Out of Sorts
Paul Stamets felt every one of the temporal loops and he was exhausted, but he had to make sure Hugh was okay. Added scene to "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad". Hugh/Paul fluff.
By Emiliana Keladry
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek: Discovery. If I did, there would be a lot more Hugh/Paul moments. :)
Author's note: I'm not a doctor, so please forgive any medical mistakes. :) I just really wanted to write a fluff moment for Paul and Hugh after that episode, which was one of my favorites. The first part is in Paul's POV and it switches to Hugh's POV. Enjoy!
Lieutenant Paul Stamets placed his hands on the transporter console in front of him, stabilizing himself as the room spun around him. He shook his head and blinked several times to clear the small dots forming in his vision. It was over. Harry Mudd was gone and the temporal loop stopped. He wouldn't have to have the same conversation with Burnham again or try to escape Hugh without explaining why he was experiencing the same things over and over. His arms felt heavy and his throat ached slightly, causing him to cough. He wanted to know if Hugh was okay and if he'd felt the effects of the loops. Paul focused on the situation at hand and wondered how to explain this. So much happened in all of the loops, too much to explain at once, but he was sure the Captain would demand a full explanation at once. He didn't like to be kept waiting.
"Burnham, is it done?" Captain Lorca called over the comm.
"Yes, sir. Mudd won't be bothering us again," Burnham replied.
Ash Tyler holstered his weapon and smiled. Tyler glanced at Paul and his expression faltered as Paul let out a shaky breath. He straightened, ignoring the look that Tyler was giving him. What was going on with him? He hadn't felt like this since his academy days and spent too long in the lab. At the same time, it was worse and he felt really dizzy.
"Tyler, Burnham, and Stamets, report to the briefing room in five minutes. I want a full report on what just happened."
"Understood. We're on our way." Michael closed the link and looked at him.
Paul steadied himself once more before releasing the console. The temperature in the room felt like it had gone up a few degrees and small beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He'd lost track after counting fifty-three loops. There must've been more. He remembered all of them, though they blurred together some.
"Are you alright, Lieutenant?" Burnham asked, taking a step closer to him.
"I'm fine. Let's get this briefing over with." Paul took a step forward and his knee gave out on him.
"Woah!" Tyler grabbed his arm, steading him as he wavered. "You sure you're okay? You don't look alright."
"Yes, I'm fine. We need to report to the briefing room before the Captain becomes irritated with us." Tightness in his chest almost cut off his words. He forced himself to take an even breath.
"Burnham to Doctor Culber," Michael hailed.
"Wait, don't –"
"Culber here, what can I do for you?"
Hugh's voice interrupted Paul's protest and he stopped talking immediately. He didn't want Hugh to hear him because he'd know right away that something wasn't right and he'd worry.
"Are you available to meet in the briefing room in three minutes? I would like to discuss the effects of a temporal loop on the crew's health. I'll inform Captain Lorca you'll be joining us."
"I'll be there. Culber out."
Burnham gave Paul a stern look when the link closed. "He'll meet us there. If there's nothing wrong, we will simply discuss the temporal loop side effects. If not, we won't need to call him. Due to the current condition and situation you are in, it is my opinion that it won't hurt to have Doctor Culber present."
Paul nodded. There was no sense in arguing with Burnham when she had her mind made up and he honestly didn't have the strength to try. Tyler slowly released his arm, hovering in case he started to fall again. Paul straightened his uniform top and walked to the door, triggering it to open.
Paul kept quiet as the other two walked behind him. Everything spun in his head. He vaguely realized he couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything. Before the loops began, he and Hugh were going to get dinner. He also couldn't remember sitting down and resting. So much time had passed and yet, it hadn't. Only for him. Paul glanced back at Tyler and Burnham as they walked. Tyler looked her up and down as if checking for injuries while she was focused on saying something, but wasn't looking directly at him. It was sweet.
Hugh was waiting for them outside the briefing room. Paul vaguely wondered if Burnham had let the Captain know the doctor was coming. He pushed the thought aside and smiled. Wrinkles marred Hugh's face as he looked at him. Paul immediately hugged him, fighting to keep his balance. He put his hand on the back of Hugh's head, pulling him closer and breathing in his unique scent. The comforting touch eased a little of the tension in his muscles.
"Are you alright?" Hugh pulled back so he could see him.
"I'm okay, dear doctor. Are you?"
"Of course. I'm a bit confused, but I'm hoping this will all make sense soon."
Paul shrugged, letting his arms fall. "It will. As days go, this one was a bit more complicated."
Tyler opened the door to the briefing room. The four of them stepped into the dimly lit room.
Captain Lorca stood at the window, looking out at the stars. He turned at the sound of their entrance. "Thank you for joining us, Doctor Culber. Have a seat and let's discuss what the hell just happened. Start from the beginning, Lieutenant Stamets."
Paul sat down next to Tyler. Burnham and Hugh sat across from them. As soon as Paul sat down, the tightness melted out of his muscles. He bit his lip to keep from groaning. That felt better. All of the running around the ship he'd done, it had made him so sore. He started telling what happened with Mudd and the temporal loops. The longer it took, the more his sore throat irritated him. He coughed, clearing his throat. Lorca asked him a question, which Burnham answered and it gave him a moment to rest.
"Here's some water," Hugh whispered, setting a cup down in front of him.
Paul didn't even realize he'd stood up from the table. Everything was feeling foggy. He smiled at Hugh and pulled the glass closer. He started to lift it, but it felt so heavy. Hugh didn't leave. Paul watched as his hand shook as he lifted the cup and took a sip of water. The cool water did wonders on his sore throat. He finished the water and pushed it in front of him.
"Understood," Lorca said to Burnham. "Continue Lieutenant."
Paul watched as Hugh returned to his seat, but his gaze didn't wander. He knew he suspected something was wrong. Burnham interrupted to add something about the last loop. It was almost over. Paul finished talking and summed up what happened. He really needed to lie down. His head pounded.
Captain Lorca nodded and seemed to process the entire story for a moment before speaking. "Good. Is there any negative effects of a temporal loop on the crew, Doctor Culber?"
Hugh leaned forward. "Not that I can see right away. Some of the crew might experience some déjà vu or confusion, but they should be okay. I can keep you posted on any developments."
"Good. Dismissed."
Tyler and Burnham stood up as Captain Lorca headed to the door of the briefing room. It seemed as if everything moved in slow motion. Paul placed both hands on the table to steady himself as he stood up. Hugh moved quickly and Paul couldn't figure out why until he realized he wasn't standing, but was falling to the ground. Two strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him up, but it wasn't Hugh. Tyler held him up.
"Paul!"
"Paul!" Doctor Hugh Culber called out, moving to his partner's side. He'd seen Paul start to fall, but he couldn't make it there in time. He was incredibly grateful that Tyler moved quickly and managed to grab Paul before he fell and injured himself more. He'd known there was something wrong when Burnham asked him to join the debriefing, but he hoped she was wrong.
Hugh took Paul from Tyler's arms, helping support his body weight. It surprised him when Paul didn't try to stand again, but simply let himself be held in front of his superiors. From the beginning in their relationship, Paul was private and didn't like to show affection or weakness in front of others. This definitely increased Hugh's worry. The Captain and Burnham lingered close by. It wasn't necessary, but it was kind.
"I'm fine… I'm just tired." Paul rested his head against Hugh's chest and closed his eyes.
Hugh moved his hand so he could feel Paul's pulse on his wrist. His heart raced beneath his touch. "You're not fine."
"Yes, dear doctor. I'm okay. But I might need some help."
Tyler and Hugh helped him back into the chair. Burnham brought Hugh the emergency med kit from the wall and he silently thanked whoever decided it was necessary to place an emergency med kit in important areas of the ship. Hugh immediately took out the tricorder and it started whirling, processing the bio readings quickly.
"What's wrong with him?" Captain Lorca asked.
Hugh looked at the scans as Paul fought to breath evenly. Tachycardia – pulse 120, blood pressure – 82/54, and his blood sugar was low. "He's exhausted. Due to the effects of the tardigrade DNA, it kept his mind able to function within the loops, but his body experienced all of the time passage. He's mildly dehydrated and well beyond exhaustion."
Lorca let out the breath he'd been holding. "Lieutenant Stamets, you're relieved of duty for at least twelve hours. Unless there's an emergency, you are ordered to get some rest. Good job." He squeezed Paul's shoulder and quickly let go.
"Thank you… Captain." Paul barely kept his eyes open.
The Captain nodded and headed back to the bridge.
"You should've told me you were exhausted." Hugh touched the side of Paul's face.
Paul turned into his touch and put his hand on top of Hugh's. "I'm sorry."
"Do you want some assistance getting him to your quarters?" Tyler asked, causing Hugh to remember Burnham and Tyler were still there.
Paul weakly shook his head. Hugh grinned at the stubborn man he loved, knowing how much he liked his privacy. Despite the effect of the spores and his openness, being carried through the ship, wasn't something Paul wanted.
"I think we can manage, but thank you, Lieutenant Tyler."
"Please let me know if there's anything we can do for you. You saved the ship and we owe you," Burnham added.
Paul nodded. "Will do. Thanks."
The two left the briefing room, leaving Paul and Hugh in comfortable silence. Paul's eyes drooped and he fought to keep them open. Hugh kissed his forehead, causing his lover to laugh once. It helped to keep him awake until he get Paul to their quarters.
"That feels nice," Paul whispered.
"Good. Do you think you can walk?"
There was a long pause before he shook his head. It would've been surprising if he found the energy to stand again, let alone walk across part of the ship.
Hugh put a hand on his shoulder as Paul started to lean forward too far and closed his eyes. "Paul. Hey, you have to stay awake. It's okay. Computer, two to transport to crew quarters 219."
"Affirmative."
The transport beam picked them up and deposited them in their quarters. Paul sat on the edge of the bed, about to fall off and not even wake up. Hugh reached for his tricorder on the bedside table, and scanned him as Paul sat up a little straighter and blinked several times as if trying to clear the fog from his vision. His pulse had gone down slightly, but not enough to make Hugh relax.
"Stop doctoring. I'm alright. I'm just really tired." Even his voice sounded exhausted now. "Hugh."
"Okay. But you need fluids and rest."
Paul tried to turn and lay down, but he couldn't move. Hugh knelt down and pulled off Paul's boots and socks. Paul hated sleeping in socks. He tried to help, but only succeeded in almost slipping off the bed. Hugh managed to stabilize him. He lifted his legs and helped Paul lay down on the bed. Paul grabbed his pillow and snuggled it.
Hugh laughed at him. "You can't sleep like that."
All he could see was light blond hair moving as Paul tried to become one with the pillow. He said something, but it was too muffled.
The doctor put his hand on Paul's hips and turned him so he could reach the clasp and zipper. He didn't move as Hugh started to pull at the uniform material. It took a minute before he could maneuver him enough to remove his pants and leave Paul in his boxers. His love wasn't exactly helpful anymore. Paul's eyes were open, but only a little. He gave a goofy smile as Hugh unzipped his uniform jacket and slipped it off. Paul tried to put his arms around Hugh's neck, but they fell back to the bed. He laughed. It definitely wasn't the time, but it was cute he was being silly. The exhaustion was getting to him.
"I love you," Hugh whispered, feeling overcome with affection for his partner.
"I love you too," came the soft reply.
"But because I love you, you need to drink some more water before you fall asleep. Your heartrate is going down, but you're still dehydrated."
"My head hurts," Paul groaned, closing his eyes and putting a hand on his forehead. The romantic moment disappeared as Paul turned away from him a little.
"Okay. Severe exhaustion will do that to you. I'm going to get some water. Just wait, my love." Hugh kissed his forehead. He wasn't completely surprised about the headache. Paul had been running on less than five hours of sleep for weeks and after the initial tardigrade injection, his body was overworked and his mind stressed.
Paul pushed up on his arms with the little strength he had left and propped himself up on his pillows so he wasn't flat on his back. He grabbed Hugh's pillow and wrapped his arms around it. Hugh stepped into the bathroom. He returned with a glass of water and a hypospray from his med kit with a mild analgesic. Despite the emotional changes, Paul still had trouble balancing his health without a few promptings. Hugh never minded taking care of him, but it didn't keep him from worrying when he knew Paul wasn't feeling well and that he wasn't always honest about his condition. At least the tricorder couldn't lie.
"Let me help you," Hugh said as Paul reached for the cup, but couldn't lift his hands more than a few inches off the blanket. "That's what I'm here for."
Paul didn't let go of the pillow as Hugh held the cup to his lips. Paul sipped the water. He breathed wrong and started coughing. Hugh quickly set the cup down on the nightstand and reached around Paul to help him sit up further. The coughing must have irritated his throat as he fought to catch his breath. Paul leaned forward and buried his face in Hugh's chest. It took a few minutes for the coughs to subside as Hugh rubbed his back.
Hugh grabbed the hypospray and adjusted the dose before gently pressing it to Paul's neck. "It's just a mild pain reliever to help with the headache and to help you sleep better."
"Okay."
There wasn't much more Paul could say. Hugh helped him lie down on his side and covered him with the blanket. He leaned over and gently pressed his lips to Paul's forehead, lingering as he felt Paul's warm breath on his neck. God, he loved an incredible man.
"Computer, lights to twenty-five percent." Hugh walked over to his desk and sat down to fill out some paperwork. He considered having a nurse bring him some intravenous fluids to give Paul while he slept. Instead, in the dim light, he watched Paul's chest rise and fall in an even rhythm. It hitched every once in a while as Paul coughed. After a little while, Hugh turned his attention to his PADD and started working.
About ten minutes later, he heard a soft sound from the bed.
"I can't sleep… without you."
Hugh grinned and turned around. Paul's blue eyes were barely visible in the dim light, but he was awake. "You're supposed to be resting."
"I can't sleep without you," Paul repeated. "Please."
Hugh turned off his screen and headed over to the bed. He stripped off his uniform jacket and pants, getting a small laugh from Paul. He watched as Paul shivered once. Hugh grabbed the extra blanket from the back of the desk chair and covered him with it. Paul loved to snuggle. He was always cold when he slept. Hugh climbed into bed and covered himself with the blanket. As soon as he lay down, Paul moved closer to him like a magnet. He curled up against Hugh's chest and let out a soft sigh. Hugh ran his fingers through Paul's hair, not realizing how much he needed the physical contact to help him relax.
Paul's breathing slowed. "I was right."
"You're not always right. But this time you were. Don't scare me like that again. I was worried about you." Hugh felt Paul shift even closer to him.
"Sorry. Love you."
"I love you too, dear." Hugh kissed Paul's forehead one more time before closing his eyes and listening to the sound of Paul's breathing. He drifted to sleep, hoping that Paul would feel better tomorrow and that things would get better. He wanted to protect Paul, more than anything.
FIN.
Thanks for reading! :)
Emma