after the war

by you know im gilderoylockhart

how people were affected by the war and what they remember most. draco will never stop wondering what he could have done differently, how many lives could he have saved? ginny will never stop seeing harry's body, dead in hagrid's arms when she falls asleep. she'll never be able to hold him close enough, never fully sure he's okay.

After the war draco stays up long nights, looking at his tattoo and just thinking about all the things he wishes he had done differently, his only companion in that big house the bottle of firewhiskey next to him. He doesn't go to sleep. When he sleeps all he sees is bellatrix torturing hermionie for fun. He shudders and takes another sip of firewhiskey, wondering how long he can stay awake this time.

After the war ron gets flashes of being chased by the snatchers, afraid he'll never get back to harry and hermionie. Afraid they'll always think of him as the coward that ran away, that they'll never even know he tried. In his mind, no matter how fast he runs they always catch him. He finds himself apologizing to harry and hermionie far too much, afraid they're still holding onto resentment from when he left.

After the war george weasley doesn't leave his flat. He gets rid of all the mirrors. He's careful to keep his head down when he walks past windows. One time he accidentally looked up and thought he saw fred. The disappointment when he realized it was only a reflection was almost too much to handle. He smashed the window and never got it fixed. He simply taped a sheet up.

After the war hermionie still wakes up screaming in the middle of the night. She can still feel the knife in her arm, still feel the curse move through her body. She's not ashamed of her scar, it's who she is, but she is afraid of the memory. The sneering face of bellatrix haunts her more than she ever thought it could.

After the war harry still forgets to eat sometimes. Old habits from being back at privet drive combined with his year searching for horcruxes refusing to die. One day he feels so guilty he goes straight to gringotts and withdraws two thousand galleons, donating them to orphanages, not wanting children to grow up hungry like he did. Sometimes he even goes to visit them. On the days he thinks he can handle it.

After the war molly weasley still knits jumpers for everyone at christmas. One year she was half finished with fred's before she realized fred would never be around to wear one of her jumpers ever again. She finished it anyways.

After the war arthur weasley and neville longbottom started going to saint mungos together once a month. Arthur would go visit patients in the emergency ward, sometimes bringing small gifts with him, just to make sure their spirits stayed high, remembering the time he himself was there. Neville would go visit his parents, bringing them different plants each time. Some with bright purple flowers, some that just smelled nice, in an effort to brighten up the room they would never leave. Each time he received a candy wrapper in return. He always made sure to put it in his box with the others when he got home. After their visits at saint mungos neville and arthur would go to get coffee together. Sometimes they would talk about their visits and sometimes they wouldn't.

After the war ginny weasley still had nightmares about seeing harry, limp and dead in hagrid's arms. Each time she woke from one she had to wake harry up too. Just to make sure he was okay. Sometimes she felt guilty about it, but he said he didn't mind. She just needed him to hold her until she went back to sleep.

After the war teddy lupin heard about his parents, always imagining them, but never really knowing if his imagination was right or not. He just wanted to see their smiles, hear them talk to him, hug them. just once. Just to know what it was like. But, of course, he knew he never could.