A/N: First Buffy fic. Meant to be humourous. More to come, maybe.
Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS or any of the characters.
Obsession
"I refuse to believe it! That's defamation of character!" Spike shouted, enraged.
"You stole pictures of her from her house." Xander reminded him.
"So? I get bored in that crypt. As a hobby I make scrapbooks of my worst enemies." The vampire protested.
"You stand outside her house at night, chain-smoking as you gaze longingly up at her bedroom window." Willow pointed out.
"I'm just making sure that no big bads try to kill her in her sleep before I get my chance at slaughtering her!" He argued.
"You sniffed her fuzzy pink sweater religiously." Anya accused.
"For tracking! And how dare you call me religious, you half-wit ex-demon!"
"You stole her underwear!" Tara proclaimed.
"I needed a new slingshot! That bint Harmony broke mine!"
"And not only are you a stalker and a kleptomaniac, but you're just plain weird." Willow added.
"Oh yeah? Prove it, pet." Spike challenged, staring her down.
"You took a broken mannequin from the junkyard, reassembled it, put a blonde wig on it, and referred to it as 'The Slayer' while having long winded practice conversations with it."
"How in the bloody hell did you know that?" Spike demanding, turning his narrowed gaze upon the tweed covered man behind him.
"I'm a watcher," Giles stated, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Knowing random things is sort of my job."
Spike thought this over, eventually nodding along with the scoobies in acceptance.