spelled out, "Get out of my house, you dumb, stupid, whore."