A/N: Another story from the footnote on Pg. 35. This is actually pretty fun to make these. My other stories on the footnote have done pretty well, so I have decided to do all of the mentioned. I have one more to do. The Afrit. I have the idea down already, so should be up soon. Enjoy and please review!

Rupert Devereaux called up John Mandrake.

"As you know, we have a gala tonight," Devereaux said. "Well, the ambassador needs some help. His wife is… big-boned and she can't get out of the doorway. She needs help. The ambassador is no magician, so he needs help."

"Is Farrar not available? I am busy with very important work," Mandrake said.

"As is she. More important work than yours I would say," Devereaux said.

"Where's his house?" Mandrake asked.

Devereaux gave him the coordinates and Mandrake set off to summon Bartimaeus.

-- -- -- --

The familiar hooks of a summoning came. Chances were, it was Mandrake. I tried going with a scary look. A girl. When I appeared Mandrake's eyes widened.

"Did I summon the right demon? Tell me your true name!" he shouted desperately.

"Bartimaeus," I told him. "Have you finally gone insane?"

"Bartimaeus, I need you to go to these coordinates," Mandrake said as he threw a piece of paper to my pentacle.

"Why do you need me?"

Mandrake blinked. He didn't want to admit that I was a strong and fascinating spirit. Not to mention intelligent, but I want to remain modest.

"Just go," he said.

I grinned and poofed off.

When I arrived there was a fat lady in the doorway. It was rather startling.

"Are you real?" I questioned.

She responded, but I will leave it out for it was not the nicest response I've heard in my 5,000 years of experience. I waited awhile for Mandrake with the fat lady jabbering on about stupid demons that don't recognize true beauty. Ha. True beauty to her probably comes in the form of cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. I was tempted to blow a detonation at her, but in all seriousness it probably would have bounced off of her. Mandrake finally arrived.

"Wow, she's fat and annoying! I've only seen those characteristics in you!" (A/N: If you don't understand why Bartimaeus is calling Mandrake fat, refer to my other fic, The Envelope)

Mandrake blinked unsmiling.

"Or not," I said.

Mandrake turned his head to the fat lady.

"Mrs. Fatso, we will get you out!" Mandrake said with conviction. Me, I was chuckling at her last name. Well, I have to say, she does live up to her name.

"Bartimaeus, blow a hole in this wall," Mandrake commanded.

I proceeded to do so, and Mandrake walked in.

-- -- -- --

Mandrake walked into the newly created hole.

"Bartimaeus, blow a hole on top of Mrs. Fatso. The doorway," he made clear.

As Bartimaeus aimed, Mandrake tripped over something and hit Bartimaeus, causing him to throw a detonation at the house's foundations. The wooden bars slammed down on the floor going through and bringing Mandrake with them. Bartimaeus dived down and grabbed Mandrake before he could hit the bottom.

"Haven't you lost any weight?" Bartimaeus asked, as he struggled to bring Mandrake to solid ground again. When he succeeded he did a little jig.

"Stop doing that ridiculous dance," Mandrake instructed. "Hurry up and blow a bloody hole!"

He did so and the fat lady jiggled out.

"That's disgusting," Bartimaeus observed.

"I'm going to dismiss you. I don't want you to ruin my reputation," Mandrake said. He spoke the proper spells.

"Goodbye, Nathani-" Bartimaeus was cut off as he returned to the Other Place.

-- -- -- --

I wasn't really going to say his name, but seeing him turn that hilarious shade of red was worth it. That's me for you.

A/N: So what'd you think? Please review!