Acceptance by WyldClaw

Plot: this oneshot happens very shortly after the end of the last hope. This was originally written before Bramblestar's Storm came out but modified so it fits into the main storyline. It's told in the POV's of Birchfall and Dustpelt. In each section there is a cat that helps them out. If I owned warriors I would have made ferncloud's kits kill brokenstar for her death. XXX indicates new narrator, whose name is in bold. Thoughts are in italics. Enjoy!

Dustpelt:

It was a few sunrises after the Dark Forest Battle and I felt like a hundred and ten moon old cat. I had lost my appetite and I moved around the ruined camp as if in a daze. It was like some other cat was in my body. I felt like Tigerstar himself had taken out my heart, ripped it apart like a mouse, and replaced it with a gaping hole. . The only thoughts running through my head after the battle that firestar and Ferncloud, my beautiful wonderful devoted pale gray mate were dead forever Firestar and Ferncloud ... dead. Ferncloud… my sweet little Ferncloud was in StarClan.

I didn't have an appetite nor did I want to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes to rest I saw her pale gray body falling in slow motion to the ground. It was heart wrenching. I looked down at my dirt-covered paws, lost in memories of our times together:

Ferncloud- then fernpaw coming up to me and telling me about Swiftpaw's plan

Her telling me about her fears about Darkstripe

Sharing tongues and bonding with her

Falling in love with her despite our age difference

Feeling so elated when she told me she was expecting kits for the first time that I felt I could run all the way to Highstones and back

Watching our kits grow up

Finding out we were going to be grandparents

Discovering the parts our granddaughters Dovewing and Ivypool had in the Dark Forest Battle...

A grey paw waved in front of my face. "Dustpelt? Dustpelt. Hello? Anyone in there?"

"Can't you see I'm-" I looked up and blinked, seeing Jayfeather's blind blue eyes in front of me. "Oh it's just you. What do you want? "

"Sheesh. What ruffled your fur this morning?" He looked up at me. "No need to claw my pelt off. I was just checking to see if your wounds need atttention."

"I'm fine Jayfeather," I grumbled. "Use your precious herbs on some cat who really needs them. " I got up and started to pad away.

"It's not your fault she died Dustpelt," he whispered. "She would have wanted to go that way."

I stopped, turned around and looked at the medicine cat in disbelief. What does he know about love? He doesn't know what it's like to lose someone you love like that! Ferncloud didn't want to die! I stomped right up to him, my fur fluffed up. "You don't know what you're talking about Jayfeather! Medicine cats don't know what it's like to loose a mate. " I hissed at him but he didn't flinch. "Sh-She didn't want to die like that! You even can't imagine the pain my kits and I feel right now knowing she's gone forever. I feel lost without her. Ferncloud was my life and I saw her DIE!"

He raised his tail. "I do. Hollyleaf died too. And I lost all my trust in Squirelflight and Leafpool for ages when Hollyleaf announced who our true birth parents were."

That statement felt like he had knocked all the wind out of me in a practice battle. I felt my jaw drop- it had been Hollyleaf who said that at that long ago Gathering. My fur fell back on my pelt. I sat down on the ground. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me just now. it hurts so much"

"You're in shock and I don't think thyme leaves would help with this kind of shock." He sat down next to me, his sightless eyes fixed on mine. "It's understandable that you want to lash out like a badger at everyone. I'm hurt too but I know how to guard my feelings."

My ears flicked. " Well I don't have to wonderful skill of yours. What am I supposed to do, never speak to another cat again? Hide my grief? Forget about her and move on? For StarClan's sake she was my mate!"

He shook his head. "No. I'm not saying you should forget about her. The pain would be insufferable. When I thought Hollyleaf died the first time it felt like some cat ripped out my heart. But I had to put the Clan and my duties first so I submerged myself in my duties as a full medicine cat. Of course my powers and the prophecy from StarClan didn't help and there were times I had to force myself to stop looking for her among their ranks in my dreams."

"Well, as I don't have the happy power to walk with StarClan nor am I a medicine cat what do you expect me to do? Hunt and fight for ThunderClan every single waking moment?" I growled. Stupid mousebrain! He's not making me feel any better – he's making me feel much worse

Squirelflight's nephew gazed at me and flicked his ears. "Not every waking moment. Spend time with your kits- they need you during this troubled time. What about Birchfall? Don't you think he's broken up about training in the dark forest and causing her death? "

"Well... " I felt a stab of guilt. I hadn't really thought about his feelings.

He didn't give me a chance to continue. " Good the guilt is setting in. Ferncloud was like a foster mother to all the kits. Look at Lillykit, Dewkit, Amberkit, Snowkit and Seedkit. Seedkit " He flicked his tail to the nursery. " think of everything Ferncloud has done for the clan and you'll come up with an answer."

My whiskers twitched as I thought about what he said. Birchfall, spiderleg, Foxleap and Icecloud - they had lost their kindhearted mother. Whitewing/ whom Ferncloud and I saw, as our daughter- must be crushed. Then i remembered something else: she helped out with the nursery kits- Brightheart saw her as a kindred spirit. . I need to be strong for Lillykit, Snowkit, Dewkit, Seedkit and Amberkit. They not only lost their mother but their sort of foster mother as I thought. But how can I? Panic and worry washed over me.

As if he could read my thoughts Jayfeather meowed " you'll do fine. Just pretend the nursery kits are your own. Besides I can always pass on a message to your mate. " Boy was I a mousebrain! I forgot Jayfeather could see but only in his dreams. He went on; " I think you and your kits should go out hunting as a family and talk through your grief. It will help both you and ThunderClan"

A purr of agreement came out of my throat at his suggestion. I got to my paws as the blind medicine cat got to his paws as well. " Thanks Jayfeather that's just what we need: A distraction. I just have to check on Foxleap in your den. " My fluffy reddish-brown son had been badly injured in the battle.

I saw a smile appear on his face. "I'll go with you to do an assesment on him. I don't think his wounds are that serious but he is one stubborn fighter."

I chuckled and puffed out my chest. "He gets that trait from his old tom."

XXX. XXX. XXX. XXX

Birchfall:

I was in total shock. The Dark Forest Battle had destroyed our camp and Ferncloud, Hollyleaf, Mousefur Sorreltail and firestar were dead because of it. The Clan was shattered. In addition to that my own little brother Foxleap was wounded and recovering in Jayfeather's den. Even though I had redeemed myself and fought against those evil dead cats, Sorreltail Spiderleg's mentor Mousefur and my own mother were dead partially due to my actions.

Even after Tigerstar had been defeated and the battle won one thought kept on running through my mind: I killed my mother. I killed Ferncloud.

I watched Jayfeather and Briarlight spread rosemary over the cold grey body that had once been my comfort zone during my harsh kithood. I'm sorry Ferncloud. I didn't realize the dark forest was evil. I'm such a stupid, stupid son .I believed I was learning skills to help ThunderClan, I thought. " I'm worthless. First I help Ashfur and now..."

" You're not worthless young Birchfall" A shadow came behind me as Bramblestar came up to me. His fur was matted with cobwebs and dried blood. He called to Squirelflight- his deputy who was helping Thornclaw and Cherrypaw to clear the debris from the center of the camp. " Squirelflight I need you to take a hunting patrol out and get some fresh kill. We also need a border patrol sent out when you get the chance."

"But B-bramblestar you need to rest your injuries." She pointed out.

"They aren't that bad. I can rest when I know everyone in my Clan is taken care of first." He replied.

"Stubborn fur ball! Fine don't come crying to Jayfeather or me when the injuries sting. " She retorted.

"Okay you win. I'll see Jayfeather soon. Birchfall and I need to have a little chat in the training hollow" he told her.

" As you command oh wise leader " she replied and then glancing caught his eye and understood.

Brambleclaw beckoned me with his tail and we left the camp. As we went into the sandy training hollow my stomach felt like in knots. Is he going to punish me? I thought. Will I be exiled?

We got there- the ground clawed by the recent battle - and he motioned for me for me to sit down as he did the same. He took a deep breath and began. " I think it's best if we clear the air and get this over with now."

" You're not going to banish me are you? I know I probably deserve it for helping Ashfur trap Firestar and training in the Dark Forest and -"

He looked surprised at my words. " Banish you? Banish one of the bravest young tomcats I know? Is that what you think I'm going to do? He shook his head and chuckled. " If I were to banish every ThunderClan cat who's ever trained in the Dark Forest I'd have to boot myself out too. No Birchfall I'm not going to kick you out. You are a great asset to the Clan ". I felt a bit better. He smiled. " you've come so far from that tiny starving kit back in the old forest. Don't beat yourself up about the fox trap incident you didn't know what Ashfur and Hawkfrost were planning for Firestar. You were simply a young apprentice doing what your mentor told you."

I hung my head. " Yeah... but when I found out what happened ... I couldn't sleep."

" It's in the past and you can't change the past. StarClan understands you didn't know what was going to happen. You were incredible in the Dark Forest Battle." he paused. "But I'm wonder. how you are handling the after effects."

"How am I handling the fact that I got so involved with training and being in the Dark Forest that I betrayed the warrior code? Nearly got killed by Brokentail? " My voice was starting to crack and I felt my whiskers tremble " f-fought for my life and -and watched Mousefur a-a-and Ferncloud get killed? " I paused to take a breath. " Horrible and lousy. Luke I want to hide in a rabbit whole or a fox den for thirty seasons. "

"Let me be the first cat to tell you that there is no shame in having Tigerstar and Hawkfrost deceive you. From what I've heard many cats- some older than you-were tricked." His long claws scratched into the earth. " Even in death and in the Dark Forest My father proved to be a treacherous cat was as cunning as an old fox. "

"Your father?" I remembered something Longtail told me when I was still a kit. " You're his son aren't you?"

"Yes." He nodded. "Tawnypelt of ShadowClan and I are his kits. She and I had to live under the assumptions we'd turn out like him once Firestar- well then he was a warrior known as Fireheart- revealed his blood soaked crimes for power. " I shuddered remembering some of the stories I heard in my youth. "It got to a point where an insult from an elder named Smallear was the final straw for her and she left for ShadowClan. I was hurt and shocked by this but it was her choice. There were a few times during my training that I felt I should too but my mother Goldenflower was the biggest supporter in deciding to stay in my birth Clan Tawnypelt had it easier than me – I look exactly like my murderous father it was like this huge storm cloud hanging over me. Even when I was older I was unable to escape Tigerstar's shadow. Ashfur never trusted me because Tigerstar killed his mother Brindleface." he looked up at me his amber eyes full of warmth. " you would have liked her Birchfall. I can just imagine her fussing over you and your siblings. "

I remembered another story I heard about. " You had to watch Feathertail sacrifice herself."

"It was something I'll never forget. She and Tanwypelt became good friends- in fact all of us questers became close. It hurt us all when she died. I know that she watches over me along with Goldenflower from StarClan. " He touched his tail to my shoulder " you have to realize that their deaths were not your fault at all."

" I know Brambleclaw but it still feels like it is,"

"Would you rather be an eternal beaten slave of the dark forest while they roam the territories? Destroying life and the warrior code. Mousefur, Sorreltail Hollyleaf-" he looked distant at the mention of his foster daughter who sacrificed her life to save Ivypool- despite hardly knowing her-" Firestar, and Ferncloud knew what the consequences were and they fought like LionClan "

My tail flicked in amusement. " True. I don't think I ever saw Mousefur fight more furiously in my life. All I've known her for is her sharp tongue. Spiderleg told me that she used to be a great fighter but i never believed it until now. "

He let out an mrrow of consent. "She did have a fierceness about her. I'm just curious, Birchfall what made you join the Dark Forest. You must have had a reason. Ivypool and Blossomfall did it out of jealously "

I sighed. " I think I wanted to be special and to be an amazing warrior. I saw how the Clan treated Dovewing after the beaver incident. I know it's wrong to be jealous of my own daughter's abilities when she never ask for them in the first place but-"

"Like I said it's not your fault and Older cats than you have been tricked by Tigerstar. I forgive you Birchfall. You showed your true loyalty to ThunderClan during the battle. Besides I'm sure Ferncloud wouldn't want her boy moping around. "

" Nope. " I stated. " You're right Bramblestar. I shouldn't be blaming myself for her death. She died a heroine. I'm proud to call her my mother. She'll always be watching over me along with my siblings in Silverpelt and wouldn't want me to dwell on the past. She'd want me to focus on the future."

"Spoken like a true son. " he complimented me.

I lowered my voice to a whisper " do you think the other clan Cats will forgive those of us who trained and assisted the Dark Forest?"

He got to his feet and I followed his example. " I can't speak for the other leaders but I'm sure they will. "

"Is there anything I can do to help out? I'd rather keep my mind occupied."

"Let's ask Squirelflight where she thinks you could lend a helping paw. I'm sure she can find something for you to do "

The end.