One Piece Story

"If you're wrong, and I'm wrong… then that must mean I'm right, since we can't both be wrong… and you're too stupid to be right."

It was in the early hours of the morning, and Luffy was the first one awake. Usopp had recently joined the crew, and he'd gotten to know him well. He was waiting for him to wake up so they could talk some more. He liked to hear his tall tales.

His dark brown eyes scanned the room where he, Usopp, and Zoro slept. Zoro was sleeping soundly, as usual. Luffy didn't understand how he could sleep so much in one day.

He heard a rustling, and looked over to Usopp.

"Morning." Usopp yawned.

"Morning Usopp." Luffy blinked blearily. Usopp stretched out, and stood up. Luffy rose too.

"Wanna hear a tale about "The Great Captain Usopp-sama?"", Usopp asked with a grin.

"Damn right I do!" Luffy laughed.

"Shut up, or I'll kick your asses." Zoro grumbled angrily. "I'm trying to sleep!"

"Ah!" Luffy cried, running up on deck, laughing. Usopp quickly followed. Luffy had leapt up onto the figurehead and sat facing the deck on the ram head.

"I love this ship! I declare this my seat." Luffy said solemnly. Usopp sat in front of him on the deck.

"So, where was I?" Usopp pondered.

"The Great Captain Usopp-sama." Luffy prompted.

"Right. So, here I was, whacking my way through a jungle, when, out of nowhere, a TIGER pounced out in front of me!" Usopp said importantly.

"Whoa, sugee!" Luffy gasped. "What did you do?"

"I'll tell you what I did! I yelled at that tiger, 'You'd better get lost, if you know what's best for you, Tiger-san!'."

"And then!?"

"And then, the tiger was so frightened, it squeaked, 'Nya!' like a baby kitten and scrambled away as fast as it could." Usopp shouted.

"Wow!" Luffy exclaimed.

Nami, rubbing her eyes, came out from her room.

"What the heck is going on out here? You guys woke me up." Nami frowned.

"Ah, sorry, Nami." Usopp apologized, dipping his head.

"Yeah, sorry!" Luffy echoed.

"Whatever, well, I'm up now." Nami sighed. She returned to her room, and came out holding her maps, a compass, and a pen. She sat down at the small table out on deck.

"And then, The "Great Captain Usopp-sama" met the wild men that inhabited the isle~"

"Ne, Captain. Where to next?" Nami called. Usopp frowned.

"Uhm… Somewhere we can go shopping." Luffy said.

"Wow, Luffy, that's actually a good idea." Nami said, surprised.

"Because we need MEAT!" Luffy declared. Nami sighed again.

"Never mind. Oh, there's a city near by here we can go to." Nami said. "Seaport (SHII POUTO) City."

"Sounds fine. When'll we get there?" Luffy asked impatiently.

"Probably this afternoon." Nami shrugged. "Unless the wind changes." Luffy made a face.

"Too slowwww." He complained.

One of the doors swung open, and Zoro appeared on deck, yawning and stretching.

"It's alive." Nami commented sarcastically.

"Shut up." He frowned at her.

"Someone's touchy." Nami frowned right back.

"Someone still hasn't forgiven you for shoving him down an oil slick." Zoro muttered.

"I already apologized!" Nami said. "What more do you want?"

"For you go to hell."

"Already there, Zoro. I've reserved my room." Nami winked.

"Meh." He went into the kitchen, and came out with a bottle of saké. They sat in silence for a moment, vaguely listening to Usopp's wanton rambling, and Luffy's cries of 'Sugee! Then what?!'.

"Where're we headed to?" Zoro asked her, obviously bored.

"Some place called Seaport City." Nami said, amused that he was talking to her again so quickly.

"A specific destination?"

"I chose it because it's close, and we need to get supplies~"

"AND MEAT!"

"Yes, Luffy, and meat." Nami sighed. Zoro snorted.

"When'll we get there?" He asked.

"Probably this afternoon, unless the wind picks up." Nami explained, annoyed at having to repeat herself.

"Ah." He turned around, finished with that conversation.

He yawned, and went to sit next to Usopp.

"Morning, Zoro." Usopp said cheerfully.

"Morning." Zoro yawned again.

"Hey Zoro! Usopp was telling a story!" Luffy grinned childishly.

"That's nice." Zoro answered, not really interested.

"Usopp, you met those wild men! Then what happened?!" Luffy exclaimed. Usopp cleared his throat, and continued his tale.

"Then, a man wearing a lion's pelt and a large feather headdress approached me. He appeared to be their chief. And then, after much failed attempts at conversation, I followed them to their village."

"Kakkoi! A village of savages!" Luffy said, stars in his eyes.

Zoro sighed. This would be a long morning.

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A few hours had passed, and Zoro had heard about six or so of "The Great Captain Usopp-sama" stories until he finally fell asleep. 'Thank goodness for sleep', was his last conscious thought.

Luffy glanced over at Zoro. Sound asleep.

"Oi, Usopp!" Luffy whispered.

"Hm? What?"

"Zoro's asleep."

"Thank you, Captain of the Obvious. I had no idea." Usopp rolled his eyes.

"You got any paint?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah, but why would you want to…? OH!" Usopp gasped, and Luffy clamped his hand over his mouth.

"Shut up, you're too noisy!" Luffy whispered rather loudly.

"Baka! You're noisier than me!" Usopp hissed as he ran to get his paints.

Usopp had brought his bag, and took out a paintbrush and black paint.

"Moustache?" Usopp asked. Luffy shook his head.

"Thick brows?" He guessed again. Luffy shook his head again.

"Panda?" Usopp cautiously guessed. Luffy's brows shot up.

"Yes!" He laughed gleefully. "Gimme the brush!"

Usopp shook his head. "You paint like crap!" He reminded him.

"Fine. You do it!" Luffy sighed, exasperated.

Usopp quickly and artfully applied the black paint around Zoro's closed eyes, and painted his nose with a triangular shape.

"Done." Usopp declared. Luffy clapped his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

"He looks just like a panda!" Luffy hooted, as quietly as he could manage.

Usopp gathered his stuff and put it in his bag, as he and Luffy quickly ran over to the other side of the ship.

Nami looked up from her magazine to see what their giggling was about. Her eyes inspected the deck, until they rested on Zoro. She burst out laughing. Zoro stirred.

"Hn? What're you laughing at?" He squinted at her.

"Nothing." She said. "Panda-chan" She giggled under her breath.

She checked her map, the compass, the sun, then the skyline.

"We should be there soon. Half an hour at the most." She said.

"Good." Zoro replied. "If I have to hear another "Captain Usopp" story, I'm going to stab something. Preferably alive."

Nami snickered.

"What?"

"I can't take you seriously when you look like that! Go look in the mirror!" She cried, almost screaming with laughter. Zoro blinked, and walked to the small bathroom they had on board.

"DAMMIT LUFFY! USOPP!" Zoro yelled. "I'M GOING TO KILL BOTH OF YOU!"

The boys gasped in horror.

"RUN!" They both screamed.

Zoro unsheathed out his swords and darted after them, shouting obscenities and profanity.

"YOU GET BACK HERE, YOU IMMATURE BASTARDS!"

"Guys! I see the island!" Nami called. She pointed out to the skyline. A long lump of green contoured along the cobalt skies.

"All right! Now we can EAT!" Luffy crowed. All they had eaten before were sandwiches that Nami made.

"Luffy, is that all you think about?" Nami sighed.

"Well, it would be cool if we found a musician too." Luffy pondered.

"We don't need a musician!" Zoro said. "We need someone who can cook."

"What's wrong with my food!" Nami snapped.

"The fact that you make us pay for our meals. And they're crappy anyway!" Zoro said.

"WHAT?!" Nami raised her arm to hit him. Usopp grabbed her arm.

"Wh-what Zoro means, is, that we can't live off of sandwiches." Usopp said nervously.

"No, what Zoro means is, that woman can't cook shit." Zoro grumbled. Usopp glanced over to Zoro and back to Nami. He smiled weakly at Nami, and sweat-dropped.

"Zoro. Someday your inability to keep quiet will get the both of us killed, I just know it."

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