As soon as the closing credits rolled, Sam turned to Kurt. "Sooo? What did you think?" he asked.
Sam and Kurt had been doing this for a couple months now. Once a week they'd have movie or TV night at Kurt's house. It was such a relief for Sam—to get away from it all for a few hours every week.
Kurt smacked him in the arm with a pillow. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Uh," Sam said. And yeah, maybe he should've thought about it a little more before showing the gay boy a television show with not one but two half-naked women. "Sorry?"
And Sam would be more disappointed by Kurt not liking Firefly, except he was kind of used to it. They rotated. Every other week Kurt would dazzle Sam by choosing this movie that was just amazing. And every other week Sam's movies—well Sam's movies didn't go over so well.
"I mean," Kurt said, "when you said you wanted to watch yet another sci-fi show I was expecting to be thoroughly disappointed. Your sci-fi selections to date have left something to be desired."
Star Trek was too misogynistic. "And with ridiculous graphics to boot. Is there a reason why every planet is a desert? And why does the guy in the red shirt always die? Can you say cliché?"
Star Wars was boooring. And disgusting. "As if the fight in the garbage compactor wasn't enough. Now they're covered in animal innards? What's next? Is someone going to lose a limb? Oh my god, they are aren't they?"
Avatar was too blue. And too choppy. And there were too many trees. "If I wanted to watch a movie involving this much greenery, I'd stick in my old taped copy of Fern Gully."
They'd watched Fern Gully the next week. Sam had fallen in love.
"I know, Kurt," Sam said. "Like I said, sorry."
So Sam wasn't exactly shocked anymore when Kurt didn't like his choices. He was a little disappointed though. Who didn't love the Joss?
"Which is why I was so surprised to find I actually liked this show," Kurt said, talking like he hadn't even heard Sam at all.
Sam felt a smile spread across his face. "Really?" he asked.
Kurt turned to him then. "But here's what I don't get. Why didn't you tell me the captain and the doctor were doing it?"
"What?" Sam asked, brow furrowed in confusion.
"I mean," Kurt said, turning to him "if you want to get the gay boy interested in sci-fi, it's way more effective to talk up the homoerotic relationship than to talk about the filming speed and lighting methods."
"…Wait. What?" Sam asked, eyes beginning to widen in shock.
"Especially if the two men involved in the equation are that hot," Kurt said, fanning himself. "That doctor was some serious eye candy, but for some reason I found the captain even more attractive."
"But Kurt, Captain Mal and Simon Tam aren't doing it," Sam said, frowning.
Kurt sniffed with superiority. "How little you know." He turned a pleading look on Sam, then. "Are we going to watch the next episode next week?"
"…I…guess," Sam said, still a little shell-shocked.
"Oh, good. I want to see if the little engineer and the space prostitute can work through their difficulties," Kurt said, grabbing a couple popcorn kernels and throwing them in his mouth. "It must be so difficult, watching her go off to all those other clients, but at least the engineer knows her girl will always come back to her in the end."
"Uh—Kurt," Sam said. He was about to say how Inara and Kaylee were not, no way no how, doing it, but something stopped him. Then an idea got into his head. "You know Spock and Kirk—they're doing it."
"Oh my god. Really?" Kurt said, eyes huge. "That explains so much."
Sam stared at Kurt out of the corner of his eye, not really believing he'd get away with this. "Same with Han and Luke. Those two totally make googly eyes at each other the moment Leia's back's turned. And you don't want to know the things C3PO and R2D2 do when they're alone together."
"Seriously?" Kurt said, eyebrow arched. "I find myself equal parts intrigued and disgusted. How do they even do it anyway?"
"Who can say, really?" Sam said with a shrug. "They're robots. They're adaptable."
"Huh," Kurt said. "So, the soldier and the alien warrior?"
"Totally doing it," Sam said, on a roll. "You could practically feel the unresolved sexual tension rolling off them the first half of the movie, then suddenly—poof gone." He cracked his neck. "Oh, and Dr. Augustine and Trudy were totally getting it on too."
"We are totally watching those movies again," Kurt said, looking like he wanted to pop one of them in the DVD player right that second. "Who knew there was so much homosexuality in the sci-fi genre? I'm beginning to understand why you're such a geek, Sam."
Sam smiled to himself for a second, then he caught Kurt's last words. "Hey!"