Disclaimer: The characters and places in this story belong to JK Rowling. This story is published for fan enjoyment only and is not intended to infringe on any rights of the author, or publishers of 'Harry Potter'. No money has or will be made from his story. I think that covers it!

Authors note:

This is my first Harry Potter story, and my first attempt into fanfiction land for quite some time. I'm a little nervous... I hope there aren't too many mistakes, and I hope I have stayed true to the characters as much as possible. Please feel free to leave a review! Thanks, and enjoy...

"Tell me where he is! Crucio…"

The blood rushing through her body no longer felt like the life giver she had always relied on, but instead a wave of burning heat, carrying pain to every nerve she possessed. Nymphadora Tonks did not know it was possible to feel agony like this, like your skull could split in two, your lungs gasp for air so much they feel as though they are tearing through your chest, ripping the skin as they go. If she could open her eyes to look, she was sure that her skin would be red raw, and blood must surely be poorly from her somewhere. But her eyes stayed shut tight, her mouth open, not sure, if it was to release the scream building from every part of her, or to suck in the air she desperately craved.

And in the depths of her anguish, there was nothing she could do to keep the crazed woman; circumstances would call her aunt, from running through her mind like it was her own personal play ground. She watched from a distance as Bellatrix rifled through her thoughts and memories, cackling and taunting as she went. Her childhood, the once sweet recollection of a day at the seaside with her mother and father, now tainted and stolen. Her time at school, that boy she liked in year six, her first kiss… nothing was spared.

Although Tonks felt the bitter pain of the violation, nothing prepared her for stirring of emotion when Bellatrix reached her memories of him.

"ahhh, does ickle Dora like the big bad wolfie…?" her aunt mocked.

'No! Not him. You can't have him…' Tonks thought as she clenched her aching fists and concentrated only on dispelling the woman from her mind.

And suddenly she was gone. Her mind was her own again, but the pain of the Cruistas curse still coursed through her body, and the extra effort of pushing Bellatrix out exhausted Tonks. She fell into a sweet numbness, as though she were floating, as she descended into darkness.

…..

"Something's not right. I'm telling you Kingsley, she should have been here by now."

"Remus, pacing around like a caged animal is not going to help anyone, you'll just ware a hole in the carpet. I am sure she's just been held up at the office. If it will make you feel better I'll go and see what's keeping her."

To Kingsley's offer, Remus nodded slowly. If he was entirely honest, he was over reacting; he knew that as well as the other members of the Order, who stared at him as if afraid to speak. 'She is only half an hour late' he thought as he forced himself to sit down in the high backed kitchen chair by the fire. However, there was a niggling feeling in his gut that would not go away. Since the day he met her, she had nestled herself in his heart with her tender smile, and clumsy ways. Day by day since then, her place had become bigger, taking over not just his heart, but occupying his thoughts too. He knew he had no right to feel as he did about her, after all, he was an old, decrepit, poor werewolf with no life, no riches, nothing he could offer her only a life of rejection and struggle.

Sirius placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as they sat in silence awaiting Kinsley's return. He offered him a firewiskey, but Remus refused, realising he felt sick as he scrubbed a slightly shaky hand over his face. When the sound of the front door came, followed by heavy footsteps along the hall he was on his feet and rounding the corner in seconds. The sight that greeted him turned his blood cold.

"Quickly, Kinsley, bring her in here." He instructed the tall Auror who carried the limp and lifeless body of Nymphadora Tonks.

"What is it, what's all the fuss abo… Merlin! Here, lay her here, gently now! Mind her head" Molly took control, arranging for the girl to be placed on the sofa, her head supported by the tatty old cushions. The little matriarchal woman worked like a whirlwind, disappearing back into the kitchen, and remerging with potions in hand, and a band of follows close to heel.

"What happened?" Remus was almost afraid to ask.

"Found her in an abandoned corridor near the department of mysteries, being attacked by Lestrange. Took quite some doing, but I managed to spoke her in the end. She disappeared in typical death eater style." Kingsleys tone sounded oddly slow and pained for the strong auror.

Remus nodded as he watched from the shadows. Molly carefully lifted Tonks head and put a bottle to her lips. The seconds that past felt like hours before the girl finally coughed and began to move. Suddenly, she sat bolt upright and a slight scream escaped her lips; a look of blind panic on her face. Remus made a move to go to her, but the red headed woman stilled the reflexive reaction by engulfing her tiny frame in her arms and rocking her gently.

"It's alright Tonks dear, you're safe." Molly soothed her, gently patting her back.

…

For a moment, all she could focus on was how the pain in her head felt so acute. Then it occurred to her as she sat bolt upright, searching desperately for her wand. 'Bellatrix, where is Bellatrix', she thought before letting out a gasp at the fresh wave of sickness the pain of the sudden movement sent through her head and down to her toes.

There was a voice that she recognised, and a comforting hand on her back. Her eyes adjusted to the room for the first time as she found she was no longer at the Ministry, but at Grimmauld Place.

"We need to know what happened, Tonks" Moody demanded, stepping forward with purpose. The sound made her flinch and clutch her head.

"Can't it wait, Alistair? The poor girl has been through enough, surely." Molly's plea fell on deaf ears.

"What information was she after, quickly girl!" moody had taken hold of her by her shoulders and was shaking Tonks urgently. "Does she know about this place? We need to know now, time may be of the essence." He demanded.

"No! No, Mad-eye, she doesn't know. Please!" Tonks was desperate for him to stop; she feared if she didn't vomit all over him, then her head might fall off. Moody growled and dropped her, turning his back and taking a deep swig from his hip flask.

"She wanted to know where Dumbledore is hiding." She said after a moment of composure. "She over powered me in Scrimgeour's office. He'd sent word that he wanted to see me, but when I went in… she must have been hiding behind the door or something." Tonks shot a guilty look at the man who had trained her to be an Auror, the man who always stressed the importance of 'constant vigilance'. "She stunned me and next thing I know I'm in some dark corridor. She was screaming and cackling about you-know-who and demanding to know where Dumbledore is. I kept telling her I don't know, but that wasn't good enough. She tried legilimency and when that didn't work, she resorted to her old favourite…" Tonks shuddered and closed her eyes tightly.

"The crutiatas curse?" Molly whispered with disgust, and Tonks nodded.

"Charming woman, your aunt." Sirius spoke up, laughing bitterly and placing a sympathetic hand on his cousin's shoulder.

"The more she used it, the weaker I got, until I couldn't find the strength for occlumency anymore."

"Think carefully Tonks. We need to know if she saw anything, any tiny seemingly insignificant detail that could be our undoing." Kingsley asked slowly, with a sideways glance at moody.

She tried hard to concentrate, too remember exactly what had happened, but her mind was still clouded by pain. She took a deep breath and swung her legs around to sit up, resting her arms on her knees and running her hands through her hair. She could feel everyone watching her, and she knew they were waiting with baited breath to see if she had finally let them down. She knew she was the weak link in the order; young, clumsy, emotional. But she was sure. Well, as sure as she could be.

"She saw images from my childhood and teens. She saw my mum and dad, but nothing she didn't already know, so they are in just as much danger as they were before…" Tonks swallowed that thought and pushed past it. "She saw me with Remus… in the Hogshead." For the first time Tonks sort out the man she cared so much about. Finally she spotted him in the shadows at the back of the room; he's head bowed and brow creased with a pained look on his face. Was he angry at her?

"Nymphadora…" Moody asked, looking at her with suspicion.

"So she knows that I know Remus, surely she can't get anything from that? We were in a public place, and I'm certain she didn't hear any conversation. I knew she was getting to close… I got some strength from somewhere and fought back." Tonks looked at Remus once more and willed him to know that he had been her strength. Was it her imagination, or had she seen the hint of a smile on his lips. "After that, everything went black." Tonks sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.

"When I arrived, she was throwing you around like a rag doll. You must have hit your head." Kinsley surmised in his low booming tones.

"That explains the headache from hell" Tonks laughed ironically, then added, "Thanks Kingsley. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be dead by now." She looked the man in the eye and gave him a warm smile.

"Don't thank me, it was Remus who insisted I go and look for you. Maybe it's his condition, but I reckon you must have a sixth sense my friend" Kingsley turned and aimed a knowing look at the man.

"Remus…" Tonks whispered the question and watched his body tense for a moment before he turned around and stepped out of the shadows at last. As the dying suns orangey pink rays hit his face, her breath caught. He looked older than his years and more haggard than she had ever seen him, including after his monthly transformations. She realised in that second that he had suffered with her tonight. Her physical pain was there for all to see, but on his face.

The atmosphere changed in that room, the air was suddenly electrified, and all could feel the hairs gently rising as the couples eyes locked onto each other, speaking a thousand words, but never making a sound.

Coughing lightly, and breaking the spell, Molly Weasley gently placed a hand on Tonks knee.

"You need to rest, love. Now, are you hungry?"

"No, not at the moment." Tonks replied, turning her head to Molly and smiling as much as she could muster.

"Well, off to bed with you then. I'll bring you up some tea later."

"That's great, thanks Molly".

Tonks stood slowly and tested her legs. They didn't quite feel like hers anymore, but she supposed she could blame her probable fall down the stairs on her famous clumsiness.

"Remus, be a dear and show her to the room on the top floor. The one on the left." Molly added, as subtly as she could, but both parties knew the woman's motive, and where silently thankful to her for giving them an excuse to be alone.

He took her gently by the elbow and guided her out of the room and up the stairs in silence. The thoughts that occupied his head were blurred by the need to concentrate on the feel of her warm, alive, skin beneath his finger tips.

When they reached the small dark little room, Remus waved his wand and instantly the candles sprung into life as he shut the door behind them. Tonks stood before him on unsteady legs, her hair faded to brown, her eyes grey and her skin sullen and pale. This was not the woman he had fallen in love, but a shadow of her without her colour, her life. Equally, Remus appeared as though he had not slept for days, and his cloths hung from his frame with nothing to fill them. The war had only just begun, and already both felt jaded by the trails of day to day life.

"Hold me. Please" Tonks whispered, suddenly unable to stand the distance between them. With two large steps, he engulfed her in his arms. He gave a heavy sigh, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead, before burying his face in her hair. Tonks wrapped her arms around his far too slim middle, and grabbed handfuls of his jumper, clinging to him for all her life was worth. She burrowed her face into his neck, comforted by the smell of soap and … books.

"I thought… when you didn't arrive at the meeting… I was" Remus groaned in frustration, unable to voice his deep seated fear.

"I know sweetheart." Tonks mumbled into his shoulder. He stood back and took her face in his large, shaking hands; his thumb caressing her soft cheek. For a moment they were content just to look into the pool of each other's eyes, allowing themselves to get lost, escape this cold world for a few seconds. But soon it was not enough. Soon, Remus moved towards her lips, brushing them with his own in an achingly slow movement; his bottom lip caught hold of her top one, and he begun to kiss her in a way he had never kissed her, or anyone before, because it was not just a kiss, it was a message.

'I love you' lips grazed lips, 'I was so scared' her mouth parts a little to allow his deeper access, 'I want to protect you, too make it all ok' his tongue brushes against hers, 'I love you'. She hears his words, drawing them straight from his mouth without the need for voice, and responds with her own. 'I love you too' her hands glide up his back to hold his face gently, 'when I'm with you, I feel safe' her tongue touches his lips, 'stay with me, inside me, on me, be my skin, be my heart' her kiss becomes desperate and deep and passionate. When they need to breathe, they stand forehead to forehead, and with eyes closed, listening to and thanking god for the breath that surges through the other.

Finally, Tonks legs can hold her weight no longer, and she collapses into her lovers arms. He lifts her up gently, carrying her to the small old bed in the corner of the room. Placing her softly down, he removes her shoes and lifts her legs onto the bed.

"You should rest. You've been through a lot today. Sleep, get your strength back." He says warmly, smiling just a little as she shuffles down and makes herself comfortable. Satisfied that she is safe, he turns to leave.

"Don't go, Remus. Stay… just until I fall asleep…" he can see the fear in her eyes and cannot deny her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he removes his own shoes and lies down beside her. She quickly snuggles into his arms and clings tightly to his clothes, something she has a habit of doing, as if afraid if she let go he would disappear.

"I just need to feel…safe for a while." She breathed into his chest, and he kisses her head, holding her tighter to his body.

"You are safe now, I promise I won't let anything happen to you." He whispers as she slowly gives into the aching tiredness in her body and let's sleep claim her.