Title: Here In This World With You
Fanfic Type: One-shot
Pairing: Jake/Dan
A/N: Some of the events used are from the battles with Jake from the time he was first captured, after fighting Robin. Basically, it's my version of what happens after the fight with Barodius. I may have some details messed up. None of the events are in any particular order. First Bakugan fanfic.
Um, I think that's it. Please R&R! And correct me if I messed up,too! Arigato gozaimasu!
Why was I back here? What exactly did I need to be here for?
I questioned that every day since I came back from our battle with Barodius. I wanted to stay as far away from the others as I could, particularly Dan. He and all the others seemed to be fine, and even Drago and Coredom seemed back to normal.
So why was I still so...I don't know. Distant, I think, would be the word. I hadn't been able to sleep in days, and I knew I was worrying Dan senseless. But whenever he tried to talk to me about it, I grew protective. I really wanted to tell him what I couldn't stand holding in anymore, but when it came time for it, I just couldn't do it.
Pretty soon, I finally let it out. I cried myself to sleep for countless nights. And still, I put on a mask, tried to get everyone to believe that I was fine. I have no clue how long I lied to everyone...or to myself.
One particular evening, while the entire castle was quiet, I stepped out into the cool evening air on the palace balcony, and I stared up at the sky. It was so peaceful tonight. Something that the Neathians truly deserved. I thought about the Third Shield, and I realized that that everyone would be okay.
Then, really for a reason I couldn't fathom at that moment, I let hose hot, salty tears run down my face. I was thinking about all this. Dan...he risked his life to save mine... I led him into this, got Marucho hurt...
I hadn't known that Dan was up and alert until he came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Jake? Are you alright, dude?" Soft, yet concerned, just like always.
I could've said it. I could've told him the whole story. But when I tried to tell him even the beginning, it all got stuck in my throat, and I just let the tears come more heavily. Dan must've understood, thought I wasn't really sure why.
"Jake..."Why did I feel like this? I don't know. All I know was that he hugged me. Tight. It was... I think I felt a little...suffocated. I heard his heartbeat. It sounded...steady. He was calm. Unlike me.
I buried my face in his arms and cried some more. If anything, that was the most relived I felt in awhile. He kept comforting me, and I was thankful that someone was here. "Jake, it's over now, okay? Don't cry anymore..." he cooed in my ear. I clung onto him for dear life, and he chuckled. I didn't care. Nothing mattered then.
"Jake, what's the matter?" he asked, his voice so very soft. And then, I did it. I told him everything. I was surprised I remembered anything.
"Dan...she won't...leave me alone..." I choked out. In all honesty, I really wanted to avoid this, and I think at that point, I wanted the nightmares over this any day.
But it was time. My head, my body,my very soul all told me to stop making Dan worry. I cared about him too much.
Slowly releasing my grip on him, I let out a sigh, trying to figure out where to start.
"Dan, I know that...that ship...it was so cold. After the battle with Robin, me and Coredem were unconscious for awhile, until I came around. I really had no idea how long I was out. Coredem...I wasn't sure about him. He wasn't in the room with me. Kazerina...she came in, and I know she said something, and the she began to send electric currents throughout my body."
Dan looked at me, his eyes wide. "Are you serious?" I nodded. Then I turned my gaze onto the sky, my mind still going on about those hours, days, however long we were on that piece of trash ship.
"Oh God...it hurt. I screamed my throat raw, Dan. When she finally finished with that, she sent in another assistant to help her. I was floating in and out of conscious, so I was not too sure as to what he did to me, at first." Dan pulled back, and looked at me. "What do you mean 'at first'?"
I snuggled closer to Dan, his body emitting a lot of body heat. "He did something to I came to, and I mean fully came to, my body...I was covered in blood...and I could hardly move...it all hurt too much...so I just laid there, waiting for her to finish me off. But the next thing I knew...I was...all my wounds were healed...and that's when I was brainwashed." Dan took a deep breath.
"What happened? Why the blood? Do you recall anything else?" he pressed on. All these questions were making my head hurt. I nodded. "You, Dan. I always saw your face...wish I knew why." I was starting to grow real sleepy...when something else came to me.
"And...she said wanted me broken." Dan asked what I meant.
"She...she wanted me so weak...that whatever she planned to do...I had no choice but to obey her..." I whispered, wondering why it was that I did it. No one was here but us...which sounded strange.
"Jake..." I smiled a little,but I wishing deep inside me that he wouldn't do that. The way he said it... it made all that guilt rise even more inside my heart.
Soon, it became dead silent. I closed my eyes, my mind focused on Dan. He was quiet, and I had a feeling that he was thinking about what I just told him. I was glad, though. His eyes...when I saw them on that ship...it really freaked me out. He wanted to reach out to me, and I left him alone.
I never want to see that ever again. I don't care how tough he tries to act. I literally felt his fear radiating from him when I came back at last. I knew that it was my fault. His ruby eyes...they were so dead, and I was frightened that I lost him in that world he was in. I didn't want to see him hurt anymore, I knew that much.
You know? I hadn't even realized that I was half-asleep until Dan said my name again. "Jake?" I want to sleep!
"Huh..." Dan seemed uneasy to talk anymore, and I was glad. I really wanted to sleep.
"Jake, you remember anything while you were brainwashed?" I slowly shook my head no. "Sorry..." Dan nodded, and that's when I knew. He knew something. He knew something that may of happened while I was gone. But why couldn't he tell me?
"Dan... I know there's something else. Tell me, what is it?" The urge to sleep died. This was important.
Dan kinda reclined, and I had this intense feeling in my gut that something just wasn't right. Then again, I asked. I think I'd better just take the truth.
"Jake...do you...do you remember ever meeting up with Marucho and Shun?" , he asked, his voice very low. I looked up at him.
"You mean inside the ship? While brainwashed?" Dan nodded. "No. Why?" I asked, now feeling completely uneasy.
"And do you remember capturing me and Drago? Having Kazarina nearly take me out, and witnessing the old witch creating Drago's new brother?" "No. Dan, what..."
"And...do you remember leading a massive search team against the others? Giving away our methods of battle, our plans,everything?" I shook my head again. "Dan, what are you..."
Then, realization tackled the heck out of my mind.
"Dan, you're saying...I battled Marucho...gave him that scar on his forehead... then I capture and hand you over to Kazerina, allow them to create Phantom Dharak, and have you all pretty much killed on sight?" Dan's expression told me everything.
"Dan...why did you..." I couldn't finish. Drago was nearly hurt because of me. I fought Dan and the others so many times, and I left him when he called out to me. It took my own will to free him, and I did manage to patch things up with everyone, but it didn't matter. I nearly killed them all!
Dan tilted his head, and asked me if I was okay. I stood up, and said that I wanted to be alone for while. I left before he could stop me.
I walked down the hallway, and barely made it to my room before I let the tears out again. We nearly lost the very city we swore to help protect. I nearly lost people I loved, as well as our Bakugan. No one would've lived, and I probably would have gotten killed. And all because of a fight over something so dumb...
I laid on my stomach, my face in my pillow. ' I should have listened to him in the first place. Otherwise we wouldn't have gotten in this mess.' I thought. My tears were soaking my pillow, and I was surprised. I was crying so...calmly, almost. It sorta freaked me out.
Turning my head to the right, I noticed Coredem resting on my table lamp. I smiled to myself. They were all okay, I knew that. They were okay, but they were almost dead. I didn't care what Dan said. I knew they hadn't forgiven me. Not yet. And that was fine. I didn't want them to.
"Jake? You alright in here?" he called out. I turned my body around so that I was lying on my back. "Yeah. I'm alright." I said. Dan came in and sat down next to me.
There was this weird silence. Again. I could actually hear his heartbeat echoing in the room. I hated it, but I was afraid to say anything.
Then Dan spoke. And what he said finally made me snap.
"Jake. I understand that you're feeling guilty about all this. But you have to see that we knew it wasn't you. I knew you wouldn't allow what happened to happen. So quit beating yourself up about it, alright?"
I literally leaped of the bed, and I yelled. I didn't care if the whole city could hear me.
"How, Dan? How? I let myself be captured because I wouldn't listen! I risked every last one of guy's lives because you came to get me! I hurt Marucho, Akiwamos, Drago, Coredem, everyone was at risk to die from those psychos!"
"What are you getting at, Jake? That we leave you there to die?" Dan was quiet when he said it. I know he didn't want to get to that point. But I wanted a point. I didn't care what it was. "You should have! It would have done us all a favor!"
That eerie silence followed for the third time, and I couldn't take this. I wanted Dan to stop acting that everything was fine, because we both knew it was going to take awhile for us to go back to normal.
Sitting back down on my bed, I pulled my legs up to my chest. It was then that I looked up, and through blurry eyes, saw him coming toward me. I put my head down, trying to force myself not to cry anymore. I wanted to let my feelings out. In one way, I felt like I did, and in another way, I couldn't release something. But what was it? I grew frustrated. At Dan, at them, but mostly myself.
"Jake. Look at me." His voice was low, but it...there was a softness I hadn't noticed before. So I did.
I did, and all of a sudden...
He kissed me. Dan Kuso kissed me.
I wasn't...I didn't know what to think. As if him trying to sugar-cover everything to make me feel better wasn't bad enough, he kisses me. But that wasn't that a bad thing...was it?
I let him kiss me, but my mind was running. Too many...I don't know, paradox-type feelings were all crowded inside me at once.
At one point, I liked it. I liked the feeling of his lips against mine. I liked him holding me like he did, extremely close. Especially since I was frozen to the spot for a moment.
But then again, as I slowly felt my body trembling, I began to...dislike it. And was it any wonder? I was freaked out. My guard was down, and he saw it. I begun to hate him for it.
Then the inevitable thought: Why didn't I break free? Acted like it never happened?
And it clicked. And it was quite obvious.
Because I loved him the way he loved me. It overpowered my senses, my thoughts, everything.
And I think I was too...unwilling to look within myself to see it.
When we pulled away, my eyes still wide and confused, I asked him in a tiny voice, "Dan, why did you do that?"
Dan smirked, and gently brushed some unknown tears away. Then he said, "Isn't it obvious?" I nodded, not really catching what he meant, yet catching it at the same time. 'I hate paradoxes...' I mentally said.
"I love you, Jake. Just in case you didn't get it." Dazed, I nodded again. Dan ducked under my arm, and I held him close, not realizing that I did.
"Thank you, Dan. For staying with me." "No problem."
This time, the silence was...it was okay. I liked that the tension in the air...it was gone. My whole being felt lighter, and I realized then that I had to admit two things:
One, I saw that Dan was showing me something. I had gained the forgiveness of everyone but myself. Dan noticed, heck, probably everyone did...but the person who should have accepted it for what it was. And two...I was in love with Dan Kuso. And I was quite thankful for it. Why, I can't really explain.
Dan sensed that I was about to fall asleep, and moved so that I could get into my bed properly. He removed my hairband. I laid down, then rolled over to my side, my hair getting in my eyes, but too tired to redo the process of tying my hair. Dan climbed in the other side, and took my hand. I lightly gripped it, thankful he was here. I was thankful for many things...and never again would I lose sight of what's important.
"Good night, Jake. Love you." I tried to respond, but my brain had already fallen asleep, and I couldn't string together a statement. Yet, just before I was gone for the night, I thought of something. Dan hated when I grew upset. He wanted to see me back to how I was, just like I do. "Night..." I murmured quietly. I heard a light chuckle, and then a sweet dream whisked me out of reality.
I made a promise to myself to tell Dan in the following days to come that I love him before I went to bed at night. I had no particular reason. I just like to tell him sometimes.
END