Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing in this story other than any characters I have made up (Lexi) and even then, they probably still aren't mine.
A/N This story is Mary-Marshall centric but this is Mary's story and she may be slightly O/C. There is a possibility that this may become more than a one shot but it is highly, highly unlikely because of my lack of time to do so.
Does anyone really know what love is? Well I do. Love is a mix of chemical signals in the brain that make us feel happy. So, when we feel happy, we call it love and we ride that wave as long as we possibly can. But don't be fooled, that wave ends, and when it does, it gets ugly.
I was so close to leaving without a hitch until I heard the sleep infused voice, "Querida? Where are you going? It's five o'clock in the morning. Come back to bed with me."
"Raph, it's work. I need to go." I replied. I wasn't in the mood to talk, not only because it was 5 AM but also because I knew this would be the start of a fight.
"Work, work, work. That's what you tell me every time Mary but I know it's Marshall. Don't even try to lie to me anymore." At any other point in the day I would have come right back with some insult or something but not now and not when it was for work.
"Yeah. Generally when it's work it's Marshall. That's because I work with Marshall. I don't know what your problem is; the dots are already connected for you." I sighed. I couldn't let this last. "I have to go; maybe I'll see you later."
I escaped the room before I could hear his reply. I grabbed my bag and headed out to the Sunshine Building to meet up with Marshall. It was time to go manage a witness. This witness, formerly Alexandra Jackson and now Alexandra Parker, was supposedly tracked by the guys trying to kill her. It would be an easy witness, already testified in court, no indication that she was detected by anyone on any of the connecting flights, and just had to set her up somewhere nice in Albuquerque.
"Alexandra 'Lexi' Parker: witnessed a murder by four drug cartel members, testified against all four of them three days ago, about to arrive at the tarmac for transport."
"Yeah thanks Marshall, you know, because I can't read and all." I know he was just trying to be helpful but it was early, very early and despite it being May, it was uncharacteristically cold for Albuquerque. Marshall must have noticed me shiver because without preamble, he took off his jacket and laid it on top of my shoulders. I turned to smile at him in thanks. The rest of the wait for the plane was spent in comfortable silence. When Lexi finally did arrive, we made appropriate introductions and afterwards, we left. For the next few days, Lexi would need to stay in a hotel until Marshall and I could get a suitable house set up for her. When our witness was safely in the hotel room, Marshall and I started our drive back to work.
When we were half way to work, against my better judgment I said, "Marshall, why don't we just go back to your house. We can get breakfast and then go into work."
"Yeah sure, sounds good to me Mare" he replied. I wasn't sure why, but at that moment in time I noticed that Marshall had a very pained expression on his face. I would have asked him about it but when I turned back to face him again, the look was gone. We continued for another five or so minutes until we got to his house.
As we walked into the house, Marshall asked me what I wanted to eat. I told him whatever was convenient for him to make, and headed to the back of his house to use the restroom. When I came back out to the kitchen, pancake batter was being mixed and an egg carton rested next to the stove.
"Can I help with the eggs Cowboy?" As I said 'cowboy' I saw a flicker of that pained expression again, but Marshall recovered quickly.
"Thanks Cowgirl, I could use all the help I can get."
"You just made a joke about yourself you know. You just did my job for me. You trying to put me out of work Doofus?" I said with a smirk.
"Haha, Mare, very funny. You know what I meant." He replied. These normal banter filled moments where the things that let me know that Marshall was either okay or he would be okay soon.
I was standing at the island in front of the stove waiting for the burner to heat up enough when I felt Marshall try to squeeze between me and the counter to get to the fridge. When he was behind me, he kind of startled me and I turned around quickly. When I did, he was standing right in front of me, just staring at me. Suddenly, I had an absurdly strong urge to tilt my head and lean up a little to kiss him. I could see the gears turning in his head as he leaned a little closer just as I did. Then when we were only inches apart Marshall pulled back.
"How are Jinx and Brandi?" He asked. Surely this was just to distract himself and try to distract me.
"They're good. Of course I can't get them to stop hoarding my house though." I answered only because I knew Marshall needed me to keep some distance. Maybe that was the pained look. He wanted to kiss me. If he really wanted to, why wouldn't he? Come on Mann, seriously, be a man. That was when I realized how much of a man he was being. He was being a respectful, strong, and kind man. He would never do that to someone else's fiancée.
"Marshall?" he looked up, "At my engagement party, in your toast, you said that you loved me. Please tell me what kind of love you meant. And you better not lie to me or I will cut off your balls in your sleep, don't doubt me." I needed him to admit that he loved me first. I needed to know for sure before I could say anything else.
"You're my best friend Mare, my only friend." I already had a bad feeling about where this was headed. He would tell me everything that every other man had told me 'I'm leaving' some, in not so many words. "I don't want to say anything that would ruin that for us." Again with that damn look.
"Marshall freaking Mann I need you to tell me what you meant!" I was getting frustrated now, I just wanted, needed to know.
"I…I have loved you for a long time now Mary. From the moment we met I could tell you were something special, something worth holding on to. If you call, I will come, every time. I love you Mary." He was looking slightly worse for wear. The only think I could think of is what came next. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered 'I love you too' against his lips just before we kissed. The kiss was slow and full of years' worth of passion. The only bad part about the kiss was when it ended from lack of oxygen. For a while we stood there still clinging onto each other tightly, just staring into each other's eyes. Marshall was the one to break the companionable silence.
"What about Raph and your…" before he could finish I interrupted.
"That can be taken care of by the end of the day. It needed to happen sooner or later. I don't love him, certainly not as much as I love you and certainly not enough to marry him." I replied. I wasn't lying either. Raph and I just weren't good for each other. He resented Marshall and my job and I resented him for resenting Marshall and my job.
After a few more moments of heated, passionate kisses, Mary broke away.
"Before this goes anywhere I hope it will, I need to take care of Raph first. Is that okay?" I wasn't really sure why I asked. Usually I was always so sure of myself; I didn't need anybody's permission.
"Uh, yeah…yeah. I prefer that actually. It makes this feel less like a beautiful dream." He ran his hand across my cheek to push a stray hair behind my ear. I tried to hold back my glowing smile but by the look on his face, I could tell that I let a little bit sneak through the mask.
Reluctantly I stepped out of Marshall's warm embrace and headed for my purse. I wanted to get this Raph thing over as quick as possible. I'd hoped this would be quick and painless but I highly doubted it. So after saying goodbye to my…I don't know, boyfriend? That just sounded so childish, boyfriend. He was just Marshall…my Marshall. I walked out to the driveway and drove back to my house. I had to make this quick because it was about seven and I was supposed to be in at work at eight.
I parked my car in my driveway and walked into the house. I had expected Raph to be asleep still because he wasn't really an early riser but there he was, making coffee in my kitchen.
"Raph, we need to talk, right now." I left no room for argument. This needed to be ended once and for all.
"Well I don't know Mary. You decided we weren't going to have a conversation when you left this morning so maybe I'm deciding that we won't have a conversation now." Oh dear lord. Sure ass hole, pick now to be relentlessly stubborn.
"This one isn't up for debate. This relationship is going nowhere. It has to end now because I don't want to keep lying to everyone. I am sorry that this happened but did you seriously think this would've worked out?" I didn't exactly mean to bring it up so harshly but the man was getting on my last nerve and so I kind of just blurted it out.
At first he looked extremely distraught and upset. That was the part that I expected to see from him. The part that shocked me was the look of immense anger that followed shortly after.
With a scowl on his face he grabbed his jacket off of the back of the couch and yelled, "I cannot even believe you Mary Shannon." And then he walked out. Well, it was definitely quick.
I didn't have much time before work so I quickly went to my room, splashed some cold water on my face, and then went out to my car. Sure enough, Raph's car was gone and my probe had clearly visible white scratch that ran from the front of the car to the end of the driver's side door. Yeah, understandable I guess but I was pissed. The fact that he did something this stupid just because I told him something that the two of us knew from the very start of our twisted relationship. I could've called Bobby D and asked him to file charges for destruction of property but I thought that would probably make it even worse. If it came down to that later, I could just call in for the favor then.
When I got to work about fifteen minutes later, I sat at my desk with a cup of coffee waiting for me with a note. The note read: Sorry we didn't get to eat breakfast but maybe I could make you dinner sometime? Obviously the note was from Marshall but it bothered me a little that he was willing to put something like that on my desk. I didn't exactly know the fraternization rules of the WITSEC department but my guess was that it was very frowned upon. I made a mental reminder to talk to him about that later.
After about ten minutes of filling out paperwork for Lexi's case, Marshall and Stan walked out of Stan's office.
"How's my witness Mary? Keeping her safe?"
"Well that is what they pay me for, isn't it McQueen?" I hadn't picked up my head yet for fear of any sappy face/comment that I might make if I saw Marshall.
"Well, I'll leave you to it." Stan said as he retreated back to the safety of his office.
I looked at Marshall at his desk, "What were you thinking Doofus! You could have got someone's attention with this note." I hissed. I didn't want to end a good thing before it actually started.
"That's what my meeting with Stan was about. I came in a little early to talk to him about the possibility of an 'us'. At first he was completely against it but I pointed out the fact that we knew about him and Eleanor. That's just about when he caved. Mare, were fine…if we do decide to make an 'us' I mean." He was sort of rambling and he seemed a little nervous so I put him out of his misery.
"What do you mean 'if' idiot. Of course there's an 'us'." I smiled and he did too. Things seemed to be looking up for us. "So, what are you going to make me for dinner tonight?"
He laughed a true laugh, a real laugh, his laugh. And that's when I knew everything was as it should be.
A/N Wow, two an's in one chapter. This one is just a Happy Mother's day to all of the mothers out there and a reminder to all of the kids with mothers to make the most important woman in your life feel special today.