I saw a headcanon on a blog that Reese (inadvertently) told Francis about his crush on Malcolm and decided to go with it. I had been meaning to publish this for a while, so here you go.


You know, Francis hadn't visited his family in a while. A really LONG while. So maybe that's why everything seemed so... strange... and different now.

Sure, his mother was still an evil, overbearing monster, and his dad still worshipped the very ground she stood on, and Dewey was still... Dewey, but something was very... off about them now. Specifically Reese.

Anybody who had talked to Reese for longer than five minutes knew he was an idiot, and also very fond of punching. Whenever Francis had been around him, Reese would simply not take shit from either of his younger brothers.

Except... now, apparently.

Francis had been counting these really weird occurrences, strange things that would happen that he wasn't sure if anybody else around him noticed. If he didn't know any better, he would have been convinced Reese was abducted by aliens.

The first time, for example, he was on the couch with Malcolm and Reese, the latter two arguing about what to watch on TV. Malcolm wanted to watch some insanely boring science thing, and Reese wanted to watch wrestling.

And normally, Reese would have rather beaten Malcolm to a pulp than watch anything educational, probably enjoying it too.

But instead, the argument didn't even last very long. Malcolm had asked, almost whined, "Please".

And Reese gave up. Just like that.

Malcolm had smiled at him, saying, "Thanks, Reese", before switching to his agonizingly boring show. Reese couldn't even look him in the eye after that.

Francis had given them a look before leaving the room. He wondered what the hell all that was about, but decided to write it off as a one-time fluke and went about his evening as normal.

Until the SECOND time it happened.

They were all eating dinner, which was something delicious Reese had made to celebrate Francis's visit, hamburgers. Except it was Reese, so they were somehow gourmet and very, very good.

As always in the Wilkerson house, it had come down to who got the last one.

And both Malcolm and Reese wanted it.

They both reached for the last burger at the same time, hovering over it while waiting for what the other would do. Francis expected his mom to start yelling at them or something, knowing how this would end anytime before this visit, but she did nothing.

Neither did they, actually. Malcolm had simply looked at Reese again, and Reese sighed, letting him have it.

And again, Malcolm had smiled at him and said "Thanks", and that was that.

He was sort of starting to get uncomfortable.

But, he thought, there was no way this could happen AGAIN. Malcolm was probably just holding something over Reese's head, and this would end soon when Reese inevitably got fed up of being civil and nice.

And then it happened AGAIN.

At this point, Francis was too tired to record the exact details of these circumstances, and they all kinda blended together when they happened over and over and OVER again. By this time, Malcolm had even stopped saying please and would give Reese a small, pleading smile, and Reese would buy it anyway. Normally, Francis would think that Malcolm had some serious leverage over Reese, but even the normal Reese would have given up by this point.

So Francis decided to finally ask about it.

"Dude, why are you letting him get away with all of this? Aren't you going to punch him? Like you do everything else?"

Reese furrowed his eyebrows, deep in whatever the Reese equivalent for thinking was. Francis could almost hear the gears turning in his brain. "He's just so cute, you know? That's something I realized lately. Every time he does something, and I wanna kick the crap out of him, he smiles at me, and all I can think about is how cute that dumb smile is. And then I just... can't hit him. Even though he deserves it." He shook his head in frustration. "I hate that he's so cute... do you feel me?"

...Wait, CUTE?

"NO, Reese, I do not 'feel' you." He sputtered, shocked. "CUTE? What the hell are you talking about?"

Was this some kind of elaborate, complex joke he was- no, Reese would never do anything complex, nor would he be able to pull this off. He sounded legitimately sincere, which was all the more concerning. Had, in the few months he had not seen any of them, the world ended? Was he in the Twilight Zone or something?

But Reese had ignored him, and walked off, leaving Francis with even more questions. Reese thought Malcolm was cute? Did he think this was normal or something? Did he have... feelings for Malcolm?

Something was not very right at all in the Wilkerson house, and, frankly, Francis wasn't sure he wanted to know about it.