I am conquered.
But I remember the taste of freedom, and it is as bittersweet as the smoldering pain of the mark burned into my arm by my Lord. He is mighty, and He may succeed in His bid for power this time, but I shall not see the end of this great war between the wizards. My days are numbered, though I know neither how nor when my demise shall be accomplished. I only know that I shall suffer greatly before death gives me sanctuary from the vengeance of all who I have harmed, accomplished through the intervention of my Master. It is nothing more than what I deserve; I have betrayed both my oath and my world. My punishment will be just, when it comes; I will not run though, for my pledge has been given and without the shredded remnants of my honor, I am less than nothing: a shadow of a shadow in the dark.
My soul is long since lost to the darkness, and I know that I have strayed beyond redemption, even if there were one still living who remembered that I once dwelt in the sunlight, rather than the murk. My hopes for life beyond service to Him were dashed with His reemergence and the renewed summons to the cause which all thought defeated these 13 years of ease. The world has gone soft and though a few fight us, He shall triumph. He has penetrated too many of their defenses and is privy to too many of their plans to allow their triumph or even survival, save through a miracle from the higher power I ceased to believe in years ago. My own corruption and the reports of those to whom I have spread the contagion of His influence, which I have been assigned to collect, have convinced me that doom is inevitable to those who would stand against us. Those who mistakenly dismiss Him are falling from power, but His efforts are sustaining these incompetents in power and they are hurrying the destruction of the world they know. They bring about not only their own ruin, but also the ruin of the mundane world from which we swore to withdraw so many years ago.
I cannot stand against the tyranny which will engulf the world. I am no hero. I am nothing but vermin, hiding in the shadows. My guilt threatens to conquer me still, even after all the years I have served evil; one would expect that I become accustomed or at least resigned to the sins I am forced to perpetrate to survive in this mockery of life, but I cannot acclimatize myself to it. The drudgery and despair is nearly overwhelming, but I have continued hiding my true feelings, and until this diary is discovered I shall remain in my place, never venturing to right the wrongs committed in the name of the Cause.
I fear the discovery of this document, but I must leave some record of myself on this Earth for I have erased all other records of my existence. This may hurry the end, but it is something I find I must do, if I am to retain my sanity. Should my Lord come to read this book not only shall my life be forfeit, but so also shall the lives of the few I have helped in my poor service. I have hidden information from Him and not carried out His instructions on more than one occasion. Not the least was my letting His intended victims flee to sanctuary among the Muggles and a few other places, some secret even from me, most especially the one to which my sister led the members of my family still alive after the last war, allowing me to faithfully answer the Master that no living beings related to me remained on this planet, without any deception which would have killed me.
I am alone. I dare not confess my actions to my comrades, for they would betray me to my death. None related to me remain here, for they would prove liabilities to His commands.
Now I must hark to the summons I now feel burning upon my arm, to some new atrocity. I now cast this book into the oblivion which is my soul, so that none shall find it.
The name of this Death Eater has been purposely omitted, it is NOT Wormtail, or any other Death Eater in Rowling's books, since they're all unthinkingly cruel or complete morons. This character is supposed to be something that I've found hardly ever and then not often written well: a noble, educated villain. Please let me know how it comes across, and tell me about any inaccuracies with the books..I read a lot, and so sometimes my memories of the books can be a bit vague. Also, I obviously don't own the idea for the world and I'm not profiting monetarily from this piece. I'm not planning on posting any more author's notes, save when I feel I must, but feel free to email me or IM me with suggestions or complaints, or reviews are always good. The title is supposed to be Speaker of Shadows, but I don't know Latin Grammar, and was forced to use Spanish, let me know the correct way to phrase that, if you know.
But I remember the taste of freedom, and it is as bittersweet as the smoldering pain of the mark burned into my arm by my Lord. He is mighty, and He may succeed in His bid for power this time, but I shall not see the end of this great war between the wizards. My days are numbered, though I know neither how nor when my demise shall be accomplished. I only know that I shall suffer greatly before death gives me sanctuary from the vengeance of all who I have harmed, accomplished through the intervention of my Master. It is nothing more than what I deserve; I have betrayed both my oath and my world. My punishment will be just, when it comes; I will not run though, for my pledge has been given and without the shredded remnants of my honor, I am less than nothing: a shadow of a shadow in the dark.
My soul is long since lost to the darkness, and I know that I have strayed beyond redemption, even if there were one still living who remembered that I once dwelt in the sunlight, rather than the murk. My hopes for life beyond service to Him were dashed with His reemergence and the renewed summons to the cause which all thought defeated these 13 years of ease. The world has gone soft and though a few fight us, He shall triumph. He has penetrated too many of their defenses and is privy to too many of their plans to allow their triumph or even survival, save through a miracle from the higher power I ceased to believe in years ago. My own corruption and the reports of those to whom I have spread the contagion of His influence, which I have been assigned to collect, have convinced me that doom is inevitable to those who would stand against us. Those who mistakenly dismiss Him are falling from power, but His efforts are sustaining these incompetents in power and they are hurrying the destruction of the world they know. They bring about not only their own ruin, but also the ruin of the mundane world from which we swore to withdraw so many years ago.
I cannot stand against the tyranny which will engulf the world. I am no hero. I am nothing but vermin, hiding in the shadows. My guilt threatens to conquer me still, even after all the years I have served evil; one would expect that I become accustomed or at least resigned to the sins I am forced to perpetrate to survive in this mockery of life, but I cannot acclimatize myself to it. The drudgery and despair is nearly overwhelming, but I have continued hiding my true feelings, and until this diary is discovered I shall remain in my place, never venturing to right the wrongs committed in the name of the Cause.
I fear the discovery of this document, but I must leave some record of myself on this Earth for I have erased all other records of my existence. This may hurry the end, but it is something I find I must do, if I am to retain my sanity. Should my Lord come to read this book not only shall my life be forfeit, but so also shall the lives of the few I have helped in my poor service. I have hidden information from Him and not carried out His instructions on more than one occasion. Not the least was my letting His intended victims flee to sanctuary among the Muggles and a few other places, some secret even from me, most especially the one to which my sister led the members of my family still alive after the last war, allowing me to faithfully answer the Master that no living beings related to me remained on this planet, without any deception which would have killed me.
I am alone. I dare not confess my actions to my comrades, for they would betray me to my death. None related to me remain here, for they would prove liabilities to His commands.
Now I must hark to the summons I now feel burning upon my arm, to some new atrocity. I now cast this book into the oblivion which is my soul, so that none shall find it.
The name of this Death Eater has been purposely omitted, it is NOT Wormtail, or any other Death Eater in Rowling's books, since they're all unthinkingly cruel or complete morons. This character is supposed to be something that I've found hardly ever and then not often written well: a noble, educated villain. Please let me know how it comes across, and tell me about any inaccuracies with the books..I read a lot, and so sometimes my memories of the books can be a bit vague. Also, I obviously don't own the idea for the world and I'm not profiting monetarily from this piece. I'm not planning on posting any more author's notes, save when I feel I must, but feel free to email me or IM me with suggestions or complaints, or reviews are always good. The title is supposed to be Speaker of Shadows, but I don't know Latin Grammar, and was forced to use Spanish, let me know the correct way to phrase that, if you know.