Prompt/Summary:
Finally free from the age of the titans, the squad finally gets to live peacefully in the outside world, and explore what is out there. Unfortunately, during their last battle with the enemies, a certain raven haired female known as Mikasa Ackerman had sustained severe injuries, and that doesn't exclude her sight. Unable to see the beauties of the outside world, Armin Arlert and Eren Yeager had agreed to explore the world with her while there was still time, constantly describing newfound stuff to her with words, ensuring she does not feel left out, indifferent or a burden.
However, Mikasa Ackerman has no memory how had her vision been blinded. And everybody tells her that they don't remember, that they didn't wish to remember the war that had 'traumatized' them. Mikasa being understandable, complied. Not only had that, but they constantly reminded her how she should leave the past in the past. Yet, this does not keep her suspicions down nor sweeps her desperate curiosity away, that craves for the truth. No matter how cruel it may be. And one day…
"Everyone's hiding something from me! Why can't you tell me?!"
"…I shouldn't be the one telling you, it should be that brat."
And her sight isn't the only thing that's going to be gone.
Time's running out too fast for a certain someone who has been shouldering burden.
Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
It's late at night, it's cold. The candle flickers silently on a desk next to the bed where the raven haired girl struggles to fall asleep. Sitting up, she stared blankly out the window. Out the window where the stars tonight shine brightly, honouring the thousands of soldiers who had sacrificed themselves for the greater good that they had believed in, and a moon.
The moon that brought out all the stars that shone brightly alongside the stars. Some of the remaining soldiers would say that's Erwin Smith, after all he was a soldier—a commander worth more than a single star could afford. His bravery, his insanity that drove him to ensure humanity could see another tomorrow, was indeed honourable.
But, regardless of the light that shone through the window, it couldn't shoo away the darkness that had shunned Mikasa's life.
A cold gust of wind blew by, causing a shiver that ran down the spine of the raven as she felt the warmth from the small flame of the candle being blown out, not like the light of the burning flame made a difference to her anyway. She huddled up her legs, pulling them closely to her chest.
"It's cold...''. She muttered softly to herself. 'It's lonely...' she thought as she hugged her knees tighter. "It's...it's...-"
"Mikasa!" a familiar, warmth-filled voice echoed through the silent room, cutting off Mikasa's dark thoughts that she couldn't help but wish it'd stay in the dark, except she knew that wherever darkness goes, it'll always follow her.
"I figured you couldn't sleep so—"
"Eren…?" she lifted up her head turning towards the sound of his soothing voice. "Is that you, Eren? Eren?" she spoke in a panicky way. She didn't want to be alone, not today, not tonight, and not ever.
"Sh... Shh...I'm here, Mikasa..." Eren responded as he sat next to her on the bed, his arm instinctively wrapping around her shoulder when he had noticed her body shivering. "It's going to be alright...I promise." Eren comforted as Mikasa's head gently rested on the brunette's shoulders, tears already forming, and in a second, her tears had evolved into a stream, drenching Eren's shirt. But he didn't mind-he didn't care- if she were to soak all of his shirts with her tears, if that meant she would feel a little less crestfallen.
She had always been strong, always the one with her guard up. Because she knew emotions would get in the way. Yet, the only time she'd let them unknowingly show was with the brunette who was causing the flow of her emotions right now, except those emotions before was concern, and now, it was sadness. And normally, the brunette would push her away, tell her to stop being so motherly or protective. But those days are long gone, the brunette had matured in more ways than one, and right now he didn't—he couldn't push her away— because of his own, selfish emotions that desired to do the same for her as she had did to him, to protect her.
"How do you know that it'll be fine? It's clearly not..." Mikasa choked out the words, words that caused her throat to feel sore. She didn't want to talk, yet she wanted to scream her pain out. She didn't want to cry, yet she wanted to let it all out.
Eren repositioned himself, Mikasa felt him shifting, and panicked. "Wait… no don't go, I'm sorry-" she got cut off as the same arms that wrapped her shoulder soon embraced her into a hug. "Because I know it'll be fine. Listen, Mikasa." Eren said, his tone serious yet soft, but as he spoke, he ensured that he wouldn't break into tears, he wanted to be strong, for the sake of her.
"I know… that it's scary to be alone... and I don't want to lie to you either. I don't want to give you false hope… and..'' he stopped midway in his sentence as he felt the raven's arms returning the embrace, except her hands were gripping the behind of his shirt tightly, her hands trembling in fear. Fearing what the brunette was going to say next.
Eren's emerald eyes softened at that. "Let it all out..." he mumbled as he felt her tears dripping.
"Mikasa..." He took a deep breathe. In a few years, I'll...be gone... and so will Armin, a few years after me..." He continued.
Her grip tightened, her hands shaking like an earthquake was happening in her mind – which probably was happening.
"But... there's still the others…Sasha, Connie, even Jean and so on who'll still be here... Hell, even that shortass or crazy four eyes will still be here." Eren sighed, chuckling silently at the nickname that Mikasa created for the other male raven that no one but her dared address him as that.
Daring. He had always admired that quality of hers.
"Crazy four eyes said she is finding for a cure, but it's still uncertain… so instead of giving you false hope like I had mentioned just now, about me or Armin being…alive, all I can give you now is... this warmth." Eren spoke as the raven dug her head deeper into his chest, still sobbing.
"I'm sorry... I just really don't know what to say... I don't want to..." Eren said cautiously when the raven's sobs had loudened, though matured, there were times when he still didn't know to express himself clearly or gently, especially with her.
"I know what you mean…" Mikasa spoke, fighting through the sobs that she forced to halt so she could speak clearly. "But Eren... this warmth… it's only going to be temporary isn't it?" she retorted back and when the brunette was about to pull her closer into the hug so she wouldn't break, she only pushed him away as her voice raised. "I can't! It's too painful... I can't even..." she took a deep breath.
"When you and Armin are gone… that's when darkness truly consumes me... and...This darkness…"
"Shh…" Eren hushed her as he pulled her in another embrace and despite her pushes-which soon surrendered as her tears dripped slowly.
"Both of us will still be in here..." Eren comforted as he gently pulled her away, resting his hand on the left side of her chest. "Your heart…'' Eren smiled painfully at those words whereas Mikasa's cheeks flushed red.
"Eren your hand…" She said, flustered.
It took a moment for the brunette to realize his hand was a little too close to her breast and it had seemed as if he was preparing to make a move on it, out of 'instinct'. He quickly pulled away as his face flushed into a darker shade of red as compared to the raven. "A-AH! I'm Sorry! U-uh..." Eren panicked, but stopped when he heard something, a sound which he'd call a melody.
Mikasa was chuckling softly.
Mikasa rubbed her eyes, wiping the tears away as she slowly looked up to where she assumed was the brunette's face.
It had been a while since Eren had made full eye contact with her, and though it was dark, thanks to the brightness of both stars and moon that shone dimly through the window, he was able to see her—her eyes—clear enough for him to be able to fixate his focus on her eyes, ever so pitifully, depressively, guiltily.
'Was this even considered eye contact...? When she can't even see me...?' He thought silently.
Though the raven was unable to see through the darkness that surrounded her from within, she could feel the tension from him that was directed towards her, what was worse was the awkward silence that had filled the air when her chuckles came to a halt once sensing the tension the brunette was emitting. She quickly turned her head away into another direction, which caused Eren to snap out of the torturous trance he was in—when he was staring into her dull eyes. It was painful, after all, her obsidian orbs were so lively once, even when they were trainees training under the blistering hot sun, even when they had to run 50 laps around the area. Even when Eren had yelled at her for his own childish reasons back then, there was still life in her eyes, and now... it was gone.
"I-I'm sorry...' Eren mumbled as he looked down in pain.
"For what?" she questioned.
"I wasn't able to protect you and…now you're blind..." Eren choked as the words escaped his lips, tears fighting their way through the wall he had built before entering her room.
"It wasn't entirely your fault. You said you were…in a different squad... and besides it was..." Mikasa hesitated in her words, unable to remember what had happened on that day. She winced in pain at her attempt to recall what had happened. All the short flashbacks she had, she described as red —bloodied, just an attempt to remember could cause her physical pain, it was obvious as her hands gripped the sheet tightly. Eren, who was quick to notice, instantly rested his hand on her shoulder. "Forget the past, it's not worth remembering... I wish I knew what happened to you…" He said, biting his lip, regretting that he somewhat brought up the subject of the past
"I hate the dark..." Mikasa mumbled softly, on the verge of tears once more until she felt something soft that wrapped around her neck. Her precious, red scarf.
"I finished washing your scarf…smells nice doesn't it huh?" Eren said whispering those words softly.
Mikasa only remained silent. Eren could tell she was just lost in nostalgia, he was too.
He remembered that day, where he told her that he would wrap it around her as many times as she wants. He still would, he always would. After all, though he could never understand the true depth of the meaning that red scarf held, as long as it could make Mikasa smile, he would wrap it a thousand times for her.
'I wish...' Mikasa thought silently. "I could see..." She spoke unintentionally letting her thoughts slipped out and once realizing it, covered her mouth as if she had spoken something forbidden.
Eren caressed her cheek gently in response, before replying, "Then... I'll be your eyes."
Mikasa then looked back at the direction where she heard those beautiful words, with an indescribable expression, she didn't seem enraged, despondent nor elated.
It was… the expression of hope, he was her hope, and he was her flame.
And Eren wished he could have unseen that look.
"Thank you… for everything..." Mikasa yawned softly as her body slowly collapsed, thankfully Eren had caught her in his arms. He laid her gently on the bed before standing up slowly.
'She must've been exhausted…it's been a tough day...' Eren thought silently. She had only just gained back her consciousness today in the morning - a week since the war had ended—and moreover she had to comprehend the fact that she couldn't see. He gazed softly but pitifully at the raven, before turning towards the sound of a knock on the door which had interrupted his gaze.
Opening the door, it was Armin.
"Armin?"
"Is she doing well?" the blonde asked, concerned.
Eren only looked away. "Yeah..."
"You know…maybe we should—"
"I know what you're going to say, and no. Look at her, she's drained. She's tired. Don't give her unnecessary trouble." Eren snapped.
"…We'll talk tomorrow, Captain Levi wants to see the whole squad tomorrow out in the field around 9 in the morning…" Armin spoke, not in the mood to argue this late at night. He took a quick glance inside Mikasa's room, to see the raven shifting uncomfortably on her bed. "For now, stay here. She needs you." Armin spoke, referring to Mikasa who seemed to be struggling to sleep again, her body was fidgeting as if the nightmare she was probably having at the moment was devouring her. "She needs you, Eren" Armin repeated before turning away.
"Goodnight." The blonde said before walking away.
"Goodnight..." Eren mumbled back before closing the door shut, rushing back to the troubled raven, squeezing her hand gently, which had seemed to soothe her. His presence soothed her. Eren's eyes softened as he slowly shifted himself onto her bed.
He was now lying next to her, fingers still entwined with hers tightly.
He gazed out the window, at the stars and the moon that brought out the dark blue of the sky.
"Be her eyes... huh?" Eren sighed as he closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.
"She needs you, Eren."
...
Those words echoed through the brunette's mind for the rest of the night.