30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:
Summary: When you leave a list, Naruto, and everybody else together, you get a crap load of stories to tell to your cute, innocent grandchildren. Just for kicks, with unrealistically humor (crack). High School AU
Chapter 1: What a pleasant idea!
Uzumaki Naruto, the kid with the blazing blonde hair and whisker marks on his cheeks, threw his 18 scored test against his desk. He just couldn't catch a break! One night, you innocently stay up to eat ramen and watch Jersey Shore on MTV, and then this occurs. Naruto grumbled under his breath and pounded his cheek against his palm, giving a childish pout.
"Again? It's what you deserve for not studying, baka!" A pretty girl with rose pink hair scowled her sea green eyes.
Naruto pouted even more and whined to his dream girl, "But Sakura-chan! I always get an 18 or less! Kakashi-sensei is just out to get me."
Uchiha Sasuke, a ravishing handsome boy with deep coal black eyes, grunted a smirk earning a glare from the depressed boy.
"You're hopeless."
"Shut up! I'll do better ya hoe! Bet on my Dattebayo-ness!"
Hyuga Neji watched curiously as his seat mate read thoroughly her test score.
"A 96. Not bad…not bad. And I don't remember studying!" Tenten looked up and peered over his shoulder excitedly, "What did you get Neji?"
The older boy with moony eyes and long, dark chocolaty brown hair glanced at his paper and shrugged. "102. For the bonuses'."
The girl's lips puckered a pout and she whistled. Her dark, flaked hazel eyes blinked. "That's impressive; as expected of the Hyuga's pride."
"Hn."
"I got a 99! By the power of youth I youthfully did better than my last unyouthful test score!" Rock Lee ran over to their desks and grinned proudly, wiggling his thick, enormous eyebrows, "What did you get youthful Neji? Did I youthfully beat you?"
"He got a 102."
"…102 of youth?"
"Hn."
"With the bonuses!"
"Oh youth! My wonderful mentor of youth, Gai-sensei, will scold me! I shall youthfully do better than you at next test of youth, my eternal youthful rival!"
"…Hn."
"I am being youthfully serious!"
Tenten stuffed a piece of dango in her mouth before dodging just in time to avoid a bump with a running Naruto in the busy school hall. Her forest green uniform skirt swished breezily.
"Wow, that was close! Hey Tenten," Naruto grinned and slowed.
She smiled. "Hi Naruto. How'd you do for midterms?" she asked after she finished chewing.
His face fell. "I got an 18."
Tenten almost choked on her beloved snack. "Oh," she almost pitied him and patted him on the shoulder, "well, you should study next time."
He nodded glumly, "Yeah, yeah," then his spirit lifted, "Wait! Here," he slipped her two folded sheets of paper.
"What is it?" Tenten flipped them open but was stopped by a hand.
"Not here! In your room; you're the only person I can think of to give this to right now. Tell me what you think tomorrow, 'kay?"
Tenten looked more confused but she slowly nodded and stuffed it into her pocket. "Uh, hai then… If it's something weird or gross, I'll kill you."
"It's not! I swear. I think of it…endearing." He grinned and looked at her thoughtfully.
"Endearing? Since when did you learn that word?"
"Oi! Now, I hafta go! Bye!"
Tenten waved before eating another piece of dango. She watched his retreating figure and the sudden burst of curiosity led her to run back to her dorm room to read it.
What could it be?
"This is genius, Naruto!" Tenten burst through the cafeteria doors the next day, completely ignoring the ogling students.
Naruto was startled for a moment but then shined a great, big grin. "You like it?"
She slid in the seat across from him, not noticing the stares from his homeroom classmates sitting at the table also.
"Yes, this is completely great. Konoha has been so freaking dull, and this," she held up the papers to his view, "this will change that! Hehe, I'm so excited!"
Lee and Neji came to Naruto's table wondering what Tenten was talking about. They slid in next to her and she grinned at them.
"Can I show this to them Naruto?"
The blonde boy looked at Lee and his bushy eyebrows, then at Neji's blank face. Maybe Bushybrows would be excited about the idea, but Neji? He didn't want anybody to stop him.
He glanced at Sakura and Sasuke, who were staring at him with interested eyes. Uh oh, Sakura might also stop him. And Sasuke might revolt or kill someone. No, not yet, only when the idea is in effect.
Aw man! Maybe he should have given the papers to Tenten at Ichiraku's or something…
"Well ah…" he looked around at everybody's curious stares. "It's just…a…" he twiddled his fingers sheepishly.
Tenten caught his uncomfortable expression. Crap, maybe she shouldn't have blurted it.
"What is it, Naruto?" Sakura urged.
"It's just a blueprint for…a possible amusement park here in Konoha." Tenten cut in and lied, "Yeah! It's a surprise and Tsunade-sama gave it to Naruto…'cause…"
"'C-cause Granny Tsunade is giving me pointers for being a Hokage! …So…blueprints for an amusement park is really important!" Naruto went along suddenly.
The others blinked. "An amusement park? Really?"
Naruto and Tenten sighed with relief and then nodded. "Isn't it great?"
Neji reached for the papers. "Let's look at them-"
BOM!
Tenten suddenly smacked his hand down with hers.
"…"
"…"
Everybody stared in surprise.
Neji just stared at her incredulously.
Tenten scowled. "Oi! I said it was a surprise! Don't you ever listen?"
Neji almost glared back, and waited until she lifted her hand when she was sure she squished his hand a bit harder. "Then why were you given it?"
"…Well…"
Naruto and her blood drained. "S-she has knowledge of tools and weapons, Neji! The workers asked me to give it to her! So she can…decide which kind of tools they are to use…"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but decided the whole matter was not worth it. "That is totally understandable," he said; his words drenched in sarcasm.
Sakura shrugged. "We'll know when it comes out. That is very exciting!" she smiled.
Lee nodded. "Hai with youth! Good luck to youthful Konoha workers!"
Neji just shrugged.
"Well then, let's eat." Naruto mumbled and ducked his head to hide his ecstatic grin.
Tenten noticed and closed her eyes. Her lips curved up sneakily; she absolutely couldn't wait!
Naruto slurped his ramen noodles with his chopsticks and hummed happily. He sat in Ichiraku's, an outdoor eatery on-campus of their boarding school, waiting for Tenten to arrive with the papers.
"'Sup."
He looked up and nodded at her. "Goof, goof, you're here! Wampf sum?" he spoke with a mouthful. The girl, with dark hair tied in twin buns, shook her head and plopped down. "Just ate; thanks. Now, tell me everything!" Tenten smoothed the papers as they both stared at the list.
Naruto swallowed his meal. "'Kay. This baby was found on the internet. My pen pal from America emailed me a chain letter with this." He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.
Tenten looked surprised, "You have a pen pal? From America?"
"Yep. I think his name is David…or was it Daniel? Oh I think it was Marvin!" he ignored her look, "Now, anyways, he explained that nobody would actually do this unless they were…crazy? So I thought, 'PERFECT'!" he yelled for effect.
Tenten tried to ignore the gawking passerby students, and rolled her eyes, "Keep your voice down, Naruto."
"As I was saying!" he crossed his arms proudly, "While we are still young, before we turn 16, let's accomplish all of this! And actually do it!"
"You mean before you turn 16." Tenten corrected.
"Ah, you're already 16...old lady."
"Oi!"
"Anyways! What do you think?"
"Hn." She narrowed her eyes at him and then grinned, "I agree! I need some excitement, at least, Shizune-sensei said, so let's get 'er done!"
"Aha! But we have to get started before telling everybody."
"Eh? Why?"
"Well," Naruto shrugged, "Do you think everybody would go through it at the beginning? They might even stop us."
"…I see your point. Hm," Tenten bit her cheek, "But…but can't we at least tell Lee and Neji? Its obvious Neji will question us about the blueprint stuff if we don't say something… And Lee will totally be game with all of this."
Naruto thought hard. He heard wind blow in his half empty brain. Ack!
"Fine! But only if Neji won't complain." He grinned.
"Ha, you better make sure he won't." Tenten smiled pleasantly and winked.
"Eh? I convince Neji? He's scary!" The blonde boy cringed.
The girl patted him on the arm. "You gotta! Neji's still annoyed about what happened in the cafeteria and won't talk to me!"
"Fine, fine, then you convince Lee, and I'll get Neji." They both nodded and Tenten ran off to do her part. Naruto happily ordered another scrumptious bowl of ramen. Hehehehe…
"Neji! Yoohoo!" Naruto jogged to the other side of the boy's hall of the dormitory. Tenten had told him it was Boy's Building B, for second and third years.
The blonde boy whistled; it sure was more spacey than their dorm, in Building C.
Taller, burly guys shoved each other around and a group huddled over to what looked like a colorful magazine, with…
"Oh my God! Is that Icha Icha Weekly? Where did you get this?" Naruto somehow penetrated into the group.
"A puny fox elf?"
"Dude! Get lost!"
"How'd you get in here?"
"Noogie time!"
"AUGH! HELP!"
Naruto made it out on time and ran away, shaking an angry fist before hiding in the supply closet. Hmph, they wouldn't have chased him way if they knew he wrote that one selection for the July issue, in place of his counselor, Jiraiya-sensei.
"Anyway…" Naruto opened the door a crack, and made sure the hall was clear. It was, and he ran out, heading to find Neji. He spotted long, silky, brown hair.
"Neji!"
The called out boy turned around and rose an eyebrow. "What are you doing here, Naruto?"
"Here. I believe you wanted to know."
Giving Naruto a narrowed look, Neji cautiously unfolded it and read slowly.
"It's a list…of 30 Fun Things to do…"
"…In an Elevator…of youth?" Lee read and directed his curious look at Tenten. She nodded fiercely and waited for his reaction. They walked around in the grassiest area of the school, football field, while heavy football players practiced yards away.
"So…no youthful amusement park…?"
"Yeah, sorry we lied, but Naruto didn't want to say anything about it yet."
"…" Lee focused back on the papers and silently read the list and mumbled along. Then he looked back at her, a new bright, light making way to his face.
"THIS IS SO YOUTHFULLY WONDERFUL! WHO KNEW SOMETHING SO UNBEARABLY YOUTFUL EXSISTED?" He shouted and giggled before skipping in place.
Tenten giggled along and grinned. "I know! I know!" she jumped along. "So you'll do it with us?"
"YOUTHFULLY, HAI!"
"Perfect! So now that leaves Neji. But don't say anything else to anybody, not until we start! Okay?"
"Youth tells me haii! Let's bid youthful good luck with Naruto!"
"Yes!"
The hall was filled with rushing male students. Just a few feet away, Naruto and Neji stood; the blonde being the animated one during the conversation.
"So, so? What do you think? Tenten convinced me to ask you guys before anybody else so you can't decline or stop us!"
Neji was bewildered as he read the list over and over again. These tasks were ridiculous! I mean, #9 and #25? These are all tasks only Naruto would do! And he couldn't comprehend the fact that Tenten agreed! Tenten! She can be the most reasonable one at times!
…That was a lot of exclamation points, beautiful man with even more beautiful hair, he thought. Get a hold of yourself.
"No."
"Eh? You can't Neji! Please, you hafta'!" the blonde pouted.
Neji shook his head firmly. "No, Naruto. We could get arrested!"
"Psh!" Naruto waved a hand at him, "Granny-sama would never even consider arresting us! She'd be against her own self, being that she's the Mayor and principal! Besides, without this, you'll grow up a grouch as you already are!"
"Hn."
"I'm serious Neji," Naruto looked creepily serious, "This will be such a thrill, your girly hair particles and quiet demeanor wouldn't even encase control."
Neji had three things in his mind.
Since when the hell did Naruto learn those words?
It. Is. Not. Girly. It. Is. A. Hyuga. Male. TRADITION!
And NO.
"Gomen, Naruto. I will not. I'd rather waste my time dating."
"…" The blonde was silent. Whoa, Neji must really not want to do this with them. He never said the 'D' word! Or even thought of it! Ever!
"…Now I realize you may be uncomfortable with this whole list, Neji," Neji scoffed, but let Naruto continue, "But…I'll make a deal coughbetcough with you."
"…Go on."
"But you have to agree beforehand!"
"What? No! I don't even know what you're going to make me do."
"That's the point! Just agree beforehand."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes!"
"No."
"Aw, Yeeeeesssss!"
"Stop whining!"
"No!"
"Hn."
"Hm… Fine. How do you feel about dirty black mail?'
"I have nothing to hide."
"…I'll find something! I swear!"
"If agreeing would make you shut up…"
"Ha! Glad you understand." Naruto grinned, knowing that Neji knew he fell into his clutches. "Good. So now, come with us on the first day, and if you show a trace that you can't stand it, and back out, you gotta go on a date with Temari. And if you seem fine with it, then continue with us!"
"D-Date?" Neji's eyebrow twitched, "Is that my only choice?"
"No, you got two choices."
"…They are all in your favor..."
"WHOA MAN! No wonder they call you a prodigy!"
"…"
"Okay! We leave after school at five o'clock. And you cannot tell anybody else yet! Thanks Neji! You're a doll! Toodle loo sweet cheeks!"
"…"
The pale eyed boy stared at Naruto's retreating, running, back with an unhinged jaw. Did…did that just really happen?
He heard a bird out the window cawing the word idiot.
Squeezing a squeaky rubber ducky he pulled out of his pocket, with appalling force, Neji breathed in and out*. Just do whatever it takes to not date. Absolutely anything.
Even if it kills him.
CHAPTER 1 END
*Ever seen that one Drake and Josh episode? The one where that angry, screaming guy Josh works with at the theater has a rubber ducky he uses to calm down? Haha I laughed so hard XDDD If you have seen it, then imagine it like that lawlz.
Author's Notes: Anyways, soooo I felt like posting this after reading an email of stuff to do in an elevator and came up with this awkward intro chapter XD I will have the whole list I'm going by so far up on my profile but PLEASE! Give me some suggestions that you might've made up that's story-writable because some of the things on the list leaves me a dead end...lol.
...And yes the main characters are Naruto and Tenten but be WARNED: THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE OR PAIR FANFIC (nejiten ftw x])...SINCE IT'S AU HIGH SCHOOL LIKE, THERE WILL BE OBVIOUSLY IMPLIED ROMANCES AND STUFF LIKE THAT...MAYBE BUT ITS NOT CENTERED ON IT! THIS FIC IS PURELY JUST FOR FUN/CRACK (ALTHOUGH I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THAT XD) AND yes, humor, adventure, and friendship are the genres. Yesh x]
So hope you enjoyed, the story will flow along better for the next chapters (I have 9 done, so expect fairly moderately quick updates XD) and thanks all for reading!
Review with criticism, suggestions/ideas or anything of the like if you want. PEACE!