New story! Those of you who came here after reading Safehouse, welcome back! This story is going to be different and far less serious. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to post it, but it kind of ran away with me so I figured I might as well share it. Let me know your thoughts!

She woke up with such a pounding headache that she wished she could have remained unconscious for a few more hours. She would have tried to go back to sleep, but unfortunately her blather disagreed with that notion and decided that it was of the utmost importance that she used the loo at this exact moment. With a groan she sat up and headed towards the bathroom, still in a haze of sleep and alcohol. Her head felt so heavy she was unable to keep her eyes open, causing her to almost fall over a pair of shoes when she made her way back to the bed after peeing, already looking forward to a few more hours of slumber.

She burried her face in her pillow and waited for sleep to come, but it didn't. There was a vage feeling niggling in her brain, something that should be important.

What could possibly be more important than sleep at this point? She couldn't even form a coherent thought in her mind, for Godric's sake, surely whatever it was could wait for a few hours?

She opened her eyes in shock when she finally realized what was bothering her: The shoes laying in the middle of her room were not her shoes!

She lifted herself up on her elbow and surveyed the floor. Sure enough, there was a pair of black, very expensive looking men's shoes. And not too far from that, black trousers laying crumpled on the floor next to her dress which appeared to be pretty much ruined. Oh my.

What on earth had happened last night? Her brain finally seemed to realize that she was in a rather distressful situation, and suddenly she was wide awake. Now she heard loud breathing come from somewhere behind her, on the other side of the king-size bed she supposed.

She should probably turn around and see who it was, but she was terrified of what she might discover.

Her breathing started coming faster when she realized that she had gotten very drunk and shagged someone, and that she couldn't even remember who it was.

She was Hermione Jean Granger, bookworm extraordinaire, not the kind of girl that had one night stands! Not that there was anything wrong with that, mind you, girls should be allowed to sleep around as much as they wanted to, but it was just something that she would never do.

And yet, she had. Oh Gods, this was probably Ginny's fault. She had been nagging her all the time about having some fun now that she had broken up with Ron ("I'm getting married, Hermione, that means I need to live all my slutty dreams vicariously through you!").

Ah yes, Ginny. This was definitely her fault. After all, Hermione would never have been in wizarding Vegas and gotten ridiculously drunk if it wasn't for the future Mrs. Potter's hen party, so even if Ginny hadn't pushed her into the arms of this stranger, she was still to blame.

Oh Merlin, it was a stranger, right? What if, in some kind of drunken stupor, she had ended up shagging Ron? Oh no, that would be a disaster. Sweet Morgana, please, let it be anyone but him.

And still she did not turn around. Judging by the occasional snore, her... partner was still fast asleep.

It couldn't be Ron. Ron would never wear that kind of shoes, or such expensive slacks for that matter. Not to mention, he wasn't even in Vegas. She attempted to remember more, but after entering the third club and downing the eight (or maybe ninth, she had absolutely no idea) cocktail everything was pretty much a blur. Only vague flashes of drunken kisses and... Oh. The most mind-shattering orgasm.

Well that was a relief. She might have acted absolutely out of character, but at least she had fun. She took a deep breath and decided she should turn around.

She really shouldn't have turned around. There, in her bed, lay a naked Draco Malfoy.

For half a second she thought she would faint, then she ran back to the bathroom and managed to get to the toilet just in time to throw up.

"Oh my god, oh my god," she mumbled, sliding down to sit on the ground. "What the hell did I do?"

She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Oh wait, not her sleeve. Judging by the size and material, she was wearing Malfoy's shirt.

That thought brought with it a new wave of nausea, and she emptied her stomach, feeling absolutely wretched. She stumbled towards the sink and drank as much water as she could, trying to get rid of the terrible taste the alcohol had left in her mouth. Only then did she look in the mirror. What she saw there made her pause.

She looked... thoroughly fucked, there were no other words for it. Her lips were swollen, she had several love-bites adorning her neck and her hair stood in all directions.

More so than usual, that is.

The pounding in her head intensified and she brought up her left hand to her temple. A twinkle caught her eye, her gaze was drawn to her finger which was sporting a beautiful ring.

.

.

.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Her loud yell broke through the silence of the hotel suite.

She could hear stumbling from the room, followed by Draco Malfoy in nothing but his boxers barging into the bathroom, brandishing his wand.

"What the hell?" he asked upon seeing her. "Granger?"

She was unable to speak, so she just held out her left hand.

He stared at the offending ring, mouth wide open. "What?" he mumbled.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked urgently.

"Granger, I didn't even know I was in your room until I saw you. Please tell me this is all some big misunderstanding."

"I don't know," she said, trying very hard not to cry. "I don't know! All I know is that I woke up next to you, sore and hungover, and now I'm wearing a wedding ring. We're in Vegas, Malfoy! What if—"

"Let's not jump ahead of ourselves, now," he said, regaining his composure. "I might have fucked you, but I would never marry a Mud... Muggleborn, especially not you, no matter how drunk I was. You probably felt lonely and decided to buy yourself a wedding ring, so as not to be outdone by the Weaselette."

She grabbed the toothpaste next to the sink and threw it at him. He managed to duck in time, unfortunately.

"You're not helping, Malfoy," she fumed. "I can't believe I slept with the likes of you. I must have been drugged!"

He scoffed. "I don't need to drug a girl to get some, Granger."

"Still not helping! I need to find Ginny. Maybe she knows something."

She tried to get past him to the door, but he grabbed her arm and pushed her back.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled.

"You didn't seem to mind last night." He leered at her and she became suddenly aware that she was covered only by his shirt, giving him a good view of her legs.

"So you do remember?!" she shrieked.

He groaned. "Too loud, Granger, my head is killing me. And I just remember a few things, nothing that helps us with this situation. Unless you were somehow still doubting if we shagged, because I can assure you we did."

"Then let's find Ginny, we need to know what the hell is going on."

"No. I have a reputation to uphold, Granger, and no one is to know about this until we figured out what happened and we undo it!"

She crossed her arms on her chest. "I thought that you would never marry someone like me? Because if that's the case you have nothing to worry about now, have you?"

He glared at her. "Shut up, Granger. We're not going to involve anyone in this, do you understand?"

She sighed deeply. "Fine, let's do it your way. But I want a hangover-potion first."

"As you wish," he said, and mockingly bowed. She followed him into the bedroom where he immediately headed towards the mini-bar.

"I said a hangover-potion, not getting drunk again, Malfoy."

Without answering, he opened one of the cabinets and took out two vials with purple-colored liquid. "There is always a potion like this in magical hotels, Granger. But I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you?" he said snidely. He threw her one of the vials and immediately downed the other.

She fumbled to catch hers, and it almost fell to the ground. She would have killed him if that was the case, no doubt possible. Fortunately for the both of them, she succeeded in grabbing it. For about two seconds she hesitated (what if it's poison?), then she decided she didn't really care and drank it anyway.
The relief was immediate. The pain in her head subsided and her stomach calmed down, and she closed her eyes to savor the feeling for a second. Because there would hardly be cause for rejoicing for the rest of the day, she feared.

"Alright," she said, trying to think rationally and not start panicking, although the persistent thought I slept with Malfoy was pounding in her brain. "Let's start by looking around, maybe we will find something in here that tells us about... You know."

"I would have expected a slightly better plan coming from the Brightest Witch of her Age." He spat the title which such venom that not even the most naive individual could have taken it for a compliment.

"Do you have a better idea?"

When he remained conspicuously silent, she shot him a very fake smile. "That's what I thought."

So they both started looking around the room, albeit grudgingly on Draco's part. It was Hermione who made the first discovery: she had gotten on all fours to look under the bed, ignoring the soreness between her legs as best she could, and found the ring.

"Oh crap," she muttered. It was very obviously a wedding band, and she was pretty sure it would fit exactly around Malfoy's ring finger.

When he noticed what she was holding, he snatched it from her hands and tried it on. A perfect fit. There was a moment of almost deafening silence, and they shared a look of barely concealed panic.

"Let's just keep looking," she said. "Maybe it was a joke, nothing binding. If it was a binding wedding ceremony, there should be a legal document somewhere."

"I think we were a bit too busy to hold a piece of paper all the way back to the hotel, Granger," he said scathingly. Then his gaze fell on his trousers.

"Unless of course..." He didn't finish his sentence but hurriedly checked the pockets.

Ah, there it was, the damning piece of evidence. With shaking hands, he flattened the crumpled document, and immediately his face became even more pale than usual.

"Well, it looks like your name is no longer Granger," he said, but his wavering voice betrayed his feelings.

"Oh God," Hermione moaned. "How could I have been so stupid?" She sank down on the bed and dropped her face in her hands. "What are we going to do?"

He sat down next to her, shoulders hunched, making sure not to touch her. "I have absolutely no idea."

Hermione had no idea how long they sat there, wallowing in their misery, when there was a knock on the door. "Hermione?" Ginny shouted. "You there, sleepyhead?"

The newly-weds looked at each other in alarm, before standing up in a frenzy. "Shit shit shit," Malfoy muttered. "What do we do?"

"The bathroom!" she whispered, almost pushing him in there and throwing him his trousers and shoes. As soon as he closed the door behind him, she grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, hastily putting them on.

"Give me a second, Ginny!" she shouted. She opened the door to the bathroom, seeing a still shirtless Malfoy with trousers this time. She threw him his shirt. "Just don't make any noise," she ordered. "I'll get her to leave."

"Don't tell her, Granger."

"You think I want anyone to know about this?" she hissed. She headed back to the bedroom to let Ginny in, praying her acting-skills were sufficient to get the redhead out of here without asking to many questions.

"Granger!" Malfoy had followed her out.

"What the hell are you doing?"

He grabbed her hand to take off her ring. "That's a bit of a give-away, don't you think?"

She gulped, realizing how close they had come to being discovered. "Yeah, thanks."

He seemed surprised at her civility, but when Ginny knocked again he hurried to the bathroom.

Hermione took a deep breath and opened the door. "Ginny, calm down before you knock the door out of its hinges!"

"Oh thank Merlin you're alright!" the girl replied, pushing her way past Hermione and sitting down on her bed. "I was starting to think something happened to you last night."

Oh, so Ginny didn't know. That was something, at least. What should she say?

"To be entirely honest with you, Gin, I don't remember everything about last night. All I know is that I'm never, ever drinking this much again."

Ginny laughed. "Yeah, we all said the same this morning. What a night! And I'm not surprised you can't remember, you were really drunk. Like, really really drunk."

"You don't say."

"I mean, you kissed Malfoy."

"Yes, I seem to have some vague memories of that. Why didn't you stop me?"

"Hey, don't look at me, I was really drunk too. I hardly remember how I got back to the hotel."

They sat in contemplative silence for a while, Hermione mostly very relieved that no one knew about the wedding. (Ugh, she shuddered at the thought.)

"Anyway," Ginny said. "The girls are taking me to the spa we were talking about yesterday, we are leaving in an hour!"

That could actually work in her favor. "No offense, Gin, but I'm going to pass on this one. I just want to sleep all day, to be honest."

Ginny laughed. "That bad, huh? All right, I'll see you tonight!"

Hermione let out a relieved sigh when Ginny was gone, proud that she had been able to keep it together long enough.

She heard the sound of the shower turning on and cursed Malfoy all over again. This was her room, she should be allowed to shower first! He took his time, the git, and when he emerged from the bathroom at last he looked like a different man. That only succeeded in making Hermione more resentful, because she was fully aware that there was no way she could look even half as put together in that little time.

"We're going to see a lawyer," Draco said, already heading towards the door.

"Not before I've showered," she told him.

He sighed deeply, but nodded his acceptance. "They probably wouldn't even let us in with you looking like that."

She mustered the energy needed to throw him a half-hearted glare, but she truly was too tired to engage in his little battles at this point.

When they were finally both ready, it took far more longer than needed for them to get out of the hotel because Malfoy was acting paranoid.

"Do you even know a lawyer in Vegas?" she asked him, while he kept looking behind them to make sure they weren't followed.

"Yes. A friend of Blaise's mother," he replied curtly. Once outside of the apparition-wards of the hotel, he shot her a distasteful look. "We're going to have to side-along."

She merely nodded, resolved to be the mature one in this situation, and gripped his arm. They landed in front of an expensive-looking house with a sign that read Logan Ferdinand, Lawyer.

Hermione and Draco shared one look before the Slytherin knocked on the door. They were ushered in by the lawyer's assistant, who was apparently terribly sorry to tell them that Mr. Ferdinand was busy, they'd have to come back in a couple of days.

That was until Malfoy told him Blaise Zabini was a close friend of his.

"Oh, really? What did you say your name was again, sir?"

"Draco Malfoy. Go and tell your boss it is an urgent matter, will you? Tell him I would be most grateful for his assistance."

The assistant agreed to do it and disappeared behind a door, leaving Hermione and Draco waiting in the most awkward silence.

"Mister Malfoy? Do come in."

An elder, well-dressed man invited them in his office.

"I was told this was urgent," he said. "And, in all honesty, I don't have much time, so if you would be so kind as to come to the point at once?"

"Of course, sir," Draco said. "Thank you for seeing us upon such short notice. I do hope I can trust you to be not only discrete, but non-judgmental?"

"Evidently," Logan Ferdinand replied.

"Granger and I got married by accident, last night," he spoke through gritted teeth, as if merely uttering the words caused him harm.

"I see," the man said. "And I expect you don't want to remain that way?"

"NO," they both said vehemently.

"Are you familiar with the laws regarding divorce in the magical world?" Ferdinand asked cautiously.

"Barely," Hermione admitted.

"Only that it's impossible after a traditional binding-ceremony, but that's not what we had," Draco said.

"Might I see the document?"

The lawyer took an unnervingly long time to look at the piece of paper, and Hermione could feel herself becoming more and more nervous as the seconds ticked by.

"It is as I thought," Mr. Ferdinand said at last. "The laws concerning divorce are far more stern in the wizarding world than in the Muggle world. Considering you two have managed to get married in the only instant-wedding place in the entire wizarding world, I'm afraid you are faced with a bit of a problem: Divorce is impossible until the husband and wife have been married for five years. Until then, there is nothing I can do for you, except perhaps give you some well-meant advice."

And then Hermione fainted.

That's it for the first chapter! Should I post the rest of it? The next chapter will be of how Hermione and Draco ended up married. Thanks for reading!