There was a huge group of them — Steve, Bucky, Peggy, Philips, the rest of the Howling Commandos — and yet no one said a damn word. Steve and Bucky were too shocked, staring slack-jawed at the sheet of paper clutched in Steve's hands. Peggy was rolling her eyes in a exasperation; Colonel Phillips had his fingers pressed to his forehead, his expression pinched. And the Howlies, well, they looked like they wanted nothing more than to sink through the floor (and considering how much it'd been raining lately, that wasn't beyond the realm of possibility).

"What," Bucky said at last, "is this?!"

Morita flushed red, and shuffled uncomfortably. "Uh, well, you see…while we were trying to, um — "

"Play matchmaker," Peggy supplied. While her voice remained even, there was a hint of amusement in her tone.

Morita swallowed heavily. "Uh, yes, you could say that…"

"That was what you were trying to do, wasn't it?" This time Peggy didn't even try to hide her amusement.

"Goddammit," Phillips muttered, his eyes squeezed shut. "How is this one of the best units in the goddamn army?!"

"Well, yeah, you see…we…well, that, uh, happened." He gestured hopelessly at the sheet of paper. Steve and Bucky turned their attention back to it, their eyes skimming the words printed on the page.

Operation Bear and Rabbit:

1. Remove Bear from Rabbits territory, and make sure Bear and Rabbit do not make contact at ANY point

2. Station Cheetah near Rabbit. Make sure Bear notes interactions.

3. Have Mongoose get close to Bear.

4. Assassinate Bear.

5. Give false information to Bear and Rabbit.

6. Cheetah approaches Bear and Rabbit.

7. Eradicate subtleness - Bear and Rabbit must be debriefed at all costs.

8. Operation Bear and Rabbit successful.

"I know it sounds weird," Dugan started, "but I swear to you, there is a good explanation for all this."

"No there isn't," Falsworth muttered.

Bucky gaped. "Is this real?!" he choked. "You guys seriously made this? Operation Bear and Rabbit?"

Everyone winced.

Steve shook his head incredulously. "You're going to have to explain this to me," he said slowly. "Because even though I know what you've been doing — "

"It was Dugan and Morita's idea," Gabe blurted out.

Peggy turned to him. "You went along with it."

Gabe's mouth snapped shut.

" — I have no idea what any of this means." Steve glanced back at the list, and shook his head.

No one spoke.

Bucky coughed. "Now would be a good time to explain."

The Howling Commandos averted their gazes, and remained silent.

"Explain." Steve's tone left no room for argument.

Dugan glanced up, still evidently embarrassed. "Well," he choked, "you see, it started about a week or two ago - and despite what they tell you, it was not my idea - "

…

So…I love Bucky, I love Steve, and I love the Howling Commandos. So I really just wanted to write a story with all of them in it…and I promise this will start to make more sense. Eventually.

Tell me what you think!