RESET.
Sans slowly opens his eyes…
No, DAMMIT!
That damn kid will never stop doing this will they?
He sits up and looks around at his bedroom. The sock pile that he's laid out in a specific way to tell him if things reset without him knowing… the tornado of garbage swirling in the corner, his treadmill… It was all back again.
Dammit…
Dammit that fucking kid!
Sans can feel tears stinging his sockets. The overflowing swell of sadness completely taking over his body. He feels heat rising in his bones and finally just stuffs the boney heals of his hands to his eyes and quietly begins to cry.
This will never end. He's stuck in this looping hell forever. Forever and forever he'll have to watch everyone he loves and cares for die and die and die.
He can't fucking deal with this… He needs help. He needs someone to just hold him right now. Any pride he had at the beginning of all of this has completely flown out the window.
Sans sobs with one hand to his eye as he shlups out of bed and slowly shuffles his way out of his room. Papyrus… He had to see his brother. Sans needed to hug his brother so bad right now it was almost painful.
In the living room, feeding Sans' pet rock was Papyrus. Just as glorious and tall and sweet as always. He hears Sans coming down the stairs and turns.
"BROTHER! YET AGAIN YOU'VE FAILED TO FEED YOUR-" Papyrus halts his words immediately.
An unfamiliar sight. His goofy, funny, happy brother was… crying. Not just tearing up or whimpering, but full on sobbing into his hands, blue tears flowing down his bones onto his clothes.
"SANS, MY GOD ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WHAT IS THE MATTER?!" Papyrus rushes over with long strides. Sans gets to the last step and slowly puts his arms around his brother, nearly collapsing into his thin arms.
He wasn't sure if he could cry any harder or make any more tears than he was. But good god was he wrong. Holding Papyrus in his arms reignites the emotions and Sans sobs openly and loudly.
Horrified by this very different scene of Sans, Papyrus stands there for a few seconds taking it in. But it doesn't take long for him to lean down and really hug his brother tightly and wholly, rubbing his back.
"Papyrus, I love you so much…" Sans sobs. "Please please please please don't leave me."
Papyrus can feel the burning of tears in his own eyes. He has NEVER seen his brother like this. To see his lazy smiley brother reduced to a sobbing wet mess is very scary. Pap wasn't even sure Sans had this side of him as an OPTION. What on earth could have caused his brother to feel this way?
"I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU BROTHER." Papyrus reassures.
"Please Papyrus, Christ I'm begging you not to leave me. Ju-just stay here and do-don't fucking leave." Sans sobs at the last few words. His taller brother hugs him tighter and nods.
"I PROMISE SANS, I WON'T LEAVE YOU. WE'LL STAY HERE."
"I'll protect you Papyrus. I'll protect you if it's th-the last thing I do, e-even if I have to do it a million more times I'll keep you safe."
What does he mean a million more times? Papyrus can't stop this terrible sinking feeling in his bones that his brother may have been suffering under that skeletal smile of his. Just this morning Sans was cracking jokes and being rather cheery. So what the hell had happened in the last couple hours to change his brother so drastically? Was Sans truly suffering alone and just hiding it under a comedic façade? Was he just having a REALLY bad day?
"SANS…" Pap can't get over the sounds of his brother crying. It's truly heart wrenching. And it's only getting worse.
"I'll never ever be able to tell you how much I love you bro! How much you mean to me and how much everything you DO means to me!" Sans sobs, the grip of his tiny hands getting tighter on his brother's red scarf. He slowly starts becoming hysterical.
"I l-love how you're so enthusiastic about EVERYTHING, and I love that you want to learn and be your b-best! I like it when you insist I eat your spaghetti and you wear that goofy apron! I love how no matter what stupid bullshit I say or do, you don't hate me for it because you're too damn nice to ever be seriously mean to me, or to anyone! I like the stupid sticky note wars we have over the sock and I like when we watch TV together even when it's some garbage reality show because I g-get to spend time with you that I know won't get totally fucked up by that KID! Your face and your smile and your eyes are perfect and they're the only things that keep me sane in this RESET hell!"
Sans tries to say more things, but eventually the words are caught and muddled with shaking sobs. His rattling almost becomes violent.
Something has happened to Sans. Papyrus has just witnessed the complete and utter collapse of his older brother. His mind, his body, his personality. SOMETHING has blown the cap off of what must have been the most pent up bottle of feelings in existence, and now Sans is just barely standing here not just overflowing, but completely shattering.
What KID?
Sans' nonsensical babble slows to a stop when Papyrus gives him a small "clack" on the top of his head with his teeth. A sort of skeleton kiss. The small skeleton looks up at his brother, giant blue bubbling tears almost covering the entirety of his eye sockets.
Papyrus would put his hands on Sans' face, but he fears that if he even remotely moves his arms from around his small sibling that he would just collapse and turn to dust right then and there. As if his arms are a safety net and it's the only thing keeping Sans afloat.
"SANS. IT'S OKAY. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. I'M HERE FOR YOU. I'M HERE AND I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE… I'M SO SORRY THAT I..." Wasn't there for you. Saying it is hard. He never knew that this was brewing and he feels so bad... How could he not see this in his own flesh and blood?... So to speak.
"BUT I'M REALLY AND TRULY HERE FOR YOU NOW."
Sans knows that his brother means well… but there's no way he could ever know just how not okay everything is and will not ever be. But at least for now… At least this time…
He'll stay sane just a little longer knowing that his brother will be there for him. Sans feels awful for burdening his brother with this... but just this once...
()
A few days later, that kid comes out of the ruins…
Sans does his best to try and stick to this shitty script, and greets the human like he always does. With a smile and a handshake with a whoopie cushion.
But god is he tired.
There are no puzzles this time around. Not any finished ones anyway. Papyrus is far too busy making sure Sans is not alone or feeling bad. He's staying at home to watch his brother.
Sans doesn't even care about the linear job he's been cursed with. Just this once he wants to be selfish. Truly selfish. Inside he knows that if he doesn't take care of himself he WILL completely give up. And if he gives up, then he'll be dragging everyone else in the entire underground with him.
He sleeps and wakes up, rolls over in bed and goes back to sleep. He doesn't eat or go to Grillby's or watch TV or read books or anything. Papyrus checks on him and holds him a lot of the time. He's still scared of this wild change in someone he loves. But he must preserver and help his brother! If his brother isn't happy and healthy…
Those puzzles can wait. Everything can wait until Sans feels better. If his name is not The Great Papyrus!
Undyne calls Papyrus a few times a day to pester him and to ask how Sans is doing. He doesn't tell her much, other than he's sorry that he can't work today. This is usually followed by a very patient and understanding Undyne. She tells him that he'd "better take good care of Sans to make up for the work you're both missing!" Papyrus knows she means well even if she can't properly put it into words.
And he can't stop thinking about what Sans said. "That KID." What kid? Was a child really doing this to him? What monster in the underground would hurt him so?
Finally after four days of nonstop sleeping and being held, Sans leaves his bed and he and Papyrus eat that god awful spaghetti together on the couch. Sans doesn't even care about the taste. He's sitting with his precious brother and eating the food that he so lovingly made with all his soul.
The small skeleton gets his hoody on afterwards and insists he goes to work. Papyrus of course asks multiple times if he's sure Sans should be working.
"I'm really sorry that I..." Sans pauses and looks down at his slippered feet. Almost like the guilt was physically weighing his head down.
"That I worried you like that Papyrus. But I think I'm a bit better now. Besides, I could go for a walk anyway." He lies… He smiles at his brother and Papyrus stands there not quite believing he's perfectly alright again.
It's been this way for a long time he's gathered.
"I SUPPOSE IF YOU INSIST… BUT PLEASE SANS, CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME OR IF YOU WANT TO GO HOME. I'LL COME GET YOU."
"Sure thing bro. I'll be sure t'give you a call on the cellbone." Sans winks and points at Papyrus, who very nearly rolls his eyes. But he supposes it's okay. If he's feeling okay enough to make puns, maybe he's alright after all.
"SANS BE SERIOUS!" Papyrus shouts, trying to hide a small smile. Sans gives a little chuckle and waves, leaving the house.
He trudges through the snow and hates how familiar it is. Just another loop of him walking in the snow to his station. He passes the Librarby, Grillby's and the Inn. Normally he'd just teleport a few times to get to his station, but he just doesn't have the strength. Sans wonders if maybe he should have stayed home after all… He's so tired he feels like flopping face first into a pile of snow and falling asleep right there.
Before he can even reach his station though, ahead of him he sees that kid standing right in front of it. Did they wait for him or something? It's been almost a week now… They obviously noticed the break in pattern. Of course they did.
"Hey kid don't you have better things to do than stand in the snow? Go play or something." But the child doesn't move. It's clear they are not the nice version of the human child.
"Oh…" Sans slumps a little and the human raises an eyebrow.
A dejected Sans? This is their chance! Their red soul appears in front of them, initiating battle. Sans just sighs…
"Come on kid, don't you ever get tired of this shit? How many times has it been already? You don't even have that much LOVE..."
"Heehee~ Why would I get tired of it, when every time I reset something new happens?" Their eyes are crazy and a grin nearly splits their face in half.
"You really are a freak aren't you?" Sans takes his left hand out of his hoody pocket and it glows blue. His magic is very faded though…It's a dull blue and it's at that moment the child realizes that this fight is going to be easy despite their LOVE and EXP.
They dash forward and swing a shitty toy knife at the short skeleton. He moves aside, but part of his hoody is ripped. Wow, toys sure are dangerous.
White bones appear and shoot slowly at the human. The kid laughs and dodges them expertly, swinging at Sans again. Again he dodges, but only barely.
"Back off kid, I really ain't in the mood." He says without much punch. A series of blue bones fire at the human, and they stand perfectly still, knowing the drill by now. Sans keeps the blue bones coming for as long as he can, but finally he just runs out of magic and all the attacks fade away into nothingness. He pants and steps back with a wobble.
He doesn't attack again. He stands there tired… Tired in so many ways. Sans is just… so done. Trying to beat this damn kid never works. Even if he kills them, they just reload their save. Even when they kill him, they just reset and the cycle begins again. Even if they reach the surface... It only lasts ten minutes before the kid gets bored and restarts.
*Sans doesn't have the will to attack anymore.
*Even defending seems impossible for him.
The child runs forward and stabs Sans, then ripping the knife upward with a disgusting grin.
Without another word, Sans falls to his knees and sits there feeling himself disappear. The child stands in front of him and stares. He's not even trying anymore… That's no fun. But nothing more is said.
Sans leans forward and before hitting the ground, he completely turns to dust. It plumes out in the snow and his clothes fall to the ground with a fwump.
()
It's only a couple hours later, but Papyrus decided that, while calibrating his puzzles, he should really go get Sans. It's just a feeling he has, and it's not good. Pap gets his cellphone out and speed dials Sans number. It rings and rings and rings. With every unanswered jingle, Papyrus gets more nervous. On the last ring of his second time calling he is speed walking towards his brother's station. Even if it took until the last ring, Sans would always answer his phone if he knew it was Papyrus.
He breaks out into a sprint when he calls two more times and still no answer.
Papyrus rushes past trees and jumps over passing Froggit's and Snowdrakes. But he stops dead in his tracks and drops his phone in the snow when he sees the literal worst sight.
In the snow is a blue hoody, black shorts and slippers laying on the ground. They cover a pile of dust.
He walks closer to the pile, feeling sick to what would be his stomach if he'd had one.
"SANS?" He asks quietly. Meekly. Everything Sans said a few days ago floods back to him harder than ever "Your face and your smile and your eyes are perfect and they're the only things that keep me sane in this RESET hell." "That KID..."
Papyrus had thought about what his brother was talking about this whole time. Reset. It didn't make sense, but it was beginning to click. Piece by piece.
RESET.
Their world was resetting over and over again. And Sans… Was he was living in a loop? Looping the same several days over and over and over again. That…
Is that why Sans was so lazy? Because time would just restart? Papyrus has felt times where he'd lose a second and he wouldn't quite understand what that feeling was. Every time he felt that little skip in the air Sans would appear and smile at him.
Papyrus walks up to the pile of dust and clothes and falls to his knees, grabbing the hoody with shaky hands.
That's why Sans never put effort into anything anymore? Because he knew it would all be undone. His effort would be wasted. If things really WERE repeating themselves and if Sans was the only one experiencing it... It would be useless to keep trying something over and over and over again if it didn't work. But what was he doing that drained him so much?
Orange tears bubble up and stain Sans' hoody. Without a single sob or shout, he glances to the left of the pile at the tiny foot prints of the human child walking away from what they'd done.
"That KID."
Only someone with a strong human soul could have done this to his poor brother. The kid was a human.
Papyrus stands up and gathers Sans' clothes and most of his dust and leaves the scene slowly, already thinking and plotting.
()
The next two days pass so slowly. Papyrus absolutely will not stand for this. The human must be dealt with. But how? They're so strong. Every monster that gets in their way is murdered. Dust is beginning to fall like snow in the underground. An evacuation order has been sent out and most of Snowdin was deserted. Papyrus turns the TV on as background noise in the house. Mettaton's show comes on TV and on the screen is... the human. No one speaks. There are no words. No Mettaton, just the logo in the corner of the screen.
Short brown hair and a stripped shirt. The show is brief and cuts off abruptly. It looked like security footage more than anything.
()
Undyne doesn't answer her phone.
()
Mettaton isn't on TV anymore. His show doesn't even turn on.
()
Finally Papyrus decides to take measures into his own hands. That has gone too far... It already WENT too far when Sans was killed.
Papyrus has made his decision.
()
The Last Corridor is so quiet. As a trainy of the head of the Royal Guard who he can only surmise was also murdered, he has to be the last line of defense. He has to protect the king. But more than that, he wants to see the face of the kid that killed his brother. He wants... rev-
The small clicks of the human's shoes almost startle Papyrus. From the darkest part of the hall he can see tiny red dots. The human child walks up to him at a regular pace, seemingly interested in this backwards version of their little game. But they grin all the same. Something new.
Papyrus stands tall and puffs out his chest a little.
"HUMAN… I HAVE BEEN THINKING VERY HARD FOR A COUPLE DAYS... I THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS YOU WERE LONELY… OR THAT YOU WERE SAD AND DIDN'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO TAKE OUT YOUR FRUSTRATION. I THOUGHT THAT EVERYONE HAD SOME GOOD IN THEM. THAT IF THEY TRIED HARD ENOUGH, THEY COULD BE A GOOD PERSON. BUT I SEE NOW. YOU ARE NOT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. YOU'RE… YOU'RE JUST…. EVIL. YOU HAVE TAKEN TOO MUCH AWAY FROM THE UNDERGROUND. YOU HAVE TAKEN… MY BROTHER. AND I CANNOT STAND BY ANY MORE AND WATCH YOU DESTROY ANYONE ELSE!" White and blue bones glow and float around him. They jettison towards the child at breakneck speed. But the kid only darts around the bones like they'd done it a hundred times and this was simply routine.
They zip and dash easily making their way to Papyrus and slashes. Just one downward movement of their arm.
His hitpoints fall to zero instantly. Is this…
Did Sans have to do this? Is this what he was using all of his energy doing during the loops? Suffering alone and fighting the kid? Is this what he's been dealing with all by himself?
How many times?
How many times had this evil human murdered him? How many times did that knife slice through his brother and leave him totally alone in this big corridor to die at the feet of this demon?... Why would he keep doing it? Why would Sans have been standing here facing the human like this?...
Was it... the same situation that it was for him? Had Papyrus been slain by the human countless times, and left Sans alone in that sense as well? To stew in his anguish with his brothers dust in his hands… Was Sans coming here to stop the human… his fault?
Was this his fault?
()
Papyrus opens his eyes. Everything seems hazy… Memories were slipping from his mind. As if it were all a very very bad dream.
He sits up quickly, and realizes he's in his bedroom in Snowdin.
What? What just happened? Was he really dreaming? It all felt so real… It felt like a lifetime he spent in that nightmare… He was just in the Last Corridor wasn't he? Fighting the human?
Sans dust lying in the snow flashes in Papyrus' memories.
Sans!
He stands up quickly and rushes to his door, swinging it open. He looks immediately left to Sans room. The door…
For a week Papyrus stared at that door, clutching Sans' hoody. That never budging door. No slippered skeleton feet padding out, no silly puns…
But now, the door opens slowly and Sans steps out looking miserable. He looks exhausted and worn out.
It's true. What Papyrus went through was real… What SANS has been going through… What made him cry in Papyrus' arms and beg him not to leave the house…
What he just went though, Sans had gone through countless times.
This is a RESET.
Papyrus stands there with wide eyes, not believing that his precious big brother was really standing there in front of him.
Sans spots Papyrus standing there staring at him and quickly makes a big happy smile. A big fake happy smile.
This is what he always did. A reset would happen and Papyrus, the poor fool, would have no idea what his brother just went through. Sans would fake this cheery attitude every single time wouldn't he? And there Papyrus would be, scolding his brother for something and being... a right jerk.
"Mornin' Pap! Did y—" Papyrus runs over and sweeps his brother off his feet and into his arms in a huge tight hug. Sans' eyes widen in shock, and then double in size when he hears Papyrus sniffling.
"W-whoa, Papyrus are you okay?" Many clicking skeleton kisses are placed all over Sans' head and face. He sets his small brother down but he doesn't let go.
"SANS I'M SO SO SORRY! IF ONLY I'D KNOWN! I COULD HAVE HELPED YOU SOONER! OH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH SANS I'M SO SORRY I COULDN'T PROTECT YOU! I'M SO SORRY I LET YOU GO ALONE!"
"Wh-…what are you talkin' about Pap?" Sans doesn't want to hurt the timeline but not acting normal, so he keeps quiet. But…
"SANS… THAT WAS A RESET WASN'T IT?" Pap leans back and stares sadly into his brothers now terrified eyes.
"Wh…You…"
"YOU DIED SANS… I SAW YOUR DUST. THAT HUMAN KILLED YOU… I WENT TO STOP THEM BUT I... I WAS EASILY DEFEATED. AND THEN I WOKE UP JUST NOW… I'M SO SORRY SANS. I HAD NO IDEA SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE WAS HAPPENING TO YOU! THAT YOU WERE… BY YOURSELF ALL THAT TIME!" More tight hugs. Sans isn't even sure how to respond. His carefree brother has finally been tainted by the RESETS…
But… Maybe this was a… weirdly good thing?
"I WILL NEVER EVER LET YOU BE ALONE LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!" Papyrus shouts. Sans stands there staring up at his brother in genuine and unfiltered shock.
After several long seconds Sans chokes up and hugs Papyrus tightly, rubbing his face into his tall brother's scarf.
Just knowing that things were the way they were wasn't going to stop the RESETS.
But at least with Papyrus by his side, understanding, Sans could let the weight of this secret go. He could share the burden. He didn't WANT to share the burden if he didn't have to. But now it was unavoidable.
The boys spend the rest of the day on the couch talking about the different things Sans has experienced.
They're tangled and buried under every blanket and quilt they own and they cuddle and laugh with MTTV on in the background.