August 1973
"What were the two of you thinking?"she questioned as she helped James lay down on the couch.
Sirius eyed his best mate. The tears were streaming down his face. His arm was a mangled mess. Bent in the wrong direction, his elbow looked like a wet noodle.
"It's my fault," Sirius admitted without hesitation.
She ignored his confession as she whispered gentle reassurances to her son. Her right hand reached out and carefully ruffled his hair before she turned her attention to Sirius. "Stay with him for a moment," she instructed. "I need to get my wand as well as a draught."
Sirius nodded wordlessly as he watched her rush out of the room.
"Jamie," he said in a soft voice. "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault," James replied through his tears. "I could have said no."
Sirius made a face at these words. Of course James could have said no but Sirius had known that he wouldn't. James never turned down a dare. Sirius knew that as well as he knew that the grass was green and yet he had still dared him to do a handstand on his broom. He had nearly accomplished the dare as well but as he was trying to come out of the handstand, his hand had slipped and he had gone tumbling out of the sky.
The sight of it mixed with the sound of him crashing into the hard earth had been enough to make Sirius want to vomit.
He was sure that he had never moved quite as fast as he had when he had ran into the house to get Mrs. Potter. He was positive that he had never felt so guilty about anything in his life. The Potters had been nothing short of amazing to him and he had repaid them by hurting their son.
"It is," Sirius insisted as Mrs. Potter rushed back into the room.
She handed her son a small vial causing an immediate reaction.
"Mummy no," James whined causing Sirius to tear up as well.
"You must Love," she insisted in a gentle voice. "If I am to fix your arm you must."
"It's disgusting," he protested in a thick whine. He was past the point of caring how childish he looked in front of his best friend.
"None of that," she chided softly. "You'll be in far too much pain if you don't cooperate and take this." She carefully helped James to sit up and then held out the vial.
Reluctantly James reached out his uninjured arm and took it from her. He quickly ingested the contents before handing the now empty vial back to her and making a horrid face.
"Thank you," she said as she placed the small glass bottle on the end table. "Now just relax."
Sirius watched as he blinked in a furious attempt to keep his tears from falling. Mrs. Potter carefully waved her wand over James' arm as she quietly said the spell. Sirius winced slightly as he watched James grimace in pain for all of a moment before calmness took over his face. His elbow suddenly looked normal again, as his arm slowly returned to its usual state.
With another wave of her wand, James' pillow and blanket from his bed floated down the staircase.
She gently plucked them from the air. Carefully she helped James to sit once more. She placed the pillow behind his head before helping him to lie back down. She covered him with his blanket and tucked him in tightly before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "And now you need to rest."
"But Sirius and I were going to go out to the fort," he complained through a yawn.
"I'm sure that Sirius can find something else to occupy his time," she replied. "The fort can wait until tomorrow, it isn't going anywhere."
Sirius quickly nodded. "I have some stuff to do upstairs."
She nodded approvingly. "Rest Jamie," she insisted gently. "I will wake you for lunch."
The words were just out of her mouth and James' eyes were already closed, his breathing deep and steady.
Sirius' eyes drifted from his best mate to his best mate's mother. "I'm sorry," the words tumbled out of his mouth. "It was all my fault. I –" He trailed off as she brought her index finger to her lips before motioning for him to follow her into the kitchen.
He moved quickly, only a step behind her.
He watched as she turned and leaned against the counter before giving him a curious look.
He knew that it was obvious that he was on the verge of tears and he was forever thankful that she was ignoring it.
"What exactly happened?" She asked when he didn't talk.
Sirius couldn't deny that her voice was kind, but he feared that it wouldn't stay that way.
"I dared him to do it," Sirius admitted. He swallowed hard willing his tears to resist the urge to fall. He was sure that he would absolutely die of embarrassment if he started crying. "It was my fault."
She was not a daft woman. She knew her son well. She knew that if Sirius had dared James to do something that James had likely been daring Sirius as well. Her son was rarely innocent and she knew it. She could see the remorse of the child's face and instantly felt sympathy for him. "Accidents happen," she replied softly. "You obviously feel quite bad about what happened.
Sirius nodded unable to locate his voice.
"Still," she continued forcing herself to remember how serious the situation was. "It was absolutely careless to initiate such a dangerous stunt. The two of you are quite lucky that he only managed to hurt his elbow. James could have easily broken his neck."
Sirius felt his two front teeth bite down hard on his bottom lip.
In the seven weeks that he had been staying with the Potters he had never heard her tone so stern. Not even when she had discovered him hiding in the attic. He wouldn't have been the least bit surprised if she decided to turn him over her knee. He knew he more than deserved it. She wouldn't though and he knew it. It wasn't her way.
"I'm real sorry," Sirius replied softly.
"I hate to say this but I think that spending some time in your room would be for the best," she said in a pained voice.
He felt his heart drop at her words. He knew that given the circumstances he was getting off easy but it still hurt coming from her.
In the time that he had been living with the Potters, he and James had gotten into trouble on more than one occasion. It was always Mr. Potter that did the disciplining though. She was content to allow her husband to do so and if necessary to sneak chocolate frogs and treacle treats up to the boy's room. Her being the one to send him to his room now caused his guilt to multiply.
He felt his head nod in agreement on its own accord before he turned and walked out of the room. The moment he was out of her sight he ran up to the guest room, taking the steps two at a time.
He slowed down as he pushed open the bedroom door and once inside closed it tightly behind him.
Hot tears rolled down his face. A horrible pain formed in his stomach. He knew that Mr. Potter would be told what happened. If she was angry enough to send him to his room than he was sure he would be livid. He had hurt their real son.
They were going to kick him out and he knew it.
He didn't blame them for it either. He didn't deserve such a loving family, not if he was going to repay them by hurting them. He decided in that moment that he wouldn't make them do it. He would be gone long before it came to that.
He opened his trunk as he attempted to get his emotions under control.
Choking on an exceptionally loud sob, he pulled his shirts from his wardrobe and placed them in his trunk. Moments later he had his pants and pajamas packed as well.
It took him less than fifteen minutes to pack his belongings. He made sure to leave behind anything that the Potters had bought him. He didn't deserve any of it.
He opened the bedroom door and crept down the hall pulling his trunk behind him as quietly as he could.
He paused momentarily to brush the tears from his face despite the fact that they were still falling from his eyes at a rapid pace.
"What's this?" She questioned in a sad voice.
Sirius looked forward to see Mrs. Potter standing at the top of the staircase, a sad expression on her face as she eyed the trunk next to him and the his tear-stricken face. "You were running away," she stated.
"I have to," Sirius choked out the words.
Concern took over her features as she walked towards him. Without saying a word she reached out and took hold of his arm. Gently she pulled him the two steps to her and then wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly.
Her embrace did not help Sirius to feel any better. It had the opposite affect altogether, his tears came faster and harder as his body shook violently at the force of them.
"I think we need to talk," she said calmly.
He nodded in reply, his face still buried in her dress.
She gently untangled the boy's arms from around her waist before leading him back to his bedroom, leaving his trunk in the middle of the hall. She guided him to his bed and sat down before pulling the child that she had grown to love as much as her own into her lap.
She wrapped her arms around him hugging him tightly as his body continued to shake with sobs.
"Alright Love," she murmured softly. "It's alright. Everything will be fine, you'll see."
He shook his head forcefully as he struggled to get his emotions under control. He didn't know how to tell her that nothing would ever be alright again.
Sirius felt her arms loosen and then pull away from him. He was sure that she was done feeling sympathy for him but seconds later her hand was gently rubbing his back.
She continued to whisper soft reassurances as Sirius continued to work on his despondent weeping.
"I don't deserve this," he finally managed to say several moments later. His throat burned and his voice was hoarse.
"Don't deserve what exactly?"
"Any of this," Sirius replied brushing his tears from his face as he did. "You being so nice."
"Why wouldn't I be nice?" She questioned kindly. She was sure that she already knew the answer.
"It was my fault," Sirius said in a sheepish voice. "He got hurt because of me."
"I know, you told me downstairs."
"He fell from a hundred feet up because of me," Sirius replied a bit taken back by her kindness. She smiled softly at the child's exaggeration before he continued. "He got hurt – bad. He broke his elbow and it was my fault."
"Dislocated his elbow," she corrected him.
"Because I dared him," Sirius replied as a fresh wave of tears threatened to fall. "I knew he wouldn't back down and I still did it. I don't deserve anything."
Her heart nearly broke at the level of guilt that the child was feeling. "It was an accident"
"I hurt him though. You've all been so good to me and I hurt your real son."
She raised an eyebrow at the words suddenly all too aware of the real problem.
Several times now she and her husband had discussed officially adopting the boy whose head was currently resting on her collar bone. They were absolutely crazy about him and there was no denying the love that they felt for him. Clearly they would need to be a bit more proactive in regards to making sure the child knew their feelings as well.
"Would you rather if I was angry at you? Would that do anything to help the situation?"
When Sirius didn't reply she continued.
"Although it is not the role I wish to play under normal circumstances, I can certainly turn you over my knee for a spanking."
Sirius shrugged as he felt his face burn in shame. If she decided that she wanted to spank him he knew that it was well deserved though the idea of her doing so was wretched. He would rather go over Mr. Potter's knee every night for a month than to have her smack him even once.
"Of course," she went on, "than I will have to administer another spanking after lunch as well."
Sirius cringed at the thought but he supposed that two spankings in one day was fair what he had done.
"I think that by then his arm should be healed fully enough," she mused. "Besides, I intend to smack his backside, not his arm."
Sirius pulled his head away from her body and looked up at her curiously.
"What did he dare you to do before he was hurt?" She asked in a knowing voice.
Sirius was silent as his cheeks blushed once more. He thought back to how he had somehow managed to do four pull ups on his broom while suspended high above the ground simply because James had dared him to do so. He wouldn't tattle on James though, he didn't care what the cost was.
"You needn't say a word," she said in her usual gentle demeanor. "I know my son very well and I know that he is not innocent. I am also nearly certain that he has a working brain in that head of his. He could have easily refused your dare." Sirius opened his mouth to argue, to try and explain that James would never back down from a dare but she continued before he could. "I do not intend to punish either of you today. As I have said, accidents happen. James will be just fine. I would go as far as to say that by supper he will be back to his normal self." She paused for a moment as Sirius hastily wiped the remainder of the tears from his face. "It speaks volumes about both your friendship as well as your own character that you feel so much remorse at James' injury. It makes me quite proud to call you ours."
Sirius looked up at her, tears clinging to his eyelashes once more. Surely he must have heard her incorrectly.
"Charles and I have discussed making it official numerous times. I apologize for failing to bring that to your attention however, if it is something that you would be interested in the process can be started. You are our son Sirius, we think of you as such. I would not be any less upset should it have been you that was hurt nor would Charles. Of course you can take all the time you need to think about this. I don't want to pressure you or – "
"No," Sirius quickly shook his head. "I don't need any time. I want this." His heart was pounding against his rib cage at the idea of officially being adopted by the Potters. He had imagined them offering so many times but he had never believed that it would really happen. He squeezed her tightly as she wrapped her own arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"I love you Sirius," she said softly. "We love you. Promise me that you will remember that?"
"I promise," Sirius nodded as he blinked hard in an attempt to keep new tears from falling.
"Does that mean that you will refrain from running away?"
Sirius nodded one more. "Yeah."
"Have you any idea how worried we all would have been?"
"I'm sorry," Sirius replied his voice cracking as a result of the emotions he was holding in. "It felt like the only way."
"Listen to me carefully," she instructed as she removed the child from her lap and stood him in front of her. "Running away may have been the answer for you in the past but that it no longer the case. You have a family that cares for you here. You have a brother and parents that love you dearly. Although I may not have given birth to you like I did James, I have come to love you just as much. You belong with us Sirius. I believe that with all of my heart. So please, the next time that you doubt it, remember my words and talk to one of us before you pack your things."
Sirius nodded as he gave into his emotions the tears now streaming down his face once more.
"Shall we unpack then?" She asked softly.
"You really want me?" He sobbed in a hoarse voice.
"We do," she nodded as her own eyes filled with tears. "More than anything."
He fell forward landing in her arms once more, crying softly into her shoulder.
"When Charles gets home this evening we will start the necessary steps to make it official. Does that sound okay?"
"Brilliant," Sirius nodded.
"I love you," she whispered as she squeezed him tightly. "Never doubt that."
Sirius nodded in agreement as he rested his head on her shoulder. For the first time in his life he felt like he truly belonged. He had found a family that loved him. He couldn't believe how close he had come to leaving them. He felt his face burn in shame at his actions. He would keep his promise to her; he would never run away again. It wouldn't be a hard promise to keep either, the last thing he wanted was to ever have to leave any of them.
The End.