Runescape Runaround

Scales and Fuzzballs

I said I was a master poker player. I didn't say I was a master cheater. After several days of playing poker, fate finally caught up with me. I discreetly slipped a card from my sleeve and triumphantly laid down four aces.

"I'm the champion!" Delrith grabbed me up and laid down his cards revealing he had the ace of clubs. "I'm so screwed." With the aid of the wizards I was expelled from the circle by Delrith's might and a few spells from the wizards. I'll never be sure, but I think I broke the sound barrier.

When I awoke in the crater I had made upon landing I found I was in the wild and had attracted the attention of several red dragons. Screaming I ran for the iron gate I saw. I slammed the gate in the dragons' faces. I breathed a sigh of relief. Before I could collect myself and contemplate my situation, turning around I came face to face with a clan of killers.

"Hello chum!" The leader said.

What could I do? I kicked the guy in the nuts and took off running screaming I ran for the Varrock Lumber mill, ripping off armor and throwing it over my shoulders. My shield and battle axe I dropped when I nailed the clan leader. I dove across the finish line and laid there panting. I finally realized I had not only ripped off my armor but my clothes as well. So there I lay, naked as a jaybird.

Wait, I hear something. Sounds like mewing coming from the lumber mill. Ok, investigate first, clothes second. Firebabe must've been out of communications range. None of my messages were getting through for some reason.

"Mew!"

I followed the sound to a crate in the mill.

"Me- Aw, screw it! Nobody's doing that quest any-aaaaah!"

"Aaaaaaaaah!" We both screamed when I opened the crate revealing a black kitten.

"Holy crp, a talking kitten!"

"Holy mackerel, a talking human!"

"Ok, Zurtok, get a grip. You're one step from the loony bin." The kitten was muttering the same things. "Dragons, kittens ffs where am I?"

"Ok, let's chill for a second." The kitten said. I accessed my Runehq device. "What y'all doing?"

"Shush a second. Display all relevant information pertaining to the red dragon. Let's see level 152, 145 HP, 773 XP, members only?!" I fainted.

"Trust me to get a faint hearted owner." The kitten twisted my nipples.

"Aaaahh! For the love, I'm up!"

"There we go. Something tells me you are not from around here."

"I'm just a citizen not a member. Member worlds are too dangerous. Delrith!"

"Beg pardon? Nvm, nvm. It's not important at the present. So what's your name?"

"You really are a stranger here. I don't have one; you have to give me one."

"So, you're mine now? Thanks for the purple nerples. You're strong for such a little giblet."

"Giblet, I like that. You can call me Giblet."

"Call me Z. Which brings up the next point; how the hell can I understand you?"

"I'd worry about getting clothes. Here comes a nice prospect."

A noob dressed in full bronze approached the mill. I ambushed him and snapped his neck. He was miraculously carrying an extra set of bronze legs. The feel of cold bronze on my personal region gave me a charge to say the least. Giblet followed me to Theresa's Clothing store. I slipped in and upstairs without being noticed. Once upstairs I put my crafting skill to work making a suit. Three hours later, I was fully clothed again.

Just as I was checking myself in the mirror when Theresa happened to some upstairs. Giblet ran screeching and I was thrown out the window. The strength of that woman is shocking. I ran to the bank and changed into my shade armor.

"Hey Z, up here!" Looking skyward I saw Giblet on the roof of the bank.

"Come down from there! Not that way!" Crash! There I was lying on the ground in front of the bank Giblet on top of me. "Giblet, I meant for you to use the drain pipe."

"Sorry, boss. Now as to why you can understand me, who cares."

"I knew from the moment I saw you you'd be helpful like that."

"I can show you a great fishing spot, grab a lobster cage and follow me."

Many people stared at the man being led by his kitten. I was pleased by the fact that many people were annoyed by me talking to my kitten. I was led by Giblet all the way to Falador and the gate in the wall by the city.

"This way."

Giblet slipped through the gate. "There is no way I can open that gate. God knows I've tried."

"Quit stalling and come on." I reluctantly tried the gate. The dam thing actually opened.

"What is this place?"

"This is the druid village, people who worship nature and dabble in the art of herblore. Oh, drat, you'll need a weapon."

"Aw hell, whatever's between here and where were going I can handle bare-handed."

"Be my guest." Giblet sat in the grass and pointed towards the mountains. I scoffed and headed into them. My screams were heard all the way to Falador I'm sure. I fell in the grass in front of Giblet. "Wolf pack and ice warriors: I tried to warn you." I was too out of breath to tell him to sod off. "Are you ready to get a weapon now, or you try climbing down the small cliff just over there." I was off like a shot. "But I wouldn't go that way if I were you."