DISCLAIMER: (in unison) The SkyWolves own NOTHING of Yu-Gi-Oh except for Falcona's dueling deck. Kazuki Takahashi (lucky baka) owns it. Shimatta. Don't own anything else we refer to, either.
Luke: WARNING!!! This is a very, um, interesting fic I wrote when I had free rein of the house (rare. YEAH!!! DAD'S NOT HERE!!!) . My first Net-published fic! First from any SkyWolf! THANKS A TON TO META FOR POSTING!!! And the plot bunny was his, too! Hope ya like! But this is VERY ODD. Warning! OOC Yugi, some Anzu bashing, YAOI (S/J, Y/YY, B/R, and a little fake S/YY).
SUMMARY: Why is Yugi acting so bizarre?
Chapter I: Torture.
~~~~YAMI POV~~~~
Okay, malls are stupid. But Yugi insisted, and I just can't say no to my hikari. So there I was, bored out of my skull, and I seriously had to get some fresh air. CLAUSTROPHOBIA... CAN'T BREATHE.
"Hey, Spencer's!" Yugi grabbed my arm, dragging me into a shop. Did I say shop? I meant MEDIEVAL TORTURE CHAMBER! I clapped a hand over Yugi's eyes as I tried to back out. "Yami, get your hand off my face!"
"This is no place for you, young one. Let's go."
"No way, Yami! And what do you mean, 'no place for me?'" He struggled and squirmed, swatting at my hand. "I know what this place has in it. I'm 16! I can handle it!"
"You are too young!" I insisted, keeping my palm plastered over Yugi's virgin eyes and fighting to not make an ass of myself. "I wouldn't let my 16-year-old kid in here!"
"Then you'll make a great dad someday!" he mocked, grabbing my wrist and trying to shove me away.
"Oh, quiet, Aibou! Now let's go!"
"Let go! Or I'll stuff you in the Puzzle!"
Now this got my attention. That was the LAST thing I wanted. "You wouldn't!" I gasped, drawing back. He used this to shake himself free of my hand, and abruptly grew wide-eyed.
"GLOWY STUFF!!!" he hollered, bolting over to the corner of the store where I saw, as I attempted to peer over the shelves, a whole bunch of, as Yugi said, glowy stuff. Hm. He seemed not to notice the nasty stuff. I shook my head with a chuckle. If anyone could ignore gross stuff, it was Yugi. I began to wander aimlessly through the store, grimacing in distaste at the marijuana references on some of the merchandise, and at the sick comments on others. Spotting a shelf of neat lamps, I decided to investigate.
"AAH! You!" I picked myself up off of the floor where the speaker and I had fallen after our collision. The tomb robber!
"What are you doing in a store, thief?"
"Moshi moshi, Pharaoh! What planet are you from? This is my type of place! Snarky stuff, drug stuff, sadistic stuff, it positively screams 'steal me!'" Bakura snarled- quietly, he wasn't a total baka- in my face. I shoved him away, and started to randomly check out lava lamps and plasma balls.
"Heh. Baka Pharaoh," he chuckled, walking away.
I was rummaging through a rack of keychains, trying to see if they had any about being from a different time period, when I saw a strange sight. Jounouchi, at the counter. Curious, I stopped him at the door.
"Ohayo, Jou-kun. What have you there?" I asked, casually.
"Eh, nothin'," he muttered, clutching his bag shut.
"Nothing? Why would you be embarrassed about nothing?" I reached for the bag.
"I said, nothin', Yami! It's not important!" He held it out of my reach, but his own action did what I had meant to. It fell open, and out tumbled a leash. A black leather leash.
"Ooh! Is this for Kaiba's birthday next week?" I smirked, knowing Jou would say it wasn't, but unable to resist taunting him. He quickly shoved it back into the plastic sack, blushing furiously.
"No, baka! Shizuka's gettin' a retriever!"
"Well then, why didn't you get it from a pet store?"
"'Cause I didn't! Now can I go?" He crossed his arms, staring at me wearily. I let him pass, snickering at his poor attempt at an alibi.
I leaned against the doorframe, wondering how long Yugi could look at glowy stuff, and closed my eyes. Rubbing my temples, I groaned. I got up at seven for this?
Restless, I began to pace, glancing at the clock every five seconds or so. At one of my time-checks, I stared at it longer than I usually did, trying to force it to speed up. I suddenly found myself on the floor again, and I heard a shout. "Watch it, moron! I didn't come here to get flattened!"
Oh, shimatta. I know that voice! I groaned again, crawling to my feet. Seto Kaiba, billionaire baka extraordinaire. I glared. "Like I meant to land on my ass!"
He returned my death glare. "Like I care about your ass!" I raised my hand to deck him, but I was interrupted.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" I stumbled in the direction of Yugi's voice, my heart racing. Oh, no!
"What's wrong, Aibou?" I demanded. His face was pressed against a jewelry case, and I was afraid he had been slammed into it.
"Yamiyamiyamimoneymoneymoney!!!" he blurted hyperly, banging his fists against the glass. I blinked. Money?
"Anoo, what for, Yugi?"
"That," he whispered reverently. A collar, black with a golden buckle. Typical, except this one was studded with blood-red jewels. I could see why my hikari was so starry-eyed. It was beautiful- but it was ¥9000!
"Yugi, we can't afford that! I don't have any money on me!"
"Then get some!" he insisted.
"How? The only way I could get money right now is if I were to duel for it!"
"No, you don't have money to wager! But I have an idea!"
Uh-oh! I have a bad feeling about this! "What?"
"Kaiba's rich..." Yugi's eyes gleamed deviously.
"So? You don't really go up to your mortal enemy and ask to borrow ¥9000! He hates us!"
"You won't be borrowing; you'll get paid!"
I narrowed my eyes. Was Yugi out of his mind? "And why would Kaiba pay me?"
"Because you're going to kiss him!"
My eyes bugged, and my stomach began to churn. "Yugi! One, I wouldn't kiss Kaiba if my soul depended upon it, and two, why the hell would he pay me if I kissed him?"
"Simple. You kiss him until he pays you to stop!"
I gagged. The very idea- "No way!"
"Okay, then I'll do it!" My eyes burst out of their sockets.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Are you crazy? I'm not letting your mouth touch that- that filth!"
"So you'll do it?" Oh, crap. Those adorable... amethyst... eyes... No! Must... stay... strong... to keep... soul... intact...
"No! Neither of us will!" I shook my head clear of those... eyes...
"One of us will, and if you don't, I will!"
"I can keep you from it!"
"Nope! I'm the one who lets you out of the puzzle! Don't make me stuff you in it!"
"I don't care! Neither one of us is kissing that- thing!"
"If you're in the puzzle, how can you stop me?" I froze. No! Must... preserve... hikari's... innocence... but Kaiba... so evil... DAMN YOU YUGI!!!
I sighed with a sickened shudder, hanging my head in surrender. I squared my shoulders, and glanced around the shop. Thank Ra, no one else was there. Bad enough I had to ruin my life: I didn't want to ruin my reputation as well. Strolling over to Kaiba, I swore I'd keep it as quick as possible, and the only way to get it over with was to make it as bad as I could.
I pretended to be interested in a book called Life In Hell, when I suddenly grabbed a leash and threw it around Kaiba's neck. Knocking him down and straddling him, I planted a wet, gross, slobbery kiss right on his mouth. The last thing I saw was a bright light before I was entangled in the biggest fistfight of my existence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: I don't know if they have Spencer's in Japan. I don't care. Bakura is the evil one. Ryou is the good one. PLEASE review! Flames are okay, I WANT S'MORES!!!
Luke: WARNING!!! This is a very, um, interesting fic I wrote when I had free rein of the house (rare. YEAH!!! DAD'S NOT HERE!!!) . My first Net-published fic! First from any SkyWolf! THANKS A TON TO META FOR POSTING!!! And the plot bunny was his, too! Hope ya like! But this is VERY ODD. Warning! OOC Yugi, some Anzu bashing, YAOI (S/J, Y/YY, B/R, and a little fake S/YY).
SUMMARY: Why is Yugi acting so bizarre?
Chapter I: Torture.
~~~~YAMI POV~~~~
Okay, malls are stupid. But Yugi insisted, and I just can't say no to my hikari. So there I was, bored out of my skull, and I seriously had to get some fresh air. CLAUSTROPHOBIA... CAN'T BREATHE.
"Hey, Spencer's!" Yugi grabbed my arm, dragging me into a shop. Did I say shop? I meant MEDIEVAL TORTURE CHAMBER! I clapped a hand over Yugi's eyes as I tried to back out. "Yami, get your hand off my face!"
"This is no place for you, young one. Let's go."
"No way, Yami! And what do you mean, 'no place for me?'" He struggled and squirmed, swatting at my hand. "I know what this place has in it. I'm 16! I can handle it!"
"You are too young!" I insisted, keeping my palm plastered over Yugi's virgin eyes and fighting to not make an ass of myself. "I wouldn't let my 16-year-old kid in here!"
"Then you'll make a great dad someday!" he mocked, grabbing my wrist and trying to shove me away.
"Oh, quiet, Aibou! Now let's go!"
"Let go! Or I'll stuff you in the Puzzle!"
Now this got my attention. That was the LAST thing I wanted. "You wouldn't!" I gasped, drawing back. He used this to shake himself free of my hand, and abruptly grew wide-eyed.
"GLOWY STUFF!!!" he hollered, bolting over to the corner of the store where I saw, as I attempted to peer over the shelves, a whole bunch of, as Yugi said, glowy stuff. Hm. He seemed not to notice the nasty stuff. I shook my head with a chuckle. If anyone could ignore gross stuff, it was Yugi. I began to wander aimlessly through the store, grimacing in distaste at the marijuana references on some of the merchandise, and at the sick comments on others. Spotting a shelf of neat lamps, I decided to investigate.
"AAH! You!" I picked myself up off of the floor where the speaker and I had fallen after our collision. The tomb robber!
"What are you doing in a store, thief?"
"Moshi moshi, Pharaoh! What planet are you from? This is my type of place! Snarky stuff, drug stuff, sadistic stuff, it positively screams 'steal me!'" Bakura snarled- quietly, he wasn't a total baka- in my face. I shoved him away, and started to randomly check out lava lamps and plasma balls.
"Heh. Baka Pharaoh," he chuckled, walking away.
I was rummaging through a rack of keychains, trying to see if they had any about being from a different time period, when I saw a strange sight. Jounouchi, at the counter. Curious, I stopped him at the door.
"Ohayo, Jou-kun. What have you there?" I asked, casually.
"Eh, nothin'," he muttered, clutching his bag shut.
"Nothing? Why would you be embarrassed about nothing?" I reached for the bag.
"I said, nothin', Yami! It's not important!" He held it out of my reach, but his own action did what I had meant to. It fell open, and out tumbled a leash. A black leather leash.
"Ooh! Is this for Kaiba's birthday next week?" I smirked, knowing Jou would say it wasn't, but unable to resist taunting him. He quickly shoved it back into the plastic sack, blushing furiously.
"No, baka! Shizuka's gettin' a retriever!"
"Well then, why didn't you get it from a pet store?"
"'Cause I didn't! Now can I go?" He crossed his arms, staring at me wearily. I let him pass, snickering at his poor attempt at an alibi.
I leaned against the doorframe, wondering how long Yugi could look at glowy stuff, and closed my eyes. Rubbing my temples, I groaned. I got up at seven for this?
Restless, I began to pace, glancing at the clock every five seconds or so. At one of my time-checks, I stared at it longer than I usually did, trying to force it to speed up. I suddenly found myself on the floor again, and I heard a shout. "Watch it, moron! I didn't come here to get flattened!"
Oh, shimatta. I know that voice! I groaned again, crawling to my feet. Seto Kaiba, billionaire baka extraordinaire. I glared. "Like I meant to land on my ass!"
He returned my death glare. "Like I care about your ass!" I raised my hand to deck him, but I was interrupted.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" I stumbled in the direction of Yugi's voice, my heart racing. Oh, no!
"What's wrong, Aibou?" I demanded. His face was pressed against a jewelry case, and I was afraid he had been slammed into it.
"Yamiyamiyamimoneymoneymoney!!!" he blurted hyperly, banging his fists against the glass. I blinked. Money?
"Anoo, what for, Yugi?"
"That," he whispered reverently. A collar, black with a golden buckle. Typical, except this one was studded with blood-red jewels. I could see why my hikari was so starry-eyed. It was beautiful- but it was ¥9000!
"Yugi, we can't afford that! I don't have any money on me!"
"Then get some!" he insisted.
"How? The only way I could get money right now is if I were to duel for it!"
"No, you don't have money to wager! But I have an idea!"
Uh-oh! I have a bad feeling about this! "What?"
"Kaiba's rich..." Yugi's eyes gleamed deviously.
"So? You don't really go up to your mortal enemy and ask to borrow ¥9000! He hates us!"
"You won't be borrowing; you'll get paid!"
I narrowed my eyes. Was Yugi out of his mind? "And why would Kaiba pay me?"
"Because you're going to kiss him!"
My eyes bugged, and my stomach began to churn. "Yugi! One, I wouldn't kiss Kaiba if my soul depended upon it, and two, why the hell would he pay me if I kissed him?"
"Simple. You kiss him until he pays you to stop!"
I gagged. The very idea- "No way!"
"Okay, then I'll do it!" My eyes burst out of their sockets.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Are you crazy? I'm not letting your mouth touch that- that filth!"
"So you'll do it?" Oh, crap. Those adorable... amethyst... eyes... No! Must... stay... strong... to keep... soul... intact...
"No! Neither of us will!" I shook my head clear of those... eyes...
"One of us will, and if you don't, I will!"
"I can keep you from it!"
"Nope! I'm the one who lets you out of the puzzle! Don't make me stuff you in it!"
"I don't care! Neither one of us is kissing that- thing!"
"If you're in the puzzle, how can you stop me?" I froze. No! Must... preserve... hikari's... innocence... but Kaiba... so evil... DAMN YOU YUGI!!!
I sighed with a sickened shudder, hanging my head in surrender. I squared my shoulders, and glanced around the shop. Thank Ra, no one else was there. Bad enough I had to ruin my life: I didn't want to ruin my reputation as well. Strolling over to Kaiba, I swore I'd keep it as quick as possible, and the only way to get it over with was to make it as bad as I could.
I pretended to be interested in a book called Life In Hell, when I suddenly grabbed a leash and threw it around Kaiba's neck. Knocking him down and straddling him, I planted a wet, gross, slobbery kiss right on his mouth. The last thing I saw was a bright light before I was entangled in the biggest fistfight of my existence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: I don't know if they have Spencer's in Japan. I don't care. Bakura is the evil one. Ryou is the good one. PLEASE review! Flames are okay, I WANT S'MORES!!!