Disclaimer:
I do not own Durarara!
Author's Note
First fan fiction! (Woohoo!) I guess you could say that I don't really know what I'm doing.
Anyways with it being my first, it will most likely have many mistakes. Reviews would be greatly appreciated! Enjoy!
No Longer in Control
Chapter 1
The pain was overwhelming, even for the god-like creature he considered himself to be. Izaya wasn't the type to go ask for help, but the pounding in his aching head tempted him to pick up the phone and call Shinra. He didn't know where his cellphone was anyways, and really didn't care.
He closed his eyes, leaning back on his couch, tired of watching the room dance in duets around him. Although his splitting migraine seemed like the issue, it really was only a symptom of the insanity he drove himself to. He couldn't even remember when he finally crossed the line from sadistic genius to mentally unstable. Mentally unstable- ha, he was starting to sound like Shinra.
Despite the pain, Izaya chuckled to himself. Izaya had barely left his apartment since his "sickness" had overpowered him however long ago. He only left to do the occasional job, as he knew his clients would not be sympathetic enough to let him take time off. Even being the informant he was, Izaya wasn't sure what it was he had. Dysthymia ? Depression in general? He frowned to the ceiling, his thoughts stumbling over themselves trying to come up with a diagnosis.
It started off as mere depression; which at the time was shocking enough for him. He was always the one laughing at his petty humans for wanting to cut their own lives short, but then he, the great Izaya Orihara, was considering suicide? He found it pathetic. But now, this disease, or whatever the fuck it was, had gotten worse. Much worse. His body would hurt with cuts and bruises that he couldn't find. Izaya would search desperately over his thin, pale body for any imperfections, but there were no injuries besides his scars from past fights with Shizuo Heiwajima. Even his deepest scars didn't cause nearly as much pain as he was in now, and for once in his twenty-three years of life Izaya Orihara was scared.
Getting frustrated with where his mind was leading him he sat up. He held the arm of the couch for support as he stood, trying to ignore that the television was spinning in his vision. He stumbled to his computer and checked the chat log. No one was on. He growled to the computer screen, as he retrieved his furry coat. Izaya was tired of staying inside his apartment alone. He had sent Namie on a paid vacation long ago, not wanting her to see him when he was weak. Izaya needed to get out, maybe stroll around Ikebukuro and pass some time there. If he was lucky Shizuo wouldn't be out today, but since he hasn't been very lucky lately he just hoped that he would be sneaky enough to not catch the attention of the blonde-haired brute.
The brisk November wind bit into Izaya's exposed skin and caused him to shiver. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his signature, fur-lined coat and started walking towards Ikebukuro. As he walked through the bustling city he searched through the crowds of people, making sure he wouldn't have an encounter with the frighteningly-strong blonde. It's not that Izaya was afraid of Shizuo, he just wasn't sure if he would be able to escape unharmed given his condition.
"Yo! Izaya!" Izaya turned to find the unusual group of Kadota, Saburo, Erika, and Walker approaching him.
"Hello, Dotachin"
"Haven't seen you around much, everything alright?" Kadota raised an eyebrow at Izaya as he said this, and Izaya tried to ignore his pounding headache, and mask his pain with a grin.
"Everything is fine, Dotachin." Izaya continued to grin, then hesitated. "I've just been busy. Now remind me, how long has it been?" Izaya tried to sound as casual as possible, but Erika and Walker still exchanged confused glances.
"About two months now, I think," Kadota answered. His eyes now questioned him, but he said nothing else. Izaya nodded, he didn't think it had been that long. Kadota suddenly became serious, "Do you want to talk?" Kadota jerked his thumb behind him towards Russia Sushi, indicating that he would prefer that to be the place where they would discuss. Izaya broke out laughing, causing Erika, Walker, and Saburo to jump back in surprise. Surely Kadota would know better than to think Izaya would actually talk to him about his feelings. Finally Izaya suppressed his laughter to a few chuckles.
"No, Dotachin, I would not like to 'talk'. But thank you for your offer." Izaya spat out the word "talk" as though it tasted foul in his mouth. His headache was making him irritable, and he wants to keep his composure, for losing control of his temper would be too human. He waved goodbye to the unusual group, turned on his heels, and leisurely, but swiftly, continued his walk.