Every day I awake
I await my fate as the sky turns blue to grey
Now I understand it might be my last day
Might be my last day
Now I understand it might be my last day
Might be my last day
It's been a few hours since I got here. He's been in a coma for the past few hours. I have been struggling to cope, the rest of the band are oblivious of what's happened to him, and that's the way it shall stay until they really need to know.
This is all my fault. If I had just listened to him, neither of us would be in this mess. We had been arguing, I had accused him of sleeping with Danny behind my back.
You see, we met Danny at an award show a few months ago, and slowly the guys began reconnecting with him again, that is all of them but Ben. You see, Ben and Danny used to date- the fans called them Brusnop- and I was told by Sam and Cameron that their breakup had been nasty. So Ben was being a little sour towards him, he refused to talk to him, until one day Danny called Ben and asked him to meet up with the ex-vocalist to catch up, Ben reluctantly agreed.
After he got back, he was in a rather good mood, saying that he and Danny had got along really well- and that's when things began to go down hill.
They would meet up once every few months (mostly because touring got in the way) then it became once a month then it quickly escalated to once every two weeks. Then, one night, I got a text from Ben, telling me that he was going to be spending the night at Danny's place. I didn't think anything of it at first- I mean, it was great that the worlds biggest dick (in my opinion anyway) and MY boyfriend were becoming best friends again- and I wasn't jealous. Okay I kinda was.
Anyway, one night became one weekend which became almost an entire week. Then they began writing songs together. I know this sounds really stupid, but if your boyfriend was getting cosy with his ex- who also just so happens to be the world's biggest piece of shit- again just my opinion- wouldn't you be really jealous and demand answers?
So I did what every jealous motherfucking fucker would do, I questioned him about it- which apparently was the wrong thing to do- and I got shit for it.
So what am I supposed to do now I've reached the end?
And if I gained another chance, would you still be there?
*Flashback*
*Third Person P.O.V.*
Ben walked up to the door of the house he shared with his boyfriend Denis. Walking through the door and into the living room, the Brit saw his childish lover sitting on the couch with large bags around his eyes and a glass of water in his hand.
Denis walked over to Ben and quietly asked; "Where have you been all night? I've been trying to call you, I've been up all night worrying about you, I thought something had happened to you." "I'm sorry Den Den, I really am, my phone's dead and I haven't had time to charge it, I've been up all night with Danny working on-" "Danny? You've been with Danny?" Denis said, becoming angry. "I've been sitting here, worrying about your sorry ass and all this time you've been getting smashed with that piece of shit not giving a damn about how your boyfriend felt.!" Denis yelled. "I have been sitting here, worrying about you, going bat shit insane about your safety and you've been with him."
Denis sat back on the couch and wrapped his arms around his small frame, and broke down into tears. "Denis, I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you were waiting up for me, I would have called-" "But your phone was dead, how could you ha-" Denis looked up at Ben, with tears racing down his thin face, "You lied, y-y-your phone isn't dead- h-how could you?"
Ben put his head down, and turned away from his lover. "Denis, it's not like that, I promise." Denis, once again, became angry. Looking at Ben, he snapped. Screaming he said; "No more! It's over! I gave you everything and you spat it back out and gave it to that prick, I'm done! I-I-I can't take this! You can go to hell with that dick, now pack your bags and get the fuck out of here!"
He screamed. Ben, with tears streaming down his face, walked up the stairs to their shared bedroom and packed his clothes into his suitcase, the one that reminded him of happier times when they were on tour, before he and Danny got closer, before he and Denis got distant, before it felt like the love of his life was gone.
Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been so sad for far too long
And as I gently slip away, this song will always stay
Denis watched Ben get into his car and pull out of the driveway. Before he drove away, the teary-eyed Brit looked into the window at his now ex-boyfriend and left. Denis looked out the window and saw that Ben was sitting in the middle of the road and, as though time had slowed, watched as his former flame was hit by a bus which came speeding around the corner.
"BEN!" He yelled and ran out and down the street, to where the car's carcass with laying.
Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been so sad for far too long
And as I gently slip away, this song will always stay
*END OF FLASHBACK*
*Denis P.O.V.*
Now I'm sitting in this shit hole hospital waiting to find out if Ben's survived. It's been six hours since the crash happened and I still hate myself for what happened, it's all my fault, why am I such a dick to people I love? (please don't answer that.)
For now, this is my goodbye
I then heard the door open and when I turned I saw Danny walk towards me. "What the fucking hell do you want?" I spat at him, my rough accent making it a little difficult to understand. "Listen, mate, I know you wanna kick my arse and to be honest I do as well, I like Ben, I really do, but not the way you think. I just wanted to tell you why we've been hanging out so much..." "Save it, I don't want to hear it, I just want my Ben to get better, then we're getting as far as humanly possible- even if that means needing to move to the other half of this planet." "That doesn't even make sense- anyway, Ben was coming to me because he wanted to find the perfect way to ask you to marry him."
"W-what? What do you mean, marry, he never said anything about marriage." "That's because it was a secret you dildo!" He yelled at me, I could smell the alcohol coming from him. "Listen, Denny, it's been nice chatting to you an' all but I really gotta blast. Tell Ben I was here, and whatever you do, don't bite his head off for not telling you why we were hanging out." He said as he turned and walked out the door.
So what am I supposed to do now I've reached the end?
And if I gained another chance, would you still be there?
I turned and saw a nurse walking out of Ben's room. "Denis Shaforostov?" She asked, clearly struggling to pronounce my surname. "Here I am." "Mr Bruce has gained several injuries as a result of the crash. He has pressure building up on the brain and has just came out of surgery. He only has a 12% chance of survival but you can go and see him if you'd like to?" She said. "Yes, I'd like to see him." I replied, she pointed to the door.
Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been so sad for far too long
And as I gently slip away, this song will always stay
When I got into his room, I saw Ben lying on his bed with wires attached to every hole and bend in his body (not in a dirty way, we're all adults here for fuck sake). I walked up to his bed and sat in the seat next to it, holding his hand gently. I sighed and looked at his face, which was covered in cuts and bruises. "Baby?" I whispered. He opened his eyes and looked me in the eye. "Den Den?" "Yeah, baby, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere ever again."
We sat there for what felt like eternity, although it was only a few minutes. Suddenly, I got down next to his bed, and said; "Benjamin Paul Bruce, will you take me, your idiotic, stupid and jealous motherfucking fucker of a fucking boyfriend to be your motherfucking fucker of a fucking husband?" "Yeah, 'course I fucking will, you fucking prick!" He said, grabbing my face and pulling me in for a kiss.
Maybe Danny isn't so bad after all. I thought.
Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been so sad for far too long
And as I gently slip away, this song will always stay.